I'm having a lesbian affair...with a married woman

[LaotianLass]

Lass,

For better or worse, your affair brought a whole host of issues out into the open for your lover and her husband.

It might have been better in the short term to keep it all secret but this was likely inevitable.

I know the emotional roller coaster is tiring and exhausting but I think you have two options...jump on, quench your passion and know that it's going to be an unpredictable journey or jump fully off.

Dont think there is any in between.

We're all rooting for you and your happiness.

Thank you

 

[LaotianLass]

You did the right thing by letting her in, even if the evening hadn't ended the way it did. Nothing is accomplished by shutting someone whom you care about out of your life. Be patient. Whether it works its way out the way you want it to or not, this is going to take some time to work itself out. In the meantime take some time to think logically about the possible outcomes and try to prepare yourself for either outcome.

 

[LaotianLass]

So...

He wants to have a meeting, the three of us. According to her, he's not angry now but wants us all to talk about it.

She says he seems willing to let us "see each other" but there would be "conditions."

She is asking me to hear him out.

I think i will. I don't know what this is all about.

They want to talk tonight.

 

[LaotianLass]

He spends a lot of time in New York. She told me last night, that he said he has "something casual" with a woman there.

 

[LaotianLass]

So I told her I would hear him/them out. Meeting at their place at 7:00 for dinner.

 

[Kissjoanie]

I have a feeling that he wants to fuck you too.

 

[reddogapocalypse2]

I hope it works out so well for you!

 

[ConsiderateBeast]

I have a feeling that he wants to fuck you too.

We're simple creatures.

 

[MiaDani80]

Stay strong Lass! We got you!

 

[LaotianLass]

I have a feeling that he wants to fuck you too.

Really?

Others have said that too. Would someone do that?

I think it will be more like, he gets to see the woman in NYC and Geneva gets to see me, when he's out of town?

 

[LaotianLass]

I mean. I think they still love each other, she says they do. She says they agree they don't want to get a divorce.

 

[LaotianLass]

Am I being totally naive here?

 

[LaotianLass]

I guess I should be thinking, what do I want out of this? Or do I even get a say?

I guess I want some kind of blessing from him to spend time with her. Ok, I mean to FUCK her

And if he wants her blessing to have a girlfriend in NYC. Do I care about that, if she says it's ok?

 

[LaotianLass]

That is always possible but until you talk you can never be sure.

Yes that's true. I guess that's why I'm agreeing to meet. My brain says walk away. My body and my heart would agree to anything to keep her in my life.

So I need to know what is possible.

 

[LaotianLass]

I'm so nervous.

He's very, whats the word

Charismatic? Powerful presence? He intimidates me

 

[LaotianLass]

You are a positive person trying to be positive in a tough confusing situation. Just keep your head and think things over before you commit to anything.

Thank you

 

[LaotianLass]

He's a deal maker. He negotiates. I'm just me.

 

[ConsiderateBeast]

Very true. Also, what are you negotiating for?

Do you want her to leave him?

If so, do you want to have her exclusively and drop Rico (and any others)?

 

[LaotianLass]

Very true. Also, what are you negotiating for?

Do you want her to leave him?

If so, do you want to have her exclusively and drop Rico (and any others)?

No. I don't think so. I'm not sure.

I don't want her to leave him, unless she wants to. I won't actively try to break up their marriage.

I don't need Rico or others if i have her. But. When she was gone with her husband I needed someone.

Maybe I need freedom too. If they both get freedom

 

[LaotianLass]

Ok say yeah. I am not to be tied down exclusively.

 

[LaotianLass]

That makes sense, right?

 

[ConsiderateBeast]

Yes. But negotiating generally requires clear objectives. Know your BATNA - the best alternative to negotiated agreement, or in other words, the point where you'll walk away. Try to know theirs.

 

[LaotianLass]

Yes. But negotiating generally requires clear objectives. Know your BATNA - the best alternative to negotiated agreement, or in other words, the point where you'll walk away. Try to know theirs.

I don't know it precisely. I haven't envisioned all the possibilities, I don't think. That puts, me in a position where I'm reactive, I guess.

 

[peterlickspussy]

I hope it is a good meeting. Three cheers for your passionate night.

Just don’t put your life on hold hoping something happens that might never happen.

Of course, he wants to fuck you!

 

[PB26385]

What a whirlwind of emotions. I would say what you do outside of seeing her is none of her husband's business. If you want to see a guy, that's between you and her to decide how open your relationship is, but not her husband. He doesn't get to control your life away from her. I would imagine his main condition would be no other guys with the two of you together...no FFM in their house. If he has other "conditions" that involve you doing something you don't want with him, that's a line you just don't cross. Sounds like he wants to have his cake both places.