I bit it off, now I have to chew it.

[intothewoods]

Wow....TPE just sounds a lot like marriage.

Lol. There is truth in that!

Truly, in most states, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. Beyond that though, you really can't cut and run when someone makes a mistake in a marriage. Well, you can, but I digress...Anyway, the test of a strong relationship is how you get through these stressful situations. How do you compromise and yet still feel heard. Perhaps there isn't "compromise" in a TPE. But in any relationship, a couple must learn from these situations and grow, or they stagnate and die.

Ahem. Happy Thursday!

 

[Rosie_Riveter]

Lol. There is truth in that!

Truly, in most states, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. Beyond that though, you really can't cut and run when someone makes a mistake in a marriage. Well, you can, but I digress...Anyway, the test of a strong relationship is how you get through these stressful situations. How do you compromise and yet still feel heard. Perhaps there isn't "compromise" in a TPE. But in any relationship, a couple must learn from these situations and grow, or they stagnate and die.

Ahem. Happy Thursday!

Words of wisdom.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Tastes good.

Do you enjoy being in this situation? The words don’t say so in your letter. Money or economics is the base of wars and break-ups...exceptions can be lil child for mum or may be parents...some times even siblings, even less partners. Assess where your relationship stand realistically; the choice of your words suggest it’s not like the exceptions mentioned above. If it is not, don’t try to make it an exception…for there is nothing easier, and also worse, then deceiving your own self.

I have lost a lot in lending to "friends" ... still have not learned to say "no". But have learn one thing - organize my finances, so the account which is my personal (not business, not mortgage) if it has the money, I see the demand made on it, if I can part away, I do, and when I do, I do not expect it back whether its $100 or $10,000. So, if it comes back, I am happy, if it does not, it doest not hurt much...!

Even here in the BDSM forum, there are a lot of people who cannot understand how anyone can be happy in TPE slavery. I acknowledge that our relationship dynamic is effectively a niche lifestyle within a niche lifestyle. That said, I don't know your personal situation or perspective.

When I posted the OP, I was pissed off. I don't have friends within this lifestyle in RL and on occasion, when I really need to vent a little, the BDSM talk forumees are good enough to indulge me.

If I hadn't had that trip planned, I wouldn't have been half as bothered about Master using my money. We have only been in a 24/7 M/s dynamic for 3 months or so and this is the first time money has come into things. It was also the first thing he'd done that I wasn't 100% happy with and therefore an end to our M/s honeymoon period so, although I expected that stuff like this would happen at times, it was a little disheartening because it burst our utopian bubble. Cue post 1.

It did smart at first that he had made a mistake and that I was required to pay for it. As Easternsun said a few pages back: -

I looked at my role in the relationship and the changes it would require in me as a very positive force. But I have to be honest and say that initially I only wanted to submit to the best part of him, the most noble, generous, loving part. I thought he would meet his new responsibility by protecting me from the darker or weaker parts of himself as well as the darker, weaker parts of myself.

The fact is that I would have been happier if he had taken the money for a new guitar. What bothered me was that he had failed to protect me from his mistake. That was the let down, not the fact that he had chosen to take what was his. That he had left me with an empty savings account before I took my trip didn't help matters either, I'll admit. But also, he knew he had fucked up and was being apologetic. I didn't realise at first but that bugged me too. He has the right to take from me what he wants for whatever reason. That he was apologising for it made me think that he didn't feel our dynamic completely covered what he was doing either and if he truly felt that way, he shouldn't have been using our dynamic to cover his ass.

So that's what happened. Then we had a long talk that lasted most of the night and straightened a lot of things out.

Firstly, he asked me if I would have let him have the money if he was in trouble like this and it was still my decision to make. I said yes. He asked if I had any doubt that the cash would be returned to my account as soon as possible. I had none.

We cleared up a lot of the stuff surrounding his apologetic attitude and my dissatisfaction. He knew he had the right to use my money but because we are a new couple he was uncertain how I'd react and whether he was damaging our dynamic for the future. I said that I knew he was acting within his rights but that being skint left me potentially vulnerable and that I was concerned that by acquiescing without complaint I might set a bad pattern for the future. His duty of care to me does not include leaving me broke for any length of time and he knows this. He has no intention of repeating his mistakes and you'll just have to trust me when I say that I believe him 100%.

Then he got on the phone to the tax office and other people. He reduced the amount he would have to pay immediately by half and as soon as he did that he returned half the money to my account so that I could take some of it on my trip to the USA. He did not have to do this and I was grateful to him for doing everything in his power to resolve matters. This also goes a long way towards convincing me that his intentions are as honourable as I ever thought they were and that he is the trustworthy person with whom I fell in love and to whom I gave myself.

Because of all this, I can indeed say that I am happy in my position of slave. These are still very early days and we are still settling into our new lifestyle gradually. This episode shook my confidence a little because I didn't think that I would be as affected by this first incident as I was initially. I do not regret my decision to become his slave just as I have no regrets about moving in with Master. Everything is progressing as well as can be expected for 2 people who have never cohabited with anyone and never had a TPE relationship before. There are going to be misunderstandings at this stage, what matters is how we deal with them.

I hope I have convinced you that we handled things well.

 

[rooky2]

Re:Taste good...

Yes, you have convinced that both of you together handled things well and that you are happy with your life as a slave...I wrote only as your words sounded complaining (or at least felt like)... else would have not wasted your and mine time!

 

[Netzach]

Even here in the BDSM forum, there are a lot of people who cannot understand how anyone can be happy in TPE slavery. I acknowledge that our relationship dynamic is effectively a niche lifestyle within a niche lifestyle. That said, I don't know your personal situation or perspective.

When I posted the OP, I was pissed off. I don't have friends within this lifestyle in RL and on occasion, when I really need to vent a little, the BDSM talk forumees are good enough to indulge me.

If I hadn't had that trip planned, I wouldn't have been half as bothered about Master using my money. We have only been in a 24/7 M/s dynamic for 3 months or so and this is the first time money has come into things. It was also the first thing he'd done that I wasn't 100% happy with and therefore an end to our M/s honeymoon period so, although I expected that stuff like this would happen at times, it was a little disheartening because it burst our utopian bubble. Cue post 1.

It did smart at first that he had made a mistake and that I was required to pay for it. As Easternsun said a few pages back: -

The fact is that I would have been happier if he had taken the money for a new guitar. What bothered me was that he had failed to protect me from his mistake. That was the let down, not the fact that he had chosen to take what was his. That he had left me with an empty savings account before I took my trip didn't help matters either, I'll admit. But also, he knew he had fucked up and was being apologetic. I didn't realise at first but that bugged me too. He has the right to take from me what he wants for whatever reason. That he was apologising for it made me think that he didn't feel our dynamic completely covered what he was doing either and if he truly felt that way, he shouldn't have been using our dynamic to cover his ass.

So that's what happened. Then we had a long talk that lasted most of the night and straightened a lot of things out.

Firstly, he asked me if I would have let him have the money if he was in trouble like this and it was still my decision to make. I said yes. He asked if I had any doubt that the cash would be returned to my account as soon as possible. I had none.

We cleared up a lot of the stuff surrounding his apologetic attitude and my dissatisfaction. He knew he had the right to use my money but because we are a new couple he was uncertain how I'd react and whether he was damaging our dynamic for the future. I said that I knew he was acting within his rights but that being skint left me potentially vulnerable and that I was concerned that by acquiescing without complaint I might set a bad pattern for the future. His duty of care to me does not include leaving me broke for any length of time and he knows this. He has no intention of repeating his mistakes and you'll just have to trust me when I say that I believe him 100%.

Then he got on the phone to the tax office and other people. He reduced the amount he would have to pay immediately by half and as soon as he did that he returned half the money to my account so that I could take some of it on my trip to the USA. He did not have to do this and I was grateful to him for doing everything in his power to resolve matters. This also goes a long way towards convincing me that his intentions are as honourable as I ever thought they were and that he is the trustworthy person with whom I fell in love and to whom I gave myself.

Because of all this, I can indeed say that I am happy in my position of slave. These are still very early days and we are still settling into our new lifestyle gradually. This episode shook my confidence a little because I didn't think that I would be as affected by this first incident as I was initially. I do not regret my decision to become his slave just as I have no regrets about moving in with Master. Everything is progressing as well as can be expected for 2 people who have never cohabited with anyone and never had a TPE relationship before. There are going to be misunderstandings at this stage, what matters is how we deal with them.

I hope I have convinced you that we handled things well.

Not to keep bumping this thing, but I'm pretty impressed with his actions after the fact. I don't think anyone just leaps perfectly formed into M/s at any age, particularly a younger one, which you both are. The communication you guys are doing sounds really strong.