How would you feel if your partner confessed that they had raped someone?

[jpin]

Thank you, I think. I really feel like I have no idea what I am talking about here, which is maybe a good place to start.



.. let's say a woman, ok fuckit a person, is starving and you have food they need and say no i won't give it to you unless you fuck me? Is that rape?

May seem like a far fetched scenario, but I'm sure it comes up. Replace food with other necessary resources, like $ and it's hardly takes a stretch of the imagination.

It does come up for homeless or 'semi-homeless' women a lot. IDK if you would call it rape or closer to a form of prostitution that she reluctantly engages in if that is the only way to have food, shelter, whatever.

I think it could be rape in some circumstances. Rape by coercion.

If you are somehow the only method of food, to follow your example, then there is no choice on her part.

Or shelter. F me or get out. Depending on the level of danger in choosing to get out, that could be rape by coercion.

For instance, getting out involves sleeping on the street where worse things than consenting to unwanted sex are highly likely to happen. Or it's so cold that it is physically dangerous .....

What about drugs? I'm not proud to admit this, but at a certain point in my life I knew a lot of girls that would fuck for oxycontin. If you had the goods, they were ready to party.

This may be terrible, but I am less inclined to ever see this as rape. Perhaps in their minds they need drugs as much as air to breathe, but the way you describe it is more like quid pro quo.

Unless you captured an addict who otherwise would not trade sex for drugs and demanded it or leave her in withdrawal...........

I've classed up my act since then.

 

[jpin]

I don't agree with this. A drunk driver has to take responsibility because they actually got behind the wheel and drove. The laws around that are seriously lacking too, in my opinion.

Someone who is raped is not the responsible party. It sounds like you are implying that if someone gets drunk, it is their fault if they get raped. Is that what you are saying?

I will say I have struggled with these thoughts over the years due to my own experience with rape. If both people are intoxicated, and one says no, I still believe it is rape. But how strongly can you blame the drunk person who rapes you when their facilities are limited by alcohol? If we blame and prosecute them for getting behind the wheel and driving, then shouldn't we be able to blame and prosecute them for rape? Sometimes I am not sure where I stand on this. Some days I blame the man who raped me, and some days I think we were both fucked up and didn't know what was happening. Although even drunk and saying no I knew what was happening, so shouldn't he have known?

That is a tough one. Especially when there is no 'no'. When it is claimed that it is rape if the woman was too drunk to consent - what if he was too drunk too?

 

[nodakgirl]

Every situation is uniqute...

My virginity was taken when I was drunk....at a party, and said no. Given the circumstances leading up to my saying no.....

I would have raped me too!

He paid the price due to the fact my older brother caught him in the act fucking me a second time and beat the shit out of him.

I felt bad things turned out this way for everyone, but I take full responsibility for my part in it. Before and after this happened, rape and rough sex had been a fantasy.

We attend BDSM events that have "rape teams" that work with you and your partner to simulate these fantasies....van included. I've yet to try, but so want to.

I wasn't a victim in my situation, but an active participant. For me nothing is hotter than nonconsent mixed with some humilation. I know I would have to hear all the facts before judging my partner"s past behavior....but then I would probably have to stop myself from jumping him afterwards.

Depending on the situation with his past, I may or may not forgive him for his actions, but in truth I'd likely appreciate this darker side and take advantage him.

p.s. My Master says I'm would not be that fun rape.....I'm too willing Thus no van scene yet

 

[Marquis]

I would have raped me too!

Explain.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That is a tough one. Especially when there is no 'no'. When it is claimed that it is rape if the woman was too drunk to consent - what if he was too drunk too?

Sometimes defense attorneys use this argument in murder cases, too. "He was too drunk to know he was killing the guy."
Might get the charge changed to manslaughter, but the guy is still dead, and the rape victim is still raped.

 

[Felonious1]

Consider this scenario. Barely legal aged male, socially and emotionally behind the curve. Simple minded and doesn't know the difference between being controlled, coerced and manipulated vs wanted, desired and actually liked by an under aged female who's far ahead of her true age in all the areas the male isn't up to speed on just yet.

Sexual contact occurs. The authorities are brought in as revenge when the under aged female is scorned. It's legally statutory rape he's charged with. Yet In actuality, the legal aged male was victimized by said under aged, cunning and manipulative female.

Reverse the scenario above. Make the female legal aged and the male under aged. For most people, the depth and gravity of the offense just lessened due to the societal gender bias that puts the male in the power power position by default. Legal age be damned, under aged males victimized by older females just aren't recognized as victims in many situations.

Labeling the victim and perpetrator isn't always clear cut and defined the same on all fronts of contention.

 

[ForHerToUse]

If she'd raped someone? I'd wonder why she isn't assertive with me.

 

[FurryFury]

If my current partner confessed to rape, I'd have to get more details. I'd be stunned. He has a bit of a martyr complex so I'm not sure I'd believe him until I got more details. It violates everything I know about him in the 23 years we've been together.

 

[LucyH]

I've been known to under-react.

 

[marieR19]

Consider this scenario. Barely legal aged male, socially and emotionally behind the curve. Simple minded and doesn't know the difference between being controlled, coerced and manipulated vs wanted, desired and actually liked by an under aged female who's far ahead of her true age in all the areas the male isn't up to speed on just yet.

Sexual contact occurs. The authorities are brought in as revenge when the under aged female is scorned. It's legally statutory rape he's charged with. Yet In actuality, the legal aged male was victimized by said under aged, cunning and manipulative female.

Reverse the scenario above. Make the female legal aged and the male under aged. For most people, the depth and gravity of the offense just lessened due to the societal gender bias that puts the male in the power power position by default. Legal age be damned, under aged males victimized by older females just aren't recognized as victims in many situations.

Labeling the victim and perpetrator isn't always clear cut and defined the same on all fronts of contention.

Usually, not all the time but *usually*, if the so-called rapist is mentally challenged they DO take that into consideration when it comes to prison/jail/mental facility/etc. That's why they often have "perps" checked out by psychologists and such.

About to title question, I'm seeing a lot of replies that make me feel like I'm being too harsh, but the truth is I most likely wouldn't feel safe with them anymore. And that's NOT just a rape thing. I personally don't feel safe living with an ex-drug addict, because of the always-present fear that they would start again, and it would lead ME into a dangerous situation. My mother hasn't had a drink in five years but I *still* sneak through her bedroom looking for hidden bottles because I don't feel completely comfortable living with an ex-alcoholic when I *KNOW* from other family incidents how easy it is to slip. So sure, the rape may be in the past, but unless we have a VERY long discussion about it and I honestly feel they were sorry for what they did, I'd feel a little uncomfortable. Not knowing their mentality now vs whatever they were thinking when they did it.