Loving Wives

[robertreams]

Romantic love is a fiction of the romance era, before that, people were married becuse they were told to or forced to, or were pregnant. (In Shakespeare's day, most women gor married because they were already pregnant. People married for protection or status or because they were forced.)

In the early colonial days in the U.S., the #1 reason for marriage was usually pregnancy. And usually they were not marrying the fathers of their children.

None of the reasons for the monogamy that followed such marriages exist today. And even so: we are talking about stories folks, fantasies, NOT REALITY! Is there a man (or woman) out there who will claim he never had a fantasy about another sex partner, not even "adultery" in his mind or heart?

I don't believe anyone is so boring.

 

[TQM]

further thoughts.....

Surprised - in some ways - to see this thread has had a life of its own. I wish to comment on gabbaa's post here:

TQM's original submission to this thread was very thought-provoking and the subsequent comments are most interesting. They highlight the very important distinction between fantasy-'It's only a story' and believability i.e. realism. Fantasies of cheating or spouse-sharing are common and, no doubt, enjoyable for many who haven't personally been damaged by them, However, making Loving Wives credible is very difficult if the author chooses to ignore the nasty realities of real-life cheating or spouse-sharing. And nasty they are-I have spent the last 15 years clearing up the wreckage of divorces or trying to minimise the damage by appropriate pre or post-nuptial contracts.

Firstly I (and my colleagues in the partnership) would strongly resist the notion that there is an increased tolerance for cheating. We have seen no sign of it and the published statistics don't support it. The parties to a solemn contract have a immutable right to expect that it will be honored-indeed this is a fundamental requirement of most societies. Consequently people expect cheaters to be punished and are unsatisfied if they 'get away with it'. Furthermore cheaters hurt others and, naturally, society doesn't like that either. It isn't really a question of whether they are 'wicked' but rather that they are behaving in a way which, if widespread, undermines the fabric of human relations. Consequently the natural desire for offenders to be punished is not decreasing, nor will it as long as humans interact with one another by entering voluntarily into contracts. In LW terms the bitch doesn't have to be beaten but she sure should suffer. Having seen a fair number of 'attractive, bright and usually successful' (TQM's words) husbands and wives destroy their marriages and their spouse's and children's lives I have to say that they are often more than usually self-centered, they put their own desires ahead of their families', they don't fully appreciate the likelihood that they will be found out and they have a quite absurd belief that 'it's OK if no-one else knows about it'. It's also incredible that these bright people never seem to have a contingency plan to handle the moment when suspicions start to be aroused. Incidentally in our experience cheaters are often found out because cheating is so much easier to justify to themselves the second and subsequent times so the opportunities for discovery rise rapidly. However many marriages stagger on, seriously wounded or permanently maimed and, therefore, with a lot of regrets, because the costs of divorce both emotionally and financially are so high. Conversely it is always grimly amusing to hear from those who have gone through a divorce that 'In retrospect it was a good thing'. In most of these cases the dispassionate observer, even a divorce lawyer, might seriously disagree. A very expensive mistake is still that.

There appears to be an early indication, in the US and Canada at least, that divorce rates are falling. If our experience is any guide (and I recognise that it may not be) the reasons for this are clear. Fewer people are choosing to get married and, inevitably, the ones whose personalities make them less willing to commit (and more likely to cheat) are avoiding marriage. However, the chances of a marriage failing are still 40% to 50 % in the US and cheating is still a significant cause. incidentally for all you cuckolding fans, the chances of divorce among those who voluntarily share their spouses are several times higher. This accords with common sense-the more your spouse samples others the greater their chance of finding someone they prefer over you. So don't run away with the idea that sharing your spouse shows maturity or security-it actually shows total lack of realism in the face of the facts, if you share them you have an overwhelming chance of losing them eventually.

So for us believability fans, if you are going to try to get us excited by a sexual encounter you should try to avoid suggesting that in the background there is an innocent family who could be badly hurt That isn't a sexy thought. Similarly, if you are trying to write a credible cuckolding story rather than a total fantasy, admittedly very difficult, you need to consider and address the reality that the chances of a marriage surviving much of that sort of thing are small. Otherwise, in both cases, the reader says, 'Too unrealistic to be credible'. It's no coincidence, I feel, that many of the most highly regarded Literotica writers deliver on these requirements.

1. Contrary to the above, there may well be a correlation between wealth and infidelity. At the very least, it isn't hard to imagine that those who are well off, may well have the ability to have more free time to pursue extramarital activities. Historically, well off men certainly had mistresses.

2. The idea that cheaters are somehow more selfish simply holds no water, and isn't something that can't be measured in any meaningful way. I know a guy who collects model cars and has purchased so many, his basement is a shrine to these toys. They have not increased in value - weren't purchased as an investment. And the wife shares no interest in them - thinks it weird her husband is so into toy model cars (Hot Wheels, amongst them.) He has so many, he can no longer display them all, and now keeps most of his collection in boxes. To me, when a hobby impedes - you're being selfish. Watching sports every week - an interest not shared by your spouse; not watching whatever it is she watches - you can say acting on these interests is selfish. There are many many reasons men an women cheat - and one of them is selfishness; but it's only one. There can be other bad reasons for cheating - revenge, for instance. Cheating could also be a consequence of frustration in life. But there is no reason it can't be simply the result of a surrendering to lust either, in circumstances previously not imagined. It could be out of a dissatisfaction over aspects of one's life. It could be out of realization that middle age has hit - a mid-life crisis; and the insecurity these emotions bring.

It's healthy to find other people attractive. It's healthy to be aware of how you're feeling toward that other person. But it's selfish to act on those feelings? Not necessarily.

3. Very few actually want to hurt someone by cheating - but I'm sure there are such cases. But the "extramarital" aspect of cheating clearly does make it more exciting in most cases for the participants. It makes them feel naughtier.

4. I'd guess most cases of cheating are never discovered.

5. What percent of men have been to a strip club, massage parlour, escort, etc. while married? I mean seriously now. Painting with such broad brushstrokes always leads to overgeneralizations. Actually, I think women have more common sense then men, if they are going to be unfaithful, they are more likely to go for it, than go to a strip club, massage parlour or pay for it. Why take half-steps (like strip clubs)?

6. Sure - cheating can cause a family a lot of pain. There are trust issues at play - but none of them really well thought out. It's more of a primal feeling. Then there's the insult aspect - "I guess he/she thinks I'm not good enough." But even this logic doesn't necessarily hold true - it all depends on the reasons for the unfaithful act in the first place, and their can be many.

7. Anyway - not really disagreeing; but not agreeing either. Things are complicated; things aren't so black and white. How could they be, really?

8. It's become a fairly strange thread.

 

[sawann]

Response to TQM

'Very few actually want to hurt someone by cheating'

I think you have unwittingly confirmed gabaa's point that in his(her?) experience cheaters are more than usually selfish. 'Selfish' is usually defined as 'lacking consideration for others.' gabaa's point in his contribution (which I thought was excellent) was that the cheaters he deals with rarely consider how the offended person will feel before they cheat-just as you said too. That's called 'lacking consideration for others'.

I'm reminded of a drunk driver arraigned for causing serious injury to another person.
"But I never intended to hurt anyone" he says (and "It was rather exciting to drive so fast!" he may think). Quite so.

Your initial contribution was thought-provoking but, frankly I didn't think your response to gabaa was very persuasive. You suggested that he said several things that I'm not convinced that he said at all. Also you didn't deal with his major point-that marriage is an agreement (and a solemn agreement given the public forum in which vows are exchanged); if one party breaks an agreement(whether marriage or any other kind) without notifying the other party first, particularly if they try to hide it, that is usually regarded very unfavourably by other people. A society where people are free to break their solemn agreements unilaterally would soon break down. Furthermore the offended party often gets very angry indeed-good business for lawyers no doubt!

 

[TQM]

'Very few actually want to hurt someone by cheating'

I think you have unwittingly confirmed gabaa's point that in his(her?) experience cheaters are more than usually selfish. 'Selfish' is usually defined as 'lacking consideration for others.' gabaa's point in his contribution (which I thought was excellent) was that the cheaters he deals with rarely consider how the offended person will feel before they cheat-just as you said too. That's called 'lacking consideration for others'.

I'm reminded of a drunk driver arraigned for causing serious injury to another person.
"But I never intended to hurt anyone" he says (and "It was rather exciting to drive so fast!" he may think). Quite so.

Your initial contribution was thought-provoking but, frankly I didn't think your response to gabaa was very persuasive. You suggested that he said several things that I'm not convinced that he said at all. Also you didn't deal with his major point-that marriage is an agreement (and a solemn agreement given the public forum in which vows are exchanged); if one party breaks an agreement(whether marriage or any other kind) without notifying the other party first, particularly if they try to hide it, that is usually regarded very unfavourably by other people. A society where people are free to break their solemn agreements unilaterally would soon break down. Furthermore the offended party often gets very angry indeed-good business for lawyers no doubt!

Sawaan - You claim (via Gabaa) that cheaters rarely consider how the offended person will feel. Look - cheaters don't think there will be an offended person - they don't expect to get caught! Why should they be considering how they would feel, when they think, as is usually the case, they won't get caught? I mean really, now. This isn't lacking in consideration - they in fact are full of consideration to not hurt anyone by covering their tracks.

Yes - I agree with you marriage is an agreement. But I've pointed out now several times roughly 50% of men or more break this aspect of the agreement while trying to keep to the other terms of this agreement - and close to that number of women break this aspect as well. Deal with it. I've tried to explain why they break that agreement - and pointed out the reasons are complicated and don't just result out of selfishness.

A side point - a surprising # of marriages don't end when infidelity is discovered.

 

[CyranoJ]

Question about the LW category for the more seasoned among us:

I'm contemplating a "cheating wife" story involving a married lesbian couple... or rather, involving one half of a "lesbian" couple who is actually bi, and who decides to fake going to a sperm bank while actually getting her sperm from a virile nonwhite male (the tensions involved being similar overall to those of the Ohio lesbian couple who infamously sued a sperm bank for giving them nonwhite sperm). I don't suppose there are a lot of LW stories involving same-sex couples and tensions -- is this best treated in the Lesbian or Interracial categories?

 

[Hypoxia]

Question about the LW category for the more seasoned among us:

I'm contemplating a "cheating wife" story involving a married lesbian couple... or rather, involving one half of a "lesbian" couple who is actually bi, and who decides to fake going to a sperm bank while actually getting her sperm from a virile nonwhite male (the tensions involved being similar overall to those of the Ohio lesbian couple who infamously sued a sperm bank for giving them nonwhite sperm). I don't suppose there are a lot of LW stories involving same-sex couples and tensions -- is this best treated in the Lesbian or Interracial categories?

Depends on what kinds of reactions you can handle. If you post it in LW you'll get MANY views and comments, much more than in any other relevant category. If you want to push readers' buttons, LW is the place for it.

 

[likegoodwine]

Exactly!

Quite simply it is a rich source of emotional turmoil. That is what is important to me.

Sometimes I'll put a story in Romance if that is the main theme of the story. To tell the truth my stories rarely fit one particular category and LW seems to be my catch all.

Getting angry comments is quite easy. All you have to do is write a story where the husband is not a Charles Bronson type but also not a willing cuckold. Many readers demand direct punishment. They find it difficult to accept that moving on and living a good life is the best form of revenge.

As Deyaken wrote, that category is a perfect place for some stories that deals with romance (two soul-mates) and emotional turmoil (betrayal by a person you believed to be your soul mate). I read many other type of stories but then got hooked on the LW stories, reading guys like JPB, Harddaysknights, Ohio, The Celt, etc. The emotion from these authors is awesome.
I received my share of criticism mostly warranted when it was in regard of the grammar, the spelling, and the story plot. However, I wrote many stories that are more tongue in cheek (sorry, I missed the anus there) and there is a prevalent lack of sense of humor across the board. I don't cater for a crowd or the other, I only cater to another stupid idea that crosses my mind and ask to be put down on paper (What if the husband talk about a pussy and really means a cat? That gives you "Little Kitten"). I ventured a bit in other categories, but always come back to LW.

 

[bogusguy]

People still want to believe in the sanctity of marriage. I know reading about a wife's infidelity is more disturbing simply because it shows it could happen to me. Thankfully, that wasn't the cause of my divorce.

 

[DeYaKen]

As Deyaken wrote, that category is a perfect place for some stories that deals with romance (two soul-mates) and emotional turmoil (betrayal by a person you believed to be your soul mate). I read many other type of stories but then got hooked on the LW stories, reading guys like JPB, Harddaysknights, Ohio, The Celt, etc. The emotion from these authors is awesome.
I received my share of criticism mostly warranted when it was in regard of the grammar, the spelling, and the story plot. However, I wrote many stories that are more tongue in cheek (sorry, I missed the anus there) and there is a prevalent lack of sense of humor across the board. I don't cater for a crowd or the other, I only cater to another stupid idea that crosses my mind and ask to be put down on paper (What if the husband talk about a pussy and really means a cat? That gives you "Little Kitten"). I ventured a bit in other categories, but always come back to LW.

Ho Ho. There is indeed a marked lack of a sense of humour on Lit. I often think that is why Spyke doesn't do as well as he should. Include a bit of irony and you need to put a health warning on the story. I wrote a story called Smoking Kills (a play on the wording of government health warnings) It was a joke, written in a tongue through cheek manner. I got angry comments from smokers, praise from the BTB crowd, and Frontlinecaster reported it as a snuff story (it wasn't) and got it taken down. Very few people saw it as a joke.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

People still want to believe in the sanctity of marriage. I know reading about a wife's infidelity is more disturbing simply because it shows it could happen to me. Thankfully, that wasn't the cause of my divorce.

I'm 66 years old and here to say marital fidelity is a delusion. Those who remain true-blue have no real access to others. Prople stay together for real world pragmatic reasons.

 

[Everyday_Man]

I'm 66 years old and here to say marital fidelity is a delusion. Those who remain true-blue have no real access to others. Prople stay together for real world pragmatic reasons.

I'm 34 James and there is not a day that goes by my Grandma doesn't mention Vern (her husband, my grandfather I never knew) ... stop trying to bring life down.

 

[DamagedDude]

Hello,
I wrote Marriage Anonymous and posted it in Loving Wives. I thought it was funny, was I wrong?
I like the LV category because it is so emotional. I have recently (the last few years) come to the conclusion that what makes a story, song, or movie memorable, is the emotion in it, the way it makes the reader, listener, or watcher FEEL. And some of the Loving Wives stories hurt. Sometimes they hurt a lot.

 

[Everyday_Man]

I have story in my head, twirling around, dancing a bit ... about a wife who loves her husband, adores him, can't think of life without him .... but spends much of her time trying to find men to fuck (that was crude) ... she's not dumb, she doesn't depend on her husband, (this is a mutual thing) most of the idea is her trying to find men, so there is about 4 scenes that's nothing but flirting and one sex scene (hoping it's a hot) ... but you never know.

Is the loving wife category nothing but cheating wives? ... why does it get a bad rap (from what I'm seeing on the forums?)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm 34 James and there is not a day that goes by my Grandma doesn't mention Vern (her husband, my grandfather I never knew) ... stop trying to bring life down.

Youre a romantic naïf.

Back when I was 18 in Vietnam, one of the guys protested how sex wasn't THAT important to his wife. Another man replied...CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND GET BACK TO US.

 

[Everyday_Man]

Youre a romantic naïf.

Back when I was 18 in Vietnam, one of the guys protested how sex wasn't THAT important to his wife. Another man replied...CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND GET BACK TO US.

Now that is funny.

 

[Everyday_Man]

Naif? .... After looking that up ... I just maybe one.

 

[gordo12]

Is the loving wife category nothing but cheating wives? ... why does it get a bad rap (from what I'm seeing on the forums?)

Nope swingers, hot wives and other forms of "wife lovin". The wives are "luvin" but generally someone else. There are two groups, the Burn the Bitch (BTB) group and the "Reconciliation" group, and they disagree violently sometimes on the outcome of stories.

Throw in the religious wackos and those with the mentality of a neanderthal or the corrupt morals of conservatives clashing with those of a democrat and let them all post as anons where they can say anything they ever wanted...

Did I mention the cucks..... :-(

It's quite the stew and boils over frequently. Best free entertainment on the net!

Ordinary loving wife and husband stories (which don't belong there) would put you to sleep after that.

 

[Everyday_Man]

It's quite the stew and boils over frequently. Best free entertainment on the net!

Ordinary loving wife and husband stories (which don't belong there) would put you to sleep after that.

That sounds like a challenge ... who can write the best story about a wife who actually has sex with her husband. Makes him desire it.

 

[gordo12]

That sounds like a challenge ... who can write the best story about a wife who actually has sex with her husband. Makes him desire it.

Please noooo I use stories like that for insomnia. The last thing I want is erotic. I mean really with your wife ewwwww! Where's the fun?

 

[Everyday_Man]

Please noooo I use stories like that for insomnia. The last thing I want is erotic. I mean really with your wife ewwwww! Where's the fun?

If your wife is not the person you look forward to waking up too ... why bother getting married? ... A wife is beautiful, comforting, she should make your life easier (and you should for her) ... wives are what make growing old worth doing.

 

[gordo12]

If your wife is not the person you look forward to waking up too ... why bother getting married? ... A wife is beautiful, comforting, she should make your life easier (and you should for her) ... wives are what make growing old worth doing.

You see how easy it is to get wound up over wives.

My wife is the love of my life now for close to 30 years and I couldn't imagine a day without her although the part about making my life easier.....

The previous thread was a little tongue in cheek!

 

[Everyday_Man]

You see how easy it is to get wound up over wives.

My wife is the love of my life now for close to 30 years and I couldn't imagine a day without her

I think I get your point ... consider me humbled.

 

[gordo12]

I think I get your point ... consider me humbled.

No please no. Not trying for that at all. The LW thing is a real cesspool in so many ways. It's good that you asked!

 

[blin18]

Nope swingers, hot wives and other forms of "wife lovin". The wives are "luvin" but generally someone else. There are two groups, the Burn the Bitch (BTB) group and the "Reconciliation" group, and they disagree violently sometimes on the outcome of stories.

Throw in the religious wackos and those with the mentality of a neanderthal or the corrupt morals of conservatives clashing with those of a democrat and let them all post as anons where they can say anything they ever wanted...

Did I mention the cucks..... :-(

It's quite the stew and boils over frequently. Best free entertainment on the net!

Ordinary loving wife and husband stories (which don't belong there) would put you to sleep after that.

Bless you gordo12. Honest to God, I had no idea what I was getting into when I posted in LW, and you've just summed it up for me in a few lines.

That sounds like a challenge ... who can write the best story about a wife who actually has sex with her husband. Makes him desire it.

Which is what I did (tried?). Actually the commentary has been mostly great. I might just come back to LW again.

 

[gordo12]

Bless you gordo12. Honest to God, I had no idea what I was getting into when I posted in LW, and you've just summed it up for me in a few lines.

Which is what I did (tried?). Actually the commentary has been mostly great. I might just come back to LW again.

The commentary was great because frankly that was one of the best short stories I've ever read in LW. You have a writing talent that is breathtaking. I am especially impressed because your profile indicates you are a student doing erotic creative writing for practise.

If anyone wants to see a story that is creative, erotic, humorous with well balanced sexual tension that builds throughout the entire 5* story read hers.

I marked your profile and plan on heading back and reading more of your stories.