Is D/s roleplaying?

[Richard49]

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/06/15/tulia.suspects/index.html


Main Entry: role
Variant(s): also rôle /'rOl/
Function: noun
Etymology: French rôle, literally, roll, from Old French rolle
Date: 1606
1 a (1) : a character assigned or assumed (2) : a socially expected behavior pattern usually determined by an individual's status in a particular society b : a part played by an actor or singer
2 : a function or part performed especially in a particular operation or process <played a major role in the negotiations>
3 : an identifier attached to an index term to show functional relationships between terms

Main Entry: role-play
Pronunciation: 'rOl-"plA, -'plA
Function: verb
Date: 1949
transitive senses : ACT OUT <students were asked to role-play the thoughts and feelings of each character -- R. G. Lambert>
intransitive senses : to play a role

 

[Richard49]

Huge grin

I can tell I'm gonna lose this one! But that's okay. At least I get to die heroically, knowing I was right.

Or maybe... I will change my mind?

I can see that D/s isn't role-playing. But is role-playing a requirement for D/s?

That is a problem with many on these boards
they see this a debate...competion......self will run rampet
rather a place to share our experence, stength and hope

 

[Richard49]

So it's not "play acting", because it's not something you are doing, it's something you are. Am I right?

At the same time, it is "role playing", because you are not dominant over everyone in your life, or for that matter, in the world. Or should I be calling you "sir"?

It is not about dominanting over everyone
for some of us
it is about who we are all the time

The difference in American language is a noun and a verb

 

[Richard49]

Damn Pure

I fear I might agree with every word of your previous post

 

[A Desert Rose]

Damn Pure

I fear I might agree with every word of your previous post

Richard, your box is full. Please empty it for me.

 

[A Desert Rose]

My apologies for the hijack.

 

[FungiUg]

1 a (1) : a character assigned or assumed (2) : a socially expected behavior pattern usually determined by an individual's status in a particular society b : a part played by an actor or singer
2 : a function or part performed especially in a particular operation or process <played a major role in the negotiations>
3 : an identifier attached to an index term to show functional relationships between terms

Thanks Richard.

As I posted earlier, I can see that I'm losing this one. In fact, I may even go so far as to admit I was wrong.

My idea that people play different roles throughout their life, while true, is not the accepted meaning when it comes to the term "role play". That seems to be synonymous with "play acting."

I will say that I don't mind discussion. It's one of the major ways that people learn (hence interaction in tutorials and so on.) Yes, it can lead to bickering. But we can get that without discussion... so I'm not entirely sure that discussions such as this are to blame.

 

[ownedsubgal]

for me? no, D/s is not role play. nor is my submissive nature a choice, such as the choice to have a particular career, or to be a parent. it is who i am, who i have always been. i am not one of those submissives who says "i am submissive, but ONLY to my Master/Mistress". i am a submissive who is submissive to all. not because i want to be.....it is definitely NOT appealing to always submit to any and everyone.....but 'tis just how i was created.

role play is just not my thing...i need firm, stark reality, something i can hold on to. what drew me to the D/s lifestyle is that it gave me the freedom to be myself, COMPLETELY. to not put on any facades or play any roles.

 

[catalina_francisco]

for me? no, D/s is not role play. nor is my submissive nature a choice, such as the choice to have a particular career, or to be a parent. it is who i am, who i have always been. i am not one of those submissives who says "i am submissive, but ONLY to my Master/Mistress". i am a submissive who is submissive to all. not because i want to be.....it is definitely NOT appealing to always submit to any and everyone.....but 'tis just how i was created.

role play is just not my thing...i need firm, stark reality, something i can hold on to. what drew me to the D/s lifestyle is that it gave me the freedom to be myself, COMPLETELY. to not put on any facades or play any roles.

I love this answer and though I am aware there are those who might dispute it or not understand the reality for what it is, I think it shows one of the most open and honest answers from someone who is comfortable in their own skin and understands themselves better than many of us could hope to ever do.

Catalina

 

[le_kinklet]

tricky i guess

Not sure/sometimes/fence sitter:

it is role playing cos there is normally clear boundaries as to who is Domm/mes and who is sub.
and then again it isn't cos it is a lifestyle choice, so there for you are not playing a role ,,,you would be just being you.
but a mix of both spontenaety*(sp) and organised fantasy also has its part, for instance the Dom/mes may wish to set the scene, that would mean the sub being given a set of instructions that she/he is to follow, there again you are roleplaying, so i am not gonna say, cos it has its place, i is just not sure where,... mabe i just let it float about so it can be pulled in at opportune moments??
~*HuGs*~

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

This came out of a discussion I was having with Richard in another thread.

Is roleplaying the fundamental basis to what we do in D/s?

Is "dominant" or "submissive" a role we play? Is it something inherent within us? Is role-playing a bad thing, or just something we do as part of our lives?

I'm leaving out the sado-masochist side of things, not because they aren't also roles, but because answering this question should be extendable to that as well.

Oh yes, Fungi, I role-play. I role-play my job. Submissive is who I am. Dominant, in control, super-confident, take-charge, registered nurse is what I role-play every day of my life, because I have to in order to provide my patients with the care they deserve. I love what I do, and I do it well; however, that mask, that role, takes an incredible amount of psychic energy to maintain. It wears me out. It is not who I am. It's unnatural, and I have to force it. At the end of the day, when I leave work, I am so glad to not have to be that person anymore, even though I do love what I do; just because of the sheer energy burn it requires to maintain it.

I am a submissive, that's what I am. That takes nothing out of me. It's as easy as breathing.

~anelize

 

[Richard49]

One of the reasons these types of conversations come up
and why sometimes they end in flame wars is


That D/s is part of BDSM
but
others "play" in BDSM that are NOT D/s

also we often confuse the verbs for the nouns

As most here know I am here posting and dialguing
trying to figure out if I ever want to enter into a SO relationship
ever ever again

At first I thought maybe nilla would work
I found that because I am a Dom
that a nilla relationship would not work because I am Dom

Hell I am just ranting now

my point was and is
many are into BDSM that are not D/s

 

[ownedsubgal]

I love this answer and though I am aware there are those who might dispute it or not understand the reality for what it is, I think it shows one of the most open and honest answers from someone who is comfortable in their own skin and understands themselves better than many of us could hope to ever do.

Catalina

oh i still have SOOO much to learn, but thank you, catalina.

 

[Croctden]

It can be for some...

...but it's not for me. When I'm working a sub I'm not beign any different from who I am otherwise. My speach and thoughts are still the same. I like to spank, I walk down the street thinking how that redhead by the soda machine would jump under a paddle. Sue me.

 

[catalina_francisco]

oh i still have SOOO much to learn, but thank you, catalina.

Don't we all...is one of the most interesting and energising aspects of life I think. If I ever stop learning I will die of boredom very quickly.

C

 

[FungiUg]

Thanks everyone for some well thought out responses.

I've been tossing the question I posed around in my own head, and have come to a few conclusions. (It helped when I put it into object modelling terms... hey, I'm a geek!)

Dominance and submission (and switchiness I assume) can be roles, but for many D/s practitioners, they are "attributes" of their personas.

What this means is that when they are dominant or submissive, they are not role playing. Instead, they are expressing a part of themselves that is inherent.

That's not to say it isn't a role, or that they can't "role play". But that being dominant or being submisive doesn't qualify as a "role play". Itstead, it's simply a part of who they fundamentally are.

Of course, there are those who do role play (or play act) being dominant/submissive. But that's kinda different.

(For those other object modellers out there, it's the difference between an "attribute" and an "action". An attribute is something you are, an action is something you do. And I hate having to use plurals to get non-genderised terms!!!)

 

[Richard49]

Not what I said
nor does it match the dictionary definitions I posted

The problem here is those that are trying to force
there play into the terms D/s

You can have BDSM without being D or s

D/s is about who we are
not about what we do

I am a Dom weather I have a submissive in my life
or not

 

[FungiUg]

Not what I said
nor does it match the dictionary definitions I posted

Sorry Richard, I wasn't trying to rephrase what you said. I was trying to post my own thoughts. I guess I was a little too verbose. Here's a summary.

D/s isn't a "role play", it's part of a person's personality.

The exception being that some people do role play D/s, but that's kinda different to being a dominant or submissive.

I'm not gonna argue the BDSM vs D/s thing, since from previous threads, everyone seems to have a different definition of what is which.

 

[His_sugar]

i think it is fairly common that people 'roleplay' in someway in a D/s relationship.

i'm not saying D/s is roleplay, but i am saying in the confines of that relationship, perhaps there is a bit of roleplay. Who knows, maybe One will get the whim that His little slut should be a puppygirl for the night. That is most certainly roleplay.

Doesn't mean i am not sub or He is not Dominant. Variety is the spice of life. i hope i never stop learning, growing, experiencing.. what a boring existance.

 

[Master_Vassago]

To Me Dominant isn't a "role". IT is however the very fiber of My being. It was pointed out recently when I gave some one a rare moment to control something I had typed that even when I give the control, I still gave it so that Dom element is still in place.

Whoa, got off track.

These Dom and sub ideals are for the majority of people that truly get involved into the lifestyle are not roles. That is who a person is. Simply put during the day you may have to assume a different "Role" at work. Such as a submissive may be in charge of people and a CEO at work but that is only because of his/her knowledge and work ethic. While a Dom may have superiors over them at work and have to answer for actions.

The word role is not a good one, to loosely used when describing some aspects of our lifestyle. Of course at times when scening a submissive may take on the roll of a pigtailed little young college girl or a bad librarian, but those are the areas that the roles come in. She is still submissive, just spicing up the normal routine for herself and her Dom.

I think some of the "players" may find our Dom or submissive ways roleplaying but that is because to them this is a game. Fungi I am not pointing you out here, I'm describing your typical every now and then Dom or submissive.

Those who learn and find themselves hungering for knowledge and knows that deep down they are Dom or submissive or even a switch don't have to assume a role. It just is how they are.


I personally don't have a submissive bone in My body I don't think. I did try once, just to see that side of it and while I admit I love the pain and sting of the whip the Mistress wielded it was a laughable situation. Because I couldn't find a way to make Myself submit and call her Mistress and all the rest that goes with it. I am Me, Dom, that's all there is. No role to assume, in every aspect of My life I must have complete control, otherwise I would not be happy.

 

[FungiUg]

I think some of the "players" may find our Dom or submissive ways roleplaying but that is because to them this is a game. Fungi I am not pointing you out here, I'm describing your typical every now and then Dom or submissive.

Thanks MV, it was a good post. I'll take up the "player" thing in a separate post (According to some, including myself, I qualify as a "player". According to others, I don't. Go figure!)

I know how you feel about not having a submissive bone in your body. If I try and be submissive, if very definately is role playing! But being dominant is, well, different.