Let me be nice to you (limited time offer)

[WickedEve]

Yours in support of a happy and mutually supportive poetic community,

tz

Isn't this like some episode of the twilight zone where someone wishes for world peace and then everything gets totally fucked up? Or maybe we'll all turn into Stepford Poets. Or we'll find out that our poetry isn't made from real words, it's all soylent verse!!!

I'm scared.

 

[Tzara]

Isn't this like some episode of the twilight zone where someone wishes for world peace and then everything gets totally fucked up? Or maybe we'll all turn into Stepford Poets. Or we'll find out that our poetry isn't made from real words, it's all soylent verse!!!

I'm scared.

Now, now. Don't be scared. I am just trying to encourage poets with a supportive comment and good vote. We have been told that many have left because of bad votes and comments. I just want to do my part to reverse that.

I am surprised that more haven't taken me up on my offer of a guaranteed positive comment and vote. So far, it has only been poets who seem to tolerate ill comments. I find that puzzling. Maybe the shyer poets either do not trust me or haven't read this thread.

This is a straightforward offer, people. I am happy to tell you your poem is good. I want to tell you your poem is good. Call me (well, leave a link) and I will do so. Don't want to choose among my selection of positive remarks? Just tell me and I'll read your poem and pick the one I think is the best fit. I might even ad lib a bit, though I swear I'll vote a five. I like you. I really really like you. Let me help your climb onto the Top List. I want to help.

 

[WickedEve]

Let me help your climb onto the Top List.

You have the power to do that? Golly. That's so sexy. Please tell me that your heart is vibrating faster right now. I need to hear that.

 

[TheRainMan]

i protest.

this thread discriminate against masochists. suppose you crave ill comments? suppose they spur you on to great heights?

if someone doesn't tell me my poetry eats mule dick, i'm leaving here forever.

here, superhero. feel free to altar them and make them more barbarous, as you see fit, as each need for humiliation requires --

be kind to the lovers of pain too . . . show them the love.

(and don't think they're not here . . . oh, they're here all right . . . hurt me, hurt me)


1. This poem sucks. So do you. Eat a bag of shit.
2. What’s your IQ? I bet an espresso cup would fit your head like a sombrero.
3. That last writer I knew as bad as you had parents that were siblings. <har har>
4. Go back to school, and lay off the fuckin’ paint chips.
5. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date. <grinz>

 

[WickedEve]

i protest.

this thread discriminate against masochists. suppose you crave ill comments? suppose they spur you on to great heights?

if someone doesn't tell me my poetry eats mule dick, i'm leaving here forever.

here, superhero. feel free to altar them and make them more barbarous, as you see fit, as each need for humiliation requires --

be kind to the lovers of pain too . . . show them the love.

(and don't think they're not here . . . oh, they're here all right . . . hurt me, hurt me)


1. This poem sucks. So do you. Eat a bag of shit.
2. What’s your IQ? I bet an espresso cup would fit your head like a sombrero.
3. That last writer I knew as bad as you had parents that were siblings. <har har>
4. Go back to school, and lay off the fuckin’ paint chips.
5. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date. <grinz>

I like #4
So... is your body hair anything like that of a young orangutan's?

 

[Tzara]

You have the power to do that? Golly. That's so sexy. Please tell me that your heart is vibrating faster right now. I need to hear that.

That's another service from our consulting business. We connect to Lit from multiple IP address to foil Lit's insenstive and discriminatory policy of not allowing more than one vote per location and souse your poems with 5s. This service also offers our extended range of positive comments, where you can select commentary by category, such as "God, your poem made me hot! I had my first erection in years!" or "Our marriage is much stronger now since reading your poem. Phil and I have renewed our vows and are taking a trip to Dollywood."

And if my heart was vibrating any faster, I would require defibrillation.

Hey. You've had your comment for the day. Wait until tomorrow.

 

[tungtied2u]

Now, now. Don't be scared. I am just trying to encourage poets with a supportive comment and good vote. We have been told that many have left because of bad votes and comments. I just want to do my part to reverse that.

I am surprised that more haven't taken me up on my offer of a guaranteed positive comment and vote. So far, it has only been poets who seem to tolerate ill comments. I find that puzzling. Maybe the shyer poets either do not trust me or haven't read this thread.

This is a straightforward offer, people. I am happy to tell you your poem is good. I want to tell you your poem is good. Call me (well, leave a link) and I will do so. Don't want to choose among my selection of positive remarks? Just tell me and I'll read your poem and pick the one I think is the best fit. I might even ad lib a bit, though I swear I'll vote a five. I like you. I really really like you. Let me help your climb onto the Top List. I want to help.

This is a kind and generous offer. Don't think I'm not appreciative of your largesse.
But as much as I'd like to be self- serving and achieve some H's I know I deserve, I will instead throw my myself upon the merccies of the masses and simply implore them....

PLease, please, please...read and vote on my poems...please!



(Did that sound to needy....sorry...ooo..comments are nice too, but not necessary}

 

[TheRainMan]

I like #4
So... is your body hair anything like that of a young orangutan's?

you've been meeting my barber behind my back, haven't you.

that slut.

 

[WickedEve]

you've been meeting my barber behind my back, haven't you.

that slut.

How else am I going to acquire enough hair for the project?

 

[WickedEve]

That's another service from our consulting business. We connect to Lit from multiple IP address to foil Lit's insenstive and discriminatory policy of not allowing more than one vote per location and souse your poems with 5s. This service also offers our extended range of positive comments, where you can select commentary by category, such as "God, your poem made me hot! I had my first erection in years!" or "Our marriage is much stronger now since reading your poem. Phil and I have renewed our vows and are taking a trip to Dollywood."

And if my heart was vibrating any faster, I would require defibrillation.

Hey. You've had your comment for the day. Wait until tomorrow.

Right... interesting.
Sure.
I'm sorry. It's over. I know you have that heart thing, but Rainman has hair. So... bye bye.

 

[TheRainMan]

How else am I going to acquire enough hair for the project?

i'd give Tath's stylist a ring too.

 

[Liar]

Nice is nothing but a four letter word. Like golf.

 

[Angeline]

That's another service from our consulting business. We connect to Lit from multiple IP address to foil Lit's insenstive and discriminatory policy of not allowing more than one vote per location and souse your poems with 5s. This service also offers our extended range of positive comments, where you can select commentary by category, such as "God, your poem made me hot! I had my first erection in years!" or "Our marriage is much stronger now since reading your poem. Phil and I have renewed our vows and are taking a trip to Dollywood."

And if my heart was vibrating any faster, I would require defibrillation.

Hey. You've had your comment for the day. Wait until tomorrow.

I am recently certified in first aid and CPR, and am now skilled in using a defillibrator. Does this warrant a special comment: "My heart stopped and your poem started it again?" That would be #6. If so, please let me know and I will choose an appropriate poem.

 

[Tzara]

i protest.

this thread discriminate against masochists. suppose you crave ill comments? suppose they spur you on to great heights?

if someone doesn't tell me my poetry eats mule dick, i'm leaving here forever.

here, superhero. feel free to altar them and make them more barbarous, as you see fit, as each need for humiliation requires --

be kind to the lovers of pain too . . . show them the love.

(and don't think they're not here . . . oh, they're here all right . . . hurt me, hurt me)


1. This poem sucks. So do you. Eat a bag of shit.
2. What’s your IQ? I bet an espresso cup would fit your head like a sombrero.
3. That last writer I knew as bad as you had parents that were siblings. <har har>
4. Go back to school, and lay off the fuckin’ paint chips.
5. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date. <grinz>

Those aren't bad, but I am a positive person. I believe in building up, not tearing down. I am sorry that you feel the need to have your pmes trashed. Perhaps you might feel more comfortable on the BDSM thread?

I like your pmes and want to vote a five to show my support. You are a good poet.

 

[TheRainMan]

. . . I believe in building up, not tearing down. I am sorry that you feel the need to have your pmes trashed. Perhaps you might feel more comfortable on the BDSM thread?

I like your pmes and want to vote a five to show my support. You are a good poet.

lol.

you are one funny fuckin' superhero.

 

[Tzara]

I am recently certified in first aid and CPR, and am now skilled in using a defillibrator. Does this warrant a special comment: "My heart stopped and your poem started it again?" That would be #6. If so, please let me know and I will choose an appropriate poem.

Oh, hell. I so want to be supportive. If you have a poem for which you would like that comment and a 5 vote, post the link here. I would be happy to oblige. Think of it as a sampling of our custom consulting service.

Can I at least precede that comment with something like "So beautiful, it nearly broke my heart"?

 

[clutching_calliope]

.....

 

[Tzara]

I didn't want to seem desperate or wanting (and don't even say begging) but I'll take your company up on its unlimited happiness today.

Everyone could use a good stroking now and again; today can be your turn .

Feather-light, spank me.

You need to pick a comment, dear. From 1 to 5. They are all positive, so don't be shy. Pick which sentiment you best like.

 

[clutching_calliope]

.....

 

[Tzara]

There is no option 'All of the above', so I guess I'll settle for multiple choice. They all sound supportive and encouraging. Do your darndest. Impress me and I'll send you a big coporate donation.

All of my comments are good comments, positive comments.

I threw a die and got a one. So, as comment, I am done.

 

[clutching_calliope]

......

 

[Tzara]

Ah, thank you great guru of the positive blue chakra. My Feng Shui is feeling better already. (How do you throw a die with five sides?)

You ignore the sex, er, six.

 

[arienette]

I am recently certified in first aid and CPR, and am now skilled in using a defillibrator. Does this warrant a special comment: "My heart stopped and your poem started it again?" That would be #6. If so, please let me know and I will choose an appropriate poem.

Ooooh, I am definitely in favor of that one!
*scurries off to find a poem near obtaining an H*

 

[clutching_calliope]

......

 

[annaswirls]

This is too funny, I love it.
Hey, my vibe died too - What the hell?!

it is a conspiracy. mine died in a tragic washing machine accident. the thing was water-proof but that was pushing it.

okay, so do you take pay-pal for these comments?