I'm looking for more.
- Thread starter intrigued
- Start date
Ukin said:intrigued said:
Empty box, huh?? My dear, you said a mouthful.........
I said...more than a mouthful is a waste
Nice nylon and lace btw
Oh, no.....I would never, ever waste......
Thank you, my dear....that is so "me".
Dragonette
I am Dragon, make me purr
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2001
- Posts
- 6,295
Ta
I get frisky, then I pay for it!
This rotten flu, one step forward, then two back!
So my frisky moments are sadly lacking!
But I try, I do try!
LOL, I am very trying!
I get frisky, then I pay for it!
This rotten flu, one step forward, then two back!
So my frisky moments are sadly lacking!
But I try, I do try!
LOL, I am very trying!
Re: Ta
Oh, my......
Get well....may I ask what you are doing to speed the process?
Dragonette said:I get frisky, then I pay for it!
This rotten flu, one step forward, then two back!
So my frisky moments are sadly lacking!
But I try, I do try!
LOL, I am very trying!
Oh, my......
Get well....may I ask what you are doing to speed the process?
Dragon60
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2002
- Posts
- 333
Like you, I'm looking for similarly minded company. I have the same problems with dating scene, except being a guy, it's worse. Especially when I can't do teh chat up line stuff, I need to be introduced and then I can be witty and charming (well, sometimes).
I hope you meet Mr Right and it all goes the way you want. (now if only the Atlantic would dry up)
PS. Dragonette, I love your av Shame your in XXXX
I hope you meet Mr Right and it all goes the way you want. (now if only the Atlantic would dry up)
PS. Dragonette, I love your av
Shame your in XXXXDragon60 said:Like you, I'm looking for similarly minded company. I have the same problems with dating scene, except being a guy, it's worse. Especially when I can't do teh chat up line stuff, I need to be introduced and then I can be witty and charming (well, sometimes).
I hope you meet Mr Right and it all goes the way you want. (now if only the Atlantic would dry up)
PS. Dragonette, I love your av
Oh yes you CAN chat....and when you have some time, come back. I'll be happy to demonstrate for you.
Thanks for your sentiments, and I certainly wish you well, and in a timely manner, at that.
For me, it's getting right interesting. Most of all, I am learning to accept that often things happen in a needed way, that what I am experiencing is making me a stronger, healthier "me". The poor guys stands not a chance in hell of living though me....
Dragonette
I am Dragon, make me purr
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2001
- Posts
- 6,295
Shame for me to!
Pity you are on the other side of the world, but I like to make friends with draconian people, stay in touch!
Dragon60 said:Like you, I'm looking for similarly minded company. I have the same problems with dating scene, except being a guy, it's worse. Especially when I can't do teh chat up line stuff, I need to be introduced and then I can be witty and charming (well, sometimes).
I hope you meet Mr Right and it all goes the way you want. (now if only the Atlantic would dry up)
PS. Dragonette, I love your av
Pity you are on the other side of the world, but I like to make friends with draconian people, stay in touch!
kkceohcs
Sex is not about men
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2002
- Posts
- 6,724
hello
hello, I'm new please forgive me. I'm a 37 y/o male and searching for something to feel. Being married for 13 years to my 42 y/o wife that I love, to finally get her to tell me she doesn't need sex (just cuddling), even though she "loves" me. I thought it was me, a virgin (yes at 24) until our engagement (she was divorced with a 8y/o daughter (I am dad now)). I always focused on her pleasure "O" first. Yes, she assured me I was the first man to give her pleasure. She doesn't oral, to give or recieve, only 1 type (me on top). She has medical problems, I think its mental. The first marriage was loveless. She was in the man hating mode for years before I got to her. She just says she doesn't need it. I manually remove my stress twice daily. What am I to do? The thought of leaving is out. That " 'til death do us part", gets me. I am not good at the games of dating, and don't want to even go that direction. I'm sorry for the rambling random thoughts. I welcome any and all suggestions. Please be gentle, I'm romantic not rough. THANKS
hello, I'm new
please forgive me. I'm a 37 y/o male and searching for something to feel. Being married for 13 years to my 42 y/o wife that I love, to finally get her to tell me she doesn't need sex (just cuddling), even though she "loves" me. I thought it was me, a virgin (yes at 24) until our engagement (she was divorced with a 8y/o daughter (I am dad now)). I always focused on her pleasure "O" first. Yes, she assured me I was the first man to give her pleasure. She doesn't oral, to give or recieve, only 1 type (me on top). She has medical problems, I think its mental. The first marriage was loveless. She was in the man hating mode for years before I got to her. She just says she doesn't need it. I manually remove my stress twice daily. What am I to do? The thought of leaving is out. That " 'til death do us part", gets me. I am not good at the games of dating, and don't want to even go that direction. I'm sorry for the rambling random thoughts. I welcome any and all suggestions. Please be gentle, I'm romantic not rough. THANKS
Last edited:
Re: hello
First, are you the gentleman that emailed me? If so, you seem to already have a firm grasp on what you need to do...if not, pardon "my" rambling thoughts.
First, your wife has issues that truly need addressing. While it is you that will need to support her, it is she that will need to seek help. I understand where she is at, as I have lived there most of my adult life. One has to stomp that complacency in the ground, and need and desire more, for there to be any change. She has to be willing. And you have to be willing to pour your heart out to her, and not just once, but over and over. You apparently love her and are committed to her, so really, what other answer can there be for you, but her?
I have been frigid for about the last 5 years, and I finally decided that it had to end. I need intimacy, I need to make love. I need to feel as a woman should feel. After a year of alot of hard work addressing my issues, one of the nicest things that helped me alot was found right here at this site. I learned through reading the stories here, viewing pics and movies, and extremely compelling interactions with others, that oh yes...I can feel. For me, that is a tremendous gain. I wonder..if you dont mind terribly her playing on your stomping ground...if maybe your wife might also benefit in this manner? Can you see the two of you sitting together reading some of the erotica here...watching some of the movies? As a woman,. might I steer you to jlatinos movies in the Amateur Pics Feedback Forum?? This man is an artist...and he has sent me reeling...left me mindless, and oh my, has he changed my experience. I actually find myself playing his movies on "continous play". Just think about it. As I said, I have been there, and I know that if *I* can respond after living the icy existance I lived...there is plenty of hope for your wife. However, there probably should be alot of talking and improvements made before you attempt this, she just might be repulsed if you try this right off the bat. It takes time, and a true desire for change.
I wish you well, and and I hope your marriage grows and strengthens.
Connie
kkceohcs said:hello, I'm new
First, are you the gentleman that emailed me? If so, you seem to already have a firm grasp on what you need to do...if not, pardon "my" rambling thoughts.
First, your wife has issues that truly need addressing. While it is you that will need to support her, it is she that will need to seek help. I understand where she is at, as I have lived there most of my adult life. One has to stomp that complacency in the ground, and need and desire more, for there to be any change. She has to be willing. And you have to be willing to pour your heart out to her, and not just once, but over and over. You apparently love her and are committed to her, so really, what other answer can there be for you, but her?
I have been frigid for about the last 5 years, and I finally decided that it had to end. I need intimacy, I need to make love. I need to feel as a woman should feel. After a year of alot of hard work addressing my issues, one of the nicest things that helped me alot was found right here at this site. I learned through reading the stories here, viewing pics and movies, and extremely compelling interactions with others, that oh yes...I can feel. For me, that is a tremendous gain. I wonder..if you dont mind terribly her playing on your stomping ground...if maybe your wife might also benefit in this manner? Can you see the two of you sitting together reading some of the erotica here...watching some of the movies? As a woman,. might I steer you to jlatinos movies in the Amateur Pics Feedback Forum?? This man is an artist...and he has sent me reeling...left me mindless, and oh my, has he changed my experience. I actually find myself playing his movies on "continous play".
Just think about it. As I said, I have been there, and I know that if *I* can respond after living the icy existance I lived...there is plenty of hope for your wife. However, there probably should be alot of talking and improvements made before you attempt this, she just might be repulsed if you try this right off the bat. It takes time, and a true desire for change.I wish you well, and and I hope your marriage grows and strengthens.
Connie
Last edited:
Dragonette
I am Dragon, make me purr
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2001
- Posts
- 6,295
Wow, Connie!
I think you explained it perfectly!
I was called 'frigid' and my marriage was a disaster, which I blamed myself for. I was a virgin on my wedding night. We had been together for 3 years.
Many arguements when I said "no!"
But, on our wedding night, I expected...
I expected bells to ring, the earth to move, I expected something, as I had read in romance novels!
Nope, nothing like that at all, it hurt!
It was me, I should of felt, I should of done etc.
It took me years to work it out, I almost became a real drunk, because I let loose then!
I experimented, lets say it that way (politely) and I am shocked my daughter is the beautiful open lady she is. I had no idea what I was doing, I tried to bring her up, to be natuarl, yet I had to learn that myself!
Oh, I can blame many, my parents, my husband, the generation etc.
I can lay blame, and I did, but that does not help, it does not solve anything, it brings understanding eventually.
So, then I had to accept and move on!
Now I find my dreams are different, oh I do like romance, I want to be wined and dined!
But now I know, my strange wants, me dark dreams, well, they are normal!
I am normal!
I had to do it alone, not in a good way, to prove things to myself!
I almost destroyed myself and I am still shocked that my daughter is as beuatiful and happily married as she is!
Oh I went overboard sometimes. But I am lucky, I managed to pull myself out of it, and I now can accept myself, my sensuality, my dreams etc.
kkceohcs, I admire you, you have given.
But you two need to really talk!
Slowly, touching, asking, 'Does this feel nice?"
You two must try, she must be more open!
She sounds like she does need some counselling.
To give it the ultimate always, that is true caring, to give without expecting anything.
But..
It works both ways.
She MUST give also.
You have given her time, showed your love, you are still with her.
She must learn, otherwise it will end sadly.
Show her parts of Lit, find some stories she might romantically enjoy.
Talk together, be open, even logical about it.
Asking..
Do you like this?
Get her a vibrator and try it, asking, watching, even get her a bit drunk, so she can let loose!
Sadly the generation she and I were brought up in, was non sexual, and then, the sexual revolution, I think it went a bit overboard, it got very frightening!
You want to stay and love her, she must do her part, she really has no idea what she is missing out on!
It's a favour to her to show her the sensual erotic parts of "sex"
and when it is done with "love!"
Oh yes, she is missing out!
I had to learn it the hard way, I wish I knew then what I knew now!
Oh, I wish I had a man like you, loving and caring!
intrigued said:
First, are you the gentleman that emailed me? If so, you seem to already have a firm grasp on what you need to do...if not, pardon "my" rambling thoughts.
First, your wife has issues that truly need addressing. While it is you that will need to support her, it is she that will need to seek help. I understand where she is at, as I have lived there most of my adult life. One has to stomp that complacency in the ground, and need and desire more, for there to be any change. She has to be willing. And you have to be willing to pour your heart out to her, and not just once, but over and over. You apparently love her and are committed to her, so really, what other answer can there be for you, but her?
I have been frigid for about the last 5 years, and I finally decided that it had to end. I need intimacy, I need to make love. I need to feel as a woman should feel. After a year of alot of hard work addressing my issues, one of the nicest things that helped me alot was found right here at this site. I learned through reading the stories here, viewing pics and movies, and extremely compelling interactions with others, that oh yes...I can feel. For me, that is a tremendous gain. I wonder..if you dont mind terribly her playing on your stomping ground...if maybe your wife might also benefit in this manner? Can you see the two of you sitting together reading some of the erotica here...watching some of the movies? As a woman,. might I steer you to jlatinos movies in the Amateur Pics Feedback Forum?? This man is an artist...and he has sent me reeling...left me mindless, and oh my, has he changed my experience. I actually find myself playing his movies on "continous play".
I wish you well, and and I hope your marriage grows and strengthens.
Connie
I think you explained it perfectly!
I was called 'frigid' and my marriage was a disaster, which I blamed myself for. I was a virgin on my wedding night. We had been together for 3 years.
Many arguements when I said "no!"
But, on our wedding night, I expected...
I expected bells to ring, the earth to move, I expected something, as I had read in romance novels!
Nope, nothing like that at all, it hurt!
It was me, I should of felt, I should of done etc.
It took me years to work it out, I almost became a real drunk, because I let loose then!
I experimented, lets say it that way (politely) and I am shocked my daughter is the beautiful open lady she is. I had no idea what I was doing, I tried to bring her up, to be natuarl, yet I had to learn that myself!
Oh, I can blame many, my parents, my husband, the generation etc.
I can lay blame, and I did, but that does not help, it does not solve anything, it brings understanding eventually.
So, then I had to accept and move on!
Now I find my dreams are different, oh I do like romance, I want to be wined and dined!
But now I know, my strange wants, me dark dreams, well, they are normal!
I am normal!
I had to do it alone, not in a good way, to prove things to myself!
I almost destroyed myself and I am still shocked that my daughter is as beuatiful and happily married as she is!
Oh I went overboard sometimes. But I am lucky, I managed to pull myself out of it, and I now can accept myself, my sensuality, my dreams etc.
kkceohcs, I admire you, you have given.
But you two need to really talk!
Slowly, touching, asking, 'Does this feel nice?"
You two must try, she must be more open!
She sounds like she does need some counselling.
To give it the ultimate always, that is true caring, to give without expecting anything.
But..
It works both ways.
She MUST give also.
You have given her time, showed your love, you are still with her.
She must learn, otherwise it will end sadly.
Show her parts of Lit, find some stories she might romantically enjoy.
Talk together, be open, even logical about it.
Asking..
Do you like this?
Get her a vibrator and try it, asking, watching, even get her a bit drunk, so she can let loose!
Sadly the generation she and I were brought up in, was non sexual, and then, the sexual revolution, I think it went a bit overboard, it got very frightening!
You want to stay and love her, she must do her part, she really has no idea what she is missing out on!
It's a favour to her to show her the sensual erotic parts of "sex"
and when it is done with "love!"
Oh yes, she is missing out!
I had to learn it the hard way, I wish I knew then what I knew now!
Oh, I wish I had a man like you, loving and caring!
kkceohcs
Sex is not about men
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2002
- Posts
- 6,724
Thanks
Thanks for your openness and honesty. I guess that is what this board is all about, anonymity. I was born full term but 4 months early. My parents didn't talk about sex. When I came of age, I got books to explain the process. I did not know what passion was until I met my wife and I am apparently full of it. Ha Ha Ha. I did not know true love until we got together, the willingness of each other to anticipate the needs/wants of the other. We were friends for 6 years before dating, I thought I knew her. She sent me away to grow up. I guess I did, but she hadn't. She is still my best friend. Which doesn't do any good when you have problems to talk about. Keep up the search.
Thanks for your openness and honesty. I guess that is what this board is all about, anonymity. I was born full term but 4 months early.
My parents didn't talk about sex. When I came of age, I got books to explain the process. I did not know what passion was until I met my wife and I am apparently full of it. Ha Ha Ha. I did not know true love until we got together, the willingness of each other to anticipate the needs/wants of the other. We were friends for 6 years before dating, I thought I knew her. She sent me away to grow up. I guess I did, but she hadn't. She is still my best friend. Which doesn't do any good when you have problems to talk about. Keep up the search.
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Re: Thanks
I'm so happy to hear from you. Your last contact made me feel really nice...I hope all is well.
I really don't understand what you said about her being your best friend, yet that doesn't help when you have problems to talk about......??? I know its hard, but keep trying.....even if its little baby steps.
Also....this board really isn't about "anonymity"....it may be a cause for one to speak a little more freely, but I addressed you the same in our PMs as I did here. I speak freely no matter where I am, as long as I have something to say that is important enough to me to say it.
kkceohcs said:Thanks for your openness and honesty. I guess that is what this board is all about, anonymity. I was born full term but 4 months early.
I'm so happy to hear from you. Your last contact made me feel really nice...I hope all is well.
I really don't understand what you said about her being your best friend, yet that doesn't help when you have problems to talk about......??? I know its hard, but keep trying.....even if its little baby steps.
Also....this board really isn't about "anonymity"....it may be a cause for one to speak a little more freely, but I addressed you the same in our PMs as I did here. I speak freely no matter where I am, as long as I have something to say that is important enough to me to say it.
Hi all. I'm relatively new to the board, but not to the site and I just wanted to say that I read the ongoing thread. I feel for each of you and can appreciate the supressed need to express yourself physically. My wife is no longer my ideal sexual partner, but our marriage is strong in the important things. It becomes incredibly frustrating when there is no sex to be had and when it does happen, it seems more like a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, thanks for the thread as it helps me realize that I am not alone.
SailorC272002
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 19, 2002
- Posts
- 744
Just read this thread for the first time.
What is it with couples in their 40's where holes in their lives that did not seem to be their earlier start to show. Many people just get divorced.
Reading this thread, it obviously is not a man or woman issue. Sex is certainly a common thread. There seem to be as many woman looking for sex as men. And I do not mean sex just for entertainment purposes. But sex that shares intimacy. And what seems to make it worse is that it does not seem to be a reduction of libido in both parties. Sometimes, the men lose interest others the woman lose interest. Ironically, they love each other but resentment and confidence washes over everything ouside of bed.
What is it with couples in their 40's where holes in their lives that did not seem to be their earlier start to show. Many people just get divorced.
Reading this thread, it obviously is not a man or woman issue. Sex is certainly a common thread. There seem to be as many woman looking for sex as men. And I do not mean sex just for entertainment purposes. But sex that shares intimacy. And what seems to make it worse is that it does not seem to be a reduction of libido in both parties. Sometimes, the men lose interest others the woman lose interest. Ironically, they love each other but resentment and confidence washes over everything ouside of bed.
SailorC272002 said:
I believe its called complacency, comfort, that feeling of being "settled" and thinking nothing will ever rock the boat of our marriage again...and we end up taking it for granted. Marriage, especially when children, and bills and all that responsibility are added to the mix, can be so very boring. We just get tired...we are pulled in so many directions. Also, it seems we put ourselves...and pleasure, way at the bottom of the list. By the time we get to that place and time for sex, we are drained...the creativity and inspiration that gives intimacy and sex that special touch are just too hard to muster, so we simply "go through the motions." And resentment over other problems that are never truly resolved builds walls...and the walls get bigger and bigger, until all of a sudden you find yourself looking at this person that you are so wrapped up in and so tied to, and thinking "who the hell are you, and what did you do with my love?"
If you don't do something.....it just dissolves. The love is still there, but just like humans, plants and all living things, it needs to be fed, nourished...and challenged. The committment isn't just the piece of paper...it isn't just the "OK..I'm still coming home every day, I'm doing the right thing"...it is a verb.
I believe I am done with marriage. I've tried it more than once and I have seen all the things that destroy it. I am much better off paying my own bills, raising my children MY way and having no one that I need to feel "obligated" to. That feeling snuffs out so much, so quickly. It just creates pressure, and the more we feel pressured, the more we run. I would much rather have someone in my life to enhance it, not weigh me down with so much responsibility and need and obligation. And its not about committment either...I can be extremely committed without all the marriage stuff. I want to show up because
I want and need and simply have to be with that person, not because I am married to them, and have to be with them in that sense.
Anything else I say at this point to give advice and hope would just be too damn cheesy, so I will just shut up now.
BigDaddy3 said:
I hope you can figure out what to do about it....just do something....don't give up. When you love and everything else is strong......its worth it, because just imagine...... what it could be like if everything worked....if the love~making were as wonderful as the love, as the rest of the marriage.
Dragonette
I am Dragon, make me purr
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2001
- Posts
- 6,295
Yes
You have explained it
Long togetherness gets to a comfy zone, you know each other. But the spark is no longer there, and you are scared to change it.
It happens so often, sadly that's why a married person looks elsewhere for the sexual spark.
It takes the effort to talk and to try to rekindle it. If you have the love, keep it, but try to blow the embers back into a fire.
I am alone, I would so much like someone, as a partner, oh yes, for the sex, but for the company, someone special!
I get offers, but casual sex is not what I am looking for, I want something with meaning, not marriage, not living together, but a partner.
Maybe one day I will find him!
I can but hope.
You have explained it
Long togetherness gets to a comfy zone, you know each other. But the spark is no longer there, and you are scared to change it.
It happens so often, sadly that's why a married person looks elsewhere for the sexual spark.
It takes the effort to talk and to try to rekindle it. If you have the love, keep it, but try to blow the embers back into a fire.
I am alone, I would so much like someone, as a partner, oh yes, for the sex, but for the company, someone special!
I get offers, but casual sex is not what I am looking for, I want something with meaning, not marriage, not living together, but a partner.
Maybe one day I will find him!
I can but hope.
Barely__There
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2002
- Posts
- 860
Re: Re: hello
My God, you have put into words what I have been feeling for so long, but unable to express. I have been out of my marriage for three years now, and it was celibate for a couple before that. I always thought it was me, but have found that through this site, I DO have the feelings and sexual needs that I was told were not there.
One thing I might suggest to kkceohcs, is a medical check up for his wife too. I was finally diagnosed with mild depression, and went on medication for about a year. Guess what....no more depression...and sexual interest has returned. It is not always the case, but even a mild depression, (and believe me, women in their early 40's have a large instance of undiagnosed depression) can affect how you feel about yourself, and your partner.
I am overjoyed to find my sexual, sensual self, before I dired up completely. Good luck.
Jade
intrigued said:
First, are you the gentleman that emailed me? If so, you seem to already have a firm grasp on what you need to do...if not, pardon "my" rambling thoughts.
First, your wife has issues that truly need addressing. While it is you that will need to support her, it is she that will need to seek help. I understand where she is at, as I have lived there most of my adult life. One has to stomp that complacency in the ground, and need and desire more, for there to be any change. She has to be willing. And you have to be willing to pour your heart out to her, and not just once, but over and over. You apparently love her and are committed to her, so really, what other answer can there be for you, but her?
I have been frigid for about the last 5 years, and I finally decided that it had to end. I need intimacy, I need to make love. I need to feel as a woman should feel. After a year of alot of hard work addressing my issues, one of the nicest things that helped me alot was found right here at this site. I learned through reading the stories here, viewing pics and movies, and extremely compelling interactions with others, that oh yes...I can feel. For me, that is a tremendous gain. As a woman,. might I steer you to jlatinos movies in the Amateur Pics Feedback Forum?? This man is an artist...and he has sent me reeling...left me mindless, and oh my, has he changed my experience. I actually find myself playing his movies on "continous play".
I wish you well, and and I hope your marriage grows and strengthens.
Connie
My God, you have put into words what I have been feeling for so long, but unable to express. I have been out of my marriage for three years now, and it was celibate for a couple before that. I always thought it was me, but have found that through this site, I DO have the feelings and sexual needs that I was told were not there.
One thing I might suggest to kkceohcs, is a medical check up for his wife too. I was finally diagnosed with mild depression, and went on medication for about a year. Guess what....no more depression...and sexual interest has returned. It is not always the case, but even a mild depression, (and believe me, women in their early 40's have a large instance of undiagnosed depression) can affect how you feel about yourself, and your partner.
I am overjoyed to find my sexual, sensual self, before I dired up completely. Good luck.
Jade
