Is this a dirty story site or lecture/text book on the finer points of English lit

[Green_Knight]

...Rædfæst þin willa aræred under rodores hrofe, eac þon on rumre foldan!

You educated lot have lost me, I'm just trying to write a story. I haven't included an under age character for ages.

"Ic nyste forðǣm ðe ic þā ungelǣred wæs"

 

[oggbashan]

Added to HP's comment above:

I sometimes have to watch US made movies with the subtitles turned on because I cannot follow the spoken dialogue. Part of that is increasing deafness but some is because of the accents.

The Goonies is my worst example. A granddaughter loves it. I can understand maybe one sentence in ten.

 

[sr71plt]

The Goonies is my worst example. A granddaughter loves it. I can understand maybe one sentence in ten.

The reverse is true for Americans and Masterpiece Theater. Even though I've lived in British colonial areas for much of my adult life, it takes me a good twenty minutes from the start of a Masterpiece Theater segment to understand what's being said.

 

[Handley_Page]

Rædfæst þin willa aræred under rodores hrofe, eac þon on rumre foldan!

"Ic nyste forðǣm ðe ic þā ungelǣred wæs"

Snowy:
Imagine how the above sounded at the time, and then write it. You can bet your sweet life that there were bits missing; because the person hearing it KNEW the missing bits.

[And NO, I ain't got a scooby]

 

[NicoleZ]

"Ic nyste forðǣm ðe ic þā ungelǣred wæs"

Ooh stop it! My sides!

 

[NicoleZ]

Snowy:
Imagine how the above sounded at the time, and then write it. You can bet your sweet life that there were bits missing; because the person hearing it KNEW the missing bits.

This is very true. At that time there were almost as many variants of spelling as there were people able to write and what they did write was what they (thought) they heard. The same is true for Middle English as well and they way things are going (to the dogs), it won't be long before it becomes true once more.

 

[oggbashan]

Snowy:
Imagine how the above sounded at the time, and then write it. You can bet your sweet life that there were bits missing; because the person hearing it KNEW the missing bits.

[And NO, I ain't got a scooby]

And both are detected by Google translate as English.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So, how many threads is this? Twelve? Get an Editor and quit with the young whatever. Your now on a watch list, quit trying to sneak underage in.

 

[Handley_Page]

So, how many threads is this? Twelve? Get an Editor and quit with the young whatever. Your now on a watch list, quit trying to sneak underage in.

I suspect that he's trying too hard.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I suspect that he's trying too hard.

But the rules are fairly simple...

1. No under age.
2. Block Paragraph Style.
3. U.S. English Punctuation. Punctuation inside the Quotes. Double quotes to denote dialog.
4. No under age. No mention of under age (teen, I know if you're 18 and 19 you are still a teen, but mention those ages and don't refer to them as teens.) Uses woman not girl. Use man, not boy. All simple things.

 

[Hypoxia]

But the rules are fairly simple...

1. No under age.
2. Block Paragraph Style.
3. U.S. English Punctuation. Punctuation inside the Quotes. Double quotes to denote dialog.
4. No under age. No mention of under age (teen, I know if you're 18 and 19 you are still a teen, but mention those ages and don't refer to them as teens.) Uses woman not girl. Use man, not boy. All simple things.

And of course the others:

* No bestiality with real animals, only fantasy beasts.
* No rape unless the victim enjoys it. Right.
* No snuff, killing for an orgasm. Laurel doesn't much like mayhem, either.
* Be careful with celebs. I forget the exact rules, but be careful.
* Original stories, not copies.

Many possibilities reside within these constraints. Have fun.

 

[uksnowy]

OK thanks HP, it was a one off anyway but I still think it's a good tale to tell.

I did use apostrophes where the letters are missing.

I would try and read a US southern drawl story. The twang and estuary thing annoys me in the street but I think it can be used, however I will modify the tale ref teenage and see what happens.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

And of course the others:

* No bestiality with real animals, only fantasy beasts.
* No rape unless the victim enjoys it. Right.
* No snuff, killing for an orgasm. Laurel doesn't much like mayhem, either.
* Be careful with celebs. I forget the exact rules, but be careful.
* Original stories, not copies.

Many possibilities reside within these constraints. Have fun.

Yeah, you're right, but I don't even think about touching this stuff.

 

[OmnislashXX]

But the rules are fairly simple...

1. No under age.
2. Block Paragraph Style.
3. U.S. English Punctuation. Punctuation inside the Quotes. Double quotes to denote dialog.
4. No under age. No mention of under age (teen, I know if you're 18 and 19 you are still a teen, but mention those ages and don't refer to them as teens.) Uses woman not girl. Use man, not boy. All simple things.

Right. Eighteen Good. Under Eighteen, not good. Example:

Seventeen-year-old Sarah sat on the couch of her home next to her nineteen-year-old boyfriend, Dale. They had been on their third data and had decided to come home to enjoy some good clean fun. So it was that both of them sat there at the coffee table playing Sorry, the board game.
"I'll just slide my pawn into Home," Dale said," and it looks like I win."
Sarah took a look at the clock. One more minute.
She excused herself for a moment as she stepped into the ladies room. The second hands ticked down, as she looked into the mirror.
"Bong", Sarah heard the grandfather clock say.
Sarah smiled as the clock signaled her eighteenth birthday. Suddenly she felt herself magically transform. Her chest suddenly expanded inside her shirt, causing the buttons of her white blouse to suddenly pop, ricocheting off the bathroom walls. The seat of her blue jeans plumped up into a mature curvy fullness, ready to be hand gripped by her patiently awaiting boyfriend.
She returned to the living room, fully adult and ready for her birthday present.
"Dale," she said as she slinked toward him, her newly adult breasts pushing against the remaining straining buttons," I want you to slide your pawn into my home."
"Looks like we both win," Dale smirked.

 

[sr71plt]

This belaboring a point that is irrelevant to the policy continues to get more and more tiresome.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I am sorry Green Knight, I think you're way off course. I have written that story in the way the two teenage mums speak - a mixture of local and what is known as estuary English. I have also used their habit of missing the H from He, H from Her, TH from them, Yer for You + spellings like tole for told, bofe for both and on it goes.

it might be useful to have a couple of intro snippets of dialogue in local-speak - "Like, yeah, orright, innit, bruv."

but then, for the rest of the piece revert to plain english wot everyone unnerstands,like, yeah ... you get me, brah?

Take a look at Martina Cole's stuff to see how she does it.

 

[RejectReality]

90% of grammar rejections are one thing: Punctuation of dialogue. Punctuation inside the quote marks. Easy to miss one or two, but for some reason, Laurel doesn't miss them.

Slang and poor grammar in dialogue isn't usually going to get you rejected. Here are some of the more extreme examples of mine that went through first time without a hitch.

"They are being most well Danica. I journey this day to meet with his Excellency, Duke Blackhawk, and have found I am being most egregiously low on bat guano. One is never knowing when one must be hurling fireballs at vicious beasts, and it was a good reason to be seeing you."

"Oh come on now dearie, are ye thinkin' I'd be poisonin' ye? Zoraster's not gonna let a lil' thief like yerself get off that easy I'm thinkin'. Tis a healing draught that will ease some of yer pain, an' help ye ta get movin' around so's I don't have ta be pullin' ye around like a damn puppet."

I've had plenty of bad English go through when spoken by a first person narrator as well. Unless she's having a bad day, she recognizes this and doesn't ding you for it.

Look where those full stops, commas, exclamation points, and question marks are in relation to the quotation marks. Dime to a donut that's what grammar rejections are triggered by.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Look where those full stops, commas, exclamation points, and question marks are in relation to the quotation marks. Dime to a donut that's what grammar rejections are triggered by.

I'm with you on this. Nothing to base it on, but I'm guessing Laurel runs a text bot over the stories, maybe with a key word finder to find the standard under 18 and rape references, and the bot triggers an appropriate rejection message. She might also do a quick eye scan, see what jumps off the page.

 

[uksnowy]

Thanks all, I am now not doing the things that got me flamed and editing old stuff to comply.
Regards celebs, I have altered all names, they're all Brit TV anyway, but big. The story is nearly finished.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Thanks all, I am now not doing the things that got me flamed and editing old stuff to comply.
Regards celebs, I have altered all names, they're all Brit TV anyway, but big. The story is nearly finished.

Welcome to the side of the angels

 

[Handley_Page]

Thanks all, I am now not doing the things that got me flamed and editing old stuff to comply.
Regards celebs, I have altered all names, they're all Brit TV anyway, but big. The story is nearly finished.

Well, it took a bit of effort