I have read a lot about the sexless marriage

[OldnCurious]

It wasn't always sexless for me, but ever since my wife went through menapause it months between love making.

 

[conoflex]

Menopause done it for my Mrs ,it's once in a while now ,she has lost her drive , it's difficult but that's life I suppose

 

[BrokenQuill]

As my wife started to lose interest in sex, I became more curious about my bi side. I had always had thoughts in the back of my mind, but since mid 20's I hadnt really acted in them. I started chatting on forums and then eventually meeting up with guys every now and again.

I dont get much of an opportunity to gt out as much as I used to now. Lockdown and the change in working habits has changed that, but I have more of a desire for cock than ussy these days.

 

[muycurioso]

No not at all. I get the feeling that if I touch her I make her skin crawl.

She makes me feel like I disgust her.

I know man I felt like hugging my ex was like hugging a porcupine. I didnt want a divorce. oh well

 

[muycurioso]

For me, it’s a long process. When I married my wife I was working (also retired) at a phone company. Even though they claimed overtime was not mandatory, we were required to stay until that day’s work was complete. I really didn’t think about it until we got married, but there were more overtime days than not. As a maintenance splicer, I worked anywhere from 10 to 20 hours a week overtime. My wife had a child from a former marriage, I had a kid from a former marriage, the we had one together. The job started taking its toll on my body and sex started slowing down. Once I turned 50, my body starts fighting back. I had back fusion surgery, foot surgery, ending with my ankle being fused, wrist fusion, another back injury, colon resection. Then in 2014 I started having health issues the doctors didn’t find until 6 months later. It was what they call Parkinson-isms ( I have 4 of the symptoms.) One of which is ED. I can still get about 90% hard if I really work at it and I can still have an orgasm from masturbating, but I start losing my erection from the start and it’s usually about 50% hard at finish. So, my wife accepts it, but still expects me to give her oral, but won’t even attempt to return the favor. I had two close call M2M experiences when I was young and curiosity has always been on back burner. I don’t know if I could suck a cock, but to experience a cock in my mouth, pulsing as it’s releasing it’s load really peaks my senses! But I live in a part of Texas that makes it hard to find someone along with trying to keep this from my wife, I just get by with fantasizing on Lit.

I know man, I worked in a very physical factory job for 19 years, served 4 years in the USMC (a long time ago) and worked on cars and construction. My body is not so hot either(54). Pain killers numb everything, not just pain.

 

[Britva415]

with mine it was the beginning of the end. My Q is for the sexless men ---- Is your wife stll affectionate to you. kissing, hugs, lay together in bed, ect

A thing which can happen in a sexless marriage (ask me how I know) is that when the mismatch of desire for sex becomes an issue, it can ruin other forms of contact.

The less-sexual partner can start feeling like they have to avoid creating contact because there will be a sexual response.

The more-sexual partner can start feeling like they have to avoid creating contact because there will be a defensive response.

So they dance around each other for a long time avoiding forms of contact which aren't necessarily sexual and don't have to lead to sex, and they grow even further apart, and the sex issue becomes even harder, and more than just sex is now among the problems.

There is a solution, which is to agree with each other to take sex 100% off the table for some period of time, like agree to not have sex no matter what, in order to reset the other forms of connection to a non-threatening and healthy level.

In order to do this, the couple have to both be prepared to communicate effectively and reassure each other of their commitment and their sincere desire to improve the relationship. So it's almost like the taking-sex-off-the-table idea isn't even really the thing which yields results. It's just a way of kickstarting a process of repair.

But it definitely creates freedom to approach each other affectionately again, which has enormous benefits in other areas of communication, trust, intimacy and healing/repair.

My Q is for the sexless men ---- Is your wife stll

Why's this in GLBT Chatter again?

Anyway.

 

[Britva415]

My situation is the old saying " It's cheaper to keep her "

That sounds sad as hell but maybe there are other positives? I wouldn't stay if money were the only glue.

 

[klippert]

with mine it was the beginning of the end. My Q is for the sexless men ---- Is your wife stll affectionate to you. kissing, hugs, lay together in bed, ect

Yes

 

[PleasePeesMe]

As my wife started to lose interest in sex, I became more curious about my bi side. I had always had thoughts in the back of my mind, but since mid 20's I hadnt really acted in them. I started chatting on forums and then eventually meeting up with guys every now and again.

I dont get much of an opportunity to gt out as much as I used to now. Lockdown and the change in working habits has changed that, but I have more of a desire for cock than ussy these days.

We're in the same boat. Can I suck your cock?

 

[muycurioso]

A thing which can happen in a sexless marriage (ask me how I know) is that when the mismatch of desire for sex becomes an issue, it can ruin other forms of contact.

The less-sexual partner can start feeling like they have to avoid creating contact because there will be a sexual response.

The more-sexual partner can start feeling like they have to avoid creating contact because there will be a defensive response.

So they dance around each other for a long time avoiding forms of contact which aren't necessarily sexual and don't have to lead to sex, and they grow even further apart, and the sex issue becomes even harder, and more than just sex is now among the problems.

There is a solution, which is to agree with each other to take sex 100% off the table for some period of time, like agree to not have sex no matter what, in order to reset the other forms of connection to a non-threatening and healthy level.

In order to do this, the couple have to both be prepared to communicate effectively and reassure each other of their commitment and their sincere desire to improve the relationship. So it's almost like the taking-sex-off-the-table idea isn't even really the thing which yields results. It's just a way of kickstarting a process of repair.

But it definitely creates freedom to approach each other affectionately again, which has enormous benefits in other areas of communication, trust, intimacy and healing/repair.


Why's this in GLBT Chatter again?

Anyway.

because many men have mentioned the sexless marriage and I wonder did all affection dry up too

 

[Tayloroc]

because many men have mentioned the sexless marriage and I wonder did all affection dry up too

We’re still affectionate but sex is rare

 

[Britva415]

Why's this in GLBT Chatter again?

because many men have mentioned the sexless marriage and I wonder did all affection dry up too

I still don't see what it's got to do with GLBT Chatter, since you're specifically asking men about their marriages to their wives.

Doesn't matter, you've gotten plenty of responses, mission accomplished.

 

[LeeKee]

Anymore, we are just roommates. More like live in neighbours. There is nothing. No contact, not even speaking. Taped down to this over the last 4 years. It like living with a corpse. I try to speak, anythingisaybit met with a hollow stare. She will knock over furniture to avoid even accidental contact. If it weren’t for the kids I’d say fuck this I’m out.

 

[towigl]

That you are having the hard conversations and being honest with one another is paramount. It might help to know that intimacy in the wholeness of our nature and expression, only has a few components that are physically expressed- it is the other ways in the relationship that tether/bind/connect us to one another. If you are constantly staying in that conscious awareness and being there for one another in the ways that you are genuinely able, and seeking the necessary data to determine the shifts and changes that she is experiencing, you are still likely to come through it even stronger together. While we may want to be everything to one another in our relationships, that in no way indicates that the threat to that "everything" exists in changes in the ways that we go about certain things. Women tend to have a focus and need on the non-physical as a doorway TO the physical, so the very possible potential future for you both, even should your physical opportunities change or remain more limited than you would like, you will be no less happy OR committed to one another as you weather the changes and find your solution. Being there for her is everything, even if/when you are not getting what you would like or think you need in this moment. It is quite likely that she feels terrible and misses the physicality that you once had as well... and is blaming herself for what is something she cannot even control, aging and her body. If you stay focused on one another and maintain your loving tether, you will find a way. Be sure to let her know that her value and worth to you far exceeds the sexual aspects of your loving relationship. Keep showing up for one another (seeking to give, rather than get) and know that you can find your way- together!!

She is from a culture that sticks through it thick or thin. She will always stand behind her husband. She would be worried more about another woman than ever thinking that her husband was was fooling around with a man

 

[mtsnowrider]

I've gone for a massage (a legitimate one) just so I could feel someone touch my body.

A sexless marriage is a cold, lonely existence

Know what you mean. It's like having a friendly roommate. Comfortable but lacking

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

Same bed, but she can barely walk, comes to bed with clothes on, rarely will snuggle..arthritis of spine, but brain dying also......

Sorry to hear the state your wife is in... stay with and help her and, enjoy the time together while they still last. That is the real measure of love.

 

[Tayloroc]

Know what you mean. It's like having a friendly roommate. Comfortable but lacking

That was well put. Sad but true: a friendly roommate

 

[KentBloke]

Sorry to hear the state your wife is in... stay with and help her and, enjoy the time together while they still last. That is the real measure of love.

Mine has advanced arthritis too (wheelchair outside the house, etc) and is also showing signs of memory loss/mood swings. We have been sexless for about a decade due to her pain levels. We used to very active and had great times in the bedroom... or any other room LOL
I have also had my problems arising from following ambulances with her in them and being told on two separate occasions that I might not get to take her home (long story but sepsis covers it) so depression and a form of PTSD messed up my drive for a while. Nowadays, I am permanently bloody horny while she spends a lot of time asleep due to the pain medication and constant exhaustion for the fact that they don't really work that well.
Having said all that, I am not going anywhere and would happily take a bullet instead of her if that ever arose.
That is the bit that hurts the most! She is still the woman I love (and want to love) but she is slowly fading away in front of me...

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

Mine has advanced arthritis too (wheelchair outside the house, etc) and is also showing signs of memory loss/mood swings. We have been sexless for about a decade due to her pain levels. We used to very active and had great times in the bedroom... or any other room LOL
I have also had my problems arising from following ambulances with her in them and being told on two separate occasions that I might not get to take her home (long story but sepsis covers it) so depression and a form of PTSD messed up my drive for a while. Nowadays, I am permanently bloody horny while she spends a lot of time asleep due to the pain medication and constant exhaustion for the fact that they don't really work that well.
Having said all that, I am not going anywhere and would happily take a bullet instead of her if that ever arose.
That is the bit that hurts the most! She is still the woman I love (and want to love) but she is slowly fading away in front of me...

You have your priorities in the right place and know whats more important my friend

 

[Tayloroc]

You have your priorities in the right place and know whats more important my friend

That is so true!

 

[slavecaro]

I was looking at this thread because I am trying to write a story about kinky sex after menopause where the wife has no sex drive (sexless marriage) but the couple is still trying to be kinky, intimate and monogamous. It's proving difficult, because obviously kink requires effort and effort is difficult if you are not interested. Has anyone found ways to stay kinky and intimate even though you are not having intercourse?

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/menopause-story-ideas.1583032/

 

[FeelingLikeMyself]

No not at all. I get the feeling that if I touch her I make her skin crawl.

She makes me feel like I disgust her.

I have the same problem. She doesn't realize it, but she cringes when I try to touch her, and I get rebuffed with excuses when I make other overtures. I noticed that she was pulling away when she only wanted me to masturbate with and would say in a bored voice after her orgasm, "I'm done. Are you almost finished?" Not once did I after that started. There's a lot more. I just thank God we don't have any kids.



I might talk about my wife a lot on here, but we've had sex 2 times in 6 years and can count on two hands how many times we've had sex since we married 12 years ago. Almost always when I'm referring to my wife on here, I'm referring to the whatever woman I'm seeing at the time, or had a particular experience with.


I started getting out and meeting people last summer. It turns out that I'm not broken and people are still awesome. I was honest with everyone I met and described the situation as best as I could and almost everyone flagged it an emotionally abusive relationship. I finally listened to a close mutual friend who was going through something similar. They filed for divorce a week later. I'm filing on Friday.



I'm now seeing a wonderful woman who not only knows about my bisexuality and all the details that go with it, she thinks it's hot. Things are looking up.



Now to get through divorcing someone who I thought was my best friend. This is going to suck.

 

[PinkPanties4me]

I was looking at this thread because I am trying to write a story about kinky sex after menopause where the wife has no sex drive (sexless marriage) but the couple is still trying to be kinky, intimate and monogamous. It's proving difficult, because obviously kink requires effort and effort is difficult if you are not interested. Has anyone found ways to stay kinky and intimate even though you are not having intercourse?

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/menopause-story-ideas.1583032/

My wife and I are in our late 60’s . I am also very much interested in wearing lingerie, which my wife has purchased for me in the past…as we have gotten older , her sex drive and mine are not as active as when we were in our 30’s to to our 50’s…however, I still dress up in my lingerie and she will accommodate my need for kinky sex ( use of a dildo , etc). And we can‘t have intercourse because of her vagina being very dry.
She also developer other female issues (endometriosis) , hence no intercourse.
But enough explanations…
While dressed in my fem mode (panties, thigh highes, camisole and wig) , I love to preform oral sex on her till she is satisfied ….I then put the dildo between her legs, while pretending it’s real and bring myself off…
Not like it used to be, but sexually satisfying for both of us…

 

[Tayloroc]

My wife and I are in our late 60’s . I am also very much interested in wearing lingerie, which my wife has purchased for me in the past…as we have gotten older , her sex drive and mine are not as active as when we were in our 30’s to to our 50’s…however, I still dress up in my lingerie and she will accommodate my need for kinky sex ( use of a dildo , etc). And we can‘t have intercourse because of her vagina being very dry.
She also developer other female issues (endometriosis) , hence no intercourse.
But enough explanations…
While dressed in my fem mode (panties, thigh highes, camisole and wig) , I love to preform oral sex on her till she is satisfied ….I then put the dildo between her legs, while pretending it’s real and bring myself off…
Not like it used to be, but sexually satisfying for both of us…

You two have adapted well! I wish my wife would let us follow a similar path

 

[AlexBailey]

I was looking at this thread because I am trying to write a story about kinky sex after menopause where the wife has no sex drive (sexless marriage) but the couple is still trying to be kinky, intimate and monogamous. It's proving difficult, because obviously kink requires effort and effort is difficult if you are not interested. Has anyone found ways to stay kinky and intimate even though you are not having intercourse?

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/menopause-story-ideas.1583032/

I love being penetrated, it’s a major part of my sexuality. Unfortunately, though my wife likes doing it for the sake of making me feel good, it’s not really her thing.

As the throws of middle age have wracked havoc on her libido, she’s been less inclined to put much energy into pleasing me. Rather than being an enthusiastic intimate partner, it’s been more like she ‘tolerates’ most of my affection. When she does get in the mood she’s been much more into laying back and letting me do her.

The result is that I’m feeling like a pest unless just I take care of myself… but I don’t really do myself in a normal ‘guy’ way. I’ve never made myself orgasm by jerking off, but rather much more like many women do themselves.

I think it’s as a result of this that I hadn’t been getting nearly as hard nor nearly as often as I used to, and even if I did, the best that would come of it was me putting out all of the energy so she could come, then I’d be unsatisfied and would have to go finish myself later, it was kind of a matter of “Yeah? What’s the point?”

For a while I wasn’t getting hard even if she grabbed my cock and sucked on it…. and I’d nearly stopped getting morning wood. I was having dreams about getting fucked by different guys I know and waking up to a sad reality.

It was getting bleak until a few weeks ago.

Then one night, something got into her while I was asleep - and she got into my ass! Grabbing me, fingering me, sticking a thumb in me and squeezing and rubbing my taint while stroking and tugging my cock… I finally got incredibly hard and turned on. She made me orgasm by just jerking and fingering me.

Ever since then I’ve been back to my normal self - wood every morning and hard and ready with the slightest attention.


No need for little blue pills…. yet.