Marriage

[Black13]

Not married. Was married. It sucked. In a good relationship now, we have both been married, we know life pulls people in crazy directions, and we're not in a big hurry.

That being said, I have nothing against it. It's like a government job: good for some people, not so much for others.

 

[MWildhack]

Completely blissed out in my marriage. 9 yrs together and honestly can't say one single not amazing thing about it. Not that we don't have our moments but I married someone I don't just love...I also really really like him. And I am loved and liked in return and completely free to be the person I am without fear of abandonment or admonishment.

Plus he shags me rotten LOL.

 

[suckonsimon]

Completely blissed out in my marriage. 9 yrs together and honestly can't say one single not amazing thing about it. Not that we don't have our moments but I married someone I don't just love...I also really really like him. And I am loved and liked in return and completely free to be the person I am without fear of abandonment or admonishment.

Plus he shags me rotten LOL.

M, I love what you say!

 

[Paul_Chance]

Not married. Not interested in getting married. I'm single, sometimes aggressively so, and I'm promiscuous, sometimes more than others. I don't have anything against marriage, but I know myself well enough to know it's not for me.

I've got nothing against marriage. I have friends that it works very well for. But, I also have more friends that are divorced, bitter, and broke when the dream and the reality crashed.

I have no fear of commitment - I am a deeply committed friend and lover, having several LTR's, some of which are hard to understand, much less explain. Live and love as honestly as you can and you'll find happiness and more.

 

[phil_o]

who said

Marriage is an institution, and who wants to live in an institution!!

Married long term girlfriend after living with each other and was the best days work I have done, more then happy to commit.

 

[Mindfondler]

I've been married for 21 years. It suits me perfectly, as it does my wife. We can do things together and be recognised as "Mr & Mrs [MF]", but we also have individual interests that we pursue separately. We take an ongoing interest in each other's passions, and we give each other time and space to pursue them. We enjoy each other's company, but we're not dependent on it all of the time. We have friends in common and friends that we've each made separately, and we welcome the latter becoming the former. We don't appear to have jealousy issues, and we don't check up on each other, not so much because we trust each other (although obviously we do), but rather because we each trust ourselves.

In short, marriage provides us with a legitimate framework, but it doesn't provide all of the answers. Many things still have to be worked out between the partners in the relationship whatever its formal status.

That's how it works for us, anyway. Obviously, your mileage may vary.
.

 

[SexyinCali22]

I'm not married but I have a feeling he'll be proposing soon. And I can't wait to get married. :]

 

[missmaddy]

Not married. Maybe someday if Mr. Right ever appears. In the meantime...

 

[justashygirl]

I've been married for 21 years. It suits me perfectly, as it does my wife. We can do things together and be recognised as "Mr & Mrs [MF]", but we also have individual interests that we pursue separately. We take an ongoing interest in each other's passions, and we give each other time and space to pursue them. We enjoy each other's company, but we're not dependent on it all of the time. We have friends in common and friends that we've each made separately, and we welcome the latter becoming the former. We don't appear to have jealousy issues, and we don't check up on each other, not so much because we trust each other (although obviously we do), but rather because we each trust ourselves.

In short, marriage provides us with a legitimate framework, but it doesn't provide all of the answers. Many things still have to be worked out between the partners in the relationship whatever its formal status.

That's how it works for us, anyway. Obviously, your mileage may vary.
.

I have to admit that reading this was refreshing.

 

[Mindfondler]

I have to admit that reading this was refreshing.

Thank you!

I didn't intend to come across as preachy, or to imply that everything's perfect. Marriage works for some people and not others: it's the quality of a relationship that really counts, regardless of what trappings one puts around it. I just wanted to pitch in with a positive experience, and perhaps encourage cynics to think again.
.

 

[suckonsimon]

Thank you!

I didn't intend to come across as preachy, or to imply that everything's perfect. Marriage works for some people and not others: it's the quality of a relationship that really counts, regardless of what trappings one puts around it. I just wanted to pitch in with a positive experience, and perhaps encourage cynics to think again.
.

With you in what you have posted, Mf. Agreed.
39 years and I'm smiling broadly, as is she.

 

[charley58]

I have been with my wife for 40 years and been married for 38 years in october

 

[Miranda_Darling]

I'm married. Very glad I did and no I don't regret it.

 

[pfflyerhot]

Not married, but have been in a few LTR... I used to say, "Marriage, pffttt. Not necessary". Course that could have a lot to do with watching my parents maneuver through their alcohol-fueled disfunction... Didn't look like much fun. And, so far... that perception seems to hold true for my me.
I'm not afraid of commitment; I'm afraid of getting hurt... but, it's a different kind of hurt than what Lovely2222 talks about. Mine is more about ego, I think... and loneliness.... having something nice just long enough to remind how much I miss it when it's gone. That, I am sick of.

 

[MarkSand]

On my way out after 22 years, amicably. But that's my one and only foray.

 

[daddysbaby150]

I was married for 14 years. I met him just shy of 19 which was way too young. I dont believe in regrets, especially my marriage, because it blessed me with 2 very beautiful children whom I love more than life itself. That being said, I am soon to be divorced and can find many life lessons and learned growth within those 20 years. I am a completely different person at 38 then I was at 18 and with that growth came the realization that I was worth better than the way I was being treated. As odd as it sounds, I met some men here on lit that showed me how men should love and care for their wives, which sadly, wasnt anything that I was used to. It took a lot for me to finally say enough was enough and I will never regret that! Do I see myself ever getting married again? HELL NO!!! I cannot think of one reason why I would need a marriage to fulfill anything in my life. Currently, I do enjoy a NSA FWB whom I have made it very clear to that we will never be anything more. Will I date down the road, probably, but it will only be as my kids are older as I intend to make them my full priority for the next 10-15 years. Will I find some magical, mythical love of my life? Doubtful. Im probably too jaded and realistic to believe in that right now, but its a good fantasy. And should it ever knock on my door, I am strong enough to know that I will be worthy of that love, but I dont think Im open to it yet. I need to figure out who I am as a grown up first.

 

[julybaby04]

Married almost 20 years when my husband passed away from brain cancer....that was 5 years ago. Now have been married again for 2.5 years.

LOVE being married!!

 

[sixfeetundernea]

Not married. I very very badly want to be abd I feel like I'm ready for it, but since I can't even get a date, maybe I'm not. When I'm not daydreaming about sex, I daydream what it would like to be with my best friend (I would want him to be) and all the little things we'd do. By no means I don't expect it to be a fairytale, and I'd prefer it that way. All I want to do is go to city hall. Maybe I'm just in love with the idea of getting married. I think about all the little things I'd love to do for him, to him, with him. I don't think I would be the best wife though so... Serves me right. Maybe I can just find a middle aged man to live with for a couple of years while I can get my finances in order abd in exchange for rent, give him sex. Sounds like a win/win situation for me.

 

[michael2956]

This is a difficult question that requires a complicated answer. I've been married for 33 years and I'm not happy. I haven't been for a long time. Do I regret getting married? No, how can I with two amazing kids who have enriched my life and make the world a much better place?

That being said, though, I wish I wasn't married to this woman right now. It's the same litany we see on Lit over and over; a loveless, sexless marriage. I'm with a woman I don't love and who doesn't respect me. More than a few posters have said, "Why don't you divorce her and start over." Finances complicate things right now and I don't see that changing for at least two years. I'm 59 years old and I don't want to move to an apartment and start over. So, here I am. I feel trapped in a cage of my own making.

 

[Leahsky]

,.....

 

[vibes]

I knew him for 10 years before we married. Not afraid of commitment so much as the "what if" if it did not work out. I was not sure I could live through a divorce.

He managed to get me to alter, we were married for 14 years.

I loved him and I loved being married. When he passed I knew I would never marry again. He was the love of my life. Also having loved him, I cannot go through the loss again. For me, marriage was wonderful. I don't think I let anyone get that close again to hurt like that. Not fear of commitment that keeps me from marrying again, it is fear of hurt.

It's understandable and I can relate. Only, perhaps, you can't tell how you will see things in time

 

[ReadingExcitesMe]

I am married and I do regret it. I feel like he stifles my need to have fun and do new things, among many other issues we have. I don't think marriage was the best option for me.

 

[ElijaRDC]

If you're married, do you regret getting married? Why?

If you're not married, do you want to be, and why? Are you afraid of the commitment at all?

I'm not married. I am in a relationship of two years, and if he proposed, I'd say yes, but I'm more or less ambivalent about it. We love each other to the moon and back whether it's legally recognized or not.

 

[seamus221]

Yes. I am married and yes I regret it every day of my life.

Been there done that and got to keep the Just Divorced Tee shirt after court!

 

[EctoJohn]

I'm not married, but I'd like to be, I just would need a relationship with a woman first.

As for why, I just feel it's the ultimate culmination of love, or at least believe
that's what it should represent.
The person I marry should be the last woman I want to be with.
There's no easy way out of it, and I would want a marriage where neither of us ever wants out of it.
I want to be more than just boyfriend and girlfriend forever.
Boyfriend/girlfriend is the testing grounds, marriage is forever.

I also want kids some day, and for me personally I would find it weird to be that child's parents and not be married.
Honestly, you have a child together, why aren't you married?

They may be old fashioned values, but they are my values.