I need a tough critique...

[BooMerengue]

Thanks Fern, and all of you! This helped me- not to change my poem, but to see how others may read a poem.

I've decided to leave this one alone. It is very personal to me, and to change it I think would still be pointless. Besides, it's not like The New Yorker is waiting breathlessly for me... lol

I have found one serendipitous thing, tho. I had no idea how symbolic this poem is to me until long after I had written it. And I think one symbol is the very minimalism of the poem itself. The event this poem describes was/is a very minimal moment in my life. The entire affair began and ended one January very long ago. To enrich the work would be to enrich the event- and it's not important enough.

Thanks all of you for sharing! I hope I can return the favor! Just ask...

 

[foehn]

Entirely valid decision, my dear Boo. Good reasons.

Now, tell me all about ol'e T. T. Hall. Send me his address! LOL

 

[BooMerengue]

Ol' Tom lives over in Lieper's Fork. I haven't seen him in 20 years. I'm sure he wouldn't remember me! But if I ever run across him again I'll be sure to tell him Texas Fern says Hi!

 

[foehn]

Aw hell, I thought you were a nubile creature only 20 years old; you wouldn't remember him if that were so.

 

[BooMerengue]

good grief...












lmao