My wife cheated. I found out. After I got over the initial shock, hurt, and anger, the whole thing became an intense turn-on.

[YourSecretDesires]

An ex-gf cheated on me. I was pissed off by the deception but the idea kind of turned me on. However the reason was because I wasn't really that into her and didn't respect her much. I preferred treating her like a plaything or a whore which she also liked because she lacked self respect. Looking back I regret not taking fuller advantage and just having more wild experiences, threeways, bukkakes gangbangs, whatever. Basically she "cheated" because I wouldn't get serious with her and kept trying to dump her. I didn't care for her much but enjoyed the degrading sex part. She was incredibly toxic though so not worth the aggravation. An all around bad situation but looking back I have no hard feelings, lol.

 

[policywank]

In days of old (other refer to them as "the good old days"), women used to be constrained in their cheating by the possibility of an inconvenient/difficult-to-explain pregnancy.

Game over, fellas. The only significant restraint in them proceeds from their morals.

(Ladies, men got "caught" with their privates dangling when paternity-determination became possible. Until then they were as cheat-y as their morals would allow, which was significant. As someone who has been married, and had sex with a married woman [BEFORE I was married], I've been in the deep end of the pool. It's not all black and white.)

The possibility of getting caught is part of the picture. But even more than that was the consequences.

In days of old the consequences for a woman getting caught cheating were harsher across the board than they were for men. In large part that was because society was structured to control women and limit our options so that we would be dependent upon men.

If a man cheated his wife couldn't really afford to dump him. She had no (or limited) access to the work force or education. Society had a dim view of divorced women regardless of how that came to be. And all those things would be magnified if she also had children. Meanwhile society might tut-tut the man a bit but then turn a blind eye and rationalize that boys will be boys.

If a woman cheated she faced the prospect of being dumped, pushed to the margins of society, losing her children and being deemed damaged goods no longer suitable for any respectable man. I'd say that discouraged us from cheating, but it also compelled us to be much more secretive to the point that whatever data we think we have from those days would be distorted.

I read a thing elsewhere recently where the point was also made about how society treats cheating nowadays. If a man cheats the default assumption is that he is a dirt bag and his partner is not diminished in people's eyes for his actions. If a woman cheats she is given more latitude to be justified (not always but it is at least more likely than it is for men) and her man is viewed as lesser - the cuckold who could not satisfy his wife. So when it actually happens a woman who has been cheated on is more likely to condemn the cheater publicly whereas the man who has been cheated upon is inclined to keep it quiet. That is all a bit simplified, but I think it has some validity and would naturally lead to a distortion in cheating episodes that are self reported by the aggrieved partner.

 

[jackthelad11]

Isn’t that kind of interesting of itself though? She could have had anyone, but chose that kind of person to have an affair with?

Why does it stop you from being turned on?

Some women are just attracted to "bad boys".
Same with guys......anyone here turned on by sluts/slut wives...?????

 

[Easypeter]

My husband cheated on me a few times that I know of. We separated 3 times because of it and two of them were friends of mine. It was embarrassing.

You might be embarrassed but maybe you should start teasing them about fucking married guys , hinting to them you know he’s fucking around and you might start fucking a few married guys too . That should get their attention . Might even stop them from pulling down their panties for your husband

 

[Waiter519123]

My husband cheated on me a few times that I know of. We separated 3 times because of it and two of them were friends of mine. It was embarrassing.

That’s a shame my hart goes bout to you.

 

[TonyF862]

My husband cheated on me a few times that I know of. We separated 3 times because of it and two of them were friends of mine. It was embarrassing.

Not cool. Are you still with him? if so, why?

 

[TonyF862]

I like the idea of my wife fucking other guys (and girls for that matter). BUT cheating is a WHOLE different thing. The turn on is knowing she is that sexual creature wanting to explore all that sex had to offer. To share that WITH me (and vice versa). Going behind my back, eliminates that (at least for me). Lying, cheating, etc is counter the spirit of open, healthy sex. It's exciting enough to know my wife desires a variety of sex. I find no excitement in lying (for me or for her)

 

[Justfantasies]

I like the idea of my wife fucking other guys (and girls for that matter). BUT cheating is a WHOLE different thing. The turn on is knowing she is that sexual creature wanting to explore all that sex had to offer. To share that WITH me (and vice versa). Going behind my back, eliminates that (at least for me). Lying, cheating, etc is counter the spirit of open, healthy sex. It's exciting enough to know my wife desires a variety of sex. I find no excitement in lying (for me or for her)

The reality is that cheating does not follow rules

 

[Yarglenurp]

I like the idea of my wife fucking other guys (and girls for that matter). BUT cheating is a WHOLE different thing. The turn on is knowing she is that sexual creature wanting to explore all that sex had to offer. To share that WITH me (and vice versa). Going behind my back, eliminates that (at least for me). Lying, cheating, etc is counter the spirit of open, healthy sex. It's exciting enough to know my wife desires a variety of sex. I find no excitement in lying (for me or for her)

Well, that’s why it’s just a fantasy for most people. Like beating your bully, abandoning your job to pursue your passions, or taking out health insurance execs, these are not things that ordinary people actually do.

 

[gtnlynn]

All of my wife's cheating occurred when we were dating in college. She was free to date, but not to have sex with other guys while I was away at another university. I suspected she was having sex, but she firmly denied it. Still, I was terribly jealous of her time with the other men she dated. She saw them every day, and I only saw her once or twice a month. After we had been married a while, she confessed that she was having sex at least once a week with other men. As she told me about it, I got really hard and had sex with her. Now I get really turned on by all of her stories of sex with others, including those times she did it with my permission after we married.

 

[ILikeIt]

My wife cheated on me with a work friend two years into our marriage. I never knew. She confessed two years later. She was free and clear and had gotten away with it. I was completely ignorant. The signs were there but I ignored them as I didn't think she would ever do anything like that. I thought that was impossible. I was wrong. I'm glad she told me but a part of me wishes she hadn't. We have been married a long time, over fifty years now, and I love her and do trust her but there is a piece of me that can't quite get over that infidelity. To this day I still have dreams where she cheats on me. I tell her about the dreams and she will ask me why I have them. The answer is obvious but she acts like she doesn't know why. It still hurts, especially the emotional aspect of her affair; however, over time I've eroticizied the memory and for a long time now it has been sexually exciting for me to imagine her having sex with him.

 

[Ed_Sumner]

I like the idea of my wife fucking other guys (and girls for that matter). BUT cheating is a WHOLE different thing. The turn on is knowing she is that sexual creature wanting to explore all that sex had to offer. To share that WITH me (and vice versa). Going behind my back, eliminates that (at least for me). Lying, cheating, etc is counter the spirit of open, healthy sex. It's exciting enough to know my wife desires a variety of sex. I find no excitement in lying (for me or for her)

To be clear, I didn't choose for her to cheat and lie and never would have. It was thrust on me, so to speak. But we were able to work through it and put our relationship on a new foundation of 100% honesty going forward, which is what enabled me to look back and appreciate the eroticism of what she did with her colleague. If the turn-on is knowing she's a sexual creature with needs she wants to explore, finding out that she was such a sexual creature that she couldn't resist the charms of a strapping, well-hung single stud and was willing to cheat to experience that is a powerful turn-on too.

 

[Ed_Sumner]

That's 100% true for me and wifey.

 

[TonyF862]

To be clear, I didn't choose for her to cheat and lie and never would have. It was thrust on me, so to speak. But we were able to work through it and put our relationship on a new foundation of 100% honesty going forward, which is what enabled me to look back and appreciate the eroticism of what she did with her colleague. If the turn-on is knowing she's a sexual creature with needs she wants to explore, finding out that she was such a sexual creature that she couldn't resist the charms of a strapping, well-hung single stud and was willing to cheat to experience that is a powerful turn-on too.

Agreed!

 

[Matt3427]

We've been together over 30 years from when she was 19. In our mid 20s I spent a lot of time overseas with my work over a 3 year period. About two years after that stopped I found out she had slept with a few different men during that period. A mix of one-offs, some with people we both knew, one with a man in his 60s, all without protection and a couple of times ended up taking the morning after pill as a precaution. We got over it and have actually made fun out of it over the years. Fast forward to now and after three kids and being a stay-at-home mum for years, she now meets a young lad regularly for sex and it has changed our sex life dramatically. All good fun.