I'm out...

[Johnny Mayberry]

Your statement about "what is there to learn?" tells me that you are, in fact, quite new. What are you, 20? 24?

I've been doing this since i was 20, and I learn new things all the time. Manners and ettiquete for one thing. That and there's always a new twist on something old. I try to hang around with people that have been at this as long as, or longer than, I have. You'd be amazed at what an older gay leatherman (or woman) can teach you about BDSM, even after many years of experience

And no, BDSM doesn't require going to "playspaces" but unless you are exposed to other players of high caliber, and ones that you don't see all the time, you won't learn anything new.

As far a the people that know you, I don't know them. I do know other people that you have interacted with, and I haven't heard anything favorable yet.

And it's not your stunning grip on reality that would keep you from being tolerated. It's the fact that instead of having a conversation, you insult and strut. If that's integrity, put me in the other line.

You can reject what you want, this is true. I have been to events and met people from around the world, and been involved in many communities in my life. I can tell you from experience, what would be rejected, is you.

Whatever, dude...back in your hole, already!! People like me, because I am neat, and groovy too!

The people who don't like me are losers generally, or predators, or folks like you who don't know me, and don't care to know anyone who isn't just like them.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

BTW, "BDSM ettiquete" would be an interesting thread for someone to start, I think it would be pretty interesting. I figured I was safe by not hitting on someone else's submissive and not throwing popcorn at anyone during a public scene...you mean there's more?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Oh, let's not forget to add that among the people who view me negatively are people who need therapy and medication before they get hurt or hurt others, and those people who have made unwanted advances towards my submissive, or friends of mine on Lit.

 

[MasterNico]

Whatever, dude...back in your hole, already!! People like me, because I am neat, and groovy too!

The people who don't like me are losers generally, or predators, or folks like you who don't know me, and don't care to know anyone who isn't just like them.

amazing, that is my EXACT estimation of YOU! Funny how people tend to mirror their faults into others.

So you know, I've had at least 15 PM's since I first replied to this thread, from people thanking me for expressing what they have been thinking for some time now.

You aren't as popular as you think. Go ahead and holler about how much people like you, saying it doesn't make it true. But maybe if you say it even more, it will.

And since you seem to love me so much, I'll be around much more often, and I'll keep a special eye out for your posts. Evry Kirk needs a Kahn.

You never did answer about your age young man. Did I over estimate?

Besides, I thought you were "out"? So go already. Maybe it's time for some new blood around here.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Wow, I've got me my very own troll, how sweet!

Oh, and people have PMed you about me? How seriously should I take you, or people who don't have the balls to confront me personally? Adults say what they think, and take the consequences...I don't know what to think about people who hide in the shadows.

Come watch me, and take notes, and see how I do things, chum...it will be an education for you, I'm sure. Have you actually read any of my posts on serious issues, or read my kick-ass 'New Sub Haven' thread? You might learn something.

BTW, have you started that BDSM ettiquete thread yet, since you are so good at rubbing people the right way?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Oh my goodness, I forgot a whole other category of people: people cheating on their spouses!!! How could I forget that pretty vocal group of people who don't like me?!?

 

[MasterNico]

Wow, I've got me my very own troll, how sweet!

Oh, and people have PMed you about me? How seriously should I take you, or people who don't have the balls to confront me personally? Adults say what they think, and take the consequences...I don't know what to think about people who hide in the shadows.

Come watch me, and take notes, and see how I do things, chum...it will be an education for you, I'm sure. Have you actually read any of my posts on serious issues, or read my kick-ass 'New Sub Haven' thread? You might learn something.

BTW, have you started that BDSM ettiquete thread yet, since you are so good at rubbing people the right way?

No need to start that thread, you know everything already. What could I possibly add. (that's sarcasm, in case you weren't sure)

You can take me a seriously as you want, you are personally resposible from driving folks away from this board. And that's a real shame.

You're a child. With childish actions, and childish replies.

I haven't seen anything with any substance so far, why should I go looking? You're not that good, I'm sure. The fact that you are inflicting yourself on new subs screams "Predator" to me.

But then, I don't know you any more than you know me, do I?

Remember, you started this thread, I'm just posting to it.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

No need to start that thread, you know everything already. What could I possibly add. (that's sarcasm, in case you weren't sure)

You can take me a seriously as you want, you are personally resposible from driving folks away from this board. And that's a real shame.

You're a child. With childish actions, and childish replies.

I haven't seen anything with any substance so far, why should I go looking? You're not that good, I'm sure. The fact that you are inflicting yourself on new subs screams "Predator" to me.

But then, I don't know you any more than you know me, do I?

Remember, you started this thread, I'm just posting to it.

I started this thread talking about teh lack of interesting threads....if you have an interesting idea, share it for Christ's sake! Sweet crispy chocolate-covered Christ on a stick, man, why the fuck not?

And I hate to toot my own horn, but the 'New Sub Haven' thread is brilliant, especially the first 5-6 pages or so.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to say lived reality is the best teacher for me. No one pattern of relationship fits all in or out of BDSM, if it did it would fast become stagnant and boring. While I am a believer in learning from those who have been before in many life situations, I also have found in BDSM and vanilla a year number of inclusion in any group be it BDSM, marriage, religion, teaching etc., does not necessarily mean that person is knowledgeable, or going to teach me anything, though it may. Being in anything for a long period can have both positive and negative outcomes depending on the individual and their mindset...I have personally met many who have suibscribed to something for 10-20+ years and been a closed minded jerk who has never grown...just as I have met some who are new and have had much to add and share with others.

It is all very subjective to the person and situation and numbers alone can never prove anything. I would hate to close myself off from learning something by not communicating with someone based solely on what I assumed must mean inexperience due to a figure, a sexual identity, colour, religion, post umber, or any number of things people use to guage the worthiness of another. Personally I would like to see a tolerance to listen to all viewpoints and at least learn through that knowledge and attempt to understand another whether I am in agreement with their ways for my life or not. I built my career on seeking to understand the viewpoint and rationale of those I least related too.....it enlightened as well as reinforced what I knew to be right for me, enabled me to appreciate difference even more, and at times even helped me adopt a new perspective different from my old.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh, and this has livened up the board for a bit at least!! TY

 

[James G 5]

I don't know. I posted my last hope for a thought provoking thread the other day and it has died a quick death. Maybe I need to post the "how do I make my boyfriend whip me" kind of thread. Those are the kind (done over and over and over again) that seem to get the responses.

Now be fair, some of us who think & respond to thinking threads have been hampered by Lit failing to work most of this week during the hours when we can actually post

 

[James G 5]

I (along with others) host the largest yearly pansexual bdsm event in my state.

Yeah BASH! Ya'll should come & visit us

 

[James G 5]

not roleplaying jerkoffs like you. I'll bet you go to your goofy little club on weekends in a funny outfit and talk like a cross between Darth Vader and some bodice-ripper hero.

For the record, I've known Nico for 7 years....He usually wears jeans & shirts, he might throw on a leather vest if he's going out.
He lives 24/7 with his wife/first girl and has a long term second girl. He's one of the most real, least pretentious, and definetly non-role playing types I've ever met

 

[A Desert Rose]

Now be fair, some of us who think & respond to thinking threads have been hampered by Lit failing to work most of this week during the hours when we can actually post

Don't roll your eyes at me.

 

[Desdemona]

I haven't posted because:

A. Lit hasn't been working right

B. I'm busy

C. I have no ideas for new threads.

D. I'm bored with the flirting and playing all the time. Some of that is good and helps to develop friendships. But it seems like we have a hard time finding a happy medium between talking seriously and flirting.

 

[James G 5]

Don't roll your eyes at me.

Wasn't at YOU babe, it was at the Lit Gremlins
Who crashed it on me for over 1/2 an hour earlier as I was trying to get caught up *sigh*

However, if you wanna do something to make my eyes roll back later.....


Oops, I better stop before this thread devolves in to flirting

*Serious*
Not to get in to any of the personal disagreement going on in this thread, but Nico has something valid to say about the attitudes here. It's a 2-sided dynamic with people who drop in (especially newer ones) who ask "stupid" or repetetive questions or who post unpopular opinions getting slammed, or if someone posts a response or comment saying they disagree with something or thing something is unhealthy or unsafe they get ripped for being close-minded & intolerant, or even for making a personal attack

Not only do these issues make it less likely that "new blood" will come in to the board, but it's enough to make some of us throw our hands up in disgust & despair over being able to HAVE a good adult conversation where we can disagree without rancor or name calling

I know I sometimes take a week or so away from the board and often only do "fluff" just to avoid this sort of thing

All too often, people seem to forget that there're other people on the opposite side of the screen, people who can & will be hurt by what is said to & about them
And there're people who're so in the mode of being victims or perecuted or so used to people attacking them that they have difficulty reading anything as a contrary opinion or constructive criticism without taking it as some sort of personal affront, even when not intended that way

This is NOT endemic to this board, I see it in ANY chatroom or message area...you end up with clique-ish groups of "regs" and then you have newbs & passerbys
You often wind up seeing a stratisfying of opinions and a mobitdity of new thought, with a great deal of personal in-fighting & sniping serving to "liven things up" with needless drama while new people & new thoughts are rejected out of hand

Sadly, I don'tknow a way to fix it

Sometimes the only thing that helps is for enough time to pass that people leave & new people come in & the cycle starts over again
But DAMN it would be nice if we could just maintain happy INTELLIGENT discourse here, in addition to all our fun flirting

/serious

 

[James G 5]

I haven't posted because:

A. Lit hasn't been working right

B. I'm busy

C. I have no ideas for new threads.

D. I'm bored with the flirting and playing all the time. Some of that is good and helps to develop friendships. But it seems like we have a hard time finding a happy medium between talking seriously and flirting.

That was supposed to be the idea behind splitting off the Cafe
Serious on one end, flirting on the other
Unfortunately it hasn't worked 100%

 

[A Desert Rose]

Wasn't at YOU babe, it was at the Lit Gremlins
Who crashed it on me for over 1/2 an hour earlier as I was trying to get caught up *sigh*

However, if you wanna do something to make my eyes roll back later.....


Oops, I better stop before this thread devolves in to flirting

*Serious*
Not to get in to any of the personal disagreement going on in this thread, but Nico has something valid to say about the attitudes here. It's a 2-sided dynamic with people who drop in (especially newer ones) who ask "stupid" or repetetive questions or who post unpopular opinions getting slammed, or if someone posts a response or comment saying they disagree with something or thing something is unhealthy or unsafe they get ripped for being close-minded & intolerant, or even for making a personal attack

Not only do these issues make it less likely that "new blood" will come in to the board, but it's enough to make some of us throw our hands up in disgust & despair over being able to HAVE a good adult conversation where we can disagree without rancor or name calling

I know I sometimes take a week or so away from the board and often only do "fluff" just to avoid this sort of thing

All too often, people seem to forget that there're other people on the opposite side of the screen, people who can & will be hurt by what is said to & about them
And there're people who're so in the mode of being victims or perecuted or so used to people attacking them that they have difficulty reading anything as a contrary opinion or constructive criticism without taking it as some sort of personal affront, even when not intended that way

This is NOT endemic to this board, I see it in ANY chatroom or message area...you end up with clique-ish groups of "regs" and then you have newbs & passerbys
You often wind up seeing a stratisfying of opinions and a mobitdity of new thought, with a great deal of personal in-fighting & sniping serving to "liven things up" with needless drama while new people & new thoughts are rejected out of hand

Sadly, I don'tknow a way to fix it

Sometimes the only thing that helps is for enough time to pass that people leave & new people come in & the cycle starts over again
But DAMN it would be nice if we could just maintain happy INTELLIGENT discourse here, in addition to all our fun flirting

/serious

I guess I need to be looking closer at what goes on.

 

[Desdemona]

That was supposed to be the idea behind splitting off the Cafe
Serious on one end, flirting on the other
Unfortunately it hasn't worked 100%

So I've noticed.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I've been posting for over a year and there are posters who try to intimidate, patronize and just look for reasons to be rude to me, still. I choose not to let them stifle me. I just do not post to them or around them.
And not surprisingly, for the exception of one, they are all women.

In my opinion, there are not enough serious Dom-ly opinions on this board. I could learn a lot from them. We have so many subs here (male and female) and not enough of the other point of views.

It is a loss to most of us when people stay away because they feel that a few are not welcoming of their opinions.

 

[James G 5]

In my opinion, there are not enough serious Dom-ly opinions on this board. I could learn a lot from them. We have so many subs here (male and female) and not enough of the other point of views.

All the ones with subs are too busy trying to keep them in line to post much

 

[redelicious]

I play on flirt threads and so do you. And I am sure I will be attacked for voicing the sentiments of many who have backed away from posting or have ceased doing it altogether.

But if we are called snobbish and elitist, I take that as a compliment. We are in good company and we have great taste in friends. ;-)

Well, I for one won't attack you. It's no secret I like to flirt and be frivolous, and I have defended those kinds of threads in the past. But, I really get more long term enjoyment from reading the more serious threads and being able to look at something in a new way. I just wish I had more to contribute.

I do get a little testy when I perceive that someone is being looked down on for not being "as real" as someone else. And that may be my own hang up because I'll never be there myself. But to be honest, I don't get that sense much. I still think most of the people here are very welcoming, and I can ignore the ones who aren't.

But I've always liked you Rose, and Catalina too.

 

[Krinaia]

Your statement about "what is there to learn?" tells me that you are, in fact, quite new. What are you, 20? 24?

I've been doing this since i was 20, and I learn new things all the time. Manners and ettiquete for one thing. That and there's always a new twist on something old. I try to hang around with people that have been at this as long as, or longer than, I have. You'd be amazed at what an older gay leatherman (or woman) can teach you about BDSM, even after many years of experience

Don't forget, you were a newbie once too... not to say that you have, just a reminder. It's like being 40 and blaming a 20 yrd olf for being 20 and not having the wisdom and forsight you do. We have to find our own way, we'll make mistakes, we'll change our minds, we'll grow up (hopefully). Just because you already passed through that phase doesn't mean it makes you better. And don't forget the wisdom of children, or those who are inexperienced .... sometimes they can teach an adult/experienced dominant/submissive something new too.

It reminds me of once when I had a conversation with a pessimistic, downtrodden 40something yr old. He blamed me for being optimisitc and having hope for the future. He told me I should stop being so foolish and wake up to the way the world really was. I told him to fuck off, I was happy while he was miserable and his attitudes certainly wouldn't help me change the world. At least mine made it a possiblity, however small.


edited for stupid typos

 

[catalina_francisco]

But I've always liked you Rose, and Catalina too.

Wow thanks...you have started my day off with a smile which is always a plus and motivator to do great things. Of course it goes without saying you are cool yourself and I daresay still have a lot more left to contribute to fluff and not so fluffy.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

All the ones with subs are too busy trying to keep them in line to post much

LOL, now surely you are not suggesting we get out of line and wear you Domly ones out are you? As if!!

Catalina