The first two parts should have been one. Both are essentially Kayla's flirting and growing desire to seduce Michael. His final remark in part 2 would make for a better read it were all just part 1.My first ever submissions "Michael & Kayla" and "Michael & Kayla Pt. 02" are up! Please be nice to this newbie! I have already gotten some feedback on making my stories longer, and I will definitely consider this in the future. I modeled this story into shorter chapters and I already have up to Pt. 06 on the way. Comment if you like 'em and tell me what you like!
https://www.literotica.com/s/michael-and-kayla
https://www.literotica.com/s/michael-and-kayla-pt-02
Thanks for the feedback, definitely noted for future stories.
Oh WOW, I loved this story, every last syllable. It is an entire fantasy of mine that I would love to fulfil. Did you write it from experience or desire to experience it? Oh please go back and visit the club again, maybe join in with another couple, watch others for longer. Tell us more about your night in the hotel. I can just imagine you walking back with your BF's cum leaking from your pussy. Well done and 5 stars even though there was a missing word. I would hate that.My first story, and would appreciate the feedback: https://www.literotica.com/s/thirst-20
of course, I’ve read it a million time, and realize now there’s a word missing in the very last sentence!
You’re so kind! Thank you! The bar is very real. The club, not so much, although the activities inside are loosely based on an experience at another club. I am slowly working on a second installment. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated!
Can I come (cum) with you next time?
It was an interesting read. I must admit, I was not fond of Mercedes at the outset of the story. To me, she was overly self centered and not very likable, perhaps explaining her two year drought. However, as the story progressed, she became more human, showing she could possibly develop feelings for others. I enjoyed her evolution. Whether she actually achieves a more balanced and loving personality remains to be seen. I'd encourage you to write another installment to answer that question.
Thanks. I expect that there will be more entries in Dee's journal.
Having read this one...I didn't vote or leave a comment, yet. This is a totally off the wall story for me. The content, I mean. I'll let it stew for a while and get back to it. You certainly have a good style of writing. It has a few mechanical things that jarred me as I read it. I didn't feel too put off by them, though.
Out of curiosity, I gave this a read. Although unfamiliar with the kink/story concept, I had no trouble following its path.
...femdom elements and erotic nastiness and upped the sugar levels.
