Moochienanu
Kintsugi
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2018
- Posts
- 7,713
Those second thoughts again...
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Are people going to be hurt if I don’t go back and write a reply to every comment? I don’t know if I have the wherewithal to go back two or three pages worth for catch up.
I took almost 24,000 steps yesterday. I probably danced more than half of that... basically, the only way I maintain this derrière is through some sweet dance moves I throw down on the daily (usually with myself, but sometimes with a partner or two).
Thank you for sharing. I know I’m not alone. I know that many people ‘care’ about me in some fashion or another... and I know that many are like me in their thoughts of wanting to be perfect, or better, or something more... do I wonder if anyone from here would notice if I just quit lit again? Sometimes. I think it will be similar to last time where my thread slowly creeps to the last page and forgotten by the previous participants... and then I think (the morbid Moochie) ‘what if I died? Would anyone here care?’ And I think the answer is, if anyone found out somehow, there’s probably very little chance they would care... except that I wasn’t sharing my naked body anymore... so then is anything I say here meaningful? Do I actually contribute anything? Or am I just another faceless female in the spank bank?
Crosses suck. I set out on this particular journey in a completely different space mentally almost a year ago now. I was reminded of that this weekend when someone who had been the one to encourage my first post here had a fit (including telling me “fuck you”) because I posted something here but didn’t reply to them for three days on a messenger app while on my vacation. Me from a year ago might dwell on this... might be completely broken... but me now? I don’t know why, I’m a bit placid about the whole thing. Perhaps I should have been a better human in that instance, but it did show me that I am stronger than I used to be and am better at focusing on what makes me happy.
I know I can be cryptic and dark sometimes... my brain has its moments of oddity where if I don’t say something or write it, I will feel it deeper and possibly spiral (if that makes any fucking sense). I’ve found that my husband doesn’t do well hearing about it... and neither did E. The two of them are very similar... they couldn’t see me hurting or hear my pain without needing to fix it. Without needing to dive into the water and pull me to the surface. I’ve found that that strength to rise lies in me. It isn’t something often found quickly or easily, and guidance at times is nice (“Just don’t go popping alveolus today.” - Him), but everything we have within us is exactly what we need to face all of our challenges, trials, and tribulations. I’m probably not going anywhere any time soon, but you’re bound to hear me bitch about lots of things until then... next on my list: “smudgeproof lipstick.” Such a crock of lip-drying, mislabeled shit.
Thank you for leading me down a ramble rant that I hope wasn’t too boring... I see so much strength in you and am in a constant state of awe, Honey. Seriously. You are amazing. I am sure you will do what’s best for you re: gendering.
One might think that, but apparently I am a bit of a pest to some because I am uncompromising with what I want from life... *shrug* When you can’t seem to please them all, you keep yourself happy by pleasing the ones who really matter.
It’s okay to not be everything to anyone but yourself.
Moochienanu said:Thank you for sharing. I know I’m not alone. I know that many people ‘care’ about me in some fashion or another... and I know that many are like me in their thoughts of wanting to be perfect, or better, or something more... do I wonder if anyone from here would notice if I just quit lit again? Sometimes. I think it will be similar to last time where my thread slowly creeps to the last page and forgotten by the previous participants... and then I think (the morbid Moochie) ‘what if I died? Would anyone here care?’ And I think the answer is, if anyone found out somehow, there’s probably very little chance they would care... except that I wasn’t sharing my naked body anymore... so then is anything I say here meaningful? Do I actually contribute anything? Or am I just another faceless female in the spank bank?
I'm total butt hurt. hmph
yes i know you replied i just wanted to say it
Third thoughts for this fella . stay happy stay you
Ummmm, that ass. Is anything more beautiful? Don't think so.
The derrière is very sweet!! TY for posting.....and making us drool. LOL
Hello once again my friend, (Huggs, why you ask, Just because)
I had to think long and hard in such a way to respond having read this three times before picking up my pen. I do not use the term "pen" loosely because the pen is indeed mightier than the sword, the sword we all hold in our hands examining every facet of our lives, every facet, of that double-edged side of us, the one we openly walk and the one we carefully guard to remain hidden.
Such an analogy, "smudgeproof lipstick," genius, sheer insight, intentional or not, subliminal perhaps, but cream always rises to the top and you, my dear, are the essence of cream, hence your musings. I have found your reflections "the calm before the storm," sailing the hemisphere of the Southern Cross. The chorus, "... think about me," reverberating deep in my minds eye as the music plays on ... Death, our final frontier, one hundred years from now, no-one remembers, no-one cares, in fact, two generations and we are but a passing memory, if that. We live for the here-n-now, "Would someone care?" Contemplate the March of the penguins (an analogy) as they "live within their existance," ... you ask, Would someone, anyone care? Yes.
Your contribution, as you choose to call this, is insight ... insight into that part you wish to visualize, the part unguarded, those locked doors within, smashed to tatters, laid in ruin allowing this insight, your insight to run rampant, once again, sheer genius as Alice asked the underlying question of time ... (for you to consider, not for me to divulge) ... think about it. The most fluent teachers of history were those who conveyed their insight so that others would ask that basic question of "why?"
Yes, once again. There is a strength in you, a strength that cannot he quantified, a strength that can only be felt, not let alone by you, but others as well that you have touched with what lays within you. Your strength carries purity, an essence to your very core, the depth of what defines you mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is beautiful, so yes, "smudgeproof lipstick" is non-existant, an illusion to lead the masses like cattle to the slaughter, the blind following the Piper, yet at the Crossroads of Derision I choose to stand alone and proclaim myself to be that which I've grown into. How about you? (Huggs) ps: I love you. Pay it forward.
Hi Moochie,
As you know I don’t always write comments on your thread, but as we said a while back we know what each other is thinking.
I would and did notice when you took a break before, and would again. I read your thread daily, and yes look at your beautiful photos, but I have never used or will use them as a means to ‘getting off’, I respect you too much for that, but then you know that and I know your comment wasn’t aimed at me.
You have a wonderful mind, even if it gets confused with your feelings at times, but that is you and I know you are working on that and have made some good inroads to what will be a long journey.
I know your vacation is coming to an end but you have some good memories to bring home with you. Savour them.
I don't know you and whatever it is that goes on your world, all I see is loveliness, kindness, and beauty. All I can say is to the last sentence in the sentiment above is yes....always
We all have times when we feel like we might fade into oblivion without being noticed.
You for one have touched so many people that I doubt it will ever be the case.
You have your ups and downs much like everyone at least you put it out there not like everyone.
Be strong on your journey and you should know that you are always in our thoughts whether this thread is on page 1 or 10.
Your thought provoking posts have touched a chord so many times, it's lovely how raw and untethered you are sometimes.
I hope you find peace with your internal fights and continue to get better, you are definitely one badass battle
And, of course, the one who matters most is yourself.
Often difficult to put into practice, but essential.
I am listening. I don't have a thread, but understand those feelings. The dragon messaged me as I was writing this to you. I said that you were struggling, in my observation, with the dichotomy of subject vs object. Wondering if your words and thoughts mean anything to anyone, or if you are merely wank material. That, on a logical level, you must know just how many of us appreciate your thoughts and your writing. But that, until you feel worthy to yourself, all the praise and feedback won’t matter. I recognized, before he could say anything, that it's too bad I am not better at applying all my wonderful insights to myself. Whereas I would have said something to myself along the lines of "Project much, my dear?", he merely pointed out that a powerful and intelligent woman with self image issues could be a mirror of myself. So, I hope that I am listening and really hearing you...not just projecting my own issues. And I hope you hear that I do care. And that it does not feel like I am trying to "fix" anything. I know how that feels as well. Sometimes you just need to be in your darkness, to acknowledge it, to share it with the ones closest to you, before you can move your way up and out of it. No one else can fix it for you.
I am glad that you feel stronger than you used to be and are better at focusing on what makes you happy. I agree with your statement that everything we have within us is exactly what we need to face all of our challenges, trials, and tribulations. As you said to Honey, I see so much strength in you.
*And shout out to Honey*
Honey, your insights and ability to express them are amazing.
What you wrote here is exceptional. Your strength in knowing and being unapologetically who you are is immeasurable.
~A
I used to think that the creation of a piece of physical art was the highest of accomplishment. To be able to point to something, painting, drawing, sculpture, and be able to say ‘I did that.’ I still think them important, but it is the pieces that really make me think... the ones that draw me in and leave me staring and wracking my mind for meaning... the ones that make me want to create myself that are the most artistic.
Moochie, listen to Angelica, she is wise and insightful
I used to think that the creation of a piece of physical art was the highest of accomplishment. To be able to point to something, painting, drawing, sculpture, and be able to say ‘I did that.’ I still think them important, but it is the pieces that really make me think... the ones that draw me in and leave me staring and wracking my mind for meaning... the ones that make me want to create myself that are the most artistic.
I used to think that the creation of a piece of physical art was the highest of accomplishment. To be able to point to something, painting, drawing, sculpture, and be able to say ‘I did that.’ I still think them important, but it is the pieces that really make me think... the ones that draw me in and leave me staring and wracking my mind for meaning... the ones that make me want to create myself that are the most artistic.
I used to think that the creation of a piece of physical art was the highest of accomplishment. To be able to point to something, painting, drawing, sculpture, and be able to say ‘I did that.’ I still think them important, but it is the pieces that really make me think... the ones that draw me in and leave me staring and wracking my mind for meaning... the ones that make me want to create myself that are the most artistic.
Just a beautiful derriere! Great picture!
You stay away from the art museum girl. They won't let you leave.
Absolutely gorgeous view
This last pic is it. The 2019 Dribble Award has been given early. It pulls everything together. Simply stunning piece of art.
I used to think that the creation of a piece of physical art was the highest of accomplishment. To be able to point to something, painting, drawing, sculpture, and be able to say ‘I did that.’ I still think them important, but it is the pieces that really make me think... the ones that draw me in and leave me staring and wracking my mind for meaning... the ones that make me want to create myself that are the most artistic.
I used to think that the creation of a piece of physical art was the highest of accomplishment. To be able to point to something, painting, drawing, sculpture, and be able to say ‘I did that.’ I still think them important, but it is the pieces that really make me think... the ones that draw me in and leave me staring and wracking my mind for meaning... the ones that make me want to create myself that are the most artistic.