Men, I'm dissapointed

[PullnPray]

I've heard the refrain before about how easy it is for women to get laid. I sometimes wonder how many men actually consider the prospects from the other side.

- A great deal of men spend little time on outward appearance. Poor fashion choices, letting their body go, etc...
- Personal grooming seems to be lacking as well. Countless times have I opened a package to discover it smells of sweat and pee.
- Not to mention the constant fear that a guy is going to assault me. Countless times have I walked away from a guy flirting with me and been called a "bitch" or worse.
- Even when a guy is reasonable so frequently there seems to be a sense of entitlement. I've gone this far so I must want to go further. I want to have sex with you, therefore my only interest is making you cum, etc...
- Also the idea that you got me off, so I should be 'grateful' and 'honor your compassion'.

And don't even get me started on "nice guys", they're the worst.

What's really frustrating is that the way men seem to want to carry on in this society creates all these barriers to sexual interactions. Getting play when your a woman is not even close to easy.

So, what's the deal?

It's not a matter of 'picking the wrong guys', it's a matter of "it shouldn't be this hard". I have plenty of awesome guys I like having sex with. They were however filtered from the crowd.

Let's review the problem. You have a great sex life with plenty of awesome guys you like having sex with. However, you are frustrated by how difficult it was to find these awesome guys that you have sex with. You find the vast majority of males to be completely unfuckable. Making matters worst, among the guys who are fuckable, too many are selfish in bed. You started this thread to tell the male gender how disappointed you are in us and to ask us why we are so lame.

A few things to think about...

I heard a catchy proverb recently. If you meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole. But if you meet assholes all day long, then you're the asshole. Have you considered the possibility that the reason you have been called a bitch by guys "countless" times is because you really are a bitch? Have you considered the possibility that the reason many of the guys you sleep with seem selfish in bed is because you are such an unpleasant, unlikable person that they don't give a damn whether you cum or not? With other women, they might be very generous lovers. Granted, it is pathetic that some guys are so desperate to bust a nut that they would sleep with a woman whom they despise. On the other hand, if you had to rely on your charm to get male attention, you might still be a virgin.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Good god, when is this fucking thread going to die and put us out of our misery?

 

[LadyVer]

Good god, when is this fucking thread going to die and put us out of our misery?

Thanks for the LOL I got from reading your comment.

 

[Sedona1972]

I agree with Sheena.

She sure has stirred up some issues, but I really don't think the pile on is fair.

Here you have a woman saying she wants sex and is prepared to give a man consideration if he is presentable and doesn't behave like an asshole - hardly seems like an unreasonable ask.

However, I would say to both genders that if we took half as much time trying to understand the other as we do in trying to reinforce our own pre-existing biases everyone would be getting a lot more action.

As a relatively promiscuous woman I would say the following to men:
- women who enjoy sex have fucked other guys, get over it
- being sex positive does not in any way mean I am open to being used or abused
- I will never forfeit my right to choose my sexual partners - the notion that a "slut" will fuck anybody or is somehow less selective is beyond stupid
- sexual attraction is deeper than the physical and when the connection is wrong it may have nothing to do with your prowess
- regardless of how far I let you go you are not entitled to anything - if I shut you down as you are trying to slide into home its because I am not prepared to go there or you have done something to turn me off, its not because I just decided to be arbitrarily cruel
- your buddies don't know anymore about women than you do, especially the ones that think they do
- physical violence is a huge concern, there is nothing you can say in a single conversation to make this concern go away for a woman half your size who knows sex is one of the most potent motivators for a man

And to women I would say:
- no means no always - but using that as cover to treat men like play things then cut them loose when you are done playing is a bitchy thing to do
- putting oneself out there to be judged by women is very hard, often demoralizing and generally makes things easier on us - think about how many dumb things you would say if you always had to take the initiative and be nice when you turn a man down
- the stereotypes you apply to men are no more accurate than the ones they apply to you
- your girlfriends don't know anymore about men than you do, especially the ones that think they do
- don't go to a bar in a mini skirt looking for a husband anymore than you would go to an auto shop looking for groceries
- faint praise or condescension is transparently offensive - a man would far rather be slapped than called cute
- listen to what was said not what you heard - "cunt" is universally offensive, "pussy" is not - its actually the most inoffensive non-clinical reference to the vagina - there are lots of scenarios where discussion of your pussy is offside, but if you are unable to discuss it at all.....well grow up

Wow...wellsaid

 

[Sedona1972]

Hi. Read most of this thread. A few things popped up in my mind. It seems to me that a smart man would take pointers instead of getting defensive. Here is a women who likes to have casual sex telling you what you need to do to get laid by her. I gave up on casual sex since most men seem to only care enough to get a women off when they care about her, mind you that was when I was younger. I prefer to have a connection with someone before I sleep with them anyways. The personal grooming thing is less of an issue with me, some of the best sex is sweaty and smelly anyway. My favorite type of guy to sleep with is one who gets off on getting me off and who likes an enthusiastic girl. I like someone smart, funny and sweet. Seems like there is a lot of those guys around luckily.
I have to say something...I have dated both genders. Women are confusing, I do not envy you men. It is hard to pick up women. Hard to get us off. And for every asshole there is plenty of decent guys to pick from. The violence thing is an issue though, as is slut shaming and all that. Along with the whole pregnancy thing.

 

[ItalianStyle]

Hmmm... that's probably a good idea. Though I haven't thought a ton about it. It's always easier to point out what is frustrating than to think of what you'd ideally like. It's also hard, because even the ideal man would not be someone I'd know was ideal at first. So the general behavior of men still creates a barrier.

Minimum requirements:
- Clean and well groomed
- Dressed with at least some sense that they paid attention to their clothes.
- Respectful of boundaries
- Able to communicate effectively

That would be my short list.

I would not call these minimum .. I would *expect* those requirements.

 

[dizzyegg]

*slips some shells into his shotgun*

There, there thread. Sshh. Soon be over.

BANG

 

[robertreams]

Sheana, I apologize on behalf of my sex. I am sorry all the men you know are such creeps. But maybe something in your nature attracts creeps, because I know for sure there are good men out there who are nothing like what you described. You described me when I was thirteen. I am considerably older now and am nothing like what you described.

 

[FGB]

I've heard the refrain before about how easy it is for women to get laid. I sometimes wonder how many men actually consider the prospects from the other side.

- A great deal of men spend little time on outward appearance. Poor fashion choices, letting their body go, etc...
- Personal grooming seems to be lacking as well. Countless times have I opened a package to discover it smells of sweat and pee.
- Not to mention the constant fear that a guy is going to assault me. Countless times have I walked away from a guy flirting with me and been called a "bitch" or worse.
- Even when a guy is reasonable so frequently there seems to be a sense of entitlement. I've gone this far so I must want to go further. I want to have sex with you, therefore my only interest is making you cum, etc...
- Also the idea that you got me off, so I should be 'grateful' and 'honor your compassion'.

And don't even get me started on "nice guys", they're the worst.

What's really frustrating is that the way men seem to want to carry on in this society creates all these barriers to sexual interactions. Getting play when your a woman is not even close to easy.

So, what's the deal?

You need to try someplace like this... http://www.pof.com/

They ask hundreds of questions and even offer areas one needs to work on.

I'm having some problems staying recognized by the site, but a lady friend of mine suggested it and said to upgrade and that it would solve most of my dating problems. They impressed me with their in depth analyzation of well pretty much everything about me.

I copied the results to WORD and would be willing to PM them to you as an example of how the site works. In a month or so I'm going to give dating a serious try.

 

[ERoleplayer]

You need to try someplace like this... http://www.pof.com/

They ask hundreds of questions and even offer areas one needs to work on.

I'm having some problems staying recognized by the site, but a lady friend of mine suggested it and said to upgrade and that it would solve most of my dating problems. They impressed me with their in depth analyzation of well pretty much everything about me.

I copied the results to WORD and would be willing to PM them to you as an example of how the site works. In a month or so I'm going to give dating a serious try.

So did anything get resolved here?
Did you get the advice you wanted...I doubt it

Have you refined that list of the perfect guy...You had it already.

The bottom line, there are winners in life and losers.
So far you've seemed to attract losers.
Change what and where you look and eventually you will find.

Until then, be careful. Be picky about what you're looking for and by all means..

Stick to your standards..AND....Keep the faith

 

[robertreams]

Why don't you make us a list of likes/dislikes, Acceptable/unacceptable behaviors, ideas, attitudes. If we do not have such a list it is impossible to live up to standards. One more clue: Moses supposes--

 

[robertreams]

I've heard the refrain before about how easy it is for women to get laid. I sometimes wonder how many men actually consider the prospects from the other side.

- A great deal of men spend little time on outward appearance. Poor fashion choices, letting their body go, etc...
- Personal grooming seems to be lacking as well. Countless times have I opened a package to discover it smells of sweat and pee.
- Not to mention the constant fear that a guy is going to assault me. Countless times have I walked away from a guy flirting with me and been called a "bitch" or worse.
- Even when a guy is reasonable so frequently there seems to be a sense of entitlement. I've gone this far so I must want to go further. I want to have sex with you, therefore my only interest is making you cum, etc...
- Also the idea that you got me off, so I should be 'grateful' and 'honor your compassion'.

And don't even get me started on "nice guys", they're the worst.

What's really frustrating is that the way men seem to want to carry on in this society creates all these barriers to sexual interactions. Getting play when your a woman is not even close to easy.

So, what's the deal?

Men work, they sweat, they pee. what should they smell like, Roses? Then there is a marvelous device called a shower. If you don't like the way it smells, tastes, was it first. Ever smelled a pussy?
Don't get me wrong. I love the smell and taste of a nice hot sweaty, urine producing pussy. (I know I know, only the urethra, as if that weren't true for a man also.) Perhaps on the planet Zargon men don't sweat or pee.

How easily do you cum? Would my wrist be sore after an hour and a half?

I think you are altogether too picky. You can't change a man; no one can change another person or group of persons, but with effort we can change ourselves (you and I). You can change your reaction to men.

 

[sarcasticmale]

i haven't read this string from beginning to end but I will make an opinion on the ones I did read. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong and you can dismiss it....

Seems that you are doing the same thing men do to women, rolling them into one category. Men think all women are panty droppers and women think all men are pigs, assholes, dicks, dipshits, asshats, and a lot of other expletives. But really the plight is the same on both sides. We both just want to get laid. And I will admit that that men do have an entitlement issue but women have their own.

women my advice, if a guy calls you a bitch for not talking to him or having sex with him, is he really worth your time. If you have to kiss him on the first date to get a 2nd, is he really worth your time. And seriously, if he can't get you off, do you honestly think you would want him to replay. Especially if he doesn't even try to get you off. You said it yourself, you have a group that you like having sex with but they were selected from the crowd. Keep that up and you will be fine.

As for men, I can't help anyone there. I can just help myself. But I can say cater to the needs not the wants. And honestly everyone is a "tire kicker", it's called dating.

Anyway take it for what it's worth.

 

[bogusguy]

I like toast

 

[robertreams]

It's another thing that's all our fault too.

If a man makes a statement in a forest and there is no women around, is he still wrong?

 

[Bustins]

great post, as much as they want to be visually turned on so do we.

 

[bunny4med]

find a different environment. you can't always shop in the produce department. if you meet men in the same place, you get the same type of man.

 

[yellowrocket]

wow was this brought back from the dead

If you don't kiss on the first date there is no 2nd date. I aint gonna be rude, I ain t gonna waste more time with you while the other guys are getting laid. Been there, done it your way, and got the scars. Nice gets you claw marks, interesting with a dollop of dangerous gets you laid.

Women need to give clues on if they're interested. Guys hate the friend zone. A kiss is the fastest sign you aren't going there.

On the other hand being a nicer guy got me 8-10 inch adverts that I cherish from some of our first months once we did start having sex. It was probably 6 weeks or so. But I knew clearly where I stood worth her the whole time.

A clean, well-groomed penis, that listens. And doesn't call her a bitch if playland should be closed.

any guy that acts that way failed the communication requirement and shouldn't cross your mind again.

The average guy is an inconsiderate moron who never matured past 14 and thinks life is a porn video where women live to serve.

But there are nice guys out there. Identified by lack of BO and the refraining of calling you names if you do not want to hop on their dick after two minutes of their oh so witty banter

Its like going to a yard sale, you'll see a lot of shit, but you can also find a treasure here and there.

You forgot to ad my pet peeve. Guys who say "she;d be hotter if she dropped a few pounds" this inevitably comes from a guy with a body built by Budweiser and who can't see his tool without a mirror.

I pointed that out to a couple of guys in a bar a few weeks ago. They were not amused with me.

Go figure.

This is perfect. It's what guys need to hear. And they need to listen to it. If you aren't one of them don't worry, but then again the ones who are would never self identify as jackasses

 

[hotoldrguy]

Hmmm... that's probably a good idea. Though I haven't thought a ton about it. It's always easier to point out what is frustrating than to think of what you'd ideally like. It's also hard, because even the ideal man would not be someone I'd know was ideal at first. So the general behavior of men still creates a barrier.

Minimum requirements:
- Clean and well groomed
- Dressed with at least some sense that they paid attention to their clothes.
- Respectful of boundaries
- Able to communicate effectively

That would be my short list.

I get the feeling that you are not looking to "get laid" but for an actual relationship. Pretty much anyone M or F can get laid.

Like you, I would prefer something more humanly and emotionally interactive rather than just plain "monkey sex"