Is confession really good for the soul?

[FurryFury]

Personally I wonder how confession is supposed to be so good for the soul if it tears at someone else's soul, KWIM?

Could it help your soul to do that? I'm not really thinking about telling your sex life secrets to other so much as cheating then telling your S.O.

 

[Recidiva]

Personally I wonder how confession is supposed to be so good for the soul if it tears at someone else's soul, KWIM?

Could it help your soul to do that? I'm not really thinking about telling your sex life secrets to other so much as cheating then telling your S.O.

I think this is also one of the part of 12-step programs that get abused.

Confession and making up damage. When people insist on sharing with someone who does not want to know and wants to be distant...

Modern day flagellants who are acting out in front of folks who just get faint at the sight of blood.

 

[FurryFury]

I think this is also one of the part of 12-step programs that get abused.

Confession and making up damage. When people insist on sharing with someone who does not want to know and wants to be distant...

Modern day flagellants who are acting out in front of folks who just get faint at the sight of blood.

Yep, I agree.

 

[FurryFury]

I kind of wish I could "confess' but a zillion different pieces of lingerie before sex and a skirt with no undies is kinky to my friends.

I know what you mean. This is why you need to make some kink friends.

 

[sinnocence]

I have only two friends that know about my M/s relationship. They're totally cool with it and more often than not, they love to ask questions. I have some other friends that I think wouldn't care and some that would be totally freaked out by it. But it's not information that I'm willing to share with many people anyway.

Family definitely falls under the 'no' category. I steer clear of that all together. Certain things were read at one time and certain e-mails were seen that made my father think something was "wrong" with me. And apparently, "I needed help." I was even taken to a therapist about it. Needless to say, I never explained any of it to her since I didn't think it was any of her business. There are just some things that don't need to be uncovered.

 

[FurryFury]

I confess.

Sometimes I get so tired of my mom's drama that I throw some wild shit at her just to distract her.

I'm just evil that way sometimes.

 

[rinka]

Well, I had one of my best friends over for dinner tonight and I told her. She wasn't really surprised because I have hinted and been weirdly mysterious about my relationship and where we met and such.

Felt good to talk about it, though.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

I know what you mean. This is why you need to make some kink friends.

I have.

 

[peachydreams]

Absolutely, positively NO ONE, except the one I am involved with. I am a bit older and none of my friends, or family would understand.

 

[ShyVixen]

My friends know I'm kinky or as they like to call it 'in to alternative practices'. They know I indulge in various degrees of power exchange. But that's only been over the last year or so as I've grown into being comfortable with my kinks. I was surprised to learn none of them were shocked to find out I enjoyed the kinky side of sex.

However intimiate details - urmmm, no. Only two very close girlfriends may get the odd detail.

 

[Homburg]

I was surprised to learn none of them were shocked to find out I enjoyed the kinky side of sex.

I think most people expect librarians to be into kinky sex.

 

[wicked woman]

The answer varies but generally the answer is no confessions here.

I don't have a pressing need to share the intimate details of my sex life with anyone other than the people involved.

My family is definitely a no. None of us care about knowing about the details of the other's sex life.

My best female friend - laughing at her response the time she got up the courage to go into a sex shop with me - wouldn't understand. I've pushed her limits enough just with who have been my sexual partners let alone adding details - especially my submissiveness. She loves me, so she'd try to understand, but I see no reason to put her through that. If I thought it wouldn't be so difficult for her, I would consider sharing my kink with her, on a conceptual level, but that's not going to happen.

I do have a few friends from Lit who are aware of some of my sexual preferences - but details - no, not sharing those.

 

[NotSoLittle]

I think most people expect librarians to be into kinky sex.

I used to work with librarians ... I found their only kink was to debate bureaucratic policies in pointless meetings. "Should we have a meeting about meeting on XYZ topic?"
And think highly of themselves as they discuss meta-data databases. God awful. It killed every fantasy I had about sexy librarians fooling around between the stacks.

 

[Homburg]

I used to work with librarians ... I found their only kink was to debate bureaucratic policies in pointless meetings. "Should we have a meeting about meeting on XYZ topic?"
And think highly of themselves as they discuss meta-data databases. God awful. It killed every fantasy I had about sexy librarians fooling around between the stacks.

Feh, I refuse to let your inconvenient anecdotes intrude on my imaginings.

 

[ZRT]

I was having dinner with one of my inner circle, and joking about my dualistic tendencies- 'I'm a problem solver' and she looks at me funny, says 'You're a problem creator.'

So I respond with 'That too, it's my dualistic nature. Just like how I'm a nice, compassionate gentleman and a sadist.' Her eyebrow goes up. 'I'm occasionally compassionate and a sadist?' Smirk. 'Do nice things once in a while and a sadist?'

She laughs and tells me that if I keep following that along, it'll end with 'I'm a sadist.'

Now, what I'm curious about- which is easier to confess? PYL or pyl? Just skimming along the thread, it seems that pyl definitely is the one that carries more perceived risks in confessional.

 

[Homburg]

Now, what I'm curious about- which is easier to confess? PYL or pyl? Just skimming along the thread, it seems that pyl definitely is the one that carries more perceived risks in confessional.

Seems that way in from my perspective too.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

How much of your sexual lifestyle do you tell your friends?

Very little. I don't consider it to be their business and I am similarly disinterested in their sex lives. Having said that, it's virtually impossible to conceal a M/s dynamic from the world completely so friends and family are on a need-to-know basis.

People know that Master has an alpha personality. They know that I have a beta personality and that I don't challenge authority that he asserts. They also know that we are a very happy couple and that I am in no way abused, oppressed or otherwise disadvantaged by our dynamic. They accept it as normal for me to check in with him and keep him appraised of what I'm up to and because I'm epileptic it's easy to pass this off as his concern for my welfare, which is also perfectly true. I take care to ensure that my obedience to him doesn't get misinterpreted and that he doesn't come across as an asshole. I won't say we've never slipped up but I do try my best.

If people comment on us as a couple, it's almost always positive. There's the very occasional moment when he forgets his manners or I jump to attention too readily and people might wonder about that but it should be clear to my closest acquaintances that ours is a healthy, happy relationship. If someone says I'm spoiling him or too attentive, I reply that I like to. There are rare occasions when my attentiveness to him makes other women feel like I'm showing them up or some man turns to his missus and says, 'why aren't you more like that?' but it's easily laughed off.

I've made the odd faux pas like leaving my collar or other kink related paraphernalia lying around on occasion but nobody has mentioned it or asked me anything. I've also accidentally called him 'Sir' on the phone when others are within earshot. If anything had been said about it, I could have suggested that I was being flippant but that hasn't been necessary. I occasionally sport the odd mystery bruise or mark but again, my epilepsy is a handy cover.

So the signs are there and I do wonder how I will respond if someone starts asking pertinent questions but people in general just do not connect the dots.

 

[ZRT]

Seems that way in from my perspective too.

Which would follow from the 'why do you let him/her do that sort of thing to you?' reaction that most people would have. If people think you're an asswhipping freak, at least you're a large and in charge asswhipping freak.

Not a terribly profound revelation, but something I'd not thought about before.

 

[neci]

for the most part i keep the intimate details of my relationships sacred. it belongs to the person i share it with - and those they choose to share it with. i am a very open person with my friends, and they know i have a kinky side. i have no problem going to a sex shop with close friends and talking about and buying items in front of them (oooh look at the nipple clamps and leather cuffs!) it is more of the emotional and physical act i do not divulge. it is important to me to be comfortable and happy with my sexuality, and if a friend comes to me with her own "confessions," i may share some abbreviated experiences, in hopes that she will be able to find what works for her. i recently met a new woman, who is also involved in the lifestyle. we share a lot in common - goals, passions, art, coffee, wine and a fondness for good literature. she is a Dominate lesbian, and i find it fascinating to listen to her comments about relationships. while i have never shared many details of my own journey into the lifestyle with anyone, i believe that given time and the growth of our friendship, she may be an understanding person to share more with.

 

[nh23]

I think almost everyone in my life knows. My family found out a long time ago, and the majority of my friends are kinky also.

 

[Adakgirl]

I can't call the sexual lifestyle I have a D/s "lifestyle" at all because so far I have not have the opportunity to make it one. But I was honest with my 3 adult nephews about having interactions with Dominant men on the internet as well as my exhibitionism, they asked and I was not going to lie to them.

They asked me because I walked out of my home office here...without thinking one day... wearing a low cut summer dress and they saw magic marker writing across the top of my chest (the top part of the words so&so's fucking slut). They have also heard the loud smacks my paddle on my ass on occasion.

My friends know I am kinky and I was kinky a long time before I got into D/s. I am the type of person who will sit down to have a drink with a friend, male or female and start up the convo with " Sooooo how's your sex life? You been getting any lately? and a wink and a smile.
No my mother and siblings do not know and they haven't asked.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i think that kink is much easier to explain to 'nillas and the greater populace at large, not to mention much easier to find some degree of acceptance or at least tolerance for. but D/s? an authority dynamic that's not for cum and giggles but just because it's who you are and what you believe in? that one is a whole, whole lot tougher for the outside world to swallow. and you can just forget completely about getting M/s to fly.

i've never had any issue confessing most of my deviant sexual interests and activities, however folks i'd previously known for years have completely severed their relationship with me once i confess to being a slave.

 

[xander1083]

It depends on what kind of confession on what to tell

 

[Netzach]

i think that kink is much easier to explain to 'nillas and the greater populace at large, not to mention much easier to find some degree of acceptance or at least tolerance for. but D/s? an authority dynamic that's not for cum and giggles but just because it's who you are and what you believe in? that one is a whole, whole lot tougher for the outside world to swallow. and you can just forget completely about getting M/s to fly.

i've never had any issue confessing most of my deviant sexual interests and activities, however folks i'd previously known for years have completely severed their relationship with me once i confess to being a slave.

Depends how much kink, how much D/s.

If it's spanking or something, you're in like flynn. If it's discovered that you like to hang from hooks in your flesh or electrify your honey's scrote, you have a harder time of it.

Likewise, if you can pass your D/s off as a slightly uptight traditional marriage or a slightly henpacked non-traditional marriage, or for the queer world, a stereotypical Butch/Fem Butch/Queen kind of thing, you're OK.

It's whenever you're at the extremes of something and people's heads explode that you have issues.

 

[BlitzKrieger]

It depends on the friend. Most of my good friends know I'm poly, and most of those knows that I'm into power. Not a one of them was shocked to hear it either. Then again, most of my friends are tabletop gamers, and are, as a crowd, tough to shock.

You have a very good point there. Gamers, of all types, are a fairly thick-skinned bunch. You hear about AR and giant penis-tentacle monsters all day long and a little "light" spanking is kinda boring.