nh's big book of Dr. visits.

[nh23]

I originally sent this as a PM, but NH asked me to post it in the thread, so, y'know, here it goes:

You sir are a good, good man. I needed that.

 

[nh23]

Um, fucking fucksuck.
I'm glad they're looking and I'm glad you're being treated, but fuck.

While you have strength and wits: what I've learned firsthand.

Push back.

Be a bitch.

Insist they do more.

And don't worry about going into debt. DO NOT.

Money you can make more of. Always.

They will treat you, good ones will. They'll mobilize. Med crushingly expensive? Then go to the ER and be admitted.

Don't be afraid to complain.

And don't let anyone shame you about your sex life or anything else.

Get cunning, witty, selfish, and shrewd when you are dealing with how to access treatment. Don't be too proud to pull some drama if it gets you into the door sooner. When appointments are three weeks out, suddenly I found there's one the same day when alluding to massive amounts of PAIN.

Thank you netz! All very good advice. I just need to be more forceful about it all I guess.

 

[nh23]

I had one about 10 years ago - I really wish they had warned me about how much it hurt! The nurse made me wait an hour before leaving because my blood pressure dropped so much, and I was bleeding for about 12 hours after too. Fortunately all my results were clear.

My thoughts are with you. I hope it's all good news for you from now on.

Thank you!

Yes, I"m having some bleeding myself. So I'm in bed trying very hard not to move right now.

 

[nh23]

I can't imagine how it feels to have this happen to you. As someone who *has* met you, and spent some very enjoyable time with you and some others from here, it hurts me to know that you're going through this. Please know that my thoughts are with you always, and "the antenna" is aimed right at you wherever you are and boosted to full power.

What ZRT and Netz said, too.

MasDom, I haven't met you, but if nh is happy with you, I'm glad she has you. She's a friend, and from the little bits I know of her life, she deserves someone as supportive as you obviously are. Know that her antenna has a sub-antenna aimed *your* way for strength and love. Take care of her. She's an important part of our community, a friend though we only got to spend about a day and a half together, and I'm sure she's much more than either of those things to you.

Mazel tov.

Thank you Sir W. You are one in a million. I so very much appreciate the kind words to Master. This is so hard for him.

 

[nh23]

Wow. *hugs* I'd talk to that nurses boss about her bedside manner.

I'm going to avoid seeing her again if at all possible. I have enough stress right now. GRR. *hugs*

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h306/jermy342/j1/comments/encouragement/0005.jpg

That is adorable! Thank you!

*huge, huge hugs*

*hugs back*

 

[eastern sun]

I originally sent this as a PM, but NH asked me to post it in the thread, so, y'know, here it goes:

People never really feel as strong as they are. They look at other people coping with issues in a brave fashion and they marvel, because for their own part they're scared and hurting and worried sick.

But we all feel like that, in the middle of it all. Especially when the situation is something so utterly beyond your control.

But we are a marvelous species. We are strong. We survive when we have no business making it. We get through things that should shatter us utterly.

We're flexible. We adapt. We can deal with the challenges that face us.

You can do it. I know you can.

Sometimes, you fall into holes so deep and dark that the only option left to you is to just put one foot in front of the other. Given what you've mentioned of your past that I've seen, you may well know exactly what I'm talking about.

The thing is, you just keep moving forward. You keep fighting. It's worth it. People like you are worth it, because we never have enough like you. We can't afford to lose a single one.

You have the reasons to live all around you. Your children, your master, and yourself.

I don't know you well at all, just passing posts on a forum and all. But I've seen enough to know that we damn well are better off having you here.

So, y'know, cheers. Here's to the good fight.

Beautifully said.

We'll be thinking of you, nh. You are loved.

 

[nh23]

Beautifully said.

We'll be thinking of you, nh. You are loved.

Thank you!

 

[minx1]

I know it probably doesn't help much to recount stories, but just on the off chance it does.....my mum and aunty both had cervical cancer years ago now and are completely fine now.

I don't know you very well, but from what I do know I can echo what has been said already. You are strong and resilient young woman.

Stay strong

 

[nh23]

I know it probably doesn't help much to recount stories, but just on the off chance it does.....my mum and aunty both had cervical cancer years ago now and are completely fine now.

I don't know you very well, but from what I do know I can echo what has been said already. You are strong and resilient young woman.

Stay strong

It does help to hear that! Thank you so much pretty lady!

 

[DiscusDave]

You are what people in my home town would call a spark plug! You give everyone a little jolt of life! You are a catalyst for so many good things.

In the short time that I've been on here, your smiling face (your AV pic) is one that always helps brighten my day. Whenever I see that grin I always know some funny, witty, intelligent, or sincere (or a mix of al of those) statement will follow, and I'm always happy to read. It's a pleasure to share a board with you. You have a way of making so many people's days better. Hope I can do the same for you at some point.

My best well wishes and thoughts are with you.

Big hugs!


http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x296/eeek20/Images/hugs_kisses/images/hug00066.jpg


And would it be me if I didn't send some delectable chocolaty treat your way to help make you feel better? Besides, chocolate has been said to be "better than sex," and if it's the case where you can't have sex for a while.... have the next best thing! Like this....


http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y152/grace_choo03/IMG_7664.jpg


My thoughts and prayers go out to you!

 

[nh23]

Oh! Thank you Dave! You are such a sweetie. That made me feel so good! I'm going to be needing all the chocolate I can get!

 

[Puman]

Thoughts and prayers from Oz for you too.

Just remember that it's YOUR body and you have every fucking right to be as pushy and forward about how its treated. Don't let any doctor intimidate you, they are just human beings too.

Strength to ya, mate.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this right now, and to top it all off you are yelled at for having anal. What a bitch, seriously. Argh. Do fight for yourself and take care of yourself. I know how single moms (I know you have your Master - but you know what I mean) put everyone else first. Make sure to do what you need to.

 

[nh23]

Thoughts and prayers from Oz for you too.

Just remember that it's YOUR body and you have every fucking right to be as pushy and forward about how its treated. Don't let any doctor intimidate you, they are just human beings too.

Strength to ya, mate.

Thank you so much pretty girl!

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this right now, and to top it all off you are yelled at for having anal. What a bitch, seriously. Argh. Do fight for yourself and take care of yourself. I know how single moms (I know you have your Master - but you know what I mean) put everyone else first. Make sure to do what you need to.

I'm trying. I took a big step today. I made dinner but Master took it out of the oven and plated it.

 

[nh23]

Getting ready for work. I'm having really sharp pains in my cervix. Almost like a tearing feeling. I've looked online and can't find anything that explains it. So I called the nurse line at the hospital. They told me it wasn't normal, but there was nothing I could do but call the clinic in a few hours.

So, I guess I'll just call from work if it gets any worse. My b-day is going to suck!

And I'm a little worried about the fact that I"m on prednisone and now have wounds. I told them what I was taking, but it didn't even cross my mind until now.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS and HUGS*

That all is very scary and it sucks. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sending you lots of good energy.

 

[rida]

hugs and good vibes your way

and mostly what Net said: don't let the medical expenses keep you from getting the best. I'm not familiar with the US medical system but I'm sure that they cannot refuse you treatment if you show up at the ER in pain

please take care of yourself, no need to be strong about it



as for being made to feel ashamed because of your sex life ... GRRR

 

[ecstaticsub]

So sorry you are going through this.

Be aggressive and take care of yourself. Though I know it is difficult to put ourselves first, in this case you getting well and getting the best care is the best thing you can do for your children and your Master.

Hugs and get healthy thoughts going your way.

(after she was done yelling at you about anal did she schedule any tests to see if you do have any cancer cells in your rectum? )

 

[Homburg]

I am at a loss for words. Honestly.

You can make it through this. You have a lot of people pulling for you, and folks that love you and will support you.

Just don't give up. You're a bloody strong person. You can do this.

--

This just feels weird.

I just found the woman who is every thing I have ever wished for, And now I feel like I'm standing at the edge of the first drop of a roller coaster. That calm moment before everything picks up speed.

It's just so calm now.

You would think most people would curl up in a ball and let loose.
Instead we're just waiting to see what's coming up, and how much to brace ourselves.

Real truth is on the inside I'm torn up about it all. Deeply afraid for pet.
Already bracing as I get up my savings and prepare to fight tooth and nail against this.

She is my sunshine you know.

That calm is a feeling I know all too well. I get that way too, plus I usually beat myself up for not being more emotional. Like it is somehow more correct to be wailing and gnashing my teeth. And this situation is my greatest fear.

You can't control it, and you can't physically do anything about it. It's enough to make you feel helpless to fix your girl, and I don't know of single thing in the world that makes me feel worse. But you can do something. You can be the rock she needs, and she will need it.

When my eldest son was born, he was a bit premature, and wasn't breathing. He was this tiny little thing hooked up to all these machines, and we hadn't even gotten the chance to hold him. I was terrified, and viv was shattered. I've never felt more frustrated and utterly helpless in my life. At one point I told her that I was going to get a drink or something, and wound up in a stairwell by myself crying.

A nurse happened to see me, and she sent a priest in (Catholic hospital). I'm not a religious man, and don't usually care for intrusions, but, at that moment, the priest was a fellow human being trying to help. And knowing that the nurse had seen what was going on and did something about it even when I wasn't a patient helped too. I was able to get it together and go back to being strong and supportive while we waited for the boy to start breathing.

The point to this is that sometimes it is okay to crack open a little. More importantly, sometimes it is okay to accept the support and comfort of others. No one can be strong and in control 100% of the time.

My PM box is open if you want to talk. Hell, send me a PM and I'll get on the phone with you. Same goes for you, nh.

--

Don't worry about me please!

Not bloody possible. He's going to worry. He has to. It's his job. You have to let him take care of you when you can't take care of yourself.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Anyway I asked the Dr. if I was at higher risk for anal cancer too. As HPV is linked to 90% of cervical and anal cancers. She says well only if you're having anal sex. Umm..Ok yeah and I have been for years. She yells a me! Tells me that anal cancer kills and that I shouldn't be having anal sex, no one should.

That was enough to piss me off. If anal sex makes me some kind of freak to her, I'd hate to know if she really knew anything about me. So for my sanity I'm waiting until I can see the lady I like.

Can you just imagine if this woman had reacted in this way to a gay male patient when discussing anal sex? How does being a woman make owning an asshole any damn different? Do not let anyone criticise your lifestyle and especially do not let ignorant people suggest that your fantastic sex life is to blame for your current health problems.

Netz made some very good points. You need to keep pestering and ensuring that things are moving along as fast as possible and no corners are being cut. MasDom should be there in your corner too, acting as an advocate on the days when you just can't face being persistent and obnoxious.

Also, if it looks like major treatment is going to be necessary, start hitting up charities and support organisations. You'll be surprised what you can get if you just ask. For example, (in the UK) many cancer charities help with transport for chemo patients as they're seldom well enough to drive home after treatment. Some will also fund childcare for days when you need to attend hospital. There's a whole load of support out there if you go looking for it. When you know what you need, what would make this whole thing easier on you, do some door knocking and see if anyone will oblige.

Sending positive thoughts and vibes across the pond to you.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

(after she was done yelling at you about anal did she schedule any tests to see if you do have any cancer cells in your rectum? )

Seconded. I'm sure the word 'test' is now an expletive as far as you're concerned but I think it would be a very good idea.

 

[WriterDom]

I don't fault the doctor for having that opinion as long as it is a medical decision and not a moral one. The world probably would be better off with no butt fucking. Don't you think?

 

[Millificent]

Coming out of hiding long enough to send good wishes and huge hugs your way!

 

[WriterDom]

Just read that gay men are ten times more likely to get anal cancer than straight men. But as far as cancers go it's pretty rare. The HPV vaccination is currently being tested on gay men.

 

[Homburg]

I don't fault the doctor for having that opinion as long as it is a medical decision and not a moral one. The world probably would be better off with no butt fucking. Don't you think?

Shut. Your. Whore. Mouth.