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spring breezes has written three in my opinion well crafted evocative poems in the last three weeks I feel this is worth a look as well :)
 
Equivalence by oneiria is the first "editor's choice" I've seen in quite awhile. This poet is a master at packing a lot into small spaces and not surprisingly does so here.
 
Dried Summer Grass by Clearday I think is very thought provoking and worth reading in my opinion.

This poet makes a lot of comments on others' work, which raises a point. There have been other postings in the last few days by poets who have some talent and receive a fair amount of comments on their work, but who, as near as I can tell, don't comment on others' work. I agree with Tzara on this. I'm reluctant to comment on those poets' work, either directly or here.
 
greenmountaineer said:
Dried Summer Grass by Clearday I think is very thought provoking and worth reading in my opinion.

This poet makes a lot of comments on others' work, which raises a point. There have been other postings in the last few days by poets who have some talent and receive a fair amount of comments on their work, but who, as near as I can tell, don't comment on others' work. I agree with Tzara on this. I'm reluctant to comment on those poets' work, either directly or here.
Click to expand...

I agree that Dried Summer Grass is worth reading.

But like you I am reluctant to comment on other poet's worth, nor on authors of stories. I do not consider myself competent to judge.

Since my studies of English, Latin and French Literature many decades ago I have found that analysing any work in detail destroys it for me. I prefer to accept it as it is instead of pulling it to pieces looking at language, plot, effects and skills used. I can't put the work back together again once I have dismembered it.
 
A plea for comments – and for forbearance for those that do not want to leave them.

It is possible that those that have been on the site for a long time and are active within the thread community may forget how it feels for people when we first enter poems into Literotica.

We have considerable trepidation but, as with people first entering stories, at the back (or even front) of our minds is the fond fantasy that everyone will rush up and say it is the best thing that they have ever seen and ought to be published outside – and of course our poems are not that good.

The best explanation I can make of poetry is that it is an attempt to get across something that matters in life – whether it is say about death or just the feel of wind on the face – painted with a feather or a sledgehammer (OK I am mixing my metaphors but fuck it). Eliot wrote Ash Wednesday (fairly high on the enigmatic scale) – then edited and published an anthology of Kipling’s verse (which Eliot adored). So there is a pretty broad spectrum of what good poetry can be.

It really, really helps for us and means a great deal when we receive comments – particularly if they are not abusive or patronising. Not always easy. I for one have been stymied facing a person’s first poem to find anything positive or constructive to say.

I was first attracted to Literotica by the erotic side, entered a couple of stories and intended and have the first drafts or story lines for several more. Then I entered a poem and was hooked on this hub. It was the kindness that attracted me most. It was not just that you do not get comments like ‘I hope you eat shit and die’ (now deleted by some editor on the site) or the actually nastier ‘another old man with the ambition to write and of course it has to be about being a sick fuck’. Some of you may remember LesseloovesPeter (she wrote three utterly, utterly brilliant short stories) who, if she did not either like or understand the new person’s poem, would leave some highly gnomic and enigmatic comment. She left a highly enigmatic and gnomic comment on my first poem – and I was touched and thrilled to bits.

I found I valued most the comments that were most informative.

From reading the poems, comments and skimming the threads, it is clear there is a broad range of people on the poetry hub including the articulate and sociable, the barely house trained and the acutely shy. I agree with Oggbashan that not everybody wants to or finds it easy to leave comments. Indeed, there something a bit distasteful about our only leaving comments in order that other should leave comments on ours. If I saw that a writer was being intentionally unkind on the site I believe I would avoid leaving comments – otherwise, if I can see any worth in a poem, I am happy to leave a comment.

Plea to Angeline. If you can, please leave this in this thread. Primarily it is about people viewing the new poems so I do believe that this is the right thread for it.

Finally, my apologies if this goes pear shaped (it is my first entry on the threads) or comes across badly.
 
Cleardaynow said:
A plea for comments – and for forbearance for those that do not want to leave them.


Finally, my apologies if this goes pear shaped (it is my first entry on the threads) or comes across badly.
Click to expand...

You come across to me very fine and I agree with most you say. :)
Welcome to the threads.
 
I've perused the New Poems page every once in a while the past few years and OpenField is pretty inspirational. I almost want to try and write a poem in honor of the writer. I put the poet right up there with many of the folks who've come through PF&D, stayed a bit and those long gone. I almost hope it's not a tzara, annaswirls, 1201...that maybe there's someone new and really coming with the best they got.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1590010&page=submissions

Anyway, New Poem review:

secret history
by OpenField©

o, yes, that apologetic tone,
scented paper,

the red smear
of lipstick, as if brushed-over slights

gathered like crisp autumn leaves
for burning, for burning

does it really matter it was my hand cut
this proud figure down?

******
It took me maybe six reads to get the full image, I couldn't figure out how the last couple fit and it's like this organic coming-to-being, just a way of writing that you get more out of reading by the repetition of reading. Very rare and special.
 
4/20 a big day for new poetry. Two poems going head to head:

Three Tanka for Yosano Akiko
byOpenField©

Poetry is the sculpture of real feelings.
—Yosano Akiko

i
Fresh from her bath,
wet as a willow sapling
in clean spring rain,
she flushes newly opened,
crimson rhododendron.

ii
Parted robe,
her breasts heavy as fruit,
blossom-delicate.
I slow my breathing, so
to not bruise her spread flesh.

iii
Tangled hair
flows over my chest, a stream,
mysterious
and artful, my senses drugged
as if by incense at her touch.

[vs.]

The Coin
byCleardaynow©

We who live our lives within the outer margin, with sad
Humanity we face our equivocal fate.
For living is seeing a double sided coin
Spin eternally, never knowing the image that
Is repeated there. We hang suspended in our
Unbelief, ever hoping, never knowing.
Protecting the hurt by saying we believe
In disbelief.
Ever reeling, ever dealing, never seeing
We are the thing we seek.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The short poem has long been the only form, the form encircling all forms. 8-20 lines of 8-12 syllables. Who has time to read thirty lines, oh the misery... The Coin is a good poem, if you only have thirty seconds to spare in your day you can read The Coin and feel that it's a nice poem and that it says something and go on with your day and not think about it again.

But here's the twist, dear reader, Three Tanaka isn't itself a better poem. There's little veiling of the imagery, excellent use of metaphor, we have a pretty good idea of what the poet is saying, thinking, feeling and most importantly, expressing. Maybe it means something more to a bilingual Japanese grandmother. Yet, it's more of a companion piece to some greater work than a work-in-itself. It's like saying something about Masahiro Tanaka's Major League Baseball career when he's only pitched 3 games. Each game is a little poem, each game says very little about Tanaka as athlete.

Poets of short poems have advantage over folks who want to really come out with technique and have a bunch to say and all the lines past 20 to say it. It's difficult sustaining the interest of dear reader in those 40+ liners, who remembers the middle-portion of Howl or the qualities of "The Mariner, so strange and unhuman"? While I know Fire and Ice and 1201's Undo Ki by heart.

I gave both of these poems 5/5 because they made the effort to say something, they fashioned quality poems(though I would criticize each poet for shrimping on poetic technique and relying too heavily on tools of prose). The slight advantage probably goes to OpenField because there is genuine studied technique present and Cleardaynow seems to rely more on habitual practice to get them through their routine. Both commendable qualities that I wish I had.
 
Epmd607 said:
I gave both of these poems 5/5 because they made the effort to say something, they fashioned quality poems(though I would criticize each poet for shrimping on poetic technique and relying too heavily on tools of prose). The slight advantage probably goes to OpenField because there is genuine studied technique present and Cleardaynow seems to rely more on habitual practice to get them through their routine. Both commendable qualities that I wish I had.
Click to expand...

Can you elaborate, please? I have trouble identifying these things you mention.
 
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