Let me be nice to you (limited time offer)

[Guest]

it is a conspiracy. mine died in a tragic washing machine accident. the thing was water-proof but that was pushing it.

okay, so do you take pay-pal for these comments?

Ya'll need better vibes...or back massagers or something. Uhm, like I would know...just sayin.

 

[Tzara]

I've tried doing that but it only works one sixth of the time, save Sundays as a bonus play. At least this is my reasoning behind all that Saturday night sex. (Not mine, of course )

I sometimes feel so clueless, like I'm missing out on some mass erotic experience that takes place all over the globe while I'm sitting at home with my slippered feet tucked up underneath me, eating greasy popcorn and watching reruns on Turner Classic Movies. Oh, look! It's the first version of The Maltese Falcon with Bette Davis! My! Doesn't she look young!

Middle age. It's so what's not for dinner.

 

[clutching_calliope]

.....

 

[Tzara]

Depends on who's doing the eating .

(and no, everyone is far too busy typing to have sex. Don't be fooled.)

That's odd. I'm suddenly hungry.

 

[arienette]

it is a conspiracy. mine died in a tragic washing machine accident. the thing was water-proof but that was pushing it.

okay, so do you take pay-pal for these comments?

Why were you trying to wash it in the machine?

 

[annaswirls]

Ya'll need better vibes...or back massagers or something. Uhm, like I would know...just sayin.

my dog ate my purple back massager.



so I bought blue

 

[annaswirls]

Why were you trying to wash it in the machine?

I left it in my pocket by accident!

 

[annaswirls]

I would like a number 1, but could you please misspell "write" to help me feel better about own grammar isues?

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=275436

In order to strike a blow for decency against the hordes of evil trolls and snotty elitist poets who delight in leaving caustic and insulting comments on poems and drive scores down by voting 2s or even 1s, I would like to offer my services as a happy commentator on your poem. Leave me a link to your poem and select from one of the encouraging and supportive comments in the list below and I will brighten your day by leaving you Positive Feedback(TM) and a sparkling 5 vote that is guaranteed to lift both your spirits and your score.

Choose from among these carefully crafted, heartfelt comments:

1. Beautiful poem. Your writing always touches my soul. ~~thank you~~
2. Wonderful! A lovely, heartfelt write.
3. Touched my soul. Your writing is so beautiful! More, please!
4. Breathtaking and beautiful. Deep feelings, wonderfully expressed.
5. Captivating!!! It is as if you see straight into my heart. ~Thx~

No one should be without some comments that they would be proud to show to even that cranky old English teacher who always complained about your spelling and syntax. What is there to lose but your pride? Try Positive Feedback(TM) today!




Note: due to bandwidth and cheeriness limitations, I will only be able to respond to the first three (3) requests each day that I am online. This is a limited time offer and will expire September 30, 2006. Void where prohibited. Employees of Positive Feedback, LLC and their family members are explicitly excluded from this offer. Sorry—only one poem per poet per day. Each day begins at 12:00 AM, Pacific Time. Comments remain the property of Positive Feedback, LLC and may not be used by other posters. For information on franchise opportunities, please contact Positive Feedback, LLC.

Copyright 2006, Positive Feedback, LLC

 

[annaswirls]

Could you please give me a mean one to counteract the warm feeling I get from Tzara. I am hoping the two of you can play on my emotions so much that I lose control of my bodily functions some of us need both.

I cannot decide if I want You to capitalize Your pronouns....

hmm.

i protest.

this thread discriminate against masochists. suppose you crave ill comments? suppose they spur you on to great heights?

if someone doesn't tell me my poetry eats mule dick, i'm leaving here forever.

here, superhero. feel free to altar them and make them more barbarous, as you see fit, as each need for humiliation requires --

be kind to the lovers of pain too . . . show them the love.

(and don't think they're not here . . . oh, they're here all right . . . hurt me, hurt me)


1. This poem sucks. So do you. Eat a bag of shit.
2. What’s your IQ? I bet an espresso cup would fit your head like a sombrero.
3. That last writer I knew as bad as you had parents that were siblings. <har har>
4. Go back to school, and lay off the fuckin’ paint chips.
5. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date. <grinz>

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Done, though you have voting turned off so I couldn't leave a 5 for you. :sad:

Though I must say, Ms. Hynde, that I begin to suspect that your detractors' complaints may have some grounding in fact. Do you mock me and my offer of generous and unbiased encouragement? I feel I may be being costumed as a fool.

Oh, well. Comes with the territory.

Eve was the one that made me write the poem over three years ago and it had no comments.

 

[eagleyez]

Could you please give me a mean one to counteract the warm feeling I get from Tzara. I am hoping the two of you can play on my emotions so much that I lose control of my bodily functions some of us need both.

I cannot decide if I want You to capitalize Your pronouns....

hmm.

rain man has been reading my poems.

 

[WickedEve]

my dog ate my purple back massager.



so I bought blue

Stuff like that happens. I have a vibrating, yellow duck--water proof. Kids found it and put in the bath tub. It's been their bath toy for over 2 years. I never touch it anymore. It would be way too creepy.

 

[Angeline]

Oh, hell. I so want to be supportive. If you have a poem for which you would like that comment and a 5 vote, post the link here. I would be happy to oblige. Think of it as a sampling of our custom consulting service.

Can I at least precede that comment with something like "So beautiful, it nearly broke my heart"?

Oh hell, with that kind of offer I think I'll write a NEW poem and submit it here. I haven't done that in ages, but I'm giddy with the thought of two days off in a row.

Stay tuned--and remember you owe me a heart-breaking 5 (even if my poem is crap).

Gosh you're a strange one. I like that in a poet.

 

[Tzara]

I would like a number 1, but could you please misspell "write" to help me feel better about own grammar isues?

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=275436

Done, but please note that customization of comments limits the scalability of Positive Feedback(TM). Our intent is to make everyone happy, and only mass production of our helpful and encouraging comments makes this possible.

 

[annaswirls]

Done, but please note that customization of comments limits the scalability of Positive Feedback(TM). Our intent is to make everyone happy, and only mass production of our helpful and encouraging comments makes this possible.

do you come in pill form?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

do you come in pill form?

Or in pie!

Happiness and sunbeams and cute little puppy dogs
These are the things that I've seen with my heart
Life is a happy game if you don't forget to smile
But every now and then, your face it harbours a frown

Sadness is a barnacle, clinging to your bright boat
You won't let it sink your spirits if you'll only learn to float
We are all sea captains, sailing on life's rough seas
Come all you Magellans, come with me I've got pie
Happiness pie

Happy tailors, happy workers, happy farmers, happy girls
Happy widowers, happy freelance artists, happy welders, happy world
Happy drinkers, happy thinkers, happy musicians, happy beauticians
Happy mayors, happy pears, happy call girls, happy hula boys

Happiness pie
Pie pie pie pie
Happiness pie​

 

[Angeline]

Or in pie!

Happiness and sunbeams and cute little puppy dogs
These are the things that I've seen with my heart
Life is a happy game if you don't forget to smile
But every now and then, your face it harbours a frown

Sadness is a barnacle, clinging to your bright boat
You won't let it sink your spirits if you'll only learn to float
We are all sea captains, sailing on life's rough seas
Come all you Magellans, come with me I've got pie
Happiness pie

Happy tailors, happy workers, happy farmers, happy girls
Happy widowers, happy freelance artists, happy welders, happy world
Happy drinkers, happy thinkers, happy musicians, happy beauticians
Happy mayors, happy pears, happy call girls, happy hula boys

Happiness pie
Pie pie pie pie
Happiness pie​

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Done, though you have voting turned off so I couldn't leave a 5 for you. :sad:

That's OK. It still felt as if you had voted a 6!

 

[flyguy69]

In order to strike a blow for decency against the hordes of evil trolls and snotty elitist poets who delight in leaving caustic and insulting comments on poems and drive scores down by voting 2s or even 1s, I would like to offer my services as a happy commentator on your poem. Leave me a link to your poem and select from one of the encouraging and supportive comments in the list below and I will brighten your day by leaving you Positive Feedback(TM) and a sparkling 5 vote that is guaranteed to lift both your spirits and your score.

Choose from among these carefully crafted, heartfelt comments:

1. Beautiful poem. Your writing always touches my soul. ~~thank you~~
2. Wonderful! A lovely, heartfelt write.
3. Touched my soul. Your writing is so beautiful! More, please!
4. Breathtaking and beautiful. Deep feelings, wonderfully expressed.
5. Captivating!!! It is as if you see straight into my heart. ~Thx~

No one should be without some comments that they would be proud to show to even that cranky old English teacher who always complained about your spelling and syntax. What is there to lose but your pride? Try Positive Feedback(TM) today!




Note: due to bandwidth and cheeriness limitations, I will only be able to respond to the first three (3) requests each day that I am online. This is a limited time offer and will expire September 30, 2006. Void where prohibited. Employees of Positive Feedback, LLC and their family members are explicitly excluded from this offer. Sorry—only one poem per poet per day. Each day begins at 12:00 AM, Pacific Time. Comments remain the property of Positive Feedback, LLC and may not be used by other posters. For information on franchise opportunities, please contact Positive Feedback, LLC.

Copyright 2006, Positive Feedback, LLC

The Hallmark Store of Literotica!

Do you have one for my nephew's Bar Mitzvah poem? Something that says I'm impressed enough to buy you a card, but not enough to give you the money I spent on the card?

 

[cherries_on_snow]

Trade?

Oh hey, could I trade this coupon in for some other offer? I'd prefer genuine feedback on my writing (which you have given--thanks!) so could I trade this in for something else? .

 

[Never]

Can I get number 4 for RS's self-referential?

 

[Tzara]

Can I get number 4 for RS's self-referential?

Well, no. Sorry. I really hate to say this, but Positive Feedback(TM) is contracturally limited to respond to author requests, lest it be looked at as spam or some other loathsome clingy feedback thing.

I would be more than happy to leave a positive comment on Ms. Skye's "self-referential", however. She may request a comment her own self, or I'll just read her poem and comment as I see fit (however odd and subject to the random contempt of public vote that sentiment may seem).

Thank your for you inquiry about our professional services. Have a nice day.

 

[Tzara]

Can I get number 4 for RS's self-referential?

I forgot. Way cool av.

I'm scared to go to sleep now.

 

[MyNecroticSnail]

I'm jealous
but howcum nobody did average?
3. well, it was ok
3. hardly any punkceration or spelling problems
3. I understood it on the first read
3. like luke warm soup with spinach in it
3. didn't hit the heart, but close, caught the nipple

 

[arienette]

So does this offer still stand?
If so, I'll take a #4 right here.