Is This Really Who We Are?
- Thread starter catalina_francisco
- Start date
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
LOL, one of the first things I learned inpsyche class...chances are if someone thinks they are normal, they are far from it.
Catalina
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
I'm not the crazy one, you're the crazy one.
I'm not the crazy one, you're the crazy one.
I'm not the crazy one, you're the crazy one.
I'm not the crazy one, you're the crazy one.
I'm not the crazy one, you're the crazy one.
I'm not the crazy one, you're the crazy one.
Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
HA HA HA HA!!!!
I'm still reading this thread, but this post froze me in my tracks.
I can't even tell you how many times I've thought this exact thing.
00Syd
Secret Agent
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2007
- Posts
- 4,580
LOL, one of the first things I learned inpsyche class...chances are if someone thinks they are normal, they are far from it.
Catalina
Well that makes me feel a little more secure in my sanity, anyway.
RJMasters
workaholic
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2004
- Posts
- 4,298
Hey Marquis, cool av man.
Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
I'm glad JMohegan put the quote into context, because it does make a big difference in understanding the comments. SweetErika pretty much explained it. I don't think there's anyone here who wouldn't make comments like that given the right reference points.
At the same time, I do understand Catalina's point of contention. It is really heartbreaking to see the lifestyle represented like this over and over. A terrible first impression.
What puzzles me is the popularity of this particular stereotype. Given the diversity within the lifestyle, there is plenty of ammunition that can be used to ridicule or persecute us. Why the fixation on asshole dom/doormat submissive?
My perspective on BDSM, for as long as I can remember now, has been that we superficially appear to be full of tender, mushy dominants and viciously manipulative, ballbusting submissives. It makes perfect sense. For the most part, people only get fascinated with the things that don't appear entirely natural to them. I find that the majority of decently grounded individuals I know in the lifestyle tend to have some acceptance of this irony.
At the same time, I do understand Catalina's point of contention. It is really heartbreaking to see the lifestyle represented like this over and over. A terrible first impression.
What puzzles me is the popularity of this particular stereotype. Given the diversity within the lifestyle, there is plenty of ammunition that can be used to ridicule or persecute us. Why the fixation on asshole dom/doormat submissive?
My perspective on BDSM, for as long as I can remember now, has been that we superficially appear to be full of tender, mushy dominants and viciously manipulative, ballbusting submissives. It makes perfect sense. For the most part, people only get fascinated with the things that don't appear entirely natural to them. I find that the majority of decently grounded individuals I know in the lifestyle tend to have some acceptance of this irony.
Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
Thanks RJ, it's a negative I scanned of a picture lo took of C and I. She took a bunch of pictures of us for her photography class and her professor said the work reminded him of Nan Goldin's "Ballad of Sexual Dependency"
We had a good time with that one.
intothewoods
Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 10,966
I just had to say, yes, as to the tender mushy dominant part, anyway. I'm a tad suspicious of the dripping with romance Domly type...I'd rather have a guy who is the master of his inner superjerk, rather than a slave to it...Ahem, so to speak.
RJMasters
workaholic
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2004
- Posts
- 4,298
Excuse my redneck upbringing and not knowing what that is, I'll go to google search for my ed-u-macation a little later.
however you might be a BDSM redneck if the first thing you think of when when someone mentions the Ballad of Sexual Dependency....is some guy humping his obo during recital.
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
Why are most Doms either really fat and/or really ugly? at least on collarme they seem to be?
Fat? Ugly? Fuck, the psycho-hosebeast found my profile.
Primalex
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2007
- Posts
- 6,091
Fat? Ugly? Fuck, the psycho-hosebeast found my profile.
A large personality needs a proper body.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
I'd just like to interject and suggest at this point there is no such thing as a fat Dom.
They're 'husky', bless them
They're 'husky', bless them
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
I'd just like to interject and suggest at this point there is no such thing as a fat Dom.
They're 'husky', bless them
Hunky, manly, macho, perfect even.....
Catalina
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 11,823
I'd just like to interject and suggest at this point there is no such thing as a fat Dom.
They're 'husky', bless them
But, but, but...I like fat Doms.
They get extra points if they're furry, too.
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
I'd just like to interject and suggest at this point there is no such thing as a fat Dom.
They're 'husky', bless them
But, but, but...I like fat Doms.
They get extra points if they're furry, too.
Okay, I like all of you. Even you up there, Primalex.
@}-}rebecca----
not enough discipline ...
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2005
- Posts
- 13,063
We left out magnificent !Hunky, manly, macho, perfect even.....
Catalina
You go girl !But, but, but...I like fat Doms.
They get extra points if they're furry, too.
I wasn't being sarcastic, I couldn't give a flying rat's derriere about stereotyping people in this manner other than it's short sighted, superficial & tedious.
Last edited:
catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
I just had to say, yes, as to the tender mushy dominant part, anyway. I'm a tad suspicious of the dripping with romance Domly type...I'd rather have a guy who is the master of his inner superjerk, rather than a slave to it...Ahem, so to speak.
Men are men the world around. The demands of the penis must be met, first, foremost and rarely with much room from compromise.
That aside, my perception of BDSM dominants has always been, and remains that we are more romantic, mushy and touchy feely than the average joe. I think we're aware of this, and desperately trying to reconcile this with our need to feel like big strong men.
Excuse my redneck upbringing and not knowing what that is, I'll go to google search for my ed-u-macation a little later.
however you might be a BDSM redneck if the first thing you think of when when someone mentions the Ballad of Sexual Dependency....is some guy humping his obo during recital.
No need to exuse yourself, we laughed at the title, and laughed harder after googling it when we got home.
Though it was closer to what I thought it would be than a guy humping his obo during a recital.
Essene
Happy
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2007
- Posts
- 2,592
Fat? Ugly? Fuck, the psycho-hosebeast found my profile.
Awwwww sweetums. You have a real purty smile, and there's just more of you to love.
Seriously though. If I'm not allowed to talk like that, then you aren't either. *crosses arms*
Doll_parts85 as point of reference for attractiveness... *brain I mean brian implodes*
Last edited:
midwestyankee
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2003
- Posts
- 32,060
I just had to say, yes, as to the tender mushy dominant part, anyway. I'm a tad suspicious of the dripping with romance Domly type...I'd rather have a guy who is the master of his inner superjerk, rather than a slave to it...Ahem, so to speak.
Well, there are days when my inner superjerk wants to have a glass of wine with your inner ballbuster.
EmpressFi
Mama Bear
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2006
- Posts
- 4,622
I read the whole thread and fought myself several times to keep from hitting the quote button
But then.. I realized.. one.. I'd just be feeding this troll so desperate for any attention. Two, that it would be gloating to in detail explain to her that yes, Virginia, two fat people can have sex.. can have hours of hot sex... if they know what they're doing...
I did find it disparraging, although I guess I should have expected, the comments that to want a BDSM relationship is to have failed at "normal". But responding wouldnt change their mind, and heaven forbid I throw in that not only do I have a Dom... but I have a husband ~ who ISNT my Dom.
But then.. I realized.. one.. I'd just be feeding this troll so desperate for any attention. Two, that it would be gloating to in detail explain to her that yes, Virginia, two fat people can have sex.. can have hours of hot sex... if they know what they're doing...
I did find it disparraging, although I guess I should have expected, the comments that to want a BDSM relationship is to have failed at "normal". But responding wouldnt change their mind, and heaven forbid I throw in that not only do I have a Dom... but I have a husband ~ who ISNT my Dom.
madetotakeit
WARNING: I Bite Back
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2007
- Posts
- 1,406
I agree, this appears to have been written by someone who maybe could benefit from dealing with a few personal issues. I'm not sure that this is not based on experience from what she seeks out feeling even negative attention is attention and she is willing to settle for that. I'm not in her skin though, so these are just my impressions.
I was talking to someone online over the weekend. While I typically check a persons profile and posts to identify the asshats early on, he seemed to be genuine in his conversation. He asked me to explain BDSM, the concepts and the allure. I tried to explain it was highly individual, if he was truly interested to go to this board and read, read, read. What ended up happening was going round and round. He couldn't grasp what I was saying because he was not able to understand how it could have appeal in the first place. I believe it either clicks or it doesn't. Square pegs will never fit in round holes.
Are we really like what that person posted? No, undeniably not. To someone that does not have that drive, they try to classify it in terms that they can comprehend. Hence the doormat/asshole mentality. Ones that do may appear to not place importance on what is referred to as insignificant. We're human. We want something that pleases. We want to be pleasing. How many subs walk around with insecurities about if the one they feel they have connected with sees them as such? Wondering if they are able to be the submissive that will inspire the one they want to most of all? *Raises hand for having those moments.* However, I don't believe anyone jumps into taking this on as part of who they are without some serious self-reflection. In the process, you realize what is important to you. Some come to realize that it is not the wrappings but what is inside that matters most. Some look for what is inside but hold out until they find the package that catches their eye.
Does this attract people who are incapable of maintaining healthy relationships? Some may think that it will offer some protection. I doubt that they last long before scurrying back to the land of make believe. No matter the distance, the availability, or constraints it is a relationship. It holds importance to those involved. Like any relationship it will have its hurdles and trying times. Unlike just any relationship however there are unique levels that are added on top. It can't be faked. It can't be done halfway. Each will have their own definition of what that constitutes. Finding that and maintaining that requires patience, understanding, compassion...all of the good things that are so often easily overlooked by someone on the outside looking in wanting to find a place to belong.
I was talking to someone online over the weekend. While I typically check a persons profile and posts to identify the asshats early on, he seemed to be genuine in his conversation. He asked me to explain BDSM, the concepts and the allure. I tried to explain it was highly individual, if he was truly interested to go to this board and read, read, read. What ended up happening was going round and round. He couldn't grasp what I was saying because he was not able to understand how it could have appeal in the first place. I believe it either clicks or it doesn't. Square pegs will never fit in round holes.
Are we really like what that person posted? No, undeniably not. To someone that does not have that drive, they try to classify it in terms that they can comprehend. Hence the doormat/asshole mentality. Ones that do may appear to not place importance on what is referred to as insignificant. We're human. We want something that pleases. We want to be pleasing. How many subs walk around with insecurities about if the one they feel they have connected with sees them as such? Wondering if they are able to be the submissive that will inspire the one they want to most of all? *Raises hand for having those moments.* However, I don't believe anyone jumps into taking this on as part of who they are without some serious self-reflection. In the process, you realize what is important to you. Some come to realize that it is not the wrappings but what is inside that matters most. Some look for what is inside but hold out until they find the package that catches their eye.
Does this attract people who are incapable of maintaining healthy relationships? Some may think that it will offer some protection. I doubt that they last long before scurrying back to the land of make believe. No matter the distance, the availability, or constraints it is a relationship. It holds importance to those involved. Like any relationship it will have its hurdles and trying times. Unlike just any relationship however there are unique levels that are added on top. It can't be faked. It can't be done halfway. Each will have their own definition of what that constitutes. Finding that and maintaining that requires patience, understanding, compassion...all of the good things that are so often easily overlooked by someone on the outside looking in wanting to find a place to belong.
Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
Just to clarify, are we calling LittleJade or DollParts a troll?
