Offend-O-Metering: U.K. vs. States

[TheEarl]

Re: Damned Englishers

I make an honest attempt to offend a small but vocal minority by posting an insulting picture of a universally beloved figure. What do I get? A discussion of British jurisprudence.

I try so hard........... sigh............

MG

Ps. $%^$&^%*&!!

It's the stiff upper lip thing MG. If it helps, I can look at it again and get offended especially for you?

The extraordinarily helpful Earl

 

[cahab]

Re: Re: Damned Englishers

Where's Princess Di when we really need her?

In a box somewhere, no? Can I phone a friend?

 

[Guest]

Forgotten British Occupations

My "Forgotten English" calendar quotes this today:

On this date in 1801, Britains first census was begun. Eighty years later, a follow-up survey was conducted in which residents were asked to furnish their "rank, profession or occupation." Verbatim responses, as preserved by the London Genealogical Society, included:

Artificial scone maker
Decayed publisher
Emasculator
Rust attendant at lavatory
Proprietor of midgets
Fatuous pauper
Fifty-two years an imbecile
Examiner of underclotihing
Turnip shepherd
Gymnast to house painter
-----------------
(copyright: Jeffrey Kacirk)

 

[redrider4u]

I go away for a few days......

I make an honest attempt to offend a small but vocal minority by posting an insulting picture of a universally beloved figure. What do I get? A discussion of British jurisprudence.

I try so hard........... sigh............

MG

Ps. $%^$&^%*&!!

And I miss another provacative posting by MG. Frankly, MG, I think you have missed an opportunity. Think of a photo of Queen Mum and Barbara Bush together ...."fragrante delicto"

Certainly the two of them, multiplied by the boobie factor would be enormous. (2x+2x)/4= amazing synergy.

Yep, I can see Bush and Blair together applauding this bondage across the pond.

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Forgotten British Occupations

Verbatim responses, as preserved by the London Genealogical Society

Dear Purdita,
Thanks for that list. It showed the English had a weird sense of humor even back then. Examiner of underclothing?
MG

 

[Guest]

MG: my favorite was the 'fatuous pauper'; wonder what Dr. Cra, uh, M., would make of it.

Perdita

 

[OneGoddess]

Offending Canucks...from Page 2 or was it 3??

You hit the nail on the head...calling us Canucks Americans will guarantee you a night in the woods with the biggest nastiest mossies, black flies, no bug juice and no lighter to have a fire with in August in Northern Ontario where they build bird houses for the bugs!!

Since this is only my second post, hope you folks don't mind that I jumped in and commented on something waaaaay back.

Take care and stay safe!!

One

 

[Robert Earl]

God I wish that I could drag myself away from this site and out into the fresh air.

Still, at least being an Englishman I can sit here all day without getting a pain in the fanny.

 

[sirhugs]

Re: Offending Canucks...from Page 2 or was it 3??

You hit the nail on the head...calling us Canucks Americans will guarantee you a night in the woods with the biggest nastiest mossies, black flies, no bug juice and no lighter to have a fire with in August in Northern Ontario where they build bird houses for the bugs!!

Since this is only my second post, hope you folks don't mind that I jumped in and commented on something waaaaay back.

Take care and stay safe!!

One

welcome to Lit

actually, August is our nicest month...you coulda wished February on them.

 

[Guest]

Welcome R.Earl and 1Goddess

at least being an Englishman I can sit here all day without getting a pain in the fanny.

RE: will have to keep you and "The" Earl straight now.

I do not get the above statement.
------------------------------------------
1: I love Canadians and your land, though only been to Windsor and Vancouver (+V. Island).
------------------------------------------

regards, Perdita

 

[TheEarl]

Evening Robert Earl and One Goddess. Welcome to Lit. Hope you enjoy and don't get too scared. We don't bite. Unless you ask us to, of course .

The Earl

 

[OneGoddess]

Re: Re: Offending Canucks...from Page 2 or was it 3??

welcome to Lit

actually, August is our nicest month...you coulda wished February on them.

Yes but we have no bugs in Feb and besides that they would probably enjoy the snow and hot choccie! Besides that you know that SAR would find them as "someone" *rolling eyes* would report them as missing. You know how the gov't gets when we lose our tourists!!

(Sorry folks...it's typical canuck humour to poke at one another.)

Thank you for the welcome though!! *grin*

One

 

[OneGoddess]

Evening Robert Earl and One Goddess. Welcome to Lit. Hope you enjoy and don't get too scared. We don't bite. Unless you ask us to, of course .

The Earl

Thanks the Earl. I always enjoy good conversation with smart people.

I don't get scared...unless the doc is after me with a scalpel again...and if he is...I tend to grab ahold of his dangly bits and have a nice conversation that goes like this..."We aren't going to hurt each other now are we??" I figure I should do fine in here

I don't think I will be asking for any bites...nibbles maybe but I wouldn't want anyone to hold their breath waiting for me to ask. *chuckle*

One

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I've found that the best way to offend Americans is to say ANYTHING critical about their country. It doesn't really matter what. You can criticize their government, their "I-pledge-allegiance" stuff, or even something as harmless as the way their coffee tastes like; and WHAM! you get one furious Yankee Doodle declaring WW3 on you.

Touchy, these yanks...

 

[OneGoddess]

Re: Welcome R.Earl and 1Goddess

RE: will have to keep you and "The" Earl straight now.

I do not get the above statement.
------------------------------------------
1: I love Canadians and your land, though only been to Windsor and Vancouver (+V. Island).
------------------------------------------

regards, Perdita

Hello Perdita

Windsor is a city in the province of Ontario.

Vancouver is a city in the province of British Columbia and "V Island" is Vancouver Island which is an island that belongs to British Columbia.

*whew* Hope that makes sense!!

One

 

[OneGoddess]

Touchy Yanks

I've found that the best way to offend Americans is to say ANYTHING critical about their country. It doesn't really matter what. You can criticize their government, their "I-pledge-allegiance" stuff, or even something as harmless as the way their coffee tastes like; and WHAM! you get one furious Yankee Doodle declaring WW3 on you.

Touchy, these yanks...

Yeah some of them are but if you "stroke" them just right...they are as happy as can be *wicked grins* Hey I even married one. LOL

One

 

[Guest]

One:

Thanks, I did know all that but I appreciate the hospitable gesture. I was born & raised in Detroit, so loved the special July 4 US/Canadian displays on the river.

A friend was raised on V. Island and took me all about, would love to go back sometime. Also would love to see Toronto and Montreal. If not obvious I'm a city gal.

BTW, I like your style, you'll fit in quite nicely (and probably naughtily) here.

Perdita

p.s. Glenn Gould is my favorite Canadian (which tells you I never took to hockey though each winter we froze our lawn and my brothers pucked about on it).

 

[OneGoddess]

Re: One:

Thanks, I did know all that but I appreciate the hospitable gesture. I was born & raised in Detroit, so loved the special July 4 US/Canadian displays on the river.

A friend was raised on V. Island and took me all about, would love to go back sometime. Also would love to see Toronto and Montreal. If not obvious I'm a city gal.

BTW, I like your style, you'll fit in quite nicely (and probably naughtily) here.

Perdita

p.s. Glenn Gould is my favorite Canadian (which tells you I never took to hockey though each winter we froze our lawn and my brothers pucked about on it).

Derrrr...guess I had better go read the "about people" sections!!

Is there an "Introduce Yourself" forum on this board??

*shudder* I hate cities...I'm living in Dallas right now and frankly, if I left it and never came back...I'd be far happier and healthier too!! Visiting is ok...living sucks.

Oh I think I will fit in just fine here. Thanks for the welcome. I may take some time to reply as I am physcially challenged and tire quickly at times but my wit always stays sharp and I'm usually never lacking for a quick comeback!! *grin*

One

 

[Guest]

Ms. Canada lost in TX, Yikes!

Is there an "Introduce Yourself" forum on this board??
*shudder* I hate cities...I'm living in Dallas right now...
Oh I think I will fit in just fine here. Thanks for the welcome. I may take some time to reply as I am physcially challenged and tire quickly at times but my wit always stays sharp...

One: I've seen intro threads on other boards, but this one's where you'll learn more and have wittier fun (imho).

Well, I was talking about cities on the coasts, not much in between appeals to me 'cept for Chicago.

Take your time posting responses, we're patient (haha), and a sharp wit is more welcome than a quick quack. I'm going now...
Perdita

 

[OneGoddess]

Re: Ms. Canada lost in TX, Yikes!

One: I've seen intro threads on other boards, but this one's where you'll learn more and have wittier fun (imho).

Well, I was talking about cities on the coasts, not much in between appeals to me 'cept for Chicago.

Take your time posting responses, we're patient (haha), and a sharp wit is more welcome than a quick quack. I'm going now...
Perdita

LMAO Perdita...I can see you are one fine lady and one I shall enjoy trading words and wit with...*grin*

Somehow in my twisted mind I decided that it was high time that I joined in on the fun. Blame Patrick Flanagan!! I adore his stories...there's just something about them!!! (is this where I start drooling now??)

Well, my absolutely adoringly gorgeously sexy wonderful husband is taking me for a visit to the Gulf this July...I want to swim in all the major oceans of the world before I exit!! He promises to not let go of me this time...last time he did that I floated away and damn near drowned! Not his or my fault really...I have no feeling in my legs and neither of us realized that my legs would just take off on their own. *still chuckling*

Really, I'm not lost...just hopelessly in lust...errrrrmmmm make that love/lust...lol Besides that...the heat is good for me!!

I'm going as well for today...well maybe only for this afternoon...have to eat at some point. *chuckle* Catch ya later girl *smiles*

One (still laughing)

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Welcome R.Earl and 1Goddess

Vancouver is a city in the province of British Columbia and "V Island" is Vancouver Island which is an island that belongs to British Columbia.

Dear OG,
I loved visiting Victoria Island. I was wandering through the beautiful old Empress Hotel one afternoon. Suddenly people started setting up tables and chairs, a string quartet with piano fired up over in the corner, and I found myself in the middle of "tea." Very cool.
MG

 

[OneGoddess]

Re: Re: Re: Welcome R.Earl and 1Goddess

Dear OG,
I loved visiting Victoria Island. I was wandering through the beautiful old Empress Hotel one afternoon. Suddenly people started setting up tables and chairs, a string quartet with piano fired up over in the corner, and I found myself in the middle of "tea." Very cool.
MG

I have to ask...did you visit any of the wilder parts of the island??? *chuckle*

One

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Welcome R.Earl and 1Goddess

I have to ask...did you visit any of the wilder parts of the island??? *chuckle*

Dear One,
Hardly. I was about twelve and with my parents.
mG
Ps. Oh, there was fish and chips with vinegar. That was exciting.
Pps. Oh, also flowers. Bouchart Gardens?

 

[OneGoddess]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Welcome R.Earl and 1Goddess

Dear One,
Hardly. I was about twelve and with my parents.
mG
Ps. Oh, there was fish and chips with vinegar. That was exciting.
Pps. Oh, also flowers. Bouchart Gardens?

MG

Well do take an opportunity to go back if you can and enjoy. It is a beautiful place and the "wilder" side is realllly enjoyable. *grin*

Time to head off to bed...have a great evening and catch you next time. *smiles*

One

 

[Guest]

July 1

Happy Canada Day

to the northern most Lit-American Maple Leaf Lovers.

your neighbor, Perdita