Is getting a handjob cheating?

[tmmmbrrr]

In the context of having a massage, is getting a happy ending considered cheating on your wife? In a (man's) technical sense, your cock is part of your body, just the twenty-first digit. So while you're getting all your other parts rubbed, why not your cock?

Did you think you were going to get a permission slip from Lit? Nice try. And really, if you're getting a massage where a happy ending is an option, that's cheating too.

I love the way you put that though: '...in a guy's technical sense...' -- We've all tried to go there on one thing or another.

 

[littlecordelera]

In the context of having a massage, is getting a happy ending considered cheating on your wife? In a (man's) technical sense, your cock is part of your body, just the twenty-first digit. So while you're getting all your other parts rubbed, why not your cock?

If you're unwilling to tell your spouse, then it's cheating.

 

[bobb_sledd]

In the context of having a massage, is getting a happy ending considered cheating on your wife? In a (man's) technical sense, your cock is part of your body, just the twenty-first digit. So while you're getting all your other parts rubbed, why not your cock?

Reverse the players; she get a massage from a male provider. He brings her off with his hands. Is it cheating?

Between my wife and I, it's not cheating because she knows I get happy endings with most of the massages I get, and I'm fine if she does too.

 

[suckonsimon]

Reverse the players; she get a massage from a male provider. He brings her off with his hands. Is it cheating?

Between my wife and I, it's not cheating because she knows I get happy endings with most of the massages I get, and I'm fine if she does too.

Very pleasant arrangement you two have!

My comment on the whole 'is it cheating' question in a whole lot of contexts where, ok no piv penetrative sex but an element of gratification with another person unknown to your SO: For cert and of course it's CHEATING! I'm not sayin' don't do it but I am saying, "Get real with the plain fact that it's cheating, and tell yourself it's pathetic to delude yourself that it's not!"

 

[JackOffer]

So from the response here I take it that most think that if two married guys get together and give each other a hand job, they just cheated on their wives. Cum on guys, whats wrong with giving a buddy a helping hand?

 

[dragunov0066]

It depends on your wife, of course. If she know that occasion and she think that is ok; not cheating. But she knows and not to permision is cheating.

 

[LitMasterJ]

Maybe it's cheating or maybe it's just an added way to relax. I don't really care. What I want to know is how do you fine a masseuse who will actually give me a happy ending and actually put some effort into it.

 

[suckonsimon]

So from the response here I take it that most think that if two married guys get together and give each other a hand job, they just cheated on their wives. Cum on guys, whats wrong with giving a buddy a helping hand?

No-one here is talking right or wrong! Just, if we're gonna cheat - talking as much to myself here as anyone else - be honest with yourself that it is in fact cheating!

I'm not saying that the cheating is pathetic, rather the pretending to yourself that it's not cheating. That's what's pathetic.

 

[Farawyn]

No-one here is talking right or wrong! Just, if we're gonna cheat - talking as much to myself here as anyone else - be honest with yourself that it is in fact cheating!

I'm not saying that the cheating is pathetic, rather the pretending to yourself that it's not cheating. That's what's pathetic.

Love the way you worded this.

 

[yukonnights]

If you're unwilling to tell your spouse, then it's cheating.

Bingo! If one truly wants to know the answer, just ask the one person that matters...the wife should be the judge IMO.

 

[Lily_Wight]

(Closed)

 

[Suburbia]

Wait wait wait.

Accidents happen during a massage?

Lets hear more about that!

Yes.

However, as someone who worked as a part-time masseuse a thousand years ago, I understand that "accidents" can and do happen. But, as a wife, I don't necessarily need to hear about it if one did. I'll already be mad enough just knowing that you went to someone else for a massage.

 

[ready4some]

When I am in the middle of getting a handjob,,,, I don't care if it's cheating or not!

 

[JerseyJade]

Yes, it's cheating. Enough said.

 

[LizVegas79]

Wait wait wait.

Accidents happen during a massage?

Lets hear more about that!

A guy starts out on his stomach with a towel over his butt ... you do his back, neck and shoulders, then you do his legs, then you ask him to turn over and viola! Tent City! lol

(I liked the guys who apologized best - anything along the lines of "Sorry, that felt so good I just couldn't help it" is kind of the best compliment a masseuse can get )

 

[ready4some]

Does that mean I should stop?

Yes, it's cheating. Enough said.

 

[angelikitty]

Giving one sure is

 

[ready4some]

I don't want to know that either! lol

Giving one sure is

 

[JerseyJade]

Giving one sure is

That's true. So getting one would be the same thing.

 

[LizVegas79]

That's true. So getting one would be the same thing.

Agreed.

 

[ready4some]

I guess that makes me a both ways cheater!

That's true. So getting one would be the same thing.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Dollie

Yes,it’s cheating.

Even when I masturbate I let my left hand know what’s going on.

Sometimes I switch hands so one won't get jealous.

No, neither is a blow job, nor are either one even sex. Only penetration is sex.

I heard that story many times. Then there were the men who said if I don't cum in you it's not really sex.

So from the response here I take it that most think that if two married guys get together and give each other a hand job, they just cheated on their wives. Cum on guys, whats wrong with giving a buddy a helping hand?

My husband won't touch another man but he will touch another man's woman if the man doesn't mind.

Yes, it's cheating. Enough said.

Not if you don't tell.

 

[coati]

Answering the question

So, the question posed by this thread is obviously addressed toward people who are married. One answer is, "It all depends on your wedding vows."

Don't let other people define marriage for you. Who knows, they could be guided by their religion, or by their own wedding vows, or by their own hang-ups.

Marriage is a contract. You learn this fact quickly if you are ever in a contested divorce. The difference between marriage and other contracts is that not all terms are spelled out in the same document. You have your wedding vows, and then you also have state laws in whatever state you happen to be in when a conflict arises. And if you belong to a religion, you also might have that religion poking its nose into your marriage.

Cheating means violating the rules of the game. Know the rules of the game between you and your spouse, but don't let others moralize to you with their rules.

Same goes for unmarried couples. Tell the outside moralizers to fuck off if their rules do not apply to your relationship.

 

[TheOlderGuy]

In the context of having a massage, is getting a happy ending considered cheating on your wife? In a (man's) technical sense, your cock is part of your body, just the twenty-first digit. So while you're getting all your other parts rubbed, why not your cock?

So, the question posed by this thread is obviously addressed toward people who are married. One answer is, "It all depends on your wedding vows."

Don't let other people define marriage for you. Who knows, they could be guided by their religion, or by their own wedding vows, or by their own hang-ups.

Marriage is a contract. You learn this fact quickly if you are ever in a contested divorce. The difference between marriage and other contracts is that not all terms are spelled out in the same document. You have your wedding vows, and then you also have state laws in whatever state you happen to be in when a conflict arises. And if you belong to a religion, you also might have that religion poking its nose into your marriage.

Cheating means violating the rules of the game. Know the rules of the game between you and your spouse, but don't let others moralize to you with their rules.

Same goes for unmarried couples. Tell the outside moralizers to fuck off if their rules do not apply to your relationship.

I'm sure you've already received more good (and some bad) advice than you thought possible on a site like this. And so, I risk just repeating what's already been said. But, sometimes it doesn't hurt to hear the same thing again, if it's words you need to absorb.

I sense that you are older, retired, probably married all your life to the same lovely woman, who no longer feels a need to give you a thrill. Presumptuous of me, so feel free to correct me. And, if this is true, and if this was a one off that made you feel alive again, as you certainly should, and if your masseuse was being kind to you, then hat off to you, bro. I see you still check in here from time to time even tho you've stopped posting.

However, before you walk that road again you need to examine what your contract/vows/agreement/understanding IS with your wife. If this is something that you could share with her, and she would be happy and accepting of it, then "NO" you have not cheated. If this would hurt her, make her feel betrayed, degraded, depressed, etc -- then "YES" it would be cheating to do it again.

Talk to her. You get a mulligan on the one time, but maybe you'll be surprised how accommodating she might feel about you getting your jollies elsewhere, as long as you don't keep pestering her. If you've made a commitment to someone, then your honor is to protect that commitment.

 

[Nellie60]

No its not cheating, just like your wife being fingered isn't cheating either.

Old thread but agree to disagree regardless of how it happened either during a massage

No its not cheating, just like your wife being fingered isn't cheating either.

Old thread but agree to disagree regardless of how it happened either during a massage or another situation, its cheating as some form of intimacy is required and no consent from SOH

I discovered my first girlfriend giving hand action to an unknown man when I spied on her in full view in a national park, oh yeah she was cheating. Obviously I was devastated