Lack of Sex in the BDSM Scene

[naaki]

Some people get off on frustrating others and making them grouchy. Who is to say that the un-fulfillment of your needs might not be the fulfillment of someone else's?

In my experience, men tend to make excuses for the things they do or don't instead of being truthful- I actually know somebody like the -some people- you describe, he feared the fuck and tried to claim it was all part of his mojo.
He said mojo.

 

[rosco rathbone]

In my experience, men tend to make excuses for the things they do or don't instead of being truthful- I actually know somebody like the -some people- you describe, he feared the fuck and tried to claim it was all part of his mojo.
He said mojo.

I've known people like this as well. There are also people who just like to control, and the more YOU want something, the more it is going to please them to deny you.

And don't go stealin' my terminology!

 

[UCE]

I can't imagine why I would let anyone "BDSM" me if it did not eventually lead to my getting laid. Chastity makes me grouchy.

People are sure different. Enforced chastity turns me on (I mean full chastity--no masturbation outlet, either). The longer I have to go without relief, the more horny I get. I think the longest enforced chastity I experienced was 10 weeks. Doesn't sound like much, but it was at a time in my life, when, left to my own devices, I masturbated 4-5 times a day. So it was quite the interesting "hardship".

 

[UCE]

Re: Sex and BDSM

Well this is another time I am the old fart ...that learned to play by different rules.......

Anyway......BDSM is not swinging
and swinging is not BDSM
Though I have been in situations where both were present

I have heard some Doms talking about making there Submissives sex sluts etc.

From one old fart to another:

You're right Richard, BDSM is not swinging, nor is the converse true. But people, since the 1950s, have always seemed to try to combine the two. The hetero bdsm public social and party scenes arose directly out of the swinger scenes of the 60s and 70s. My SO, who is probably older than either of us, was a first-hand observer of that process.

I imagine what happened was that, as sex became freer and freer, some of the swingers didn't like the people doing the way-out kinky stuff, and some of the kinkys felt weird around the vanilla swingers, so they took off and started to hold their own parties.

Much later (80s) the hets started meeting the gays at the biker and leather bars, and the whole modern mixed (pansexual) scene was born and things started getting formalized with events like "Dressing for Pleasure" (I mention that one becuase it's one of the oldest) and the innumerable Mr/Ms. Leather contests.

I've never been a swinger or a bdsm party-goer (although I've had to attend a couple of such events, unfortunately--no offense to anyone else, I just don't personally like them) so I don't understand the appeal very well. I'm much more of a one-on-one person. And I _don't_ want to meet that other one at a party, lol. Just call me anti-social.

Unda