Just from my own experience...
To atariblue
I don't know you personally, so this is just my general opinion:
I think a strong focus on finding a life partner can be the problem. Firstly, it puts your heart out on your sleeve and often that makes someone come across as desperate (for love). Women generally aren’t attracted to desperate men. A girl like me can smell a desperate man a mile away.
Driving for the end goal is a set up for disappointment. It actually changes the way you interact with women. I find that guys that want that life partner are too quick in asking for histories and futures. The information sharing isn’t fluid or natural, but forced. They don’t want to play––they just want to find out information to see if you’re a match, rather than wanting to have fun with you because they think you’re a great person. This makes it feel that they are more interested in having a relationship rather than developing a relationship.
We all know that to achieve the end goal you have to make smaller goals as stepping stones. Make your first goal to have fun. That will change your approach to dating and it will change the way you interact with women. It’s great to be with a guy who wants to have fun and then after many fun dates/interactions, you can both decided TOGETHER ‘hey, we’re pretty good together’.
Ask ‘how' questions as opposed to ‘why' questions. How questions are safe and non-intrisive. It requires the girl to talk about actions in an objective way. How question keep things light and fun. Why questions are too intimate for first stages of dating/interaction as they are about finding out how a person ticks. A girl doesn’t want to expose herself too quickly (unless she is desperate herself) she wants to have fun, play and be enjoyed without having everything she says being analysed to see if she could be a life partner. Thats not to say you cant have deep intellectual conversation––that’s fun too––but don’t get too personal too quickly.
And don’t talk about problems, especially how hard it is for you to find a life partner.
That’s an invitation to allow her to distance herself, saying “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone one day” (meaning, not her). If such, you have automatically put yourself in the friend zone!
I guess my point is, desperate people tend to rush things, they are too eager and therefore fail to represent themselves as who they really are. Girls want to know YOU, not a hyperactive relationship-seeking version. Keep your end goal for the end. Just start with the first step––enjoy. <3
There are so many nice guys on here. I'm amazed. I haven't RP with you (yet) but you sound great! Though, I'm not the kind for a monogomous relationship. I like to have a harem of guys ...lol
To atariblue
I don't know you personally, so this is just my general opinion:
I think a strong focus on finding a life partner can be the problem. Firstly, it puts your heart out on your sleeve and often that makes someone come across as desperate (for love). Women generally aren’t attracted to desperate men. A girl like me can smell a desperate man a mile away.
Driving for the end goal is a set up for disappointment. It actually changes the way you interact with women. I find that guys that want that life partner are too quick in asking for histories and futures. The information sharing isn’t fluid or natural, but forced. They don’t want to play––they just want to find out information to see if you’re a match, rather than wanting to have fun with you because they think you’re a great person. This makes it feel that they are more interested in having a relationship rather than developing a relationship.
We all know that to achieve the end goal you have to make smaller goals as stepping stones. Make your first goal to have fun. That will change your approach to dating and it will change the way you interact with women. It’s great to be with a guy who wants to have fun and then after many fun dates/interactions, you can both decided TOGETHER ‘hey, we’re pretty good together’.
Ask ‘how' questions as opposed to ‘why' questions. How questions are safe and non-intrisive. It requires the girl to talk about actions in an objective way. How question keep things light and fun. Why questions are too intimate for first stages of dating/interaction as they are about finding out how a person ticks. A girl doesn’t want to expose herself too quickly (unless she is desperate herself) she wants to have fun, play and be enjoyed without having everything she says being analysed to see if she could be a life partner. Thats not to say you cant have deep intellectual conversation––that’s fun too––but don’t get too personal too quickly.
And don’t talk about problems, especially how hard it is for you to find a life partner.
That’s an invitation to allow her to distance herself, saying “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone one day” (meaning, not her). If such, you have automatically put yourself in the friend zone!I guess my point is, desperate people tend to rush things, they are too eager and therefore fail to represent themselves as who they really are. Girls want to know YOU, not a hyperactive relationship-seeking version. Keep your end goal for the end. Just start with the first step––enjoy. <3
There are so many nice guys on here. I'm amazed. I haven't RP with you (yet) but you sound great! Though, I'm not the kind for a monogomous relationship. I like to have a harem of guys
...lol
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