I am a Maestro with 38 years in this lifestyle

[Curious_in_Cali]

I yam.

Welcome to Lit.

 

[Cumference]

I have a BS in BS ...

Those are the words of a true master!

 

[Dianthus]

I built a little birdhouse in my soul... not sure why.

Perhaps, like Emily Dickinson, you were trying to house a small bird...

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

I am Sparticus

 

[BiBunny]

I'm Spider-Woman.

No, really.

 

[Kittycansquirt]

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob goo goo goo goo joob

Winning <3

 

[graceanne]

I'm Spider-Woman.

No, really.

So you're a bunny-spider-woman?

I think I might have found the core of your confusion.

 

[BiBunny]

So you're a bunny-spider-woman?

I think I might have found the core of your confusion.

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

*Hides bunny ears*

None whatsoever.

 

[IrisAlthea]

So you're a bunny-spider-woman?

I think I might have found the core of your confusion.

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

*Hides bunny ears*

None whatsoever.

Haha, that's BDSM board therapy!

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I invented a chronodialator and now I work for Bad Horse.

no wait...

I once cleaned the stall of Bad Horse?

yeah that's a bit closer.

I've had to clean a lot of stalls belonging to bad horses.

 

[Malich]

And now I'm going to have those two songs stuck in my head all day!

 

[graceanne]

Haha, that's BDSM board therapy!

Never let it be said I didn't do anything.

 

[straypuss]

What a lot of sillies, a Maestro conducts BDSM by beating time.

 

[midwestyankee]

What a lot of sillies, a Maestro conducts BDSM by beating time.

Isn't "beating time" what we're all about, whether kinked or vanilla? Trying to forestall that one certainty in life?

 

[straypuss]

I don't get it, how does beating time put off paying your taxes?

 

[midwestyankee]

I don't get it, how does beating time put off paying your taxes?

Taxes are not the one certainty.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm Spider-Woman.

No, really.

I once came across BDSM porn that involved a woman who was naked except for a spider hat. Big black spider with legs sticking out the sides of her head. I really wish (a) I'd been able to find out the context, and (b) I'd saved a copy.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I am a cruel man. But fair.

I am the best of the best of the best. Sir.

I am a ... human being.

I'm a Republican.

I'm the NRA.

I am your density.

I am Legend.

I am America (and so can you).

I am a man of constant sorrow.

I am a human time bomb.

I am your father.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm a man of wealth and fame.

I'm a believer.

I'm so lonesome I could die.

I'm free!

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I'm a member of an apelike race in the asshole end of the twentieth century...
Oh snap. That hasn't worked for over a decade sorry James.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I'm laying out my winter clothes, wishing I was gone.

 

[Malich]

In a clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade

(Love that song)

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am an ape man

damn I haven't heard that song in a long time.

 

[unregistered]

 

[DesEsseintes]

If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
I'm your man
If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
And if you want a doctor
I'll examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
Climb inside
Or if you want to take me for a ride
You know you can
I'm your man

Ah, the moon's too bright
The chain's too tight
The beast won't go to sleep
I've been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or I'd crawl to you baby
And I'd fall at your feet
And I'd howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart
And I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please, please
I'm your man

And if you've got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
I'll disappear for you
If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
I'm your man

If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you
​

<NB - Mask offer is non-transferable and non-negotiable. Actual monetary value of dog in heat £0.00001. Torn sheets are the responsibility of the sheet owner.>