Is the desire for multiple sex partners a true sexual orientation or just a kink?

[ZfrkS62]

It’s worth the effort , if a foursome try 3 on 1

I've had two women tell me they'd only consider a 3 some if they were assured to be the center of attention. How does one person just get to lie there and not contribute with 2 other partners?

 

[Britva415]

How does one person just get to lie there and not contribute with 2 other partners?

Same as any pillow princess

Either that, or, negotiation

 

[Kimlikes]

I've had two women tell me they'd only consider a 3 some if they were assured to be the center of attention. How does one person just get to lie there and not contribute with 2 other partners?

I was wondering how that would work in a FMF unless they have turn being the centre of attention and the guy would have to satisfy them both in turn, would they draw straws to see who went first

 

[Britva415]

I look at polyamory and ethical non-monogamy as orientations

our sex life was rather sparse. It was a band-aid that was necessary for us both to attempt to continue our union

This makes it sound like you chose it out of pragmatism rather than being oriented that way.

That's what my own situation is. I wouldn't otherwise choose to be non-monogamous, if it didn't maintain the union.

 

[Not Normal]

This makes it sound like you chose it out of pragmatism rather than being oriented that way.

That's what my own situation is. I wouldn't otherwise choose to be non-monogamous, if it didn't maintain the union.

It was a time of learning and growth for me. That union ended, but I have a new healthier union and a somewhat new secondary relationship.

Ethical non-monogamy and polyamory aren't taught or discussed. I naturally leaned that way without knowing it was a thing. I always thought it made sense to have different types of attractions and desires, because I felt that in my being, though I didn't have words to describe it as a young person.

 

[LMWM321]

How does one person just get to lie there and not contribute with 2 other partners?

Sort of the premise of a story that my wife and I wrote. ...The idea of two guys taking their turns w/ her - each doing what they want to her - totally turns her off, but the idea of her directing two guys to do do exactly what she wants... Well, that works

Read the following story if you can find 40 mins. ..And please leave a comment if you do, even if anonymously. And apologies for a few name mix-ups at the beginning (no matter how many times I edit a story I always miss something!)

Sharing My Wife Michelle

 

[LMWM321]

Ethical non-monogamy and polyamory aren't taught or discussed. I naturally leaned that way without knowing it was a thing. I always thought it made sense to have different types of attractions and desires, because I felt that in my being, though I didn't have words to describe it as a young person.

A good point. And bear in mind that you may begin your marriage having NO interest in non-monogamy. ..As I've said a dozen times in as many posts, for me the urge for NM didn't arise until decades into our marriage. In fact, my contentment w/ monogamy lasted longer than MOST marriages. But after having sex w/ my beautiful wife 3-4,000 times the urge for being with someone else became irrepressible. ..And the desire isn't necessarily to be with someone prettier or younger. Indeed, my wife is gorgeous by every objective measure and she is very youthful for her age. ..Nor is the motivation necessarily for having sex with someone who is kinkier. My wife and I do stuff I wouldn't dream of doing during a one-time hookup. For me, the itch for occasional sex w/ someone else can be perfectly scratched by having just plain old missionary position sex w/ an average looking 40+ year old woman. ...Well, doggie style too. ..Gotta have that

I've long theorized that maintaining a high level of sexual activity later in life not only extends life but also reduces age-related physical and mental decline. ..After all, there must be a reason evolution instilled in us the desire for sex LONG after having a child is practical or even possible. And if older couples are too bored with each other to maintain an interest in sex, then they should show their partner REAL LOVE and allow them to pursue it outside their partnership without recriminations or guilt.

I suspect that when people in 30+ year relationships claim to have lost all interest in sex, what's really happened is they've simply lost interest in sex w/ each other because they've had sex with each other thousands of times. ..If they are allowed to spend an hour or two a few times per month with a different person, their interest in sex could well come rushing back, along with the physical & mental health benefits it confers upon a person. AND it may very well spark a renewed interest in sex with one another.

 

[Tessinwales]

It’s worth the effort , if a foursome try 3 on 1

3 on 1 is amazingly and very

 

[Paguy8641]

3 on 1 is amazingly and very

It doesn’t matter if it’s MFM or FFM it’s a great day or night as long as everyone is participating and enjoying themselves.

 

[Tessinwales]

It doesn’t matter if it’s MFM or FFM it’s a great day or night as long as everyone is participating and enjoying themselves.

I completely agree with you.

 

[Paguy8641]

It doesn’t matter if it’s MFM or FFM it’s a great day or night as long as everyone is participating and enjoying themselves.

Tessinwales have you been in many?

 

[Jotex]

https://www.xvideos.com/embedframe/ukebucvfc0f

 

[SmoothAndSweet]

Not sure if I understand the question correctly, however, I know that I am polyamorous. and this is a definite physical NEED for sexual satisfaction. However, I do have a monogamous relationship with another which completes my emotional needs. So, kink or orientation? got me...

 

[Veeweewee]

I've thought about this a lot during the course of this thread.

Both husband an I were what you might call polyamorous before we were married, although the word didn't really exist in those days. Not so surprising for a guy, but for us ladies the word was slut. I had to live with that.

We became monogamous for the first half of our marriage and though we've always been deeply committed, it was not quite sexually happy or fulfilled and it could quite possibly have ended our marriage.

Since in the latter half we have recognised and embraced polyamory our marriage couldn't be stronger and even not with others, has made our sex more pleasurable, meaningful and exciting. But also we are more fulfilled and happy... and sexually satisfied.

So I'm learning towards "orientation"... notwithstanding our other kinks.

 

[lc69hunter]

There are so many variations on the lifestyle, it is hard to say. With my second wife, it was definitely a kink. She was unapologetic about being kinky.

 

[cypressknee]

I’d share my wife..but I’d have to be in the mix

 

[SPARTAN047]

I've had two women tell me they'd only consider a 3 some if they were assured to be the center of attention. How does one person just get to lie there and not contribute with 2 other partners?

That isn't that uncommon, they must be only interested in MFM's. They want to lie back and have the guys do all the work, they're holes to use. I had a black married woman who wanted to do the same thing and I played both roles (this was cybersex) when the other guy left.

I wouldn't do it again with any person like that since it's very easy to be lazy in that way. I'm not particularly good but when I had threesomes I generally tried to contribute equally like blowing and licking the couple, or blowing two cocks on my knees almost equally, and if I was fucked I'd open my arse and push back. It was very difficult but I tried opening my mouth to suck that other dick deep. It's one thing if you're getting pounded and lose track of what cock or pussy is being rubbed on you, and I totally get that it's tricky in gangbangs (which I also did). But anyone should always make the effort unless your partners tell you that they want you to be a sex doll who lies there.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I think it could be both. For people who want to be married to one person and yet go swinging, it's a kink.

For anyone who's polyamorous, they might marry only one person since that's what society allows, and still love and have sex with anyone else they liked. It could be an orientation for them.

I've personally talked to people who said they were poly and some who were but lied about only wanting to be with me, since I always caught them back on the same websites we met flirting with and chatting to everyone else. I highly doubt I could love that many people.

I found that it's very tiring to talk to anyone like that, whether they're poly or hook up with everyone they find. You can't really get them in a conversation sometimes and they ignore you for days, weeks or months. I need intimate and involved conversation with a person and I'm happy to chat to them about the same topics for hours over several days, so while I love threesomes and gangbangs, I do think I'm monogamous.

It's nearly impossible with poly people or slutbags, LOL, since of course they can't give you that much time when they're chasing half the country for sex as well as you. So I simply stopped chatting to them where necessary and never followed up on conversations they didn't reply to, and if they replied in weeks or months — no problem. I simply ignored them or removed them from my list if we hadn't talked much, and I'd myself reply in months to them if I wanted to. If they ghosted me after simple sex chat and getting my hopes up, or only seemed to want pictures, complimented me and then vanished — I simply didn't bother to reply and be a new notch on their bedpost.

I won't lie, I've ghosted people too since sometimes I wasn't interested and didn't know how to tell them, or because I did say I didn't think we'd work out and then they wouldn't take the hint. Facebook is also full of such people where I put up pics. Even other TVs and TSs who I like very much would do this, and I was so disappointed at first, but I figured you have to treat people the way they treat you and you can't take online chats too seriously. Nowadays, even a hook up can't be taken seriously.

 

[Britva415]

I don't want sex with multiple partners because it's a kink or an orientation. I want it just because the one relationship with the one partner doesn't provide everything I want and need. It's pragmatism, not kink or identity.

Sex with multiple partners can be a kink but I think that's more unusual than just wanting to not be limited to one partner who might not be completely compatible.

It also matters whether we're talking about non-monogamy or about group sex. Group sex almost certainly works as a "kink," but a "nonmonogamy kink" isn't usually what's happening with non-monogamous people.

Either way, I don't think it's an "orientation," for more-or-less the same reasons I don't think so-called "sapiosexuality" is a sexual orientation.

 

[THoney269]

I don't want sex with multiple partners because it's a kink or an orientation. I want it just because the one relationship with the one partner doesn't provide everything I want and need.

This is what I've tried to explain to my primary partner, who doesn't quite understand...