Math

[AdjectiveNounVerb]

fair enough....but i tell you if you "boned up" on integral calculus it would help you understand the area under their curves, if not the women themselves.

When I was studying calc the first time, way back in high school, we thought it was funny to drop the dx from the integral of e^x, since as high schoolers we were obligated to snicker at the equation "[size=+1]S[/size]e^x = x + c".

Damn it's nice to have matured a little.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Just saw another member's avatar and it fits right in with this conversation.

 

[YankeeGirl74]

Just saw another member's avatar and it fits right in with this conversation.

Solve for x! LOL! (Damn, why didn't I think of that answer back in HS!)

 

[cassiekravesit]

And there is the one I always loved because it infuriated my trig teacher:

1/n sin x = ?
1 si x = ?
six = 6

Q.E.D.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Solve for x! LOL! (Damn, why didn't I think of that answer back in HS!)

You and me both!

Reminds me of a math question I had in health class that asked to calculate the cost of smoking cigarettes at a $2.00 a pack over 20 years.

The solution was supposed to be simple, 365 days per year X $2.00 X 20 = $14,600.

About that time my sister, always the wise ass, walks through the room and asked me if I wanted to fuck with the teacher. I, of course, said yes, to which she said to calculate 5 extra days to account for leap years. So that is what I did.

Next day I turn in the assignment, it is graded and handed back, and my answer, of course, is marked incorrect, so I had to inform the teacher that I had accounted for leap years, so technically my answer was the only correct answer in the room. He got a big smile on his face and said that he hadn't meant for us to be that accurate in our calculation. Apparently, he wasn't that good at math either.

 

[sunkissedblues]

fair enough....but i tell you if you "boned up" on integral calculus it would help you understand the area under their curves, if not the women themselves.

Reminds me of my favorite math pickup line...."I wish I was a derivative so I could lay tangent to those curves."

 

[NippleMuncher]

Reminds me of my favorite math pickup line...."I wish I was a derivative so I could lay tangent to those curves."

Sex is like math

Add a bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs
and Multiply!


sorry, that is a very OLD joke.

 

[serpentwrap]

In my younger days I used to love using calculus and theory of probability to prove every person is a bastard. This is how it went:

Every child is a derivative of his parents. So to know the parentage of a child you've gotta integrate the derivative. On integration you will get a variable and a constant. The constant has to be the mother, since the child has come out of her womb. The variable is the father.

Of the 6 billion odd world population, lets say 1.5 billion males are eligible to have fathered the child. Now the probability of one person of this 1.5 billion to have fathered the child and who is also married / in-a-relationship with the mother will be 1/1.5 billion x 1.5 billion. That makes it 1/2.25 billion billion. Mathetmatically, this probability of the father being in permanent relationship with the mother is equivalent to zero.

Thus every child is a bastard. QED.

{Clearly the logic is facetious at best. So please dont bust my ass over this}

 

[StaciRay79]

If a Train A leaves Chicago at 1125 going 60 mph and Train B leaves St Louis at 1215 going 45 mph, I have to wonder...

Who the hell takes the train anymore!!!

 

[NippleMuncher]

If a Train A leaves Chicago at 1125 going 60 mph and Train B leaves St Louis at 1215 going 45 mph, I have to wonder...

Who the hell takes the train anymore!!!

I know the answer to this one! People who are afraid to fly!

 

[NippleMuncher]

They're never too young to confuse with math.

The answer is that Jack has none, because nobody likes booger eaters.

 

[NippleMuncher]

One more for the textbooks:

 

[NippleMuncher]

I'm not the only one.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Still don't know why I got this wrong, I did what the instructions said ...

 

[NippleMuncher]

Even geometry is confusing.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Do you hate your provider?

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fail-owned-verizon-fail.jpg

 

[StaciRay79]

Hilarious! I need to try that with my cable company!!

Do you hate your provider?

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fail-owned-verizon-fail.jpg

 

[NippleMuncher]

Hilarious! I need to try that with my cable company!!

Anybody dare to do this with the IRS?

 

[NippleMuncher]

It is TOO a secret!

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/epic-fail-math-fail.jpg

 

[Bramblethorn]

Do you hate your provider?

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/fail-owned-verizon-fail.jpg

I love that one, but the annotation is wrong: they've misread the 'i' (in e^i*pi) as a 2. Which changes the answer rather a lot - the point of the original is that it's for $0.002 (i.e. 0.2 cents).

It's in response to an exchange with Verizon billing where they offered a rate of 0.002 cents/kilobyte and then charged at $0.002/kilobyte (ie 100x the advertised rate).

 

[Cattypuss]

It's "maths", not "math".

Thanks

The colonial police.

 

[NippleMuncher]

It's "maths", not "math".

Thanks

The colonial police.

Everybody's a critics!

 

[NippleMuncher]

It might be the wrong law, but it's the only law I know!

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/epic-fail-answer-fail.jpg

 

[NippleMuncher]

No THIS kind of math I would have paid attention to!

http://md.tgpsitecentral.com/pod/2012-06-03.jpg?t=1338736084

 

[Aedue]

No THIS kind of math I would have paid attention to!

http://md.tgpsitecentral.com/pod/2012-06-03.jpg?t=1338736084

There's no doubt in my mind.

The guy who wrote that is a physicist.

Still reminds me of:

By Patrick Monroe of XKCD