Ignoring as a punishment.

[Homburg]

Not really since we've all pretty much agreed that controlled "time-outs" where the sub knows exactly how long its going to last are okay.

Shit, I wouldn't say that. Someone is bound to disagree when you say stuff like that.

Its just not nearly as interesting to discuss that. i guess we could ask Homburg if he thinks its okay to make controlled "time-outs" a Hard Limit. i think maybe you could argue it is in the same way a sub might say you can't put me in a cage. In that case it may not be a valid Hard Limit for him but could be valid in another D/s couple.

Yep, and yes. I'd say it is a valid hard limit because it is very specific. I see hard limits kind of checklist like. Here is a list of Things I Can Not Do. Given that I am unlikely to carry said list around on a piece of paper, making it simple, concise, and unambiguous is a pretty good idea IMO.

The question as to whether or not I would personally accept it as a hard limit is a different story.I'm generally of the opinion that hard limits should be bloody serious things, and are usually based on psychological issues, trauma, physical issues, etc. I'd have a hard time with someone for whom a time-out is some sort of trigger. It would take some explaining, and would likely be indicative of other emotional landmines.

I played with a girl once that said no spanking. My first thought was "Well, somebody is pain-averse". I was wrong (shock) as it turned out that she was spanked a lot as a kid and spankings were a depression trigger for her as they brought back bad memories. She was happy for me to do damned near anything else, and wasn't even touchy about things that were similar to spankings. It was just spankings. The point to this is that communication was the key here, as it would be in a case where someone said "Hard limit: No Time Out"

i agree with what many have said here. You can't make being a shitty Dominant a Hard Limit. The Dominant may not know they are shitty or even what being a shitty Dominant is. Your only recourse there is to try to educate your shitty Dominant or leave.

Yup, ain't that the truth...

----

Put a positive spin on it Dude:

You are a Man of Your convictions

Well, of course I am. I am a man of my acquittals too.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Shit, I wouldn't say that. Someone is bound to disagree when you say stuff like that.

Attention is attention.

 

[Homburg]

Attention is attention.

Okay, that's just hot.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Okay, that's just hot.

Watch, next week i'll be paralyzed with shyness and not post a thing.

 

[subbie_333]

Okay, that's just hot.

( raises eyebrow again )

Going to Paris Hilton for our pop culture, are we?

Redeem yourself by telling us what you wanna do to her (and "ignoring as punishment" is not an option)

 

[Homburg]

( raises eyebrow again )

Going to Paris Hilton for our pop culture, are we?

Redeem yourself by telling us what you wanna do to her (and "ignoring as punishment" is not an option)

Uh, what's Paris Hilton about that?

Note: I don't watch TV, so my exposure to Paris Hilton comes largely from various photos of her in states of supposedly unintentional undress.

 

[subbie_333]

Uh, what's Paris Hilton about that?

Note: I don't watch TV, so my exposure to Paris Hilton comes largely from various photos of her in states of supposedly unintentional undress.

Should we believe him people?!?!?!?

 

[minx1]

Maybe this is the problem with this entire thread. What you have stated here is my understanding of IGNORING AS PUNISHMENT. Yet, this thread has been *FILLED* with all sorts of other things that has gotten just about everybody's panties in a wad - basically off-topic as far as i am concerned.



Abuse is bad, and, we don't approve of it (but, off-topic to this thread)

Neglect is bad, and, we don't approve of it (but, off-topic to this thread)

Some people are ignorant, and, some of those people choose not to change (but, off-topic to this thread)

Most if not all people are damaged in some manner, and, some need professional help (but, mostly off-topic to this thread)

Everybody is different, meaning that many wonderful people are not a good match for each other (maybe on-topic to this thread)




So, if it is possible that we might not be able to agree to disagree, can we at least agree what is on-topic for this thread?!?!?!!?


.

Lol but actually most of what you have said isn't off topic in mine and other opinions. Its very much on topic.

Whether ignoring as a punishment should be used carte blanche or whether there are circumstances when its just not appropriate.

Now my panties are firmly untwisted

 

[ataxia.girl]

various photos of her in states of supposedly unintentional undress.

man.... that DOES sound like me

 

[minx1]

The question as to whether or not I would personally accept it as a hard limit is a different story.I'm generally of the opinion that hard limits should be bloody serious things, and are usually based on psychological issues, trauma, physical issues, etc. [/I]

like um, previous experiences of abuse?

Just sayin *grins*

 

[subbie_333]

Lol but actually most of what you have said isn't off topic in mine and other opinions. Its very much on topic.

Whether ignoring as a punishment should be used carte blanche or whether there are circumstances when its just not appropriate.

Geez, i give up. Y'all go ahead and kill each other. i got no reason to come back in here

 

[minx1]

I am totally convincable!

"Convincable" looks wrong. Might have something to do with the fact that I've never once typed that word out... Nah.

Put a positive spin on it Dude:

You are a Man of Your convictions

lmao

Homborg you are about as convincable on this matter as I am lol. We are both sat very firmly in our entrenched positions! lol

I always have an internal argument with myself, that usually goes along the lines of; you know if you post that it might not go down well....yup, but then you have to have the courage of your convictions....um sheesh, I guess *sigh*

Sometimes keeping my mouth shut would mean such an easier life but I can't seem to sell myself out

Anyway debate is good.

 

[minx1]

Geez, i give up. Y'all go ahead and kill each other. i got no reason to come back in here

But if we killed eachother who would we all disagree with? *giggles*

Nah killing is a hard limit of mine. It stifles debate.

 

[intothewoods]

Should we believe him people?!?!?!?

Lol.

That's hot!

 

[Homburg]

man.... that DOES sound like me

You're just trying to turn guys like me on, aren'tcha?

---

like um, previous experiences of abuse?

Just sayin *grins*

Cheeky wench. You took that quote out of context and you know it.

I always have an internal argument with myself, that usually goes along the lines of; you know if you post that it might not go down well....yup, but then you have to have the courage of your convictions....um sheesh, I guess *sigh*

Sometimes keeping my mouth shut would mean such an easier life but I can't seem to sell myself out

Anyway debate is good.

I do almost exactly the same thing, down to using the phrase courage of my convictions internally as well.

 

[minx1]

Cheeky wench. You took that quote out of context and you know it.

*giggles* ooh I might use that quote!

I like being a wench


but it was so in context

*whistles innocently*

 

[girlofurdreams]

one of the worst things a PYL could do in MHO would be to ignore their pyl for no reason at all.... especially in a LDR when communication is so damn important. i believe it would make any pyl start to question the whole relationship...


but what would i know?????????

 

[Hisscarlett]

this in my opinion is one of the most severe punishments

thankfully my Master has only had cause to use it on very few occasions

when He does use it He makes sure i understand why it is being used - ie what i have done/not done - and then sends me to bed

it is not a case of Him ignoring my existent - because that would be unbearable - but more a case of Him sending me from His presence and not allowing me to be near Him which is what i crave at all times

i have to say that on the few times it was used i learnt the lesson very well - and have not repeated the mistake

Master always took time after the period of sending me away from Him to make sure i knew i was forgiven and that the situation was dealt with and now forgotten

it definitely is not a punishment that i would like to see used on anyone with abandonment or self esteem issues but it is very effective if used wisely by a Master who knows their slave/sub well