Introduction to D/s through Erotica

[FungiUg]

...If I were to send them to any information it would be Castlerealm..two particular sections..
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/domlook.shtml
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/submanual.shtml

Yup, thanks. I have a stack of sites to visit, including Castle Realm. Can't do away with the need to read about it and do a bit of study. But the erotica can be a little more fun, don't you think?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Yup, thanks. I have a stack of sites to visit, including Castle Realm. Can't do away with the need to read about it and do a bit of study. But the erotica can be a little more fun, don't you think?

yes.if you are looking for fun..but if you are looking for fun..you are not looking for My assistance ~~smile~~

 

[FungiUg]

...but if you are looking for fun..you are not looking for My assistance

Well noooo... other than any stories you like to recommend to newbies?

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

<snip> If I were to send them to any information it would be Castlerealm..two particular sections..
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/domlook.shtml
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/submanual.shtml

There is no doubt in My mind that many in the lifestyle today got their first desires through erotica nad have since moved into long term and successful BDSM experiences.

Castlerealm was the site that I first found after becoming dissatisfied with BDSM in erotica. I agree with Shadowsdream. It's a great resource.

 

[NemoAlia]

My personal favorites? Hm. On literotica, no less? Hard to say.

My all-time favorite story is this one: http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=78630
But I'm not certain that it qualifies as BDSM.

And I always recommend the work of a friend:
http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=66397

And, as I recall, this one was fun, once I waded past all of the motorcycle facts and figures. (Of course, if you're a huge motorcycle fan, you'll probably get even more out of this story.)
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=64024

This one is short, but sweet:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=70079

Man, all those trips down Memory Lane have left me in need of a shower. Perhaps I'll be back with more suggestions later.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I write erotica based on reality..when My site is up it is full of such erotica...BUT..even though it is based on reality as I live it, it is not the portion of My site I would send any Dom/me or sub hopeful to if they were looking for information.
If I were to send them to any information it would be Castlerealm..two particular sections..
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/domlook.shtml
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/submanual.shtml

There is no doubt in My mind that many in the lifestyle today got their first desires through erotica nad have since moved into long term and successful BDSM experiences.

Castlerealm is always the first stop I send new subs, and for new dom/mes.

 

[FungiUg]

Castlerealm is always the first stop I send new subs, and for new dom/mes.

It's certainly a site I recommend up front as well. Along with some more local sites (a New Zealand site, and an Auckland site.) But I also recommend Literotica... it gets people used to thinking about sex and what turns them on and what doesn't. (Well, that's my opinion, so of course I must be right!)

Castlerealm is particularly good if you know you are submissive (or Dominant, as was my own case when I ended up there) and want to learn more. But some of the people I talk to have no idea if they are submissive or Dominant. They are curious and want to know more, and possibly decide if they are. For that, I've found lots of "whys, do's and don't" aren't the best. But fantasy is.

Okay, perhaps I am biased, since I came to D/s through erotica. But I know it works, so that's why I recommend it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

It's certainly a site I recommend up front as well. Along with some more local sites (a New Zealand site, and an Auckland site.) But I also recommend Literotica... it gets people used to thinking about sex and what turns them on and what doesn't. (Well, that's my opinion, so of course I must be right!)

Castlerealm is particularly good if you know you are submissive (or Dominant, as was my own case when I ended up there) and want to learn more. But some of the people I talk to have no idea if they are submissive or Dominant. They are curious and want to know more, and possibly decide if they are. For that, I've found lots of "whys, do's and don't" aren't the best. But fantasy is.

Okay, perhaps I am biased, since I came to D/s through erotica. But I know it works, so that's why I recommend it.

Everybody's different, so it's all good.

I do not spend a lot of time schooling people who do not know what they are. I am just not that patient.

 

[Desdemona]

Everybody's different, so it's all good.

I do not spend a lot of time schooling people who do not know what they are. I am just not that patient.

Eb, you have a big heart and can be quite patient under the right circumstances. Give me a break. lol

 

[FungiUg]

Introducing newbies

I do not spend a lot of time schooling people who do not know what they are. I am just not that patient.

Ahah... well, it pays to know our own limitations, what we like and what we don't.

For me, there's a thrill in introducing someone to something I love. Even if it's not as a submissive for myself, it's still so much fun seeing someone learn and progress and open up to their own sexuality.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Introducing newbies

Ahah... well, it pays to know our own limitations, what we like and what we don't.

For me, there's a thrill in introducing someone to something I love. Even if it's not as a submissive for myself, it's still so much fun seeing someone learn and progress and open up to their own sexuality.

LOL, I used up all my patience on motherhood.

 

[NemoAlia]

You know, erotica can also be a good door-opener for the curious-minded who are trying to drop hints to their partners. (How many times have we read the advice, "Choose a good story and leave it lying around for him/her to see!"?)

 

[Shadowsdream]

It's certainly a site I recommend up front as well. Along with some more local sites (a New Zealand site, and an Auckland site.) But I also recommend Literotica... it gets people used to thinking about sex and what turns them on and what doesn't. (Well, that's my opinion, so of course I must be right!)

Castlerealm is particularly good if you know you are submissive (or Dominant, as was my own case when I ended up there) and want to learn more. But some of the people I talk to have no idea if they are submissive or Dominant. They are curious and want to know more, and possibly decide if they are. For that, I've found lots of "whys, do's and don't" aren't the best. But fantasy is.

Okay, perhaps I am biased, since I came to D/s through erotica. But I know it works, so that's why I recommend it.

...I send those PARTICULAR 2 pages to those wondering simply *because* they are not sure if they are Dom/me or sub..or neither...the site is overwhelmingly large to just drop into without some guidance.

 

[FungiUg]

...I send those PARTICULAR 2 pages to those wondering simply *because* they are not sure if they are Dom/me or sub..or neither...the site is overwhelmingly large to just drop into without some guidance.

Damned good point! Thanks, I shall do that in future.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Damned good point! Thanks, I shall do that in future.

It is always a pleasure to give food for thought to those who may find this lifestyle to be the passion they have been missing in their lives...but it is just as pleasant to assist them in finding that it is a fantasy that can be satisfied without living it.
It is the wasted years of wondering and yearning that can be avoided with the right guidance...I suppose that is why I am so deliberate in My approach.

 

[FungiUg]

It is always a pleasure to give food for thought to those who may find this lifestyle to be the passion they have been missing in their lives...but it is just as pleasant to assist them in finding that it is a fantasy that can be satisfied without living it.
It is the wasted years of wondering and yearning that can be avoided with the right guidance...I suppose that is why I am so deliberate in My approach.

This is so much fun, and so interesting, that I love sharing it with other people! I go along with your considered approach (hence starting this discussion.)

 

[Shadowsdream]

This is so much fun, and so interesting, that I love sharing it with other people! I go along with your considered approach (hence starting this discussion.)

It certainly is refreshing and freeing to not hold it close to Your chest like some unspeakable secret is it not?
I believe sharing the knowledge strengthens the abilities rather than weakens the mystic.
It is going to be a pleasure conversing with You I think.

 

[Ebonyfire]

...I send those PARTICULAR 2 pages to those wondering simply *because* they are not sure if they are Dom/me or sub..or neither...the site is overwhelmingly large to just drop into without some guidance.

That is true. It is better to give them just enough information to whet their whistle, rather than too much that just overhwhelms them.

Then, if they are really interested, they will come to the well as often as they need to get the information they seek.

 

[Ebonyfire]

It certainly is refreshing and freeing to not hold it close to Your chest like some unspeakable secret is it not?

I just have a life of my own, and am too busy living it to spend time hand feeding others. So I have to be motivated to put myself out.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I just have a life of my own, and am too busy living it to spend time hand feeding others. So I have to be motivated to put myself out.

I always have time for those I believe in but don't have a spare moment for those looking to be entertained.

 

[FungiUg]

I always have time for those I believe in but don't have a spare moment for those looking to be entertained.

I'm a bit of a soft touch. Kind hearted, heppy to help, classic "rescuer" type.

I do get taken advantage of occasionally, but I prefer me the way I am... I try not to be a completely easy take though. *chuckle*

 

[FungiUg]

Stories to recommend

Well, since people seem unsure about whether recommending free browsing in the BDSM section on Literotica is such a good idea, how about recommending specific authors or stories?

I've read the stories recommended in an earlier post by NemoAlia -- not bad. If you haven't read them, I would recommend you do so. Although the second motorcycle story I would hesitate at recommending to a newbie.

Here are some authors I have found who I recommend:

emma_sub
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=13801

singularity
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=99844

Could people take a look, and see if they agree with my recommendations?

Thanks!

 

[Shadowsdream]

I am not the least unsure about recommending browsing the erotica...but since I never have recommended it....it would ring false to post a favourite....author..story or otherwise.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I am not unsure either. In fact I am very sure. I don't.

But that is just Me. YMMV.

 

[FungiUg]

This is not about educating subbies, but about introductions to D/s

Originally posted by Ebonyfire
I am not unsure either. In fact I am very sure. I don't.

But that is just Me. YMMV.

Yes, but you told us earlier that you were too impatient to go about introducing submissives to D/s at all. So...

Not that I haven't appreciated your viewpoint. And to reiterate, I do point interested people at the appropriate non-fiction reading material (including Castle Realm, although I have been guilty of just sending them to the site rather than the specific articles.) But I also include erotica, because that was how I got interested. For some reason you seem dead against that approach.

Yes, I agree, that some of the erotica promulgates stereotypes, and some of it is downright wrong. Which is the whole reason why I have sought to gather a list of "suitable" intro stories that don't do this. Frankly, I think some of the non-fiction is guilty of doing this as well.

The thing about introducing someone is often they don't even know if they are interested in being submissive or dominant. I kid you not. Let alone what their particular enjoyments are. So pointing them at fantasy can help them get into the mindset of the characters, can help them think "yes, I would love to try that!" or "that's interesting, but not for me."

It's not meant to be a complete education. It is meant to be an introduction. With all due respect to how you handle your subbies, this isn't about prospective submissives. About half (no, that's too high... a third maybe?) of the people I have introduced have been dominant, not submissive. In fact, one person isn't even into the scene -- she wandered in to the chatroom and found she enjoyed talking to us. So far only two of around ten people I have introduced have fallen into the prospective submissive role for me.

Let's face it, we're at a site called Literotica. I am surprised not to find a "definitive list" of "here are the stories we think are great introductory material." Or for that matter "here are our favourite stories." (Hmmm... must go see if there is a thread like that.) But certainly for the former, I intend to assemble one.

So any contributions to that purpose will be greatly appreciated!