Making Changes

[SubKekiLee]

I recently had a conversation that brought up failings. Weaknesses. Things to improve. There are traits within myself I want to change and for me that means making adjustments personally. The thought of changing for someone else or being monitored by another makes me antsy. Sorta independent that way

What I'm wondering is how comfortable people are with having negative traits pointed out? Is it ok for a sub to point out the paunch? A master to suggest dance lesson? A friend to give you an honest answer about her interpretation of your IQ level when it comes to dating?

How do people deal with criticism? And do you think it's ok to make changes in yourself based on another's opinion?

With the D/s dynamic it seems it would be natural for one person to exert influence over another's activities. Do PYLs use their position for betterment of their subs? Do pyls make suggestions or take action to 'improve' their partner?

Do you think people are actually able to accept others as they are? Or is there a persistent desire to change someone else for the better? And if so is that ok?

Feel free to answer all or part...I know I'm rambling a bit lol...but any insight as to how people accept criticism and respond would be very helpful. Thanks in advance.

I dont deal with criticism very well either most of the time I guess it depends on how it presented to me, I hate to be admonished but sometimes it is neccessary lately I have had to have that kind of criticism from MY Sir and those closest to me from the stuff I am going thru and the things going on in my life, and letting people take advantage of me and my niceness and that. As to accepting as you are I think you should be accepted as you and people should love you as you are, now as to your health should someone try to help you become healthier yes, cause if you were to leave them then they didnt do their job to look after you ... Do I think pyls should suggest to change thier partner, again if it is for health reasons I think suggestions should be made ( ie: I made a bet with My Sir in February about whoever lost 25# first won whatever they wanted he agreed but when I wont he said he never bet.. hahaha) but It was all in fun and jest and we had a great time doing it.. and he is SO proud of me for losing the weight but he has told me numerous times I didnt have to do it for him, and Ive told him I didnt do it for him, I did it for me.. and for my health and for my kids.. If he suggested I take something Id take it as he has my best interest at hand, he would only tell me to do something like if it were going to improve me somehow.

I wholeheartedly agree with this post. Once that's done tho, once you've decided you want this person in your life, with the knowledge that people do change over time...

1) how much influence do you give them to shape your view of yourself?
I gave him my heart and soul when I became his submissive but I see someone completely different than he does He helps me see the woman he see he wont take credit for that. He says he only showed me the door.. that I walked through it on my own and he was waiting on the other side for me..

2) how much influence do you have over them to help them make positive changes?
I think I have some influence over him in making positive changes in his life but he has grown so much in his life long before I came into his life.. He didnt need me to grow..but I encourage him to be better in everything he does


3) is D2MLG's interpretation of a relationship sound in that you view a relationship as an opportunity to bring out the best in your partner? and have them bring out the best in you? YES, I believe wholeheartedly that relationships should be just that an opportunity to bring out the best in each other and nurture and flourish.

4) for those who have trouble accepting criticism...why? and how do you respond as a result?

I do have trouble with criticism if it is presented wrongly, it is presently constructively and properly I can normally adjust to it and listen to it and follow it well. and take it as it presented to me but It isnt always easy and there has been times Ive not taken it well and I sulk and pout or cry or get defensive, but within the time Ive been with Sir.. He has shown me I dont need to be so defensive all the time that I can take criticism and grow with it..

this is my opinion only YMMV