Older man, younger woman...

[teknight]

There are no absolutes in life other than death and taxes. I but gave my thoughts based upon my experiences and conversations with young ladies I have dated in their early 20's. I have found that young girls that have attached themselves to older guys like myself are looking for maturity, sophistication, experience and a bit of financial security that generally comes with an older man.

My mother taught me that nothing speaks louder than consideration and generosity when courting a woman. I am by no means implying you need drop hundreds of dollars but in general very few woman are looking to date a cheap ass motherfucker not willing to spend a little cash to impress them. Obviously I am not referring to a casual fuckdate you met in a bar as that is just physical attraction. But please tell me how many hot young chicks you seen with a 40 something daddies that did not have some bucks. I been around some and I never seen it.

But then again I am only basing it on my experience. (shrug)

FWIW, a 40 year old man will generally be richer than a 20 something...so it's a very biased sample.
Besides, surely some women have an older guy fetish?

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

So, thirty-four is over the hill, eh? Okay Kanye. Well, when I was eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and so on I never used men for their money. Not all females are golddiggers.

Thirty four is not over the hill, it’s just not 20.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

So, thirty-four is over the hill, eh? Okay Kanye. Well, when I was eighteen, nineteen, twenty, and so on I never used men for their money. Not all females are golddiggers.

No 34 is not over the hill but you are stepping out of the demographics of the discussion. You are correct not all women are gold diggers but I do think a valid point has been made. How many in your vast experience when you seen a really hot young chick dating a dude in his 40's or older that the dude was not loaded. I bet not many if at all. I do not think anybody in the discussion is sayin it does not happen just that it is very rare. You think those hot chicks are hanging on Hugh Heffner because he is a sweet guy?

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

When a young woman is attracted to older men, it often has more to do with the human mating instinct, than it does with whether or not she is a gold digger. Whether she consciously realizes it or not, when a young woman in her early 20s, (even younger for some women), starts looking for a man, she is often drawn to men who could potentially father her children. (We can change society and convince young women that it is undesirable to be a housewife and mother at a young age, but we cannot change their genetic instinct to mate)

Instinctively, when a young woman starts looking for a man who could potentially father her children, she is looking for three things: good genes, a good provider and protection for her and her children. In other words in today’s world, she is looking for financial security and the alpha male. A man in his mid 30s or older is usually established in his career and has some financial security. And as a man grow older, he becomes more mature and more in control of his world, while younger men are still trying to establish themselves or just as often, partying.

To a young woman, a man over 35 can appear to be both a good provider and an alpha male, while men her own age may appear immature. Particularly when man is past 40, he begins to have lines in his face, which makes him appear even more alpha. As a society, we can talk about sensitive men and the touchy-feely crap in men all we want, but at the end of the day, a woman will hook-up with either one of two men: a man who can demonstrate financial security, or an alpha male, or if she is lucky, a man who is both.

 

[teknight]

When a young woman is attracted to older men, it often has more to do with the human mating instinct, than it does with whether or not she is a gold digger. Whether she consciously realizes it or not, when a young woman in her early 20s, (even younger for some women), starts looking for a man, she is often drawn to men who could potentially father her children. (We can change society and convince young women that it is undesirable to be a housewife and mother at a young age, but we cannot change their genetic instinct to mate)

Instinctively, when a young woman starts looking for a man who could potentially father her children, she is looking for three things: good genes, a good provider and protection for her and her children. In other words in today’s world, she is looking for financial security and the alpha male. A man in his mid 30s or older is usually established in his career and has some financial security. And as a man grow older, he becomes more mature and more in control of his world, while younger men are still trying to establish themselves or just as often, partying.

To a young woman, a man over 35 can appear to be both a good provider and an alpha male, while men her own age may appear immature. Particularly when man is past 40, he begins to have lines in his face, which makes him appear even more alpha. As a society, we can talk about sensitive men and the touchy-feely crap in men all we want, but at the end of the day, a woman will hook-up with either one of two men: a man who can demonstrate financial security, or an alpha male, or if she is lucky, a man who is both.

Yup. Women are automatons, who haven't evolved beyond the hominid stage at all. Good thing they shave, or the human species might be in dire straits.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

It’s easy to see why so many guys are confused and clueless about what women really look for in a man. Women sometimes voice a desire for one type of man but then actually choose the opposite type for their mate.

Why is this? The answer is that when women communicate their ideal man, they are expressing a well thought out opinion. This opinion is formulated in the thinking part of the brain. It draws on their past experiences and balances out a lot of pro’s and con’s. It’s logical and makes a lot of sense.

But the mechanism of attraction isn’t based on logic. It’s based on “chemistry”, on how a man makes a woman feel. Men are guilty of this too when it comes to the type of women that arouse us. These subconscious motivators are very powerful.

A woman may say that she wants a guy that listens to what she has to say. But then she chooses a man that dominates the conversation. Or maybe she wants a guy with a good sense of humor, but dates a man with big muscles or a man with lots of money.

While being a good listener is a great skill for keeping a relationship healthy, you can’t have a relationship until you’ve succeeded in attracting her interest in you as a sexual entity.

As you know, the reason for the attraction between men and women is to propagate our species. Getting pregnant may be the last thing on her mind when she sizes up a man. But the attraction that she feels is a subconscious search for a good father for her children. Back when we were all hunter/gatherers, a good father was a someone who could provide for his mate and his children. This was a man who had the strength and confidence to bring home the bacon, not someone who listened to his mate.

Women need men who are good providers, men who can ensure stability for her babies. For this reason a financially secure man has a better chance of landing a woman than an unemployed man.

A woman also needs to perceive that a man will be generous with his resources. A man that’s skillful at the hunt but refuses to share the food with his family makes for a poor mate. That’s why the giving of gifts has always been a part of the courtship ritual. A generous man is a good provider. This could very well be the origin the engagement ring tradition. It demonstrates that a man has the resources and the willingness to share it with his mate and her children.

So before you can have a relationship, you must succeed in attracting her first. In those first minutes of meeting a new woman, you’ll need to display that you’re a confident, healthy, strong, powerful male. This is what women really want in a man. This triggers that initial animal attraction that evolution has wired into her.

 

[teknight]

It’s easy to see why so many guys are confused and clueless about what women really look for in a man. Women sometimes voice a desire for one type of man but then actually choose the opposite type for their mate.

Why is this? The answer is that when women communicate their ideal man, they are expressing a well thought out opinion. This opinion is formulated in the thinking part of the brain. It draws on their past experiences and balances out a lot of pro’s and con’s. It’s logical and makes a lot of sense.

But the mechanism of attraction isn’t based on logic. It’s based on “chemistry”, on how a man makes a woman feel. Men are guilty of this too when it comes to the type of women that arouse us. These subconscious motivators are very powerful.

A woman may say that she wants a guy that listens to what she has to say. But then she chooses a man that dominates the conversation. Or maybe she wants a guy with a good sense of humor, but dates a man with big muscles or a man with lots of money.

While being a good listener is a great skill for keeping a relationship healthy, you can’t have a relationship until you’ve succeeded in attracting her interest in you as a sexual entity.

As you know, the reason for the attraction between men and women is to propagate our species. Getting pregnant may be the last thing on her mind when she sizes up a man. But the attraction that she feels is a subconscious search for a good father for her children. Back when we were all hunter/gatherers, a good father was a someone who could provide for his mate and his children. This was a man who had the strength and confidence to bring home the bacon, not someone who listened to his mate.

Women need men who are good providers, men who can ensure stability for her babies. For this reason a financially secure man has a better chance of landing a woman than an unemployed man.

A woman also needs to perceive that a man will be generous with his resources. A man that’s skillful at the hunt but refuses to share the food with his family makes for a poor mate. That’s why the giving of gifts has always been a part of the courtship ritual. A generous man is a good provider. This could very well be the origin the engagement ring tradition. It demonstrates that a man has the resources and the willingness to share it with his mate and her children.

So before you can have a relationship, you must succeed in attracting her first. In those first minutes of meeting a new woman, you’ll need to display that you’re a confident, healthy, strong, powerful male. This is what women really want in a man. This triggers that initial animal attraction that evolution has wired into her.

Tone down the over generalizations...or you'll be accused of mansplaining.
Women seek out providers? That explains why so many kids are born in poverty, doesn't it? Why do poor people have more kids than rich people? (true on a global scale- when GDP/capita in a country reaches $10,000, the number of births decreases).
Based on what you've said, you'd expect fewer kids born in poor countries, since there are no good providers there.
The ring tradition? Branding property?
But, of course, women are animals, weak and only subject to their base-most nature.
...and some posters are wired to make generalized statements, providing little in the way of proof.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

Yup. Women are automatons, who haven't evolved beyond the hominid stage at all. Good thing they shave, or the human species might be in dire straits.

Try reading something before running your mouth douche bag.


What Men And Women Really Want In A Mate

ScienceDaily (Sep. 7, 2007) — While humans may pride themselves on being highly evolved, most still behave like the stereotypical Neanderthals when it comes to choosing a mate, according to research by Indiana University cognitive scientist Peter Todd. In a new study, Todd and colleagues found that though individuals may claim otherwise, beauty is the key ingredient for men while women, the much choosier of the sexes, leverage their looks for security and commitment.

This formula has served humans throughout time, with the model of choosy females reflected in most mammals.

"Evolutionary theories in psychology suggest that men and women should trade off different traits in each other, and when we look at the actual mate choices people make, this is what we find evidence for," Todd said. "Ancestral individuals who made their mate choices in this way -- women trading off their attractiveness for higher quality men and men looking for any attractive women who will accept them -- would have had an evolutionary advantage in greater numbers of successful offspring."

Not exactly politically correct? Participants in Todd's study might verbally agree, though their actions said something different.

The study used a speed-dating session in Germany to compare what people say they want in a mate with whom they actually choose. Speed dating, an increasingly popular way for singles to meet, involves sessions in which men and women have numerous "mini dates" with up to 30 different people, each date lasting anywhere from three to five minutes. After every date, the men and women checked a box on a card noting whether they would like to see the other person again. Todd and his colleagues describe such speed-dating events as a "microcosm where mate choices are made sequentially in a faster and more formalized fashion than in daily life."

For Todd's study, 46 adults in a speed-dating session were also asked to fill out a questionnaire beforehand assessing themselves and their ideal mate according to evolutionarily relevant traits, such as physical attractiveness, present and future financial status, health and parenting qualities.

Not surprisingly, Todd said, participants stated they wanted to find someone who was like themselves -- a socially acceptable answer. But once the sessions began, the men sought the more attractive women and the women were drawn to material wealth and security, setting their standards according to how attractive they viewed themselves. Furthermore, while men on average wanted to see every second woman again, the women wanted to meet only a third of the men again.

While the study's results came as no surprise to Todd, the research usefulness of the speed-dating forum did. Todd and his colleagues are conducting several other speed-dating studies that could confirm the results.

"Speed dating lets us look at a large number of mate choice decisions collected in a short amount of time," Todd said. "It only captures the initial stage of the extended process involved in long-term mate choice. But that initial expression of interest is crucial for launching everything else."

Reference: "Different cognitive processes underlie human mate choices and mate preferences," to be published the week of Sept. 4-7 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Coauthors are Lars Penke, Department of Psychology, Humboldt University, Berlin, Germany; Barbara Fasolo, Operational Research Group, London School of Economics, London, U.K.; and Alison P. Lenton, Department of Psychology, University of Edinburgh, Edenburgh, Scotland, U.K.

The study was supported by the Max Planck Society, Germany's national science foundation.

 

[teknight]

Try reading something before running your mouth douche bag.

</snip>

Is that study the end all be all?
And how do you account for all the other stuff you didn't bother to read among what I posted?

Fact is that human behavior is damn complex and hard to account for.

But kudos on actually citing a paper. Thank you for that.

Let me point out that experiments have a hard time finding higher validity in the real world, where the number of confounding variables is way higher than scientists can account for. It's why they run experiments in the first place.

Do you feel better now that you've insulted me?

How's this for reading?
Here's the authors' conclusion, not what the guy writing for a magazine said:

...men chose women based on their physical attractiveness, whereas women, who were generally much more discriminating than men, chose men whose overall desirability as a mate matched the women's self-perceived physical attractiveness.

Nothing in there about money and alphaness.

 

[GuiltyAsCharged]

Is that study the end all be all?
And how do you account for all the other stuff you didn't bother to read among what I posted?

Fact is that human behavior is damn complex and hard to account for.

But kudos on actually citing a paper. Thank you for that.

Let me point out that experiments have a hard time finding higher validity in the real world, where the number of confounding variables is way higher than scientists can account for. It's why they run experiments in the first place.

Do you feel better now that you've insulted me?

Just admit you were PWNED and bow out gracefully. You can squirm and snipe all you want but you've been trumped.

 

[teknight]

Just admit you were PWNED and bow out gracefully. You can squirm and snipe all you want but you've been trumped.

Read my reply...and the original paper.

 

[GuiltyAsCharged]

Read my reply...and the original paper.

I did.

It still supports what was said earlier.

But really I don't think it has a lot to do with the real subject at hand.

Hot 20 yr old girls generally do not date old guys unless he has cash. Nobody likes to hear that especially woman but us old fucks know the score.

 

[LindsayRae]

It's amazing at how dirtyoldman36's thread asking for a bit of "advice" from others in such a relationship turned into this pessimistic mess.

 

[teknight]

It's amazing at how dirtyoldman36's thread asking for a bit of "advice" from others in such a relationship turned into this pessimistic mess.

It's all about guys knowing better...than the next guy.

 

[LindsayRae]

I think the cock fight with chickens is less messy.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

It’s easy to see why so many guys are confused and clueless about what women really look for in a man. Women sometimes voice a desire for one type of man but then actually choose the opposite type for their mate.

Why is this? The answer is that when women communicate their ideal man, they are expressing a well thought out opinion. This opinion is formulated in the thinking part of the brain. It draws on their past experiences and balances out a lot of pro’s and con’s. It’s logical and makes a lot of sense.

But the mechanism of attraction isn’t based on logic. It’s based on “chemistry”, on how a man makes a woman feel. Men are guilty of this too when it comes to the type of women that arouse us. These subconscious motivators are very powerful.

A woman may say that she wants a guy that listens to what she has to say. But then she chooses a man that dominates the conversation. Or maybe she wants a guy with a good sense of humor, but dates a man with big muscles or a man with lots of money.

While being a good listener is a great skill for keeping a relationship healthy, you can’t have a relationship until you’ve succeeded in attracting her interest in you as a sexual entity.

As you know, the reason for the attraction between men and women is to propagate our species. Getting pregnant may be the last thing on her mind when she sizes up a man. But the attraction that she feels is a subconscious search for a good father for her children. Back when we were all hunter/gatherers, a good father was a someone who could provide for his mate and his children. This was a man who had the strength and confidence to bring home the bacon, not someone who listened to his mate.

Women need men who are good providers, men who can ensure stability for her babies. For this reason a financially secure man has a better chance of landing a woman than an unemployed man.

A woman also needs to perceive that a man will be generous with his resources. A man that’s skillful at the hunt but refuses to share the food with his family makes for a poor mate. That’s why the giving of gifts has always been a part of the courtship ritual. A generous man is a good provider. This could very well be the origin the engagement ring tradition. It demonstrates that a man has the resources and the willingness to share it with his mate and her children.

So before you can have a relationship, you must succeed in attracting her first. In those first minutes of meeting a new woman, you’ll need to display that you’re a confident, healthy, strong, powerful male. This is what women really want in a man. This triggers that initial animal attraction that evolution has wired into her.

Yep, that's pretty much the way it is.

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

Tone down the over generalizations...or you'll be accused of mansplaining.
Women seek out providers? That explains why so many kids are born in poverty, doesn't it? Why do poor people have more kids than rich people? (true on a global scale- when GDP/capita in a country reaches $10,000, the number of births decreases).
Based on what you've said, you'd expect fewer kids born in poor countries, since there are no good providers there.
The ring tradition? Branding property?
But, of course, women are animals, weak and only subject to their base-most nature.
...and some posters are wired to make generalized statements, providing little in the way of proof.

You are reading too much liberal media crap, try looking at the real world. Take professional athletes for example: professional football players in general have plenty of money, and no one would deny they are alpha males, (some even look like they could walk on their knuckles ), but they always have the sexist women. A woman doesn’t hook-up with a pro ball player because she thinks he is going to knit her a sweater or plant a bed of pansies in the back yard, she hooks-up with him because he is alpha. When you see a woman with a man who knits sweaters and plants pansies in the back yard, (metaphorically), it’s because there isn’t enough alpha males to go around. An alpha male is not a man who is dominant of women, an alpha male is a man who is dominant among other men, and as time goes by, there are less and less alpha males in society.

I realize that thought is depressing for some men, but that is just the way life is.

 

[ramrod32784]

You mean Hugh Hefner doesen't get women on his looks and personality?

 

[Galactic_Perv]

It's all about guys knowing better...than the next guy.

.....and brother you are right in this category that you so patronize

 

[Galactic_Perv]

You are reading too much liberal media crap, try looking at the real world. Take professional athletes for example: professional football players in general have plenty of money, and no one would deny they are alpha males, (some even look like they could walk on their knuckles ), but they always have the sexist women. A woman doesn’t hook-up with a pro ball player because she thinks he is going to knit her a sweater or plant a bed of pansies in the back yard, she hooks-up with him because he is alpha. When you see a woman with a man who knits sweaters and plants pansies in the back yard, (metaphorically), it’s because there isn’t enough alpha males to go around. An alpha male is not a man who is dominant of women, an alpha male is a man who is dominant among other men[, and as time goes by, there are less and less alpha males in society.

I realize that thought is depressing for some men, but that is just the way life is.

You hit that on the head. Alpha male has nothing to do with the feminist it is about the pecking order of the herd. Teknight argues because he is very low on the pecking order. Did you see his AMPic Thread? That fatbody never did a pushup in his life. He has no muscle tone at all. I guarantee back in high school he rarely dated if at all. Hot girls never gave him a 2nd look. That is why he tries so hard to be a badboy on Lit because in real life nobody even notices him. His hips are as wide as his shoulders and at a mere 26 years of age he already has a potbelly forming. At 40 he will likely never score any hot pussy unless he pays for it.

Just sayin.

 

[teknight]

You are reading too much liberal media crap, try looking at the real world. Take professional athletes for example: professional football players in general have plenty of money, and no one would deny they are alpha males, (some even look like they could walk on their knuckles ), but they always have the sexist women. A woman doesn’t hook-up with a pro ball player because she thinks he is going to knit her a sweater or plant a bed of pansies in the back yard, she hooks-up with him because he is alpha. When you see a woman with a man who knits sweaters and plants pansies in the back yard, (metaphorically), it’s because there isn’t enough alpha males to go around. An alpha male is not a man who is dominant of women, an alpha male is a man who is dominant among other men, and as time goes by, there are less and less alpha males in society.

I realize that thought is depressing for some men, but that is just the way life is.

No, fella. Tone down the assumptions. I do this shit- experimental design for a living...samples of 21 don't mean jack shit, especially when they're as biased as this.
So, quit watching that liberal media shit. :rolleyes;

 

[Nasty_Deeds]

No, fella. Tone down the assumptions. I do this shit- experimental design for a living...samples of 21 don't mean jack shit, especially when they're as biased as this.
So, quit watching that liberal media shit. :rolleyes;

It doesn't make any difference what you do for a living, at the end of the day, the good looking women go home with the guys with the bucks or the balls.

 

[Galactic_Perv]

No, fella. Tone down the assumptions. I do this shit- experimental design for a living...samples of 21 don't mean jack shit, especially when they're as biased as this.
So, quit watching that liberal media shit. :rolleyes;

While you tinker with experimental design we live in the real world and date real woman. Nothing beats experience junior.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Much much too rude- really!!!

Sometimes people reap what they sow.

 

[Very_Bad_Man]

Really guys can we have discussions without degrading to name calling or pissing matches here?

If you find Teknight offensive do as I do, ignore him. I but stated my opinion with a DISCLAIMER that is was just my views based on my experience and observations. Teknight is entitled to his opinion and should be given the same respect even though he gives little in return. Take my advice. Take the high road. Just do as I do, ignore him.

This discussion, as it pertains to the "hot young chick" and the "old fuckers like us", I think the views of those within those categories hold more weight as we have the experience.

Teknight I took you off ignore so I can answer something for you. You are very correct we are generalizing and there is a reasonable explanation for this fact. Behavioral Sciences is and never will be an EXACT science. It is not like a math equation where 2x2 always equals 4. We as older men are just giving our opinion as it pertains to our experience.

Do some hot young chicks fuck a daddy type to satisfy a fetish? Sure it happens. But generally when you see a hot young chick with a 40 plus year old man it is because he is financial successful and he can provide her with the toys and cash she desires. I find nothing wrong with that. They both are getting what they want. She gets access to his money he get access to her hot young pussy. Believe me he knows the score.