My fiancé is boring! I dont know what to do! What do you men like?

[madetotakeit]

The only time I have ever had sex that I would categorize as boring was a one night stand. Sure there was physical attraction and lust, but there was no connection. It was more going through the motions for the physical only. It wasn't all his fault. I take responsibility too. If I can't keep myself enthused with a partner, there is something I'm not bringing to the table. That's why I don't do one night stands (Intentionally anyway...can't control the other persons fading interest.) Before I let somebody into my body, I want-need to be inside their head to an extent. That goes for vanilla as well as the kinkier variety. I choose precious few to be intimate with. I want it to be worth my while. There needs to be a compatibility of interests as well as styles. Anything less is empty. I want my life to be full.

IMO the OP wasn't complaining about the sex being boring, but more the lack of showing enthusiasm over one thing or another. It's good to get feedback to know that what we are doing is exciting. To know that when you look a certain way or do a certain thing it inspires unbridled enthusiasm. To feel that the partner is capable of being passionate. Someone who is completely open minded and willing to do whatever yet shows no excitability is akin to having sex with a robot. It may give you what you want physically, but emotionally it is a blank slate.

To me, life without passion is just going through the motions. I couldn't imagine spending my life without it. I want to be with someone that I can verbally spar with on occasion. It shows that they feel strongly about something. I want somebody who is okay with bringing kink into the picture. But I want them to feel strongly about it.

Please give me the hair pulling, whips, chains, whatever can be pulled from a devious mind that gives pleasure. However, I never considered that to be necessary for good sex. Sex can be spiritually connecting and that is just as fulfilling. In actuality the best experience I ever had was that type of encounter. A complete connection of body, mind, and spirit. No, the BDSM wasn't missing from my sex life. It was just missing from me. It is a need unto itself.

 

[AvaAdore]

I think it varies for everyone, but often is as simple as getting caught up in the fantasy of the big day (and not thinking much beyond it), afraid of the SO's reaction to pulling out, feeling obligated to not disappoint people looking forward to the wedding/marriage, feeling stupid to have gone this far and then realising it is not right, feeling confused, feeling you can no longer trust yourself, feeling you have failed at one of lifes milestones...all valid at the moment, but often not near as important in hindsight.

Catalina

Am I the only female in the world terrified of weddings? Who would happily get married just by going and filling out the appropriate forms?

 

[twysted73]

Am I the only female in the world terrified of weddings? Who would happily get married just by going and filling out the appropriate forms?

Here here!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Good luck...

thats all I'll say

 

[DeservingBitch]

Am I the only female in the world terrified of weddings? Who would happily get married just by going and filling out the appropriate forms?

Terrified, no. Disinterested, yes.

I would consider marriage only in order to get the rights and privileges associated with it. Or to facilitate my partner's immigration and access to citizenship.

Knowing that I would be offending the sensibilities of bigoted assholes would be my wedding gift.

 

[FurryFury]

Am I the only female in the world terrified of weddings? Who would happily get married just by going and filling out the appropriate forms?

I've literally been shaking at two out of three weddings. (We did the first one twice, once at the JOP and once at church, those were big mistakes.)

Philosophically I think marriage is crazy for women. I believe it was created by men for men. The subsequent propaganda that all women want to be married and men don't hasn't changed my mind one iota.

I cry at weddings. Usually I cry for the women being shackled but sometimes also for the men. It depends on which is a friend and what kind of lunatic they are making these wild ass vows to.

I can't fucking believe I've been married and had kids.

I can't fucking believe I'm so happy with my life.

This was so not the script I had in my head.

LMAO!

It's like of like fucking though, once your cherry's been broke, can you really turn down the next tumble?

ROTF!

I'm pretty serious even though I'm amusing myself here.