Meeting Master for the first time?

[FurryFury]

Three things.

1. BDSM checklists are great tools for beginners. Don't wait for him to give you one, search Google for 'bdsm checklist' and fill it out yourself. Even if you don't show it to him, it's good for figuring out your own thoughts.
2. Set up a safe call. Don't listen to WD, he's just being cynical. A safe call means that you pre-arrange with a friend that you will call them at a specified time to let them know how things are going. Some people include saying a special phrase with this, so that if the guy IS a psycho and he's watching you make the call, you can say that innocent phrase to communicate to your friend that something is wrong. This applies to anytime you meet someone face to face for the first time, even if it's not a Master-type relationship.
3. I think what's missing in this thread so far is clarification of "training" vs. other types of interaction such as sex and sceneing. Yes, the two of you need to discuss things like being tied up, how hard he should beat you, is it okay to leave marks, are you okay with sex on the first date, etc. Knowing how hard you want to be "forced" is also essential. Are you just going to have some kinky, freaky sex? Or is it okay for him to fuck your ass without warning or lube?
   
   All of these things are scenes and sex. But training is something different, and in my opinion the dominant gets to decide what that includes. Maybe he wants to train you in orgasm control, so that you can only come when he gives you permission. Maybe he wants to train you to shed your human inhibitions and become a pony or a puppy. Maybe he wants to train you in how he likes his blowjobs so you'll be an expert. All of these take time, repeated sessions of training, and possibly homework since you're living separately.

Just my three-and-a-half cents.

Great points Etoile!

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

We're staying at a hotel room while He's here b/c my bed isn't big enough for two people...

I'll call my mom a few times to check in...and give her his address and cell phone number...just in case...

Don't you just love it when people ask for advice and information and then ignore it.

Fury

 

[doll_parts85]

Don't you just love it when people ask for advice and information and then ignore it.

Fury

I wanted to know about training...I don't need to be told not to sleep with my Master

 

[FurryFury]

I wanted to know about training...I don't need to be told not to sleep with my Master

That's actually not what I said. Which just goes to show you didn't really read and process what I did say.

Fury

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

GREAT question Ms. Rebecca.

Fury

Thanks Miss Fury

no...its a work in progress...

I was hoping that perhaps that had been resolved.

Now Miss DP I have a bone to pick with you.

Lets clarify first please that in my time on the GB when I have addressed you on your threads I have always been friendly & positive. Never been one to attend your threads & flame or make disparaging comments.

So may I ask about this post please...............

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=22208019&postcount=80

For some strange reason I started to chuckle as I read this . I -know- that comment predates this thread by an hour. You do however give the impression it's current. Sooooooooo :chuckles: Miss DP I pulled up the search function for all your threads & all your posts within the BDSM Forum . Outside a mini hijack on a thread you were playing with Art H on I couldn't find a reference. In fact it seemed your reception in this Forum was more >>>>>

So I am feeling a little >>>>

 

[Otherkorean]

* Stands and applauds Etoile and FurryFury. *

I haven't met with a Dom that I've have chatted with yet, but I have agreed to meet someone that I had only met online. I did it in a public place with a safe call and an agreement that if we didn't have any chemistry there wasn't going to be any extra 'dessert' afterwards. The amount of nervousness and paranoia that it removed was HUGE. It allowed the meeting to be much more relaxed and easy going.

I don't know how long you've been in contact with your master, but I recommend that you at least go over a few of the points that have been brought up here with him. Not only is it safer for you, its safer for those that may worry about you if you come back harmed or not at all.

 

[doll_parts85]

Thanks Miss Fury


I was hoping that perhaps that had been resolved.

Now Miss DP I have a bone to pick with you.

Lets clarify first please that in my time on the GB when I have addressed you on your threads I have always been friendly & positive. Never been one to attend your threads & flame or make disparaging comments.

So may I ask about this post please...............

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=22208019&postcount=80

For some strange reason I started to chuckle as I read this . I -know- that comment predates this thread by an hour. You do however give the impression it's current. Sooooooooo :chuckles: Miss DP I pulled up the search function for all your threads & all your posts within the BDSM Forum . Outside a mini hijack on a thread you were playing with Art H on I couldn't find a reference. In fact it seemed your reception in this Forum was more >>>>>

So I am feeling a little >>>>

I think it was in the personals...

 

[doll_parts85]

it was moved to the personals:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=404853&page=2&pp=25

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I wanted to know about training...I don't need to be told not to sleep with my Master

just curious, how long have you been 'together'? and if you dont' even know what you're getting into why on earth would you be staying in a hotel room with him?? i did with Master when He came here the first time, BUT we had been together for 3 years and talked on the phone pretty much all of our free time from day one. i knew what to expect, i knew what my 'training' would involve, i knew what He expected of me. with you asking the questions here that i asked HIM, i'm concerned if you can't ask him these questions, then why would you even consider staying with Him in a Hotel?

 

[doll_parts85]

*deletes*

 

[the captians wench]

Okay, when I met with my newest playmate we had been emailing for all of a month and chatting for all of 2 weeks. So when I agreed to meet him (after gaining Jounar's okay) we met in a public place, that I chose, and he was informed there would be no funny business on that first meet and I called my mom after I left my apt, then she called me an hour later and if we had still be engaged then I would have called her an hour after that. of course I was on vacation and he owns his own business so once the spark was there there was plenty of time to start a fire.

Now I've been Jounar's for nearly 2 years, and when I fly over to see him you better believe there's going to be hanky panky in a hotel room that first night. Infact, I've already informed him in a not so subby manor that if I'm forking over the cash for the plane trip he'd sure as hell better put out. And I will be calling my mom every day I'm gone, but that's also because I'm going to a different country for the first time.

I won't say that I haven't met with chat buddies and ended up in bed that first meet. Infact one of them lasted a whole 5 mins and I was totally striped and having a wonderful time of it. Was it stupid? Hell yes. Was I lucky? Damn strieght. Would I do it again? probably. but then this is why I have some one looking out for me.

Anyway, as far as training. What it usually means in my expeirence is molding you into what they want to best please them. Whether that's how to suck his cock, or how to beg, or how to unload the dishwasher.

Good luck anyways.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks Miss Fury


I was hoping that perhaps that had been resolved.

Now Miss DP I have a bone to pick with you.

Lets clarify first please that in my time on the GB when I have addressed you on your threads I have always been friendly & positive. Never been one to attend your threads & flame or make disparaging comments.

So may I ask about this post please...............

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=22208019&postcount=80

For some strange reason I started to chuckle as I read this . I -know- that comment predates this thread by an hour. You do however give the impression it's current. Sooooooooo :chuckles: Miss DP I pulled up the search function for all your threads & all your posts within the BDSM Forum . Outside a mini hijack on a thread you were playing with Art H on I couldn't find a reference. In fact it seemed your reception in this Forum was more >>>>>

So I am feeling a little >>>>

LOL, and some wonder why we are not always so ready to take them seriously immediately when they pop up out of nowhere and ask questions which seem unanswerable by their standards. Smetimes I think we are all in training to be agony aunts in the local rag.

Catalina

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I know sexually what He wants...if thats what training is all about...I thought it was more about other things...when I asked him He said to start out its about changing the way you think about your role and stuff...

i again i think you need to talk to him. and if he's already put it out there what 'training' will be like (changing they way you think about your role 'and stuff') then why not ask Him to elaborate more?? *shrugs* for me the lifestyle isn't about 'sex' it's a lot deeper than that and i'd want to know more than just what He expects of me 'sexually' ......but that's just me

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

it was moved to the personals:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=404853&page=2&pp=25

Oh gawd Miss DP reading that thread was 15 seconds of my life I want back.

You always have an answer squirrelled away somewhere ! Consistently inconsistent and swear you're not into humiliation.........lol

Just for once pay attention to good advice offered to you by posts predating mine -please-

 

[doll_parts85]

Oh gawd Miss DP reading that thread was 15 seconds of my life I want back.

You always have an answer squirrelled away somewhere ! Consistently inconsistent and swear you're not into humiliation.........lol

Just for once pay attention to good advice offered to you by posts predating mine -please-

hehe sorry

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

LOL, and some wonder why we are not always so ready to take them seriously immediately when they pop up out of nowhere and ask questions which seem unanswerable by their standards. Smetimes I think we are all in training to be agony aunts in the local rag.

Catalina

:chuckles: Cat I feel I have two options currently.

'Retire' or instigate a massive hijack of this thread........

Feeling sadistic at all today ?

 

[doll_parts85]

*deletes*

 

[the captians wench]

I'll ask Him for more details when I find the right time...He's already controling my entire life...from what I eat to how often I wash my skin and put my medication on (I have an acne problem He's trying to correct) I email Him detailed daily reports...saying everything I ate and other personal info that I'm not comfy sharing LOL

that sounds like training to me.

 

[Etoile]

I know sexually what He wants...if thats what training is all about...I thought it was more about other things...when I asked him He said to start out its about changing the way you think about your role and stuff...

Perhaps you missed my post, I think it's one page back. I answered your question exactly in part 3 of that post. I suggest you go back and read it, you will learn about the difference between training and sex.

As for the rest of this thread, I have my own opinions, but I'd rather hear your response to what I said before, so I'll leave it at that.

edit: damn, you all sure posted a lot while I tapped out this message on my cell phone!

 

[FurryFury]

that sounds like training to me.

Sounds like micro management to me. I can see how it would make some feel "safer" and "cared for." I wouldn't like it at all. It's pretty clear safety isn't what this OP seeks.

Please note that I have answered this thread seriously knowing it was unlikely I would be listened to by the OP. I figured others approaching a first meet might also read it and be helped.

Training is individual to each Dom and also some controlling ass holes in the nilla world. You must ask him about it, not us.

Fury

 

[doll_parts85]

that sounds like training to me.

Training doesn't start until we are together in real life

 

[doll_parts85]

Sounds like micro management to me. I can see how it would make some feel "safer" and "cared for." I wouldn't like it at all. It's pretty clear safety isn't what this OP seeks.

Please note that I have answered this thread seriously knowing it was unlikely I would be listened to by the OP. I figured others approaching a first meet might also read it and be helped.

Training is individual to each Dom and also some controlling ass holes in the nilla world. You must ask him about it, not us.

Fury

He makes me feel safe...and cared for...and I need the structure...and someone to take care of me...I can't make choices on my own...I always make bad choices...now He makes them for me

 

[FurryFury]

He makes me feel safe...and cared for...and I need the structure...and someone to take care of me...I can't make choices on my own...I always make bad choices...now He makes them for me

I can sort of see the appeal of that but of course the problem is that most relationships don't last forever and then what?

Also, you can't make choices on my own is bullshit and excuse making. Sooner or later you'll have to. As down on yourself as you may be it's rarely true when someone speaks in absolutes like "always" and "never."

IMO, a really good person or PYL would if he had the patience try to help you stand on your own two feel but that's just me.

Fury

 

[doll_parts85]

*deletes*

 

[FurryFury]

Training doesn't start until we are together in real life

I actually don't agree with that but maybe it's just a matter of semantics.

I enjoyed training whilst online quite a bit with a Dom.

Fury