Meeting People into BDSM

[Ebonyfire]

There isn't a Dom/me that didn't pass through an amateur stage. But I think most amateurs start with amateur toys. Floggers are relatively safe. Canes are too if you don't go overboard. Whips are another story, but I've been involved for 6 years or so and just starting to think about buying a whip. As long as the Dom/me shares your concern about safety, I wouldn't shudder about his/her experience level.

It depends on HOW you learn, don't you think?

I was taught to use a cane, flogger, and single tail. I was taught how to do basic CBT by an experienced Domme, and I practiced, on a sub I had as a play partner within the BDSM Group I belonged in, under the watchful eye of the Dom/mes. I was very lucky.

I also believe in studying things, I still have a BDSM Library, with tools to help Me in My quest for improvement.

And My ace in the whole was, bitch boy, My sub who has over 20 years of experience which he shared with Me.

Yes, it really depends on HOW you learn.

 

[cellis]

It depends on HOW you learn, don't you think?

I was taught to use a cane, flogger, and single tail. I was taught how to do basic CBT by an experienced Domme, and I practiced, on a sub I had as a play partner within the BDSM Group I belonged in, under the watchful eye of the Dom/mes. I was very lucky.

I also believe in studying things, I still have a BDSM Library, with tools to help Me in My quest for improvement.

And My ace in the whole was, bitch boy, My sub who has over 20 years of experience which he shared with Me.

Yes, it really depends on HOW you learn.

It also depends on your openness to learn... I don't see a lack of experience as a hinderance or a bad thing, unless the person is unwilling to work with some one more experienced or more knowlegdeable.

 

[serijules]

It depends on HOW you learn, don't you think?

*snip*

Yes, it really depends on HOW you learn.

I agree. It drives me mad when I see people talk about "practicing" with a cane by just picking one up (or worse yet, making their own) and using it on someone with the excuse of "well how can I learn if I don't try?" *snort*

One can have hours of experience under their belt, but if they learned a skill the wrong way, it doesn't matter how experienced they think they are, they are still dangerous. Now granted no two people use a cane the same way, there is room for style of course, but the basic dangers of an implement are the same no matter who is using them or what their style is, and it takes an understanding of said implement to be able to successfully learn to use it without causing harm.

So yes, how you learn is extremely important, thanks for mentioning that vital point.

I better get off this thread, it's a very hot topic for me.

 

[WriterDom]

It depends on HOW you learn, don't you think?

I was taught to use a cane, flogger, and single tail. I was taught how to do basic CBT by an experienced Domme, and I practiced, on a sub I had as a play partner within the BDSM Group I belonged in, under the watchful eye of the Dom/mes. I was very lucky.

I also believe in studying things, I still have a BDSM Library, with tools to help Me in My quest for improvement.

And My ace in the whole was, bitch boy, My sub who has over 20 years of experience which he shared with Me.

Yes, it really depends on HOW you learn.

Yes, and sharing information is what makes a forum like this valuable. I started before I even knew the term BDSM existed. I wish I had started on a similar path to you 6 years ago. It's a little like golf. you should learn to play, not play to learn.

But it really doesn't take a rocket scientist to know safe activity from unsafe. If you err on the side of caution, and learn about something you've never done before trying it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

If you err on the side of caution, and learn about something you've never done before trying it. [/B]

Very true. Caution is the watchword.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

I think that bieng honest is the key.

I was so glad to find a place like this where I was given sound advice and direction. I shared that I was new to all of this, and I was given some good links and sound advice from many people on this forum. I have learned a lot from reading, trial and error, and now that I have a sub. I am learning from her as well. We are both new to this and are learning from one another. We were honest with each other and we both knew that we had a lot to learn. Have we made mistakes? Yes, but we always learn from them. The fact that we took our time and got to know each other before we actually began a D/s relationship has proved to be very valueable. Growing pains can be difficult at times, but it just seems to deepen our relationship. We trust each other, and that also adds to the things we can do, and allows us to tear down any walls of fear or of expectations. I am very fortunate to have a very understanding and patient sub. We have come a long way, and it just gets better.

( I have my own human guinea pig to practice on. She loves it, and I do mean to practice. Practice Practice Practice. Practice makes perfect. )

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: I think that bieng honest is the key.

I was so glad to find a place like this where I was given sound advice and direction. I shared that I was new to all of this, and I was given some good links and sound advice from many people on this forum. I have learned a lot from reading, trial and error, and now that I have a sub. I am learning from her as well. We are both new to this and are learning from one another. We were honest with each other and we both knew that we had a lot to learn. Have we made mistakes? Yes, but we always learn from them. The fact that we took our time and got to know each other before we actually began a D/s relationship has proved to be very valueable. Growing pains can be difficult at times, but it just seems to deepen our relationship. We trust each other, and that also adds to the things we can do, and allows us to tear down any walls of fear or of expectations. I am very fortunate to have a very understanding and patient sub. We have come a long way, and it just gets better.

( I have my own human guinea pig to practice on. She loves it, and I do mean to practice. Practice Practice Practice. Practice makes perfect. )

Practice is a good thing.