one of my stories

[KillerMuffin]

I am a writer, I am allowed to be a prick to critics, it comes with the territory.

Actually, it doesn't. Common courtesy should rule the day. You are certainly allowed to be a prick to critics, but not because you're a writer. You're allowed to be a prick to critics because you want to be a prick. There's a substantial difference. Ask any published writer, they'll tell you the same.

You specifically asked Chardonnay to give you feedback. She did. Being rude to her at this point is nothing more than bad manners and there's no white-washing it. She was not negative and she was not disrespectful. She was honest and thorough. You, on the other hand, you were argumentative, negative, and singularly ungrateful for any effort extended in your behalf. I can tell you with certainty that she took longer and gave more thought to that crit than you did to write that piece. That's the nature of good crit. If you don't understand something, ask for clarification. If you don't agree with something, ask for the reasoning behind it. If you have no use for the critique, say thank you for your time and leave it at that. That is what goes with the territory of being a writer.

 

[Kate.E]

I thought Dad’s Friend was an amazing title. It really made me want to read it as my dad has friends and I thought I could relate to it immediately.

Again, there was more intrigue in the back story – a girl looking older than she is – something out of the ordinary to grab the reader’s (s’) attention. I also liked how the name Becko never once made me think of Bilko throughout.

So, someone prancing around was something that made me tingle all over. I love that in ‘pornographic fiction’. She certainly seemed talented by the way she could contort into all kinds of poses and take these photos all by herself without having to look through the viewfinder. I dare say she still managed to stick to the Law of the Thirds in producing such work and to learn that she had her own darkroom; I just knew she had lit each shot herself and tried out some innovative lighting techniques too. Then she passed through some rolls of something (I’m hoping she didn’t have a curry the previous night), and managed to dress herself in skimpy clothing without actually, well … dressing herself in skimpy clothing. *Applause*

Then she revealed some cleavage to Dad’s Friend – I’m guessing it was her own – and noticed a bulge in his pants. Well, I know I pay my lawyer quite ridiculous amounts, so this was obviously his wallet (see, at least I could follow the story. Unlike all them who poked fun at you). I was slightly confused when a talking fox appeared, but I soon got back on track. Silly me, huh? The Roger Moore homage was a nice touch at this point – where his pants slid down his oily legs and she took his length in her mouth. Again, I was a bit confused because I thought maybe he kept a dipstick down there and the oil from it had caused his pants to slide off, but it all became apparent as a new character, a young slut, was introduced to the story. Then an imaginative sex scene evolved.

I found the whole story riveting. The main points I adored were the characters – how you employed such descriptive techniques in creating such a vivid picture of each, however many there turned out to be.

I think it was cruel of everyone to give such an honest opinion of where you went wrong. After all, you invited them to comment, the least they can do is tell you how good it is and how it’s a story that needs to be heard. I agree with you – they are all just jealous of your talent and because of the fact that it is going to get published and make you heaps of money.

In reading some of the other posts.: I firmly agree with you and believe you are a real writer – certainly one of the most bestest I have ever read – the others just don’t want to admit it – but I’m not afraid to. Three awards too – OMG! and they were all for writing too, I bet.

I’d be most interested in reading how you actually do complete the piece. I was unable to come up with any suggestions which would do it any justice. I agonised for minutes over it – so frustrating.

Anyway … looking forward to the ending.

 

[Guest]

ok, you've made it very clear you do not want to see anymore of my stories. Fine, I wont post anymore.
One more thing, I dont see how my story is any worse than others here. I do believe I have been fair and objective to feedback here but courtesy has not been extended to me. Thats ok, I know what to expect from this forum from now on.
btw, KM, I take more time writing/revising one story than most people take the time to write an entire book.

 

[Kate.E]

Are you saying that the story you posted was revised and rewritten several times?

I'd honestly like to see some of your other work. I mean that.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

ok, you've made it

Hey, look! An apostrophe. I hope you didn't think it was too exhausting... I know how you find it dull to observe these things. It's tiresome to review everything you write 5, sorry 6, sorry 7 times and still do something about it...

 

[Guest]

mynextstorywillhavenospacesorpunctuationsohowdoyoulikethat?

 

[DarlingNikki]

De Sade, don't let these guys get you down. I like stories where I get to picture the characters exactly as I want to. And it's so rude when an author tries to tell me what his characters are like when I would much rather decide for myself why they do things! It's more interactive that way.

I also think it's really cool that you spent a year and a half editing that piece. That shows real effort and dedication.

And I prance around the house naked all the time. Prancing is so liberating! Those other people must just not have nice bodies.

You know, someone told me Shakespeare was considered a hack in his time!

Post some more stories, I'd love to read them!

 

[Guest]

You know, someone told me Shakespeare was considered a hack in his time!

Post some more stories, I'd love to read them!

Thanks. No one can get me down. I find some of their rantings amusing (because of how misinformed and delusional they are).
I have 32 stories currently in rough draft but not all of them are erotica. I like to write surreal tales as well.

*there is still debate about whether or not Shakespeare wrote all his tales. Matthew Barlowe was a close friend of his and also a talented writer so....

 

[Lauren Hynde]

mynextstorywillhavenospacesorpunctuationsohowdoyoulikethat?

Oddly enough, I'd be fine with it. If you do it right it's perfectly acceptable. José Saramago was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1998 and he certainly has unique ways of using puntuation and paragraphing...

Good luck with it.

 

[Guest]

Oddly enough, I'd be fine with it. If you do it right it's perfectly acceptable. José Saramago was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1998 and he certainly has unique ways of using puntuation and paragraphing...

Good luck with it.

wow, I dont understand you people. You were either being serious or sarcastic.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I don't have a sarcastic bone in my body. Not when it comes to you, anyway...

 

[DarlingNikki]

Thanks. No one can get me down. I find some of their rantings amusing (because of how misinformed and delusional they are).
I have 32 stories currently in rough draft but not all of them are erotica. I like to write surreal tales as well.

*there is still debate about whether or not Shakespeare wrote all his tales. Matthew Barlowe was a close friend of his and also a talented writer so....

I'm with you, De Sade! I'm amused to death by misinformed and delusional rants! Hee hee!

Surreal tales sound cool. That must be a stretch for you though, what with Dad's Friend being such a literal and believable tale. Good for you for branching out!

32 stories! Wow, that's really awesome! But how are you going to be able to find time to rewrite them so many times? With the amount of effort you spend on each one, it will take you almost 50 years! Can you just post them anyway? Most of the people here won't be able to appreciate them no matter how much work you do, know what I mean?

 

[Kate.E]

Sar - what?

 

[Guest]

I don't have a sarcastic bone in my body. Not when it comes to you, anyway...

meaning what? As a writer, you shouldn't be vague.
DarlingNikki, ha ha, I got it.

 

[DarlingNikki]

meaning what? As a writer, you shouldn't be vague.
DarlingNikki, ha ha, I got it. So you joined the clan, do you have to wear a uniform?

What do you mean, the clan? Are you making fun of me because I'm black? That's not nice. I do wear a uniform when I'm at school, but I take it off whenever I want to prance around nude.

Anyway, I'm excited to see the rest of your stories!

 

[Guest]

What do you mean, the clan? Are you making fun of me because I'm black?

uh no, I get the feeling you are being fecetious. Ok, maybe prancing was a bad choice of words. Can someone suggest a better word?

 

[DarlingNikki]

uh no, I get the feeling you are being fecetious. Ok, maybe prancing was a bad choice of words. Can someone suggest a better word?

Fecetious? Oh, no, your stories aren't scat stories, are they? I'll try to keep an open mind but I'm not really into that. Do you have any that are more, you know, regular?

I don't see anything wrong with the word prance. But maybe you could have her flitting around nude. Or how about gallivanting?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

meaning what? As a writer, you shouldn't be vague.

Meaning that the first post I ever directed at you was sarcastic and you made a fool of yourself because of it. You edited it a few hours later (it seems to be your signature mark), so you might not remember it. Anyway, after that happened, I just came to the conclusion that sarcasm must whoosh right underneath your portent of an intellect, so I stopped using it. I really meant what I said about punctuation and paragraphing. If you can do it right, I'll be the first to say so.

 

[Guest]

Meaning that the first post I ever directed at you was sarcastic and you made a fool of yourself because of it.

hmmm, it didnt seem like sarcasm to me. It sounded very angry and belligerent. Oh well, I'll have to take your course How To Discern Sarcasm From Hateful Diatribes.

Darlingnikki, no, I dont write scat stories but for you I'll make an exception.

 

[DarlingNikki]

Darlingnikki, no, I dont write scat stories but for you I'll make an exception.

That's so sweet of you! But I'd be happy with just the regular stories. When can I see one? Are you teasing me? How did you know I love to be teased?

 

[Kate.E]

Ohh goody. A clan. Am I part of it? Or can I be?
It gets a bit tiresome baing in a minority group at times.

And a uniform too. Do we take turns in washing duties?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

hmmm, it didnt seem like sarcasm to me. It sounded very angry and belligerent. Oh well, I'll have to take your course How To Discern Sarcasm From Hateful Diatribes.

It's really easy: I don't use sarcasm if people don't recognize it (because what would the fun be in doing that?), and you have never seen me angry or belligerent.

I got better things to get angry and belligerent about...

 

[Guest]

Ohh goody. A clan. Am I part of it? Or can I be?
It gets a bit tiresome baing in a minority group at times.

And a uniform too. Do we take turns in washing duties?

what is "baing"?

Lauren, trying to scare me hon?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

What for?

 

[DarlingNikki]

Stories, stories, stories! *pout*