Is it easier to Cheat than Confront?

[rj0314]

This about sums it up

Right, because knowing the truth would cause needless pain. Just because I have sex with another woman does not change the way I feel about my wife in any way at all. She knew how I felt. She knew I was unhappy. She knows our attempts at therapy were not successful. So...?

i completely agree and it would be nice for people to put married or single when offering which side of the coin they land on with this one. I think those with years under their belt have a completely different perspective than those without.

 

[Story_Daddy]

Cheating is selfish and doesn't "fix" anything.

If you are going to fix the relationship- go at it head on (maybe with help). Everyone has faults. Everyone needs to take responsibility for that.

If you can't do that- then end the relationship. BEFORE moving on. That is the right thing to do.

 

[Curiouscouple8]

i completely agree and it would be nice for people to put married or single when offering which side of the coin they land on with this one. I think those with years under their belt have a completely different perspective than those without.

I'm 49 and married. Been through an affair. Mines not really perspective or opinion as much as experience. Having been there I know what's going to happen when she finds out. He thinks he is unhappy now?

 

[blkjames]

I'm in the midst of a family situation...cheating causes great pain.

No one wins when they cheat,they may like it at the time,but sooner or later it will cost.

 

[TwistedJenn]

In my opinion, cheating is never the answer. If you want someone else you obviously don't belong in the relationship you are in. Get out and move on. I'm divorced, although at the time I wasn't looking to move on to anyone. I knew I wasn't happy and although the divorce was the hardest thing I've ever been through it was worth it to come out with integrity and my dignity in the end.

 

[Story_Daddy]

In my opinion, cheating is never the answer. If you want someone else you obviously don't belong in the relationship you are in. Get out and move on. I'm divorced, although at the time I wasn't looking to move on to anyone. I knew I wasn't happy and although the divorce was the hardest thing I've ever been through it was worth it to come out with integrity and my dignity in the end.

Word!

 

[policywank]

i completely agree and it would be nice for people to put married or single when offering which side of the coin they land on with this one. I think those with years under their belt have a completely different perspective than those without.

I have the experience of being married, having cheated and been cheated upon. Life and relationships are complex and mistakes happen. That is different from methodically cheating, knowing it is wrong and making lame excuses about it with full intent to carry-on a hurtful deception.

Most relationships are built on the premise that the other party would want to know. Unless they have explicitly stated otherwise they are entitled to know and keeping it from them is an offence against your loved one. Your rationale is irrelevant because you are the offender justifying your own offence - only a selfish tool would pretend they are unbiased or acting in her best interests. That is kind of like a thief justifying his actions by saying the victim was better off without the TV you stole.

To be clear, I think that women who shut off access to sex are also violating the terms of marriage and would have no problem with that as rationale for going your separate ways. But the onus is on the departing party to stand up and be a man (adult) about it.

 

[missgreekgeek]

As someone who has experienced both in her past- most definitely easy to cheat. Harder to confront.
To cheat is simple really- whether you fall for someone emotionally, or you are simply attracted to them sexually and a situation presents itself where cheating could occur- it's life. Things happen. Perhaps the balance in your relationship is off and you seek pleasure or company elsewhere. It happens. I've cheated a few times (some for revenge, others because I was insanely attracted to the other person and it happened sort of unintentionally).

You'd have to examine both sides of the spectrum, really.

However, mustering up the courage to actually confront someone is far more difficult-for me at least.
I have seen messages, pictures, phone calls...even the obvious walking in on strange occurrences.... It is trying to figure out how to confront that person and the situation best.
In the moment, you have a million and one things rushing through your mind. Anger, betrayal, deceit, confusion... and how do you effectively convey that to someone when you're not interested in hearing their perspective but rather shout out your own?

 

[HoldYouDown]

It depends on the amount of character present in the individuals. Dan Savage uses the term, CPOS, for Cheating Piece of Shit, to describe cheaters, and it seems apt to me.

Cheating is a selfish act that destroys trust in a relationship.

It's easier to cheat. Most people are cowards unfortunately.

 

[prop69]

always easy to cheat.......its the `what happens after` to worry about

How does that impact you as an escort with your family?

 

[Mbiguy77]

Yes it is much easier to cheat. Well for a man to cheat on his woman. My wife a while back just asked me one night how I would feel about her sleeping with another man. I told her depends. She admit to flirting heavily with a black coworker to the point of grabbing his cock on top of his pants. She felt that he was very big and she admit to me that she wanted to fuck him. Some would get mad or jealous. I got turned on. I said, "You should fuck him." She said, "Really? You'd be ok with that?" I said, "Yeah I'm ok with it. I'm not very well endowed and it would turn me on to "catch" you getting fucked silly. She said, "I'm glad you are ok with it. I should tell you something else." I said, "You already slept with him?" She said, "Twice."

Now this wife just recent found out that I am sexually attracted to men. I didn't mean to let her find out. I like the "cheating" part of it. At first I didn't say anything because I was sure she wouldn't have dated me at all.

So she knows that I have sucked this guy's dick but has no idea how often we hook up or how many other times I have slept with other men.