I have always wanted to ask the Dominants....

[~ Emmeline ~]

Taking a submissive to subspace is so much more than sexual. In can be downright spiritual. I suppose, since loving her has a lot do to with our relationship, I want to give her back everything she gives me, and then some. I know she likes to be spanked and flogged and used for my pleasure. I also know she needs to be held and caressed when she has been through so much emotionally from the flogging. This is true for me too. It can be hard work to get her to that state of detatchment, emotionally and physically.
Yes, it is very much sexual. But, it is very much emotional as well. When the two are incorporated, it is simply fucking amazing. Getting her to subspace and bringing her down from it is beyond despcription. As I say, it is downright spiritual.

Thank you, Sir James, it was very interesting to hear your perspective.

 

[Ebonyfire]

...I took this little piece from My old web site....
When My slave presents his wrists to Me for binding him to My will I immediately begin to enter a new world. The world of power and control. I feel an internal growth that radiates throughout My being and fills Me with the heat of passion. Each increase in bondage that My locks assure gives My heart a rush of adrenaline.
Having total control of My slave_and his responses excites Me beyond reason. My pleasure is emotional as well as physical. The stimulation of My intellect while taking him wherever I choose brings Me to the Domme Space I love.
I feel the intensity of the honor he gives Me by placing his trust and devotion into My hands. Knowing he feels safe in My control while realizing I may take him places he prefers not to go. This trust and devotion feeds My lust for him.
Knowing that it is his need to submit to Me gives My power over him an increased meaning. For only through his gift do I receive. Knowing he submits for My pleasure_is an erotica of it's own kind. O/our mutual joy in D/s makes Domme Space and sub space the ultimate mutual gift we share.
Using My body to Dominate gives a different kind of pleasure than when I use My mind.. The sensations I experience are complexly mixed in both. One soon over rides the other. Ecstasy and agony!!!

Shadowsdream always comes closest to decribing how I feel. I think sometimes we must have been twins in another life.

Thanks, for articulating the mindset and emotions that the reality of skin to skin can bring.

Eb

 

[Shadowsdream]

Beautifully put, Shadowsdream. Thank you for sharing this with us, you have helped me to understand.

My pleasure...I hope you will enjoy your Lit BDSM journey along with the rest of U/us

 

[Shadowsdream]

Shadowsdream always comes closest to decribing how I feel. I think sometimes we must have been twins in another life.

Thanks, for articulating the mindset and emotions that the reality of skin to skin can bring.

Eb

I am still trying to figure out how We are related in this life ~~grin~~

 

[DVS]

What does it FEEL like?
When you spank a lily white set of buttocks is all about the erection and arousal or is there a "Domspace", a headspace that you float into?

Well, I do experience a sort of headspace feeling, in certain situations. When she is just the way I want her, naked and bound in just the position I desire...her vulnerable ass a perfect target (her ass is my favorite thing)...I sometimes can't believe my good fortune. Power rushes through me, because I know she can't get away. Then, my fun begins.

She is there for my pleasure, whether it be the zap of the violet wand, the smack of the paddle, or just my tormenting finger. And, when I torment her relentlessly, causing her to quiver and twitch, it adds to that feeling of power. I have control over what she feels, when she feels it and for how long. I control when she cums, and only I know when.

I play her like a musical instrument, taking her up to the edge time after time. She begs me to fuck her, her wetness dripping down her legs.

She has no idea what my plans are, nor for how long these plans are to last. Because of this, her time as my captive can seem like forever, if only 30 minutes or an hour in real time.

If blindfolded, she only knows my voice, or my touch, completely at my mercy to strum this sexual instrument to climax. As I said, only I know when this will happen. I take her to the edge of her climax again and again, until finally I know just what to do to make her cum.

She explodes in spasms, all of those pent up feelings now allowed to escape at once. To see her react this way, from my touch or at my command, is another power trip. She has been my toy to play with, to use and punish, torment and deny, until even I can't stand any more power.

When she cums, it is the supreme satisfaction. I have allowed her satisfaction, in return for her allowing me to use and torment her for my pleasure.

It may seem strange, but I don't always need to cum to feel satisfied. The sexual charge I get from this controlling experience is sometimes all I need.

And, there are times when I keep her naked and bound until she satisfies me with her mouth. She knows these are times when she won't be satisfied until I am. But, once I'm satisfied, my attention returns to her and we may start it all again.

When you say a word and your sub's lip begins to tremble, how does it really feel?

She doesn't tremble, but the look in her eyes is priceless. A little bit of a pout, with a touch of fear and a touch of pleading, almost as if to say "please don't hurt me", but she knows she has no control over what happens. I am in control of her, body and mind.

When you are both lying spent and exhausted and you are holding her close, bringing her out of subspace, what does it feel like? What compels you to do so rather than roll over and go to sleep?

I don't really know. Sometimes it is a lot of mental work to stay in control and watch for her safety, torment and pleasure all rolled up into one. But, there is something about the feeling of laying together, two sweaty bodies trying to catch their breath. Neither of us talking, because we can't. It's just the afterglow of it all, I guess. It would be a waste to sleep.

I really would love to find away to get inside the head of a Dominant.

So, tell all, please and thank you!

Did I tell too much?

 

[crazybbwgirl]

"She explodes in spasms, all of those pent up feelings now allowed to escape at once. To see her react this way, from my touch or at my command, is another power trip. She has been my toy to play with, to use and punish, torment and deny, until even I can't stand any more power"

Wow! That is the sexiest, hottest thing I've ever heard anybody say. You've got yourself a fan DVS........

 

[Ebonyfire]

I am still trying to figure out how We are related in this life ~~grin~~

It is scary isn't it?

 

[DVS]

"She explodes in spasms, all of those pent up feelings now allowed to escape at once. To see her react this way, from my touch or at my command, is another power trip. She has been my toy to play with, to use and punish, torment and deny, until even I can't stand any more power"

Wow! That is the sexiest, hottest thing I've ever heard anybody say. You've got yourself a fan DVS........

Thank you for the compliment!

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: I have always wanted to ask the Dominants....

Did I tell too much?

Gosh, no.

Thank you, DVS for posting. Your post was very helpful.

Umm and


*blush*

 

[cellis]

Re: Re: I have always wanted to ask the Dominants....

Did I tell too much?

Oh DVS! You never tell too much and I always enjoy your posts!




~s

 

[DVS]

Goodness! I think I'm going to give up writing stories and just start posting on threads. I have never had such feedback! Honestly!

Miss Taken...that AV of yours has me thinking nasty thoughts. A wiggling ass is my weakness. Even if it is a cartoon ass.

 

[MissTaken]

Goodness! I think I'm going to give up writing stories and just start posting on threads. I have never had such feedback! Honestly!

Miss Taken...that AV of yours has me thinking nasty thoughts. A wiggling ass is my weakness. Even if it is a cartoon ass.

Well, it was seriously a wonderful post and I hope to see more.


A new question for the Doms...

Is there a different headspace or excitement from different activities?

i.e. binding
giving your sub a non sexual task
her first experience with something, flogger, toys etc.

Or is the feeling within your BDSM scene pretty consistent to different degrees?

 

[DVS]

Well, it was seriously a wonderful post and I hope to see more.


A new question for the Doms...

Is there a different headspace or excitement from different activities?

i.e. binding
giving your sub a non sexual task
her first experience with something, flogger, toys etc.

Or is the feeling within your BDSM scene pretty consistent to different degrees?

I don't think there are different feelings, but they are different degrees. The first of anything is a special time. You can explain all you want, but she isn't going to know for sure until she experiences it. To me, that is a good thing, if not totally selfish.

I can honestly explain something to the best of my knowledge, but she will not know until she feels it. So, the looks she gives me are special.

As an example, I let her feel the violet wand on her finger at different levels before she felt it on her sensitive areas. She didn't think it was too bad, but when naked and bound (and after I had played with her mind a little), it was a different story. The situation she's in does have an effect.

I have a homeade toy I am very proud of. I call it my punishment chair. It is sort of an electric chair with pazzazz. I can't go into much detail because it stars in an upcoming story. No, she doesn't like that chair. And, to her dismay, I love it. I save it for those special times.

I think there is a special feeling I get when I make her sit in that chair. Again, her facial expressions are special, but after she is in that chair for a while, I bet I could get her to agree to ANYTHING just to get out of it.

It isn't brutal, but it does involve DC electrical current. She doesn't care for electricity, and I understand that. And, she knows I won't really harm her. Most of the chair experience is mental.

She is naked and strapped in it, and I have the button in my hand. I pleasure her with kisses and licks of my tongue, biting her neck and ears. I whisper into her ear, telling her how naughty she has been and ask her if she deserves to be where she is. You can surely guess the answers I get. I nibble on her nipples and finger her clit, making her wet and wanting. Then, at an unsuspecting time, I push the button. This sort of thing can go on for a while. See why she doesn't like it?

It is a momentary shock, not continuous. And it is DC current so it won't hurt her. But, the more she sweats the more it conducts current. I know how to make her sweat.

~DISCLAIMER~
NEVER mess with AC current. Only play with DC current or static, as with a violet wand. AC is house current and it WILL kill you. Also, don't mess with any electrical play around your heart, unless you have the proper type of equipment and you know what you are doing. The heart beats because of a small electrical stimulant within the body. You can disrupt this electrical stimulant and stop your heart. I think we all agree this would be a bad thing. Electrical play can be a lot of fun, but if you don't know what you are doing, bad things can happen.
~DISCLAMER~

The first time she was flogged and caned, she was more concerned because she had seen pictures of vicious punishments. It took some time to explain to her some of those pictures are touched up, and some are very much masochists. And, I am NOT into blood, which she is thankful for. I don't like to hit hard enough to break the skin. Maybe that is why I like electoplay so much. It gives you a charge and doesn't show after.

I guess when it comes down to it, I don't feel any differently, but there are extremes in my feelings, for sure. A lot of how I feel depends on her. The questions she asks, and her facial expressions or body language tells a lot. And, she isn't capable of lying. She will get beet red, if she does. This also works in my favor.

OOPS! Edited for spelling.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

ok ok - uncle - you win already. I' m sitting here at work and I can barely stand it! gotta run to the bathroom and take care of something real quick.........

 

[DVS]

ok ok - uncle - you win already. I' m sitting here at work and I can barely stand it! gotta run to the bathroom and take care of something real quick.........

Isn't it funny how we sometimes have to pay for our sexuality? And, sometimes at the most inopportune times, too. Life has such interesting little twists, doesn't it.
Glad I could be of service, sweetie.

 

[Ebonyfire]

~DISCLAIMER~

NEVER mess with AC current. Only play with DC current or static, as with a violet wand. AC is house current and it WILL kill you. Also, don't mess with any electrical play around your heart, unless you have the proper type of equipment and you know what you are doing. The heart beats because of a small electrical stimulant within the body. You can disrupt this electrical stimulant and stop your heart. I think we all agree this would be a bad thing. Electrical play can be a lot of fun, but if you don't know what you are doing, bad things can happen.
~DISCLAMER~

Which is why I stay away from electricity. But that is Me.

Eb

 

[kayte]

Goodness! I think I'm going to give up writing stories and just start posting on threads. I have never had such feedback! Honestly!

Miss Taken...that AV of yours has me thinking nasty thoughts. A wiggling ass is my weakness. Even if it is a cartoon ass.

DVS ~ Your posting on the thread got my attention and I checked out and voted a 5 on all of your stories. You are a marvelous writer. Thank You.

 

[DVS]

DVS ~ Your posting on the thread got my attention and I checked out and voted a 5 on all of your stories. You are a marvelous writer. Thank You.

No, Thank YOU, for the marvelous feedback.

 

[exiledmaster]

Apologies for coming late to the debate, an dmaybe for answering questions that i think others have already answered more successfully. I think there are two questions lurking inder all this, but I can only answer them by talking about my experiences, and how I approach BDSM.
I'm a former semi professional sportsman; when you're in a boxing ring or on the field your mind has to go to a place where only the co-ordination of the physical matters. You're acutely aware of what teammmates and opponents might be thinking, but only because it impacts on the physical outcome.
I got a lot better at sport when a team mate taught me how to get my mind into that place where only the event mattered, so that nothing intruded. That mindset is a geat place to be when BDSM is on the agenda, and the same mental tricks that worked in the sports arena work in the playroom for me..
I've been in BDSM scenes where I've loved my playmate(s), and I've been in scenes where it's been about sex and nothing else. If it's a loving scene then the mental aspect is greatly enhanced, but only because you have an afterwards to think about; my sub's rules today may not be the same as tomorrow's rules, and the way I conduct the scene helps decide that. In a non-loving scene there are only today's rules. Either way, you still have to go into the mental mindset, but it's a bit like the difference between team sports and individual sports. In a boxing match the competitor only has to win; there is no tomorrow. In a team sport you have to nurture and help team mates, and keep the team together no matter what the outcome. I think what I'm saying is that in a loving BDSM relationship you need to keep your antennae acutely yuned to not just the scene, but it's aftermath.
I know that's not quite an answer to the question about dom/me space, but for me, unless I can get myself into the mindset that says only the physical event matters, that shuts down outside concerns, then I won't play. A distracted dom/me is not the kind of playmate I want to be, and it's a distinctive enough mindset that I suppose I could call it my dom space.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Apologies for coming late to the debate, an dmaybe for answering questions that i think others have already answered more successfully. I think there are two questions lurking inder all this, but I can only answer them by talking about my experiences, and how I approach BDSM.
I'm a former semi professional sportsman; when you're in a boxing ring or on the field your mind has to go to a place where only the co-ordination of the physical matters. You're acutely aware of what teammmates and opponents might be thinking, but only because it impacts on the physical outcome.
I got a lot better at sport when a team mate taught me how to get my mind into that place where only the event mattered, so that nothing intruded. That mindset is a geat place to be when BDSM is on the agenda, and the same mental tricks that worked in the sports arena work in the playroom for me..
I've been in BDSM scenes where I've loved my playmate(s), and I've been in scenes where it's been about sex and nothing else. If it's a loving scene then the mental aspect is greatly enhanced, but only because you have an afterwards to think about; my sub's rules today may not be the same as tomorrow's rules, and the way I conduct the scene helps decide that. In a non-loving scene there are only today's rules. Either way, you still have to go into the mental mindset, but it's a bit like the difference between team sports and individual sports. In a boxing match the competitor only has to win; there is no tomorrow. In a team sport you have to nurture and help team mates, and keep the team together no matter what the outcome. I think what I'm saying is that in a loving BDSM relationship you need to keep your antennae acutely yuned to not just the scene, but it's aftermath.
I know that's not quite an answer to the question about dom/me space, but for me, unless I can get myself into the mindset that says only the physical event matters, that shuts down outside concerns, then I won't play. A distracted dom/me is not the kind of playmate I want to be, and it's a distinctive enough mindset that I suppose I could call it my dom space.

The answer was wonderful and added a dimension seldom mentioned...I look forward to hearing more from You in the ongoing discussions...
Welcome!

 

[Ebonyfire]

<snip> but for me, unless I can get myself into the mindset that says only the physical event matters, that shuts down outside concerns, then I won't play. A distracted dom/me is not the kind of playmate I want to be, and it's a distinctive enough mindset that I suppose I could call it my dom space.

I really enjoyed your post. Sometimes it is amazing to realize how much energy is expended in concentration.

Eb

 

[WynEternal]

I really enjoyed your post. Sometimes it is amazing to realize how much energy is expended in concentration.

Eb

I agree, Eb. Mistress and I used to talk about how much a scene would take out of her, both physically and mentally. A long one can be very draining. I'm learning a bit of that for myself now too.

 

[Lancecastor]

What does it FEEL like?

When you spank a lily white set of buttocks is all about the erection and arousal or is there a "Domspace", a headspace that you float into?

When you say a word and your sub's lip begins to tremble, how does it really feel?

When you are both lying spent and exhausted and you are holding her close, bringing her out of subspace, what does it feel like? What compels you to do so rather than roll over and go to sleep?


I really would love to find away to get inside the head of a Dominant.

So, tell all, please and thank you!

The combination of arousal, control, positive reinforcement and the knowledge that your every move sends trembles of pleasure through your submissive's being is all highly gratifying.

Having her beg for her spankings, pleading to suck your cock even just for a moment...

Seeing her quiver and orgasm repeatedly before you've even entered her....

The visuals of her bound, blindfolded, shaved, clamped, on display, her ass up high...

Finally plunging in hard, fast and deep...she's mine.

It all adds up to great sex and a genuine bond that transcends the ordinary.

Yum.

Lance

 

[SierraMoon]

What wonderful responses to this thread... Does anyone have anything to add??

 

[DVS]

What wonderful responses to this thread... Does anyone have anything to add??

It's nice and also interesting to see this thread revived. And, I would think others would also be glad this thread has been reivived.

Didn't all of the questions get answered? If not, which ones?

And, if all of the questions have been answered, just ask some more.