New to BDSM, any suggestions?!

[LittleMissMafia]

Darn. That could be interesting.

Well I would if she was interested and my partner said I could lol "wink"wink"

 

[LittleMissMafia]

That is helpful, I never really thought about it like that. See, I also grew up fighting my siblings. I had two brothers, one older and one younger. Where my little brother and I are close in age by 15 months; my older brother has 3 years on me. I was raised by my father and no mother in the picture for the most part, so I grew up essentially like a boy for a good portion of my life. My dad had no sisters growing up and his father was a bit of an alpha male, so he didn’t really know how to raise a girl. He just let us “take it outside” when we had issues. We would have full on knock out drag outs in the back yard, I being mostly the winner, seriously no lie. My brothers will attest to it. But as you said boys start to get bigger around puberty and I started to loose fights but my dad never really said much except to me, “If you can’t take it, leave them alone.” So of course I would only initiate the fights when I saw just cause and had something near by to assist me. I grew up really tough and my hubby used to make comments about how much he liked my tomboy side. With that said, I wouldn’t have seen him think like that because I had brothers who didn’t care that I was a female. It’s obvious I need to step back and really have a talk about the rougher side of BDSM with him. I don’t mind just sticking to the softer side if it makes him feel more comfortable.

Thank you for your insight.

I really love the thoughts shared on this page.

I grew up in a emotionally and physically abusive family.
emotional and item blackmail was not uncommon, and i shudder every time i think of a 4ft 2" or poly pipe of a police belt buckle.
I have learned to fight back, be fiery, but at the same time i have learned that you cannot always blow up, you have to learn to respond only to the behaviour that you want out of people, ignore the rest.
You cannot fight behaviour with violence because you destroy any trust and the object you are trying to achieve then becomes unattainable until the trust is brought back.
People are naturally attention seekers, so giving attention only to the actions wanted will create good habits and desired behaviour.

Men and delicate, despite their masculinity and strength.
As much as they hate to admit it, they do have feelings, and you will find that they will beat themselves up much more internally that anything you might say to them.

I am finding that there is delicatness to the roughness, you need to know the force to apply, the words which go with that force and the buttons to press.

 

[PeachandCream83]

Sounds like you have found the right track by the description of your laundry punishment/discipline...whatever. He has the right idea going there. However for many of us what you described would be a nice reward, not even close to being a punishment lol!

I took it as a reward But remember he's not into BDSM really and I think he's just going off of fantasies or stories; or even just his idea of BDSM. We're still working out the kinks. But we're having fun doing it.

We had a another little act of rough play today and he is def getting better

 

[PeachandCream83]

Well I would if she was interested and my partner said I could lol "wink"wink"

I’ve experimented with a girl before I met my hubby and I don’t have a prob. In fact since I have been talking to my husband about my wants and need in the bedroom; he’s been opening up too. He told me he wants to watch me fuck a chick with a strap on. He said he doesn’t even have to join; just watching would be enough for him.
I don’t know if that would be a possibility because I don’t know anyone nearby who would even be into that kinda thing. Although it might be fun to try

 

[PeachandCream83]

Hubby wants an exhibitionist!

Ok so most of that have been following know that I’ve been trying to get my hubby to step out of his box for some BDSM. Well, here is a surprise, he’s a freak too!! He and I have been having all kinds of chit-chats about our fantasies and he likes some “kinky” stuff too.

Here’s a list of what he said he’s like:

1. Me screwing another chick with a strap on. (he said he just wants to watch)
2. He wants us to be exhibitionists. (have people watch us have sex and all; public sex)
3. And he wants me to be the Dome! He said he’d rather me TAKE him and MAKE him do things!

How the hell do I end up with another SUB!?

Anyway I told him I’d meet him in the middle if he will. To start we took some pics and I put them up on the forum to start getting used to people seeing my body. Please be nice if you view them. It was mostly for him.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=671298

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Ok so most of that have been following know that I’ve been trying to get my hubby to step out of his box for some BDSM. Well, here is a surprise, he’s a freak too!! He and I have been having all kinds of chit-chats about our fantasies and he likes some “kinky” stuff too.

Here’s a list of what he said he’s like:

1. Me screwing another chick with a strap on. (he said he just wants to watch)
2. He wants us to be exhibitionists. (have people watch us have sex and all; public sex)
3. And he wants me to be the Dome! He said he’d rather me TAKE him and MAKE him do things!

How the hell do I end up with another SUB!?

Anyway I told him I’d meet him in the middle if he will. To start we took some pics and I put them up on the forum to start getting used to people seeing my body. Please be nice if you view them. It was mostly for him.

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=671298

Well can see why he wants to show you off. You did the South proud!!!!!! I appreciate sharing the process you and your hubby are going through finding yourselfs. I myself have still found confusions and frustration at times. But having a loving relationship and that is truly the glue.

 

[LittleMissMafia]

I’ve experimented with a girl before I met my hubby and I don’t have a prob. In fact since I have been talking to my husband about my wants and need in the bedroom; he’s been opening up too. He told me he wants to watch me fuck a chick with a strap on. He said he doesn’t even have to join; just watching would be enough for him.
I don’t know if that would be a possibility because I don’t know anyone nearby who would even be into that kinda thing. Although it might be fun to try

LOL

Yeah my partner and i have considered this, but we have thought it more prudent to be well grounded with each other before we consider it......not that this stops my (or his, he just added!) fantasies mind you

Have been in a lesbian relationship but lit a shuck wen i found out she lied about her age and was supposedly 2 yrs younger than told originally!!!......never stayed around long enough to verify this......thought it prudent to GET THE HELL OUT LOL!!!!

 

[PeachandCream83]

LOL

Yeah my partner and i have considered this, but we have thought it more prudent to be well grounded with each other before we consider it......not that this stops my (or his, he just added!) fantasies mind you

Have been in a lesbian relationship but lit a shuck wen i found out she lied about her age and was supposedly 2 yrs younger than told originally!!!......never stayed around long enough to verify this......thought it prudent to GET THE HELL OUT LOL!!!!

Yeah I hear ya! Wouldn't want to be blamed for converting an innocent
I have friends in f/f relationships and I've even experimented with them before I met my hubby. Wasn't really my thing but it is pretty hot thinking about banging a chick from the back (maybe the idea is growing on me)

 

[PeachandCream83]

Just a thought....

I was pondering today on what I'd love for the hubby to do to me and realized I might like to be a Dome! Could a person be both?

 

[CutieMouse]

I was pondering today on what I'd love for the hubby to do to me and realized I might like to be a Dome! Could a person be both?

Yes, people refer to it as Switching. Itaje it you're feeling a little more comfortable with his interest in submitting to you?

 

[PeachandCream83]

Yes, people refer to it as Switching. Itaje it you're feeling a little more comfortable with his interest in submitting to you?

Raelly, I'm more comfy with being sub.......But, everynow and then I like to ge=ive the orders