How To Seduce Women.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I actually have a thread asking for instructions... But there's already one dadaji trolling that thread.



Ok.

But, I'd like to forward you some of my PMs in return; I bet no guy messaged you asking if you could manage to make your womb available for 3 years for breeding purposes.

No, but if he was cute enough and rich enough youd do it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

It's in the mail.

I'm always the last to get the memos.

 

[subdued_passion]

No, but if he was cute enough and rich enough youd do it.

Wow, you really do know us weemin well.

If I was rude I'd ask if failure to meet said criteria (cute and rich) is why there aren't any juniors running around... But I am too polite to go there.

 

[subdued_passion]

I'm always the last to get the memos.

Yes, something to do with your location I think.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Wow, you really do know us weemin well.

If I was rude I'd ask if failure to meet said criteria (cute and rich) is why there aren't any juniors running around... But I am too polite to go there.

I have no idea what you mean by junior.

I have 5 sisters and 3 daughters and 6 grand daughters. I know women.

 

[subdued_passion]

I have 5 sisters and 3 daughters and 6 grand daughters. I know women.

(I immediately thought of Josef Fritzl. I hope there's more than one bathroom.)

I have no idea what you mean by junior.

I have 5 sisters and 3 daughters and 6 grand daughters. I know women.

Wait you are basing your opinions on women based on your family? Wouldn't that be a case of fruits from the ___________ tree.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Since I am a non-native speaker of the English language can someone please explain how seduction= rape?

I understand they are both in the non-consent/reluctant category of stories on Lit... is that where this confusion is originating from?

No. The confusion comes from a confused old goat. (See JBJ)

 

[Lord Pmann]

I added a rape to one of my new stories, the event was real. Guy goes to a redneck bar where 2 gals pick him up. They leave the bar. The girls slip the guy a Mickey Finn and take him to their fellas who take turns sodomizing the guy. Then they toss the guys naked body into the middle of downtown. Feel free to use it to catch a man for yourself.

You write stories????? Oh fuck, this is rich.

 

[subdued_passion]

You write stories????? Oh fuck, this is rich.

Don't mock; he's teaching you to become a better rapist.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Don't mock; he's teaching you to become a better rapist.

I should be ashamed. My raping skills just aren't up to snuff (<---- another very clever pun, for those of you quick enough to catch it). Right now, I'm just a Rapey Cub Scout. But hopefully, after the school of JBJ, I'll get my rape badge and I'll be a full on rapey Dave!!!!

I vow to be the best rapist possible. Leave no woman unviolated, no hole unfilled and no breast ungroped. I want to be the summa cum loudly of my graduating rape class.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I should be ashamed. My raping skills just aren't up to snuff (<---- another very clever pun, for those of you quick enough to catch it). Right now, I'm just a Rapey Cub Scout. But hopefully, after the school of JBJ, I'll get my rape badge and I'll be a full on rapey Dave!!!!

I vow to be the best rapist possible. Leave no woman unviolated, no hole unfilled and no breast ungroped. I want to be the summa cum loudly of my graduating rape class.

You don't qualify for the course till you've had one piece of pussy and meet our height-weight standards. So apply next year. I recommend WONDER BREAD, it builds strong bodies 12 ways.

 

[subdued_passion]

You don't qualify for the course till you've had one piece of pussy and meet our height-weight standards. So apply next year.

I like that this Rapist school is so exclusive. Gone are the days when any desperate jerk could have his way with a woman... No. In this day and age of refinement there are standards for all.

Keep up the good work Sir. I really hate it when I'm raped by scrawny midgets... they cheat by using their limbs instead of their member.

 

[Lord Pmann]

You don't qualify for the course till you've had one piece of pussy and meet our height-weight standards. So apply next year. I recommend WONDER BREAD, it builds strong bodies 12 ways.

Hmmmm. What do you consider a piece of pussy? How much is a piece? Are we talking 50%? Or just a nibble?

I probably meet the height and weight requirements. I'm 4'-10" and I'm pushing 410. I'm trying to make my weight and height match, for ease of filling out forms.

I really want to qualify here. I don't want to show up day one with my rapist kit only to be turned away for a technicality. I'd be so embarrassed walking out, Charlie Brown style, with my rope and duct tape in tow.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Hmmmm. What do you consider a piece of pussy? How much is a piece? Are we talking 50%? Or just a nibble?

I probably meet the height and weight requirements. I'm 4'-10" and I'm pushing 410. I'm trying to make my weight and height match, for ease of filling out forms.

I really want to qualify here. I don't want to show up day one with my rapist kit only to be turned away for a technicality. I'd be so embarrassed walking out, Charlie Brown style, with my rope and duct tape in tow.

Let me put it this way, EMERSON doesn't qualify for your certification.

 

[subdued_passion]

I probably meet the height and weight requirements. I'm 4'-10" and I'm pushing 410.

At 410 are you sure you'll be able to do any raping? You may end up crushing your victims to death. I can understand why any reputable rapist school would refuse you.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I like that this Rapist school is so exclusive. Gone are the days when any desperate jerk could have his way with a woman... No. In this day and age of refinement there are standards for all.

Keep up the good work Sir. I really hate it when I'm raped by scrawny midgets... they cheat by using their limbs instead of their member.

Sounds like this is the Harvard of rape unis. I imagine we are talking internships at the finest prisons, Picking Your Date Rape Drug 101 and 201, "Why Condoms Are For Pussies" (yet another amazing pun) seminars and a whole host of really nice, high class events where you can rub elbows with the likes of Mike Tyson, Roman Polanski, Kobe Bryant, etc.

I guess my first question to JBJ is... What is the best thing to do afterwards?

 

[Lord Pmann]

At 410 are you sure you'll be able to do any raping? You may end up crushing your victims to death. I can understand why any reputable rapist school would refuse you.

I'm pretty sure equal action rape law prevents women from discriminating against me as their rapist based on my weight. The ACLU and Jesse Jackson would be all over this case for me. I'll fight for my right to rape any day!

And if I crush them to death... Hmmmm. Perhaps I should get my master's degree in body hiding.

 

[subdued_passion]

I'm pretty sure equal action rape law prevents women from discriminating against me as their rapist based on my weight. The ACLU and Jesse Jackson would be all over this case for me. I'll fight for my right to rape any day!

I don't think the ACLU is recognised in the Jungle. You have a just cause, and someday rapists all over will thank you for your battle against the unfair laws of the Jungle.

You better grab a bite, this may take a while.

 

[subdued_passion]

Sounds like this is the Harvard of rape unis. I imagine we are talking internships at the finest prisons, Picking Your Date Rape Drug 101 and 201, "Why Condoms Are For Pussies" (yet another amazing pun) seminars and a whole host of really nice, high class events where you can rub elbows with the likes of Mike Tyson, Roman Polanski, Kobe Bryant, etc.

I guess my first question to JBJ is... What is the best thing to do afterwards?

This is such a dumb question... Isn't a book/ movie deal the goal? Tell the people your story... and then open your own school to compete with your alma mater.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I will, perhaps, open the MIT of rape schools. A bit more techie on the rape stuff, rather than artsy farsty. Like "what's the best angle of penetration" and the friction coefficients and such.

(Wake the fuck up Rainshine, this conversation needs your charming insight. Put down the boxed wine and come join!!!)

 

[subdued_passion]

(Wake the fuck up Rainshine, this conversation needs your charming insight. Put down the boxed wine and come join!!!)

Do you mean to imply that I am not charming company? I am offended . I'm gonna have your rape school offshored (thanks to JBJ all the basics have already been covered). Yup, from now on all the raping will be done by an Indian.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Sounds like this is the Harvard of rape unis. I imagine we are talking internships at the finest prisons, Picking Your Date Rape Drug 101 and 201, "Why Condoms Are For Pussies" (yet another amazing pun) seminars and a whole host of really nice, high class events where you can rub elbows with the likes of Mike Tyson, Roman Polanski, Kobe Bryant, etc.

I guess my first question to JBJ is... What is the best thing to do afterwards?

I was just thinking, you give a whole new meaning to MEMBERS ONLY.

Afterwards? Pray you don't get a disease. I know you don't know it but most rapists get infected by their victims.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Do you mean to imply that I am not charming company? I am offended . I'm gonna have your rape school offshored (thanks to JBJ all the basics have already been covered). Yup, from now on all the raping will be done by an Indian.

Indians only like their aunties. I know a few Indian women.

 

[subdued_passion]

Indians only like their aunties. I know a few Indian women.

Did you mean bhabhis, like Savita bhabhi?



BTW, I love how you are not only an authority on women but on Indian people too. Chapeau!

 

[Lord Pmann]

Do you mean to imply that I am not charming company? I am offended . I'm gonna have your rape school offshored (thanks to JBJ all the basics have already been covered). Yup, from now on all the raping will be done by an Indian.

Be not offended. My point was that she is a rapey Dave in her own rite and could offer some fantastic insights on this rape uni thing.

Outsourcing the rape is quite clever... Damned big business. "They took our jobs!!!"