Mucho serious thread: Religion, Sexuality and Traffic

[Svenskaflicka]

As for religion and traffic, I learned why so many Frenchies pray to God, when I visited a pen pal in France at the age of 16, and the whole family took a little vacation in the Alps.

Being a responsible family man, the father of the family SLOWED DOWN to 110 kms/hour when he couldn't see around the sharp corners of the mountain on the narrow, serpentine-like roads, with nothing but an abyss on the other side.

 

[Quasimodem]

We get the most arduous driving in Toronto, mainly due to the fact that Toronto is the most densely populated (however you wish to interpret that) and the prevalence of potholes in the streets. It has a diversely mixed population, although ghettoised. (Mozaiculated?)

The northeastern entrance to Toronto is a ten square mile border of asphalt coated countryside, whereon the city engineers shuffle road signs around weekly according to how they plan to build the roads. In truth, Barrie – 120 kilometres to the north – owes the bulk of its population to would-be Torontonians who kept missing the turn until they gave up and settled for life in Barrie.


Away from the cities and off the main highway, be wary of a local custom – the farmer’s stop. This is a manoeuver accomplished by lifting one’s foot off the accelerator the last twenty feet before a stop sign, then flooring it, once the vehicle has actually entered the crossroad.

A true practitioner can also touch the brake pedal enough to illuminate the brake lights without retarding the forward motion of the automobile. The manoeuver is designed to give any casual observer an acceptable impression that the driver intends to brake, until the moment he accelerates through.

Observing a true adept at the art of the farmer’s stop can be quite disconcerting, especially if you are about to enter the intersection from another direction, under the false belief that you have the right of way.


My hometown has been apostrophized as the only place on the face of the earth where you have to look both ways before crossing a one-way street.


Sex and religion has little to do with traffic, or vice versa. Canadians tend to be industrious fuckers, but that may be ascribed mostly to a lack of alternatives.

Unless you have a fetish for frostbite, there is precious little you can do outside for eight months of the year. In addition, screwing is an inexpensive way to keep warm, with a devalued dollar in your pocket and a blizzard outside.

 

[Gary Chambers]

Ahem. I may not be the most well-traveled liberal in this thread, but even I know that in Spain, red means, "Come on, el toro, do you worst," or in lay terms, "Charge." The other drivers had to wonder why the hell you were stopping.

You're right as usual, Sher, but at at least I know that you don't bother to stop for capsized wheelchairs in Miami unless you're a patron saint of erotica. The guy you scraped off the pavement was obviously Carl Hiassen researching his next novel about wheelchair thieves. The only reason he remained in a somnolent posture was to get a better view of your knickers as you struggled to lift the chair back to an upright position. And I bet he was so impressed he's since grown a beard.

 

[Guest]

Ah ha ha, Gary. Re. your flirt mechanism, as Celia said to the fool, Touchstone, in As You Like It, "that was laid on with a trowel."

Perdita

 

[shereads]

Ah ha ha, Gary. Re. your flirt mechanism, as Celia said to the fool, Touchstone, in As You Like It, "that was laid on with a trowel."

Perdita

The thicker, the better.

 

[shereads]

What makes for supernaturally polite traffic? I just got back from a stay in Ashland, Oregon...Ashland is a place where drivers stop for you if you hesitate on the sidewalk in the middle of a block in downtown. Not only do they stop, they wave you across the street and smile.

Aspen, Colorado is like that. Santa Barbara, CA too. I was in both places on business and probably the only driver who was in a hurry and obviously lost. Maybe people are extraordinarily polite when they're relatively stressfree and happy and have lots of money or are working for generous tippers. No one in Aspen or Santa Barbara seemed to worry about much. Even the homeless in Santa Barbara were polite, discreet and had matching blue sleeping bags.

Why honk your horn rudely, or compete for possession of a lane of traffic, or run down pedestrians or offer obscene gestures, in a place where everybody is already where they want to be?

 

[Gary Chambers]

Ah ha ha, Gary. Re. your flirt mechanism, as Celia said to the fool, Touchstone, in As You Like It, "that was laid on with a trowel."

Perdita

The thicker, the better.

I remember posting something about flirting, but can't recall where, and to make matters worse Bill's entire works are packed in boxes right now so I can't even check the context. Oh well, it sounds like much ado about nothing anyway. [groan] What with that and yesterday's atrocious mortephied mixador which someone kindly pointed out, I know exactly how it feels to have the head of an ass.

 

[shereads]

I remember posting something about flirting, but can't recall where, and to make matters worse Bill's entire works are packed in boxes right now so I can't even check the context. Oh well, it sounds like much ado about nothing anyway. [groan] What with that and yesterday's atrocious mortephied mixador which someone kindly pointed out, I know exactly how it feels to have the head of an ass.

Say what? <--- outdated Ebonics