New Poet

[twelveoone]

oh, who could ever ignore you?

it's the piano, I reversed the colours of the keys, gets alot of attention.

 

[butters]

it's the piano, I reversed the colours of the keys, gets alot of attention.

your piano has keys???

colour me surprised

 

[twelveoone]

your piano has keys???

colour me surprised

no my keys has a piano.

 

[butters]

no my keys has a piano.

see? that's how you roll. that's what makes you work.

 

[peterprincipal]

if i may,
as i'm no poet,

just write.

give your lyric voice wing here;
without regard to anything first
but the resonance in your ear.

we're all magpies
with varied degrees of certainty...
but none moreso
than you must have for your work.

just write.

there's no penalty to be waged...
no real garland to be won.

and if ever an incubation spot were to be,

just write.
write here.

Hottchic, this may be the wisest advice you ever will receive here.
Heed it well, and welcome.
Who am I? Been here before. Who will discover?

 

[twelveoone]

Hottchic, this may be the wisest advice you ever will receive here.
Heed it well, and welcome.
Who am I? Been here before. Who will discover?

I don't think she came back, seen her elsewhere.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Who am I?

Hi, drown!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hi, drown!

Roflll

 

[butters]

Hottchic, this may be the wisest advice you ever will receive here.
Heed it well, and welcome.
Who am I? Been here before. Who will discover?

*shrugs*

higher and higher, baybeeee
principled principal, one would hope.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hottchic, this may be the wisest advice you ever will receive here.
Heed it well, and welcome.
Who am I? Been here before. Who will discover?

more subterfuge? who cares? yawnnnnnnn

 

[Corpse_rider]

If you are going to write poetry you need to read it as well. It is a different medium to fiction, and if you want to communicate your thoughts, feelings, emotions through poetry successfully you need to understand how poetry works - at least the basics.
Good luck with your writing.

 

[drown]

dandy little circle jerk...

no.
not me, excellency.

 

[hottchic]

I don't think she came back, seen her elsewhere.

I am in the process of coming back, I stopped coming to the Lit forums altogether for 2 months, I either suspended writing my successful series of erotic stories.

It was nothing to do with anything anybody said to me on any of the forums, it was just that other issues came up in my life and then for a while I lost the inspiration to write.

This happens in my life, I often seem to go through phases where I change the focus of my concentration from time to time.

Any way I rapidly wrote two new chapters of my successful series Tits Have Benefits and have almost finished writing a third.

Who knows, I may even attempt writing poetry again.

 

[hottchic]

Another attempt.....

Strange thoughts

Feelings unclear

Confusion in my days


I have some peace

but fears remain

There are lessons I must learn

 

[Angeline]

L8 is also cliche, which is not a sin, but a cliche is actually a dead metaphor. A dead metaphor is an image which has become the poetic meaning and the poetry is lost.

The real problem is choosing one which is a poor fit. The caution cliche might work if the reader had a better idea of the choices you face on Wednesday. Caution can only exist in the face of risk (note clever insertion of metaphor). When one uses an image which only appears with its opposite, both must be visible.

Your post makes me want to start a band called the Dead Metaphors. It just rolls out of the mouth so nicely with its little rhyme. Unfortunately I can't play any musical instruments. And I really can't sing.

So I am giving this idea away for free! Any of you poets can start a band and call it the Dead Metaphors. Sorta like the Dead Kennedys.. Dark, aren't they?

Anyway I like all the advice in this thread, especially yours, Senna. I wouldn't mind your (or anyone's) take on the Asian holistic approach to writing a poem. I haven't a clue what that means. I do like how well you've explained the difference between an idea and poetry: it really is the key imho.

 

[Angeline]

Strange thoughts

Feelings unclear

Confusion in my days


I have some peace

but fears remain

There are lessons I must learn

Hey hottchic. I like that you're hanging in there. Writing poetry is a great outlet and creative act. Your poem is too generic for me to appreciate though. Words like "Feelings" and "peace" and "fears" are too general and vague to hook me as a reader. If you were more specific and said what feelings, like: "I kicked the door." (I'm angry), "I traced my fingers through my tears" (I'm sad), "My heart beating double-time" (I'm scared"), your poem would work much better. Those are all actual things that can happen, that everyone has experieced and can relate to, and most important: that are active. The passive voice is not your friend in a poem.

If you can connect something like "feelings" to specific feelings you've had, or even just one feeling you can identify, your poem will communicate more actively to readers. And if you can do that with most of the words in your poem, methodically, one by one, if you have to, you will improve as a poet.

It also helps a lot to read others' poems and see what appeals to you. Who are your favorite poets and why do you like the poems you like? That will get you thinking about poetry in a way that's conducive to writing more specifically.

But mainly keep writing.

 

[hottchic]

Hey hottchic. I like that you're hanging in there. Writing poetry is a great outlet and creative act. Your poem is too generic for me to appreciate though. Words like "Feelings" and "peace" and "fears" are too general and vague to hook me as a reader. If you were more specific and said what feelings, like: "I kicked the door." (I'm angry), "I traced my fingers through my tears" (I'm sad), "My heart beating double-time" (I'm scared"), your poem would work much better. Those are all actual things that can happen, that everyone has experieced and can relate to, and most important: that are active. The passive voice is not your friend in a poem.

If you can connect something like "feelings" to specific feelings you've had, or even just one feeling you can identify, your poem will communicate more actively to readers. And if you can do that with most of the words in your poem, methodically, one by one, if you have to, you will improve as a poet.

It also helps a lot to read others' poems and see what appeals to you. Who are your favorite poets and why do you like the poems you like? That will get you thinking about poetry in a way that's conducive to writing more specifically.

But mainly keep writing.

If my attempts at poems have anything at all it is probably that I am trying to be honest, whether I am successful or not I don't know, but actually you could argue that I admit part of the problem in the my attempt at a poem.

"Feelings unclear"

and then later I indicate that I need to work on it,

"There are lessons I must learn"

Interestly in my erotic stories I do not seem to have such a problem of describing the emotions of my characters maybe it says something about me that I find it easier to express the emotions of a fictional character than my own.

To a certain extent I am in two minds about attempting to write poems.

On the one hand I often think that I seem to be capable of writing erotic stories that are well recieved, so why should I go to so much trouble to try to wtite poetry, yet part of me wants to express myself in that way.

Anyway here goes nothing, an attempt to rehash what I wrote originally:


Why am I here? What's the point? Who am I?

I am in the dark, drained, how long will this last?

It's like my head is filled with mush, like on dope or something.


My life is better I can be what I am, and that's enough.

But the shadows of half disclosed fears are still there.

How much must I endure in order to learn what I need to?

 

[Angeline]

If my attempts at poems have anything at all it is probably that I am trying to be honest, whether I am successful or not I don't know, but actually you could argue that I admit part of the problem in the my attempt at a poem.

"Feelings unclear"

and then later I indicate that I need to work on it,

"There are lessons I must learn"

Interestly in my erotic stories I do not seem to have such a problem of describing the emotions of my characters maybe it says something about me that I find it easier to express the emotions of a fictional character than my own.

To a certain extent I am in two minds about attempting to write poems.

On the one hand I often think that I seem to be capable of writing erotic stories that are well recieved, so why should I go to so much trouble to try to wtite poetry, yet part of me wants to express myself in that way.

Anyway here goes nothing, an attempt to rehash what I wrote originally:


Why am I here? What's the point? Who am I?

I am in the dark, drained, how long will this last?

It's like my head is filled with mush, like on dope or something.


My life is better I can be what I am, and that's enough.

But the shadows of half disclosed fears are still there.

How much must I endure in order to learn what I need to?

I think you're on the right track, but if you read your poem and then read another poem (by someone else, famous or not) that you like and think is good, you will see that there are still big differences between the two. And don't get me wrong: I'm not trying to sound like some big authority. This is just my opinion and I still have a lot to learn about how to write a good poem myself. I think that it's a process where the quality of one's poems increase slowly and in small increments as one learns. Of course all that really matters is whether you are happy with what you write. Certainly you could ask twenty people here what constitutes good poetry and you'd get twenty different opinions, so your own is the one that matters.

Writing poetry is quite different from writing prose imho, and personally I find it harder to write a good story than I do a good poem. I believe that comes from my almost singular focus on poems for a long time (years). So the question really is how much of a committment you want to make to poetry? I wouldn't fault anyone who decides writing poems is not for them. I have sort of an obession about writing poems and that is what drives me to keep trying. If you do decide to stick around and work on improving, you'll get a lot of support. There are good people posting here and they are generous with their time and advice.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

If my attempts at poems have anything at all it is probably that I am trying to be honest, whether I am successful or not I don't know, but actually you could argue that I admit part of the problem in the my attempt at a poem.

"Feelings unclear"

and then later I indicate that I need to work on it,

"There are lessons I must learn"

Interestly in my erotic stories I do not seem to have such a problem of describing the emotions of my characters maybe it says something about me that I find it easier to express the emotions of a fictional character than my own.

To a certain extent I am in two minds about attempting to write poems.

On the one hand I often think that I seem to be capable of writing erotic stories that are well recieved, so why should I go to so much trouble to try to wtite poetry, yet part of me wants to express myself in that way.

Anyway here goes nothing, an attempt to rehash what I wrote originally:


Why am I here? What's the point? Who am I?

I am in the dark, drained, how long will this last?

It's like my head is filled with mush, like on dope or something.


My life is better I can be what I am, and that's enough.

But the shadows of half disclosed fears are still there.

How much must I endure in order to learn what I need to?

I think chopping out a lot of the 'I's would help this flow better i.e in the second line for instance you can lose the 'I am' altogether. Will look at it again tomorrow it's silly o'clock here and I'm too tired to concentrate!

 

[hottchic]

I think chopping out a lot of the 'I's would help this flow better i.e in the second line for instance you can lose the 'I am' altogether. Will look at it again tomorrow it's silly o'clock here and I'm too tired to concentrate!

I came back on this late I know, here is another rehash:


Why am I here? What's the point? Who am I?

In the dark, drained, how long will this last?

Head is filled with mush, like on dope or something.


Life is better I can be what I am, and that's enough.

But the shadows of half disclosed fears are still there.

How much must I endure in order to learn?