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I am wearing a collar today... problem?
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yuppietowngirl
Bambi's Stand In
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vixenshe said:Thank you all..
One of my co-workers last night.. (the one I have a crush on)... he noticed it.. and he said "nice collar".... and he sort of waited. And then he said "you didn't correct me".
I was like grinning, because I had purposely not corrected him, to say it was a choker.
I grinned and he said.. "most women would say it's a choker"
And I said "but I'm not most women".
And he said... "well, by the looks of you in that COLLAR, I would say not.... nice to know that about you".
*GRIN*
Wow that is brilliant *s* What a wonderful way to start the weekend *s* This made me smile...it is nice to see someone happy.
yuppietowngirl said:Wow that is brilliant *s* What a wonderful way to start the weekend *s* This made me smile...it is nice to see someone happy.
Thank you..
I'm glad it made you happy....
and I can't WAIT for the sexual tension at work. I get off on sexual tension.
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s'lara
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Curious
i would be curious to know whether the woman in question was in the life. Sort of like knowing she was part of life would make me smile inside.
Other than that, i've seen woman with them and just think in general that a collar on a woman is incredibly beautiful. Seems to accentuate her femininity.
i would be curious to know whether the woman in question was in the life. Sort of like knowing she was part of life would make me smile inside.
Other than that, i've seen woman with them and just think in general that a collar on a woman is incredibly beautiful. Seems to accentuate her femininity.
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
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woodcarver said:
Well, I can't comment on the too much coffee, but you might consider making a collar for yourself. Sort of as a project. That way you can make it as large as need be, and as comfortable as need be.
I would have thought a collar would be easier to make than a harness... but perhaps I'm mistaken.
Shadowsdream
Dream Maker
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FungiUg said:
The pet store has large and very beautiful collars..as beautiful, ornamental and strong as any found in fetish stores if you need a large size.
bunny bondage
just cruisin' through
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dogs get the best stuff
aside from the really cute stuffed toys they sell for "chew-toys" (several of which i have rescued from their terrible fate) they've got some pretty excellent leashes, too. mine is a sturdy chain-link leash with a nice leather loop at the end for a handle. it clips perfectly onto my collar, and looks great with it besides!
and i forget who was mentioning this, but a personalized dog-dish for a sub is also a neat idea.
aside from the really cute stuffed toys they sell for "chew-toys" (several of which i have rescued from their terrible fate) they've got some pretty excellent leashes, too. mine is a sturdy chain-link leash with a nice leather loop at the end for a handle. it clips perfectly onto my collar, and looks great with it besides!
and i forget who was mentioning this, but a personalized dog-dish for a sub is also a neat idea.
Vixen's idea, and awesome response from her friend, is insipring.
I don't think I could get away with wearing a collar all day
1) I'm a guy and it doesn't look as good outside of the lifestyle
2) I go to a prep-school with dress code
3) Of the many things my parents don't know... this is one they probably shouldn't
However, I think I'll purchase some nice leather strips and make myself some cuffs or something for my wrists. It'll remind me all day, it'll look good, and hopefully someone will notice.
Thumbs up to Vixen, gotta love sexual tension
I don't think I could get away with wearing a collar all day
1) I'm a guy and it doesn't look as good outside of the lifestyle
2) I go to a prep-school with dress code
3) Of the many things my parents don't know... this is one they probably shouldn't
However, I think I'll purchase some nice leather strips and make myself some cuffs or something for my wrists. It'll remind me all day, it'll look good, and hopefully someone will notice.
Thumbs up to Vixen, gotta love sexual tension
One of my guy friends that is kind of in the "punk" lifestyle (hair dyed interesting colors, lots of piercings, etc) once wore a studded dog-type collar for a while. He was wearing it just because he liked it and it went with his style, but he kept getting asked what he said were "weird" questions by women...like do you switch, questions to do with the lifestyle. So he asked me, not knowing that *I* am in the lifestyle if I knew what they meant. So I explained it to him...probably told the poor kid more than he ever wanted to know in the process.
Sometimes I wear a chain bracelet, and I've been approached by potential Doms...it depends if I'm interested or not what I say.
I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing clothing that could be interpreted as fetish/BDSM...you can always decide how you'll take questions.
Sometimes I wear a chain bracelet, and I've been approached by potential Doms...it depends if I'm interested or not what I say.
I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing clothing that could be interpreted as fetish/BDSM...you can always decide how you'll take questions.
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
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The sacredness of the collar has always been important to me, and as much as I longed for it to be something I could experience personally, I could not contemplate wearing something in the hope it would appear to another I was an active submissive and part of the lifestyle. This was more out of respect for the significance of the collar, more than fear of outing my lifestyle choices, as I have never sought to deny my inclusion in BDSM. Chokers and other such jewellry have been a part of my wardrobe as long as I remember, especially as I was a teen in the 70's when it was a fashion trend, but never as a pretend collar or source of attracting attention.
So on reading this thread I began to think perhaps I had missed something and misunderstood the collar totally. Being ever curious, I researched but did not find anything where it was seriously considered by lifestylers as a decoration to intrigue others, nor an invitation to approach. In fact for a Dominant to approach a collared submissive uninvited by their D is by most considered ill mannered at the very least, disrespectful by most. I can understand the longing, but feel this trivialises the purpose of a collar as a symbol of commitment between themselves and their Dominant and all it entails.
http://www.steel-door.com/Consideration_Collar.html
This article expresses and reflects my understanding and adherence to the tradition of being collared.
Catalina
So on reading this thread I began to think perhaps I had missed something and misunderstood the collar totally. Being ever curious, I researched but did not find anything where it was seriously considered by lifestylers as a decoration to intrigue others, nor an invitation to approach. In fact for a Dominant to approach a collared submissive uninvited by their D is by most considered ill mannered at the very least, disrespectful by most. I can understand the longing, but feel this trivialises the purpose of a collar as a symbol of commitment between themselves and their Dominant and all it entails.
http://www.steel-door.com/Consideration_Collar.html
This article expresses and reflects my understanding and adherence to the tradition of being collared.
Catalina
catalina_francisco said:
I don't wear my collar to attract attention.. I wear it because it is a reminder to ME that I am a submissive. I wear it because it makes me feel beautiful and sexy and submissive, and it makes me think of Sir. It is not his collar, and it is not the collar of any other Dom... it is MY collar, my own reminder. If Sir were ever to collar me, I would wear it with the respect you describe, but it is merely my own reminder. And yes, Sir knows of it, etc.
At the time that I began this thread, however, I was Sir-less. And I wore it for the same reasons.. it makes me feel beautiful and sexy, and it reminds me that submission is an integral part of me.
The man at work did not approach me.. he merely asked a question, and liked the response. There had been much flirting etc between he and I prior to that point, and there is still much attention given to each other. He now knows about my lifestyle, and only before he knew about Sir did he take a dominant tone with me... which made my knees weak.. but then I explained Sir and he immediately respected that.
And besides. Just because there is theory and 'dogma' as it were, on how a collar should be viewed and understood, does not mean that I will buy into it. I've spent the last 3 years of my life rejecting the dogma of the religion I was raised in... I am someone who lives my life to make ME feel comfortable and okay, and as such, I have very different understandings of some things than others do.
catalina_francisco
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vixenshe said:
While I respect your right to make choices which suit you, I also think respect and authenticity are a must if one wants to participate and be taken seriously within contexts be they religion, BDSM, marriage, or some other instuitution that has recognisable symbols of goals reached so to speak. If I see a nun in the dress recognised, I like to think unless she is part of a festival or fancy dress party she is really a nun, not someone who has decided it would be cool clothing to wear. Similarly the same goes for police officers, wearers of wedding rings, monks, and the list goes on.
Call me a little old fashioned, though I have usually been called radical, but I think these symbols deserve respect. If some choose to wear them as fashion statements etc., that is their choice. For me it is like saying I have a Master but I make the rules, I do the whipping of myself, I decide if and how I am to be punished and do it, then tie myself to the bed each night and sleep alone. Is like I am wanting it so bad I am going to do all to complete the fantasy and to hell with truth.
How can one give themselves a collar no matter the reasoning? And does this reflect honesty and commitment to another or yourself? Wouldn't it be more satisfying to pursue a reality of being collared by another and accepting all the responsibility that requires instead of deciding to do it for yourself in another's physical absence?
In reality, from what you have said, your collar is a remnant of a past that had nothing to do with lifestyle choices, and everything to do with the things you are now trying to eradicate from your life because of the unhappiness they have brought you.....so doesn't it as such symbolise and remind you each day of that negativity you are moving away from? Your choices are yours to choose, but I think you could focus that energy on obtaining the dream you obviously have which in the longterm would I am sure bring you more lasting happiness and fulfillment.
Catalina
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As I have now said THREE times, I do it as a reminder.
I dont do it as a way to say I AM COLLARED, HEAR ME ROAR.
I dont wear it for show, as a piece of fashion.. I wear it because it is important to me, a reminder of what I have with Sir.
Sir will most likely not collar me, and we both understand that. He lives too far away and we are not able to consummate our relationship. He knows about and is fine with me wearing the collar.. he knows I think of him when I wear it, and I remember my own submission when I wear it.
You might not think I give it enough respect, but believe me, I respect the symbol. I am not acting out something that I can't have (though yes, I said I probably won't have it.. I began wearing it before I had a Sir).
It is a reminder. It is my own symbol of submission, even if I am not submitting to someone. It is my way of remembering how it feels to submit, remembering the beauty of submission.
I dont do it as a way to say I AM COLLARED, HEAR ME ROAR.
I dont wear it for show, as a piece of fashion.. I wear it because it is important to me, a reminder of what I have with Sir.
Sir will most likely not collar me, and we both understand that. He lives too far away and we are not able to consummate our relationship. He knows about and is fine with me wearing the collar.. he knows I think of him when I wear it, and I remember my own submission when I wear it.
You might not think I give it enough respect, but believe me, I respect the symbol. I am not acting out something that I can't have (though yes, I said I probably won't have it.. I began wearing it before I had a Sir).
It is a reminder. It is my own symbol of submission, even if I am not submitting to someone. It is my way of remembering how it feels to submit, remembering the beauty of submission.
