How You Ever Been Temped? And Did The Right Thing?

[FurryFury]

Hmm, you sound a little bitter about something.

I didn't do it.

No. I had a very close friend/relationship with this young lady for some years If there was one thing that could be said for her, she had her eyes wide open all the time and had a very good grasp of life, people, relationships. I can not explain in any more detail because of well promises I made to put it bluntly.

No their was no mistake about what we did and when we did it, It would have been a mistake and I would have been to blame if I had let the relationship get very much deeper.

Just because on can do something doesn't mean that it is a good thing.

I always reserve the right to protect myself and my loved ones from a known fuck up! And I felt it would hurt her more than me.

And us in a deep relationship would have a whopper!

Actually I'm bitter about a few things but that doesn't have much to do with this thread.

So are you saying she sees the wisdom of the choice you made for her now?

Fury

 

[bareman]

perspective...a funny thing

OK, question here. A few of the guys above mentioned a woman giving them a smile, etc and they do the 'sigh... I'm married' thing, the 'if only I wasn't married' idea.

I mean no disrespect, honestly, but are you telling me I should stop smiling at people (men are included haha)? Do you think 'you could have them squealing in no time'? Is this just one of those 'that's the way men think' thing? Really, I'm serious with the question.

Cathleen...I think where a person is at in his/her life has a lot to do with perception. As I age, I'm seeing the nuances more clearly and the absolutes have more fuzzy edges.

For instance, I was in a bar (meat market) recently when a very hot young lady and I made eye contact. She was singing along with the song "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" when our eyes met. She flashed me a dazzling smile and just as she walked past me, a wink. Needless to say, my heart rate went up with the rush of adrenaline.

Twenty years ago, I would have been out of my seat in a flash, on her trail like a hound tracking a fox (pun intended), but as I close in on the half-century mark, I saw it for what it was...an innocent flirtation. Needless to say, I kept an eye on her as I finished my drink, and she was flirting with many men that night, but when men returned the attention, she blew them off.

Twenty years ago, I'd have thought she was being a cock-teasing bitch, but that night I saw it for what it was...a woman out having fun, making herself feel good. Maybe she was looking for validation after a breakup, or maybe her husband was out of town, but it didn't look as though she was going home with anyone that night.

So much of life is determined by circumstance and happenstance. We've all been tempted and we all have what-ifs and regrets...whether or not you did the "right" thing when confronted with the situation is up to you, and the answer may change in your own mind as you age and mature...

Just my 2 cents' worth...

 

[Cathleen]

It's not that it's "in the bag" in any way, shape, or form. It's that we can't even try. I never dated much, found my wife as the 2nd person I ever slept with. It's fun to flirt, get a smile, to wink at someone and get a blush, etc. You hear people say "part of the fun is the chase" when they talk about dating.

Cathleen...I think where a person is at in his/her life has a lot to do with perception. As I age, I'm seeing the nuances more clearly and the absolutes have more fuzzy edges.

For instance, I was in a bar (meat market) recently when a very hot young lady and I made eye contact. She was singing along with the song "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" when our eyes met. She flashed me a dazzling smile and just as she walked past me, a wink. Needless to say, my heart rate went up with the rush of adrenaline.

Twenty years ago, I would have been out of my seat in a flash, on her trail like a hound tracking a fox (pun intended), but as I close in on the half-century mark, I saw it for what it was...an innocent flirtation. Needless to say, I kept an eye on her as I finished my drink, and she was flirting with many men that night, but when men returned the attention, she blew them off.

Twenty years ago, I'd have thought she was being a cock-teasing bitch, but that night I saw it for what it was...a woman out having fun, making herself feel good. Maybe she was looking for validation after a breakup, or maybe her husband was out of town, but it didn't look as though she was going home with anyone that night.

So much of life is determined by circumstance and happenstance. We've all been tempted and we all have what-ifs and regrets...whether or not you did the "right" thing when confronted with the situation is up to you, and the answer may change in your own mind as you age and mature...

Just my 2 cents' worth...

Thanks for the replies guys, I appreciate it (and that you understood I wasn't bashing men with my question).


I totally agree about the chase being a lot of the fun -- there's no doubt about it. I agree it can be fun to look too, and what bareman said about seeing things for what they are is comforting actually.

Bareman, I have to tell you that I see my life with such fuzzy vision that I bump into walls! Life over forty is far easier in so many respects, I'm mid-way to that next zero birthday and without a doubt I can attest that life does begin at 40.

Increasing the heart rate is just healty and there's no one way to do it. At least that's what I tell my cardiologist.

Thanks again guys.

 

[fgarvb1]

Actually I'm bitter about a few things but that doesn't have much to do with this thread.

So are you saying she sees the wisdom of the choice you made for her now?

Fury

I don't think she would trade places with my wife for anything...Last time I found out anything about her life from mutual friends she was married happily with at least three kids. Good for her, the doctor had told her she would never have kids.


If and when I see her again I'll not ask her, I will smile and tell her how happy I am for them because I am.

 

[bareman]

Have you ever been tempted? I was One time years ago before I married this last time.

Did You Do What You Knew Was Right?

I MEAN REAALLY FUCKING TEMPTED? Twin devils setting on each shoulder?

I was one time. I passed the test…I think.


I was tempted today...passed the test, but am all conflicted about it. She's an old fuckbuddy of mine...haven't been intimate in several years, but the sex was good when we were. We talk a few times a year as friends.

Today she called, asking if I was into a threesome with her and her long-term b/f...she knows about my desire to try a group thing. The problem is I am in a committed relationship (monogamous), and my g/f isn't into bringing anyone else in. If I wasn't in this relationship, and I have no desire to leave it, I would be all over this offer in a heartbeat, but I can't, so I won't.

This is where the conflict comes in...is this one of those situations that will haunt me for years...one of the what-ifs that we all have? I have passed up other opportunities to experience new things, for various reasons, and now sometimes kick myself in the ass for having done so.

Damn. Just wanted to get this off my chest. *sigh*

Sometimes doing the right thing really sucks.

 

[FurryFury]

Have you ever been tempted? I was One time years ago before I married this last time.

Did You Do What You Knew Was Right?

I MEAN REAALLY FUCKING TEMPTED? Twin devils setting on each shoulder?

I was one time. I passed the test…I think.


I was tempted today...passed the test, but am all conflicted about it. She's an old fuckbuddy of mine...haven't been intimate in several years, but the sex was good when we were. We talk a few times a year as friends.

Today she called, asking if I was into a threesome with her and her long-term b/f...she knows about my desire to try a group thing. The problem is I am in a committed relationship (monogamous), and my g/f isn't into bringing anyone else in. If I wasn't in this relationship, and I have no desire to leave it, I would be all over this offer in a heartbeat, but I can't, so I won't.

This is where the conflict comes in...is this one of those situations that will haunt me for years...one of the what-ifs that we all have? I have passed up other opportunities to experience new things, for various reasons, and now sometimes kick myself in the ass for having done so.

Damn. Just wanted to get this off my chest. *sigh*

Sometimes doing the right thing really sucks.

I agree. Then again I wouldn't like myself enough to keep on otherwise. That's what keeps me on the straight and narrow.

In any case, kudos to you! You slew that dragon.

Fury

 

[bareman]

---

Thank you for your kind words, Fury. I wasn't really looking for props or anything...just needed to vent a bit. As to slaying the dragon, something tells me there may be other battles, at least in my own mind. The f-buddy and her b/f are nearby, and she has been trying to get something restarted with me for some time. I don't want to be making one of those late night calls...you know, the kind that get you in all kinds of trouble...

 

[FurryFury]

Thank you for your kind words, Fury. I wasn't really looking for props or anything...just needed to vent a bit. As to slaying the dragon, something tells me there may be other battles, at least in my own mind. The f-buddy and her b/f are nearby, and she has been trying to get something restarted with me for some time. I don't want to be making one of those late night calls...you know, the kind that get you in all kinds of trouble...

You mean a booty call?

Yeah, I figured you'd have more dragons to slay.

Fury

 

[Becca007]

Man, you people are all too good!
I've been tempted lots of times and I think I failed every time...even when I tell myself beforehand, "I will not do XYZ", I still fail...I get too in the moments and forget about what I was going to do or what I sould be doing and just go for whatever...
I'm lousy when it comes to doing the right thing...but on the other hand...I'm really good at not getting caught doing the wrong one

 

[maggie_the_cat]

Though I have been walking the straight and narrow as of late (and believe me I had to buy a map and hire a guide ) I just had to say that your post made me smile and wave to the woman I was before I became the one I am now.......

Cheers!

 

[kirkat]

this is a great thread about walking down the road of life, smelling the roses just behind the tall fence .... knowing there is more than just the scent on the breeze to enjoy.... and still be able to walk down the road with a smile on your face enjoying life all the same.


Course, when there are no fences there... life can really be fantastic

 

[FurryFury]

this is a great thread about walking down the road of life, smelling the roses just behind the tall fence .... knowing there is more than just the scent on the breeze to enjoy.... and still be able to walk down the road with a smile on your face enjoying life all the same.


Course, when there are no fences there... life can really be fantastic

I LOVE your outlook and works on this!

*grins*

Fury