Ok, very serious question.......

[MsMarg]

If you really want to reconnect then start. Hold her hand any time your talking. If you aren't looking at her when she is trying. One of two things will happen: She'll give up. Or she will find someone to look. If this is new, someone may already be looking.

A short fat man took me away from my tall well built husband. I weighed 286 lbs at the time. He just kept telling me how smart, beautiful and talented I was. I felt beautiful, with out any pushing, I changed.

I currently carry 155 on a five foot eight frame and 23% body fat. At 52 I dont look my age. In heels and a mini I turn every straight man's head.

If you need help reconnecting with your wife work with your Domme on real punishmen that will change your behavior. Figure out the behaviors you need to emulate. Make love to your wife twice a week or what? What discipline would change your behavior.

Just my humble opinion. Oh and just so you know eventually both men lost me.

 

[blulilacgrl]

If you're going to equate seeing a pro where there are specific penisgoeswhere rules with having an affair to get one's dick wet, folks, I am warming up to this dildo's side of the argument more and more once again.

This is someone TRYING not to cheat on his wife who has some frustrated D/s desires. Sure he's schmucky about it, but I think that gets a few points.

Or maybe just wants to spooge near a chick he considers hot. Only he knows.

no offense but I don't care who he is seeing (professional Domme or the next door neighbor) if it is without his partner's knowledge, it's cheating.

The fact that he is doing this instead of being intimate with his wife is just even more douche-y.

I mean let's face it, this isn't the case of a man who adores his wife, but after years of trying realizes that his D/s desires can't be met with her so he is going to a professional. This is a man who by his own words hasn't discussed this sexual desire because he doesn't want to share this with his fat, lazy wife.

Trust me. I can understand needing to find someone to help pacify the D/s craving and need. What I can't countenance is putting down your spouse and using that as an excuse to go find that person.

 

[Kellydude666]

Short and sweet.

How would you feel if your wife was doing that? "Oh, honey, they only see me naked and tease and punsih me and watch me play with myself, that's okay right?"

Don;t bother answering, I know your answer, or at least the real one and not the lie you will post.

You're cheating fucking dog.

If you want be dominated you should grow a pair and ask your wife(the one you supposedly care about) to do it with you.

That is called a relationship.

You're an immature grabby little boy looking to have his cake and eat it to. You're cheating on an unsuspecting woman who is stupid enough to love you. And if it was not cheating then why won't you tell her?

If you care about her cut her loose and go have your fun.

Oh, but then you wouldn't have anyone to take care of you, would you?

You're a piece of shit.

The only piece of shit here is the dumb BITCH who gave birth to you dipshit. Fuck off and die! Haha what an ass.

 

[KoPilot]

The only piece of shit here is the dumb BITCH who gave birth to you dipshit. Fuck off and die! Haha what an ass.

You're just trying to one up me now.

 

[incubus'_sub]

a lot of assumptions there blulilac and not at all how i read the original post.

i read a guy who is trying NOT to cheat by using a pro domme to explore his submissive desires.

i read a guy who knows his wife better than we do and knows how straight she is. why do you keep hammering him for not talking to his wife about it? that could easily make his situation much worse. it's got nothing to do with not wanting to share but could have a lot to do with her apparent lack of interest and effort so far in the marriage.

life is short and there comes a time where you have to say i'm not happy and i have to do something about it. he's been honest about being turned off by his fat wife. i'll bet that there are many, many partners of people who've let themselves go who are not brave enough to admit that fact, or do anything about it.

 

[blulilacgrl]

a lot of assumptions there blulilac and not at all how i read the original post.

i read a guy who is trying NOT to cheat by using a pro domme to explore his submissive desires.

i read a guy who knows his wife better than we do and knows how straight she is. why do you keep hammering him for not talking to his wife about it? that could easily make his situation much worse. it's got nothing to do with not wanting to share but could have a lot to do with her apparent lack of interest and effort so far in the marriage.

life is short and there comes a time where you have to say i'm not happy and i have to do something about it. he's been honest about being turned off by his fat wife. i'll bet that there are many, many partners of people who've let themselves go who are not brave enough to admit that fact, or do anything about it.

Okay please explain to me how going to someone else for sexual release without the informed consent of your spouse/significant other is not cheating?

I keep hammering him about it because she is his wife and deserves to be informed about what he is doing when having sexual relations with other people. She should be given the option of finding her own sexual gratification since as he stated she wants intimacy and he is denying her. At the very least she should be given the option of staying in the marriage or leaving it because of his actions.

He married her and he has a responsibility to treat her with some dignity and respect.

"her apparent lack of interest and effort so far in the marriage." Wow. And I am making assumptions? At least all of my inferences about the situation come from his own words. You assume because she is fat she has no concern about her marriage. That is a huge assumption.

 

[njlauren]

You really are a character. You see what you want to see don't ya? I wrote a small portion of one of the things that bother me about my relationship and now I'm a self centered jackass? You ma'am are the jackass for assuming and casting aspersions and you don't know the whole story, me or my wife. You took one thing and you continue to run with it because this is a subject that has affected you because you have an issue with your weight. Let it go, there are people who do like physical attraction along with the inner love they have for their significant other even though there may be problems. You keep ignoring what is being explained and spelled out for ya, that makes you an ignorant boob. Seriously.......good luck, you need it.

You wrote a small portion of your relationship, but what you wrote came off as conceited and self centered, and people called you on it. You were looking for people to sit back and say "poor baby, your wife put on weight and you are forced to go to a pro domme to achieve your desires", and you didn't get it, because a lot of people on here don't put up well with conceited people needing validation for what they do. You lost me when you wrote "I kept myself in shape, I built my own business that does quite well, we have anything we could want", which basically is saying "I am so fantastic, I built the business, I did well, so therefore she owes me staying fabulous, for all she has given me". I can't comment on the rest of your relationship, but you put this out in front of people and most of us, not just myself, felt your post came off as arrogant and conceited. The shallowness I saw wasn't in objecting to your wife being overweight or not feeling attracted, it was that instead of making her understand what you felt (which is important in relationships), you came off as a whining brat saying 'whoa is me, my wife weighs too much'...Grow up a little and maybe, just maybe, ask yourself if your wife putting on weight like that might just be her life isn't the paradise you think it is....or that there may be real reasons she is like that. You say this happened right after you got married and had a kid, so it has been 7 years of this, and you couldn't communicate with her? If her being a good weight is important to her, then tell her that, and find ways to make it work, sitting back and pissing and moaning doesn't solve it, nor does quite frankly getting your sexual relief playing with a pro domme (unless you don't finish with 'a release', that is what you are doing, you are playing with an attractive pro domme and using that to relieve your sexual needs, basically running away from your marriage, and that won't solve your basic problem with your wife, it just enables it to keep going on the way it has.

I am not talking about you wanting your wife to be more in shape for you, we all do have needs of our partners, what I am talking about is that instead of communicating with her about it and making her understand, you would rather sit back and judge her, be nasty about it, claim in effect 'she owes you' (otherwise, why bring up your business success? Whether you were a blue collar worker or someone who is financially a lot better off, it is absolutely irrelevant, unless you are saying "I am so successful, I give her everything, with the idea that she owes you to lose weight because you are so great to her......).

My advice? Instead of thinking in the I, as you are with "I am so disappointed my wife gained weight, I can't stand sex with her" to maybe thinking 'what can we do to make this better, as a couple?".

 

[njlauren]

nj lauren, now you're blaming the GOVERNMENT???? good lord woman, is there no end to your list of excuses?

for the record, once and for all, i DID NOT say that women kept themselves trim and attractive for their men only but FOR THEMSELVES. it's a personal pride thing and you either have it or you don't.

no, i don't exercise for 2 hours a day lol. nor do i starve myself. but i am careful not to eat too much as that is the MAIN CAUSE of the fat society. not illness, not pain, not having kids, not working in an office and certainly not the government lmao. the 2nd biggest cause is this ridiculous pretense that fat is ok and cannot be spoken about.

i congratulate all of those who KNOW that their partners love them despite their flab. i'm sure that they do. i'm also sure that underneath it all you are aware that the real truth is that your partners would probably prefer that you stopped making excuses and made an effort and had a tiny bit of pride in your appearance. that is, if they can be bothered themselves. so, the fat culture continues...

No, I am blaming the Puritanical notion that being overweight is due to sloth and laziness, which is exactly what I am saying, and your statement that overeating is the main cause of the obesity epidemic is partially true, but the rest of your post is not. There all all kinds of issues with the obesity epidemic, some of it is that high fat high sugar content processed foods are often way cheaper than healthier alternatives, some of it is that sugar is being used in filler in a lot more foods than 40 years ago, and a big part is you can claim what you want, but people are so burdened down by work (today the dominant norm is both parents working, it wasn't 40 years ago), and kids are being buried alive by this incredible idea that if their lives are all packaged up with hours of homework, and acceptable activities to get them into the right college, they are sendentary as well. A lot of people are eating on the go, they don't have time for formal meals, and eating at takeout places and fast food is at an all time high......

When you say you don't need to starve yourself or exercise much, that is you, there are size 0 fashion models who eat junk food and such and don't gain an ounce, all I am saying is it isn't the same for everyone..it is a lot easier for men to maintain their weight then women, testosterone makes weight loss easier, and a lot of other factors enter into it.

Calling it sloth or laziness isn't going to solve the problem, and the world of 40 years ago was the world of 40 years ago. Back then a lot of families had stay at home mom's and dads who worked 40 hour weeks, and kids actually had time to play, and saying 'back then fat wasn't accepted, so people were thin" is a crock of bullshit, I grew up then, and that wasn't the cause, diets were different back then, people had a lot more leisure time and time to play, and it shows. And yeah, the government does play a role, its own studies show that, that thanks to idiotic agricultural subsidies designed to please the farm belt and agribusinesses, processed and fast foods are a lot cheaper then healthier alternatives, those supersized burgers rely on subsidized, cheap meat, those fries on subsidized potatoes, the cheap bun on high fructose corn syrup and subsidized wheat and other fillers to be cheap, and so forth.......

There is no doubt people's behaviors enter into it, and culture does as well, when you walk around NYC where I work you can generally tell locals from the tourists visiting from the midwest and such, you see a lot more really heavy people in the tourists then you do from locals (there are obviously overweight people all over, just talking about what I observe), and that is cultural, there is no doubt. I don't think 'fat acceptance' is why people have gotten heavier, though, I don't think it is any more accepted now then it was back then per se (back then, it was considered rude and impolite to talk to someone about being overweight, big deal was made about not making fun of people's size), I think it is more like a lot more people now are overweight , happened, and no one wants to feel like they are a freak....

 

[graceanne]

The only piece of shit here is the dumb BITCH who gave birth to you dipshit. Fuck off and die! Haha what an ass.

And yet another reason I call troll ... when addressing logic your only response is to call names and not even logically pointed at the personthe troll is adressing but at their mothrt. "Yo momma so fat...."

Seriously, how old are you, 15?

Kinda funny, you have no idea who I am but the first thing you actually did as maybe read the thread and you got so upset and flustered the first thing you labeled me was a "troll" and a few other things so don't lie about it now. Please, put me on ignore because you obviously can't handle my posts. I think it's better for all parties.
I have to say though, this is supposed to be a very liberal forum in nature but it's also the most hypocritical forum I ever visited. A bunch of posters who lay around passing judgement.

Yeah, cause liberals are okay with liars and cheats? My heart bleeds shiny tears for you. Wah wah. If you don't like it here why do you keep coming back? I know why .... your a troll and your getting fed by all the people here.

 

[njlauren]

Short and sweet.

How would you feel if your wife was doing that? "Oh, honey, they only see me naked and tease and punsih me and watch me play with myself, that's okay right?"

Don;t bother answering, I know your answer, or at least the real one and not the lie you will post.

You're cheating fucking dog.

If you want be dominated you should grow a pair and ask your wife(the one you supposedly care about) to do it with you.

That is called a relationship.

You're an immature grabby little boy looking to have his cake and eat it to. You're cheating on an unsuspecting woman who is stupid enough to love you. And if it was not cheating then why won't you tell her?

If you care about her cut her loose and go have your fun.

Oh, but then you wouldn't have anyone to take care of you, would you?

You're a piece of shit.

C'mon, tell us what you really feel *lol*

 

[njlauren]

If you're going to equate seeing a pro where there are specific penisgoeswhere rules with having an affair to get one's dick wet, folks, I am warming up to this dildo's side of the argument more and more once again.

This is someone TRYING not to cheat on his wife who has some frustrated D/s desires. Sure he's schmucky about it, but I think that gets a few points.

Or maybe just wants to spooge near a chick he considers hot. Only he knows.

The problem, Netzach, is that this doesn't sound to me like a sub out to work with a pro domme because his wife won't/can't do it (he actually doesn't know), it sounds more like whether he is sub or not, he is using the sessions as a substitute for sex with his wife, and that is what bothers me. As I noted in my original response, I started out in all this playing professionally before it became lifestyle, so I understand that, but when I did it it was to get the need met that I couldn't get at home (and yes, I had tried), but we still had a vanilla sex life, too. I could argue that the 'release' at the end was not cheating or is cheating, it gets into all esoteric kinds of things. In the OP's case, though, it sounds like he isn't just getting his sub needs met, he is using it as an alternate to having sex with his wife, it is his way of releasing, etc, which to me is cheating........

If he hasn't had sex with his wife in 7 years,which the post seems to imply, then he is basically giving up on her and getting all his sexual needs elsewhere, rather than working on the problem with his wife. I personally think working with a pro domme, whether cheating or not, is a kind of compromise when it comes to bd/sm play that morally may be gray, but using pro sessions to get off while not having sex with your primary partner (unless they are okay with it), is a lot darker IMO.

 

[blulilacgrl]

No, I am blaming the Puritanical notion that being overweight is due to sloth and laziness, which is exactly what I am saying, and your statement that overeating is the main cause of the obesity epidemic is partially true, but the rest of your post is not. There all all kinds of issues with the obesity epidemic, some of it is that high fat high sugar content processed foods are often way cheaper than healthier alternatives, some of it is that sugar is being used in filler in a lot more foods than 40 years ago, and a big part is you can claim what you want, but people are so burdened down by work (today the dominant norm is both parents working, it wasn't 40 years ago), and kids are being buried alive by this incredible idea that if their lives are all packaged up with hours of homework, and acceptable activities to get them into the right college, they are sendentary as well. A lot of people are eating on the go, they don't have time for formal meals, and eating at takeout places and fast food is at an all time high......

When you say you don't need to starve yourself or exercise much, that is you, there are size 0 fashion models who eat junk food and such and don't gain an ounce, all I am saying is it isn't the same for everyone..it is a lot easier for men to maintain their weight then women, testosterone makes weight loss easier, and a lot of other factors enter into it.

Calling it sloth or laziness isn't going to solve the problem, and the world of 40 years ago was the world of 40 years ago. Back then a lot of families had stay at home mom's and dads who worked 40 hour weeks, and kids actually had time to play, and saying 'back then fat wasn't accepted, so people were thin" is a crock of bullshit, I grew up then, and that wasn't the cause, diets were different back then, people had a lot more leisure time and time to play, and it shows. And yeah, the government does play a role, its own studies show that, that thanks to idiotic agricultural subsidies designed to please the farm belt and agribusinesses, processed and fast foods are a lot cheaper then healthier alternatives, those supersized burgers rely on subsidized, cheap meat, those fries on subsidized potatoes, the cheap bun on high fructose corn syrup and subsidized wheat and other fillers to be cheap, and so forth.......

There is no doubt people's behaviors enter into it, and culture does as well, when you walk around NYC where I work you can generally tell locals from the tourists visiting from the midwest and such, you see a lot more really heavy people in the tourists then you do from locals (there are obviously overweight people all over, just talking about what I observe), and that is cultural, there is no doubt. I don't think 'fat acceptance' is why people have gotten heavier, though, I don't think it is any more accepted now then it was back then per se (back then, it was considered rude and impolite to talk to someone about being overweight, big deal was made about not making fun of people's size), I think it is more like a lot more people now are overweight , happened, and no one wants to feel like they are a freak....

Njlauren I will say that I agree with everything you are saying but I will add this. I believe the government does play a role in this. They advocated and taught and preached a food structure with wheat and grains as the basis. They misrepresented a healthy food system. 40 years ago the base of a meal was meat and veggie (although potatoes were a normal choice which we know is a bad veggie).

This food structure (grains & wheat based) when combined with the more sedentary lifestyle and all the other issues you explained has created a monster that I believe most people are beginning to see a way around.

 

[njlauren]

a lot of assumptions there blulilac and not at all how i read the original post.

i read a guy who is trying NOT to cheat by using a pro domme to explore his submissive desires.

i read a guy who knows his wife better than we do and knows how straight she is. why do you keep hammering him for not talking to his wife about it? that could easily make his situation much worse. it's got nothing to do with not wanting to share but could have a lot to do with her apparent lack of interest and effort so far in the marriage.

life is short and there comes a time where you have to say i'm not happy and i have to do something about it. he's been honest about being turned off by his fat wife. i'll bet that there are many, many partners of people who've let themselves go who are not brave enough to admit that fact, or do anything about it.

What you are leaving out is going to the pro domme is not just about getting submissive desires met, it is going to an attractive pro domme (anyone wanna bet she is young and pretty?), who probably is wearing the full fetish regalia, doing whatever, and at the end doing his release.......which in the end, is satisfying a lot more then his need to be dominated, it is him using that in lieu of having sex with his wife, and that is cheating. More importantly, in one of his posts, he said he hasn't talked to his wife about domination, because he was afraid to give her that kind of control or power over him, which is another thing, he never says she is so straight she would never go for it, he never asked her.

I played with pros for years before it became lifestyle, and there were reasons why I did this, in my case, at the time, my wife would never go for it (I know, we tried at one point, and she freaked out, which turned out to be another fine legacy of her fine, outstanding Catholic parents (according to their local priest, he told me that), the father that raped her for x years, and the mother that sat there and let it happen, because of course husbands should be able to do what they want *gag*) and that I can understand; but using it to avoid having sex with his wife, to let it fester for 7 years, give me a break.

 

[njlauren]

Njlauren I will say that I agree with everything you are saying but I will add this. I believe the government does play a role in this. They advocated and taught and preached a food structure with wheat and grains as the basis. They misrepresented a healthy food system. 40 years ago the base of a meal was meat and veggie (although potatoes were a normal choice which we know is a bad veggie).

This food structure (grains & wheat based) when combined with the more sedentary lifestyle and all the other issues you explained has created a monster that I believe most people are beginning to see a way around.

It gets complicated, meat as a basis of our food is not healthy either, lean protein is important, but the whole anti carb thing is also very limiting (I always loved Mike Bloomberg getting in trouble when he talked about when Dr. Atkins died, and talking about the Atkin's diet, said did anyone see how fat Atkins was when he died, some great diet....cruel, but it also highlights that the heavy protein diets fail after a while).

The other thing is the type of grains, white bread (aka wonderbread, full of additives and High Fructose corn syrup) is not so good for you, nor is white rice, and the charts are supposed to be about whole grains, with fiber.

The real problem with the government is that on the one hand, they are promoting this great eating, high on lean protein, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and yet the subsidies they use to enrich agribusinesses and such go against what they preach. They should be subsidizing fresh fruit and vegetables, not the meat that goes into mickey dickeys burgers or the crap in their buns or the potatoes in their fries, they shouldn't be supporting cheap meat for the restaurants that proudly serve a 24oz steak for 16 bucks that is laden with fat, but they do, and a lot of that is lobbying by big businesses...and those same businesses, and the reps they own (especially from the farm belt) are not happy about the government pushing for healthy eating, because it would crimp their profits. The all time classic is high fructose corn syrup, which has made fortunes for the like of ADM and Cargill (and Iowa corn farmers, along with the ethanol scam), which is heavily subsidized by uncle sam and is so cheap, it is used in everything from soda to juice to fillers in a lot of foods we don't even know about, and this makes unhealthy food cheap, the packaged and processed crap. Add that to people being so busy they don't have time to eat a prepared meal, and it is a mess.

It is interesting, people point out portion sizes in restaurants, and that is true, it is ironic, you go to a high end restaurant you are paying 25 bucks for a single scalop (no kidding!), yet many restaurants pride themselves on their huge portions, supersizing, and so forth, and the reason restaurants can do this is because the ingredients they use are relatively dirt cheap, that huge burger, huge bun, at the prices restaurants pay at wholesale, is a lot cheaper then it was back in the day, I haven't been able to look back, but a friend of mine said that in many cases, that big mac supersized meal is probably double the size of what you got back 20 years ago or more, on any basis, real dollars or even just outright price, is often less than it was back then.

It is ironic that we talk about the skyrocketing cost of health care, when a lot of that cost is lifestyle diseases, yet when it comes to nutrition despite all the noise politics and lobbyists win out on the side of unhealthy food, which ends up crapping out our health system.

 

[LWulf]

It gets complicated, meat as a basis of our food is not healthy either, lean protein is important, but the whole anti carb thing...

Personally, I believe there is a modicum of truth in the concept of blood type diets. Some people naturally process meats whereas others are better processing starches.
It needs to be explored further though before it can be used properly.

 

[incubus'_sub]

ok, so you two have your stats and figures all in a row but, as you both admit, you're still both fat. excuses, excuses.....

njlauren, i don't believe he ever said he hadn't had sex with his wife for 7 years. that's when she had the baby but she's been blaming that ever since for the fat. he's over it and is fed up with trying to motivate her.

i get the impression that the pro domme thing is recent, born of frustration with both the state of his marriage and his sub desires now making themselves felt.

 

[blulilacgrl]

It gets complicated, meat as a basis of our food is not healthy either, lean protein is important, but the whole anti carb thing is also very limiting (I always loved Mike Bloomberg getting in trouble when he talked about when Dr. Atkins died, and talking about the Atkin's diet, said did anyone see how fat Atkins was when he died, some great diet....cruel, but it also highlights that the heavy protein diets fail after a while).

The other thing is the type of grains, white bread (aka wonderbread, full of additives and High Fructose corn syrup) is not so good for you, nor is white rice, and the charts are supposed to be about whole grains, with fiber.

The real problem with the government is that on the one hand, they are promoting this great eating, high on lean protein, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and yet the subsidies they use to enrich agribusinesses and such go against what they preach. They should be subsidizing fresh fruit and vegetables, not the meat that goes into mickey dickeys burgers or the crap in their buns or the potatoes in their fries, they shouldn't be supporting cheap meat for the restaurants that proudly serve a 24oz steak for 16 bucks that is laden with fat, but they do, and a lot of that is lobbying by big businesses...and those same businesses, and the reps they own (especially from the farm belt) are not happy about the government pushing for healthy eating, because it would crimp their profits. The all time classic is high fructose corn syrup, which has made fortunes for the like of ADM and Cargill (and Iowa corn farmers, along with the ethanol scam), which is heavily subsidized by uncle sam and is so cheap, it is used in everything from soda to juice to fillers in a lot of foods we don't even know about, and this makes unhealthy food cheap, the packaged and processed crap. Add that to people being so busy they don't have time to eat a prepared meal, and it is a mess.

It is interesting, people point out portion sizes in restaurants, and that is true, it is ironic, you go to a high end restaurant you are paying 25 bucks for a single scalop (no kidding!), yet many restaurants pride themselves on their huge portions, supersizing, and so forth, and the reason restaurants can do this is because the ingredients they use are relatively dirt cheap, that huge burger, huge bun, at the prices restaurants pay at wholesale, is a lot cheaper then it was back in the day, I haven't been able to look back, but a friend of mine said that in many cases, that big mac supersized meal is probably double the size of what you got back 20 years ago or more, on any basis, real dollars or even just outright price, is often less than it was back then.

It is ironic that we talk about the skyrocketing cost of health care, when a lot of that cost is lifestyle diseases, yet when it comes to nutrition despite all the noise politics and lobbyists win out on the side of unhealthy food, which ends up crapping out our health system.

Again completely agree. Although though 40 years ago the base of the meal being meat and veggies, because meat was still expensive you saw small portions of meat being offset by veggies. And those veggies were normally ones that were cheap and easy to grow (leafy greens, beans, cabbage, etc). But those veggies are really good for you as opposed to the noodles/rice/potatoes sides we often use these days as side dishes.

You are correct in that most breads and noodles and rice today are processed to the point where they are not healthy. As someone who has to eat lo carb it is difficult to find pre made things that I can eat. I often have to make my own bread, use brown rice (I am in the process of trying out quinoa as it is supposed to be an even better substitute for rice), completely eschew pasta in any form and have to be sparing about the 'sugar' fruits and veggies.

[laughs] Although I will hush now as it seems you and I agree for the most part.

 

[blulilacgrl]

ok, so you two have your stats and figures all in a row but, as you both admit, you're still both fat. excuses, excuses.....

njlauren, i don't believe he ever said he hadn't had sex with his wife for 7 years. that's when she had the baby but she's been blaming that ever since for the fat. he's over it and is fed up with trying to motivate her.

i get the impression that the pro domme thing is recent, born of frustration with both the state of his marriage and his sub desires now making themselves felt.

Oh my GOD!! I'm FAT?!?! Really?! Fuck me! How am I the last one to figure this out? Thank you sooooo much! I mean really 20 years of trying to figure out why I couldn't lose weight, watching every fucking thing I put in my mouth, exercising to the point of exhaustion and I never realized I was fat. Thank you, I feel so much better now.

"but she's been blaming that ever since for the fat. he's over it and is fed up with trying to motivate her."
I'm sorry what are you basing this on? I have seen nothing that says he has tried to motivate her. Nor have I seen anyplace where he says she blames having the baby as the reason she is fat. Again, funny how you like to make assumptions. But please as long as you are making assumptions, care to tell us all how he has been trying to motivate her. Cuz it is beginning to look like his '7 years of motivation' is pretty suck ass.

 

[graceanne]

Personally, I believe there is a modicum of truth in the concept of blood type diets. Some people naturally process meats whereas others are better processing starches.
It needs to be explored further though before it can be used properly.

I'm about to try it out to help me lose my last 40ish pounds. I know low carb diet's work for me, and I'm o+, so we're all gonna give it a shot. However, once I detox off of sugar AGAIN, I'm going to treat it as a drug that I'm addicted to (which it is), and never use it again.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm not sure anyone can claim something is so "simple" as gave birth = fat and refuses to do anything about it. When I was eyeballs deep in early motherhood, I was overweight and unhealthy. My (now ex) husband wasn't necessarily thrilled with the changes motherhood brought about, and pointed out that as a full time mom I had time to exercise/eat better/lose weight. I was obviously lazy/whatever... He never seemed to understand that it wasn't just about making time. There was no support system. No help with the kids.between work & hobbies he was gone 75+ hours a week, and I was raising three kids under 5. Every time I started to get a breath... There was another pregnancy, another baby, another nursling, another demand.

I don't have a particular opinion one way or another re: the pro-Domme thing. If the marriage has dissolved to this point, it's probably more complicated than an emotional online conversation can fully cover. But I will comment that my ex had a hand in my unhealthy weight. I did not do it alone. Once I was away from the environment he and I had created, I lost 100# (80# of which I've kept off for 7 years). So IMO, it's more complicated than "she's lazy / I stayed in shape; I'm no longer attracted to her / I deserve sexual gratification, even if I get it somewhere else".

 

[graceanne]

I'm not sure anyone can claim something is so "simple" as gave birth = fat and refuses to do anything about it. When I was eyeballs deep in early motherhood, I was overweight and unhealthy. My (now ex) husband wasn't necessarily thrilled with the changes motherhood brought about, and pointed out that as a full time mom I had time to exercise/eat better/lose weight. I was obviously lazy/whatever... He never seemed to understand that it wasn't just about making time. There was no support system. No help with the kids.between work & hobbies he was gone 75+ hours a week, and I was raising three kids under 5. Every time I started to get a breath... There was another pregnancy, another baby, another nursling, another demand.

I don't have a particular opinion one way or another re: the pro-Domme thing. If the marriage has dissolved to this point, it's probably more complicated than an emotional online conversation can fully cover. But I will comment that my ex had a hand in my unhealthy weight. I did not do it alone. Once I was away from the environment he and I had created, I lost 100# (80# of which I've kept off for 7 years). So IMO, it's more complicated than "she's lazy / I stayed in shape; I'm no longer attracted to her / I deserve sexual gratification, even if I get it somewhere else".

QFT

I still think the OP is a troll. However, if he wasn't, this would be truth.

 

[LWulf]

I'm about to try it out to help me lose my last 40ish pounds. I know low carb diet's work for me, and I'm o+, so we're all gonna give it a shot. However, once I detox off of sugar AGAIN, I'm going to treat it as a drug that I'm addicted to (which it is), and never use it again.

You see that's where it hits the fan. O is, arguably, the oldest blood type. Meats are supposed to be the healthiest things for O's to eat. which flies against what you said earlier...

it needs some more research for sure...
I'm O-

O's supposedly are prone to thyroid problems, so don't ignore the iodized salt. iodine is good for healthy thyroids...
also prone to bowel hyperpermeability and celiac...

 

[blulilacgrl]

You see that's where it hits the fan. O is, arguably, the oldest blood type. Meats are supposed to be the healthiest things for O's to eat. which flies against what you said earlier...

it needs some more research for sure...
I'm O-

O's supposedly are prone to thyroid problems, so don't ignore the iodized salt. iodine is good for healthy thyroids...
also prone to bowel hyperpermeability and celiac...

I think I am A+ but I am also PCOS, any tips for me?

Graceanne, I am with you. Due to my PCOS (and therefore insulin resistance) I have to lo carb in order to lose weight. Any chance you are looking for a lo carb buddy? [laughs] I have about 50ish lbs to lose and am looking forward to the summer so I can get back to swimming and maybe even some biking with the kids.

 

[LWulf]

I think I am A+ but I am also PCOS, any tips for me?

Graceanne, I am with you. Due to my PCOS (and therefore insulin resistance) I have to lo carb in order to lose weight. Any chance you are looking for a lo carb buddy? [laughs] I have about 50ish lbs to lose and am looking forward to the summer so I can get back to swimming and maybe even some biking with the kids.

I had to look it up because I only remember off the top of my head, my own blood type issues...

Lets see.. A type blood types are prone to cancer, diabetes and cardiovascular disease, but you are the greatest longevity
source:
Type As flourish on a vegetarian diet - if you are accustomed to eating meat, you will lose weight and have more energy once you eliminate the toxic foods from your diet. Many people find it difficult to move away from the typical meat and potato fare to soy proteins, grains and vegetables. But it is particularly important for sensitive Type As to eat their foods in as natural a state as possible: pure, fresh and organic. "I can't emphasize enough how this critical dietary adjustment can be to the sensitive immune system of Type A. With this diet you can supercharge your immune system and potentially short circuit the development of life threatening diseases."

To a degree this makes sense because a doctor once told me "you can't OD on drugs that your body needs" If your body needs ...lets say insulin, as long as your body needs it, you can take unhealthy amounts of it. BUT as soon as your body no longer needs it ...BOOM!

My point is, if your body doesn't need meats nor process them, then eating meats would be like taking drugs your body can't use, and therefore problems start...

 

[graceanne]

You see that's where it hits the fan. O is, arguably, the oldest blood type. Meats are supposed to be the healthiest things for O's to eat. which flies against what you said earlier...

it needs some more research for sure...
I'm O-

O's supposedly are prone to thyroid problems, so don't ignore the iodized salt. iodine is good for healthy thyroids...
also prone to bowel hyperpermeability and celiac...

How so? I said I do better on a low carb, meats are protein ....

I think I am A+ but I am also PCOS, any tips for me?

Graceanne, I am with you. Due to my PCOS (and therefore insulin resistance) I have to lo carb in order to lose weight. Any chance you are looking for a lo carb buddy? [laughs] I have about 50ish lbs to lose and am looking forward to the summer so I can get back to swimming and maybe even some biking with the kids.

Oddly enough my nutritional healing book doesn't have anything to help you out there. I'm sorry!

At some point soon, I am going to get back in the groove of stuff, and at that point, I'd love a low carb buddy. My mom and I have started a y-group to encourage eachother, if you'd like I can send you an invite. However, I am in the closet, and therefore I would appreciate if you'd keep the details of how we met vague.