Oral Sex & Submissiveness

[intothewoods]

I don't think an act can be submissive or dominant. The intent behind it makes it such.

I like having oral sex performed on me. It's not my favorite thing; I can take it or leave it. But I do enjoy it from time to time. When a dominant partner licks my pussy, it makes me feel very submissive. On the other hand, when a submissive partner does it, it makes me feel very dominant.

Same goes for me giving oral sex. I love to give it. If I'm sucking cock or eating pussy for a dominant partner, I feel submissive. If I'm doing it for a submissive partner, I feel dominant. Was that confusing enough?

Makes sense to me.

 

[SubKekiLee]

So, this was addressed in another post & we thought it should have it's own.

Receiving oral sex for me can be either a submissive act, or one of equality for me.

Let me explain. In a mutual act of pleasure I know that he is doing it because he is willing to for me. It may be that he likes my taste or smell, my reaction or just pleasuring me. But he does it also because he knows I like it.

However, imagine this. I am ordered to strip seductively for him, then walked over to a full length mirror naked, his hands holding my wrists behind my back & my breasts pushed out. With his other hand he reaches down and feels how wet I am before tracing his fingers around my lips & then teasing me when he sees my tongue flick out hoping to catch a taste. Removing his hand back to between my legs he starts to rub me and my knees give way as I push my hips harder into his hand. He whispers in my ear that he owns me completely and that he controls everything, including my orgasm. Then my hands are tied behind my back & I am laid on the bed, my bound wrists under my hips, lifing myself and presenting myself to him. I am ashamed of how available I am to him, can't believe the way my legs seem to have opened wide of their own accord as he steps back & just looks over his pet as I am unable to stop the slow gentle thrusting of my hips as I try & entice him to use me. He then pulls me to the edge of the bed, my heels just perched on the side of the mattress, my hips scooted down as close as they can be, my knees in the air before he pust on hand on the inside of each & pushes them apart. Then he slides one finger into me, hooking it to rub me and looking down into my eyes when he reminds me that he controls my orgasm and I will not come without his permission. I can not ask to come. I must wait till it is granted. Slowly lowering his head to between my legs he traces his tongue along the inside of my thigh, his thumb gently rubbing my clit before his tongue finally replaces it. Then the dance of denial. He brings me to the brink more times that I can count till I can't help but beg to come,which I know will get me trouble. He removes his mouth from me & with his thumb back on my clit, knowing that I would prefer to come on his tongue, grants me the permission as he watches my face, my head thrown back & my neck exposed, my body is quivering. He knows that I am enjoying it and I can ride this orgasmic wave for a while, but gentely removes his hand before I have finished and watches the deapsir on my face, listening to the moan of denail. Waiting till he knows my body is no longer immediately orgasmic. Then he enters me, pulling my hips closer to the egde of the bed, using me for his pleasure. I am definately his submissive.

WOW TMS Thats a HOT story.. I do not feel as if being given oral sex by my Sir is a submissive act by him in anyway.... He is amazing at it and I am blessed to have him in my life....

This is all in the perspective of the individual and what they believe D/s to be.

In my mind (aka; MY World) I perform oral sex on my pet because I know how much she likes me doing it. I don't always enjoy doing it for many reasons but, I love her reaction to my tongue. I will bring her up to the edge and back down several times until she can't take any more before I allow her to cum. I have no problem spending time doing this because of the pleasure I receive from her pain of not being able to have an orgasm until I tell her to.

The part I enjoy the most is; after I let her cum via oral I will crawl on top of her and whisper in her ear for her to cum for me again. I will not touch her in any way other than pressing my body against hers and she cannot touch herself. She has not let me down yet. Each and every time I have commanded her to cum in this way she has.

DS

Okay WOW! What a view I live in the same world as he does... My View on D/s as well as his is the same since I am his pet.... I know he loves my body's reaction to what he does to me, It is true that he takes me to the edge, but does not allow me to cum right away he makes me build it up and then when he does allow me to cum it is intense as I can only imagine.. and It is also true he does instruct me to cum without touching me when he is done with oral and every time Ive been able to cum with just him whispering in my ear what a good pet I am. I belive that I am a good submissive by pleasing him no matter what act that might be... Oral worship, Oral sex,whatever however..I am HIS submissive, his pet to play, with how he sees fit....

 

[HottieMama]

I don't think an act can be submissive or dominant. The intent behind it makes it such.

I like having oral sex performed on me. It's not my favorite thing; I can take it or leave it. But I do enjoy it from time to time. When a dominant partner licks my pussy, it makes me feel very submissive. On the other hand, when a submissive partner does it, it makes me feel very dominant.

Same goes for me giving oral sex. I love to give it. If I'm sucking cock or eating pussy for a dominant partner, I feel submissive. If I'm doing it for a submissive partner, I feel dominant. Was that confusing enough?

Confusing....Shit..that makes perfect sense Bunny.

It FEELS good...who cares what it "is?"

 

[BiBunny]

Confusing....Shit..that makes perfect sense Bunny.

It FEELS good...who cares what it "is?"

*Ahem* Great minds and all that.

 

[DracheDD]

I think BiBunny's got it about right there.

I don't find it particularly submissive one way or the other.
I don't go down on a woman because I HAVE to, but I do it because I WANT to.

 

[IsabellaKing]

I know he enjoys the sight of me kneeling at his feet whilst I suck his cock and, to be ordered to do it in unconventional places, such as the kitchen or outside, tends to make me feel more submissive than I would if we were in the bedroom.

It doesn't make me feel dominant when he does it to me because he is still in control of my orgasm. He knows it's a sure fire way of getting me going and so, a useful tool for turning me into a gibbering wreck

 

[Marquis]

So doms are eating pussy nowsadays?

Like, for real?

 

[IsabellaKing]

So doms are eating pussy nowsadays?

Like, for real?

Do you find that strange, Marquis?

 

[Marquis]

Do you find that strange, Marquis?

I'm really not into performing oral.

It's not that I don't think I could do it. It's just that I've never met anyone who could get me to want to.

 

[IsabellaKing]

.....

 

[Anne_Prospere]

i dont like oral sex.
I've had mostly bad oral anyway, although I have had one oral orgasm recently which was miraculous!
in most instances, i feel like i have to fake it, and I dont want to do that.
plus I feel nervous when i have someones face in my pousoirre, and I cant get past that into a state of comfort and enjoy it.
this coupled with my taste for dominant men who exacerbate this nervousness=no oral please.

 

[EmpressFi]

So doms are eating pussy nowsadays?

Like, for real?

For real and quite a lot.

 

[WriterDom]

So doms are eating pussy nowsadays?

Like, for real?

Don't take this the wrong way M, but isn't there a racial bias in the black community about eating pussy in general?

 

[Netzach]

I'm not an oral giver myself, though I've been known to be. It's not in my top five rotation of things I like to do. I kind of go with the do what I want when I want thing - it bugs the shit out of me when bottoms feel like they are entitled to some kind of reciprocal tit for tat orgasm thing, though. WTF? I'll get you off plenty, when I WANT to.

On the receptive end, I've been fairly pleased with the level of head I've gotten, but I tend to have the Woody Allen "pizza" kind of attitude about what I get. As long as someone isn't a complete dolt they will usually get me off. Talent will win me over more than non obviously.

 

[WriterDom]

The more attractive a woman is the more likely that they’ll get oral sex. No offense, but if a lady is pushing 300 pounds it almost feels life threatening for her to be on top of your body. But 69 with someone I am attracted to is fucking hot. If I want to be pleased first I can spank her ass and talk dirty to her. Or we can do the “spank” means to switch game. Or the full out race to cum. Or the eat her for my pleasure thing where I cum in her mouth and stay there until I’m ready to fuck and she only gets to cum on my cock. And when you think about it, pleasure can almost be a torture. A sweet sweet torture.

 

[petes478]

teachmesir...oral sex and submissiveness...

Teachmesir said "Oral Sex & Submissiveness

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, this was addressed in another post & we thought it should have it's own.

Receiving oral sex for me can be either a submissive act, or one of equality for me.

Let me explain. In a mutual act of pleasure I know that he is doing it because he is willing to for me. It may be that he likes my taste or smell, my reaction or just pleasuring me. But he does it also because he knows I like it.

However, imagine this. I am ordered to strip seductively for him, then walked over to a full length mirror naked, his hands holding my wrists behind my back & my breasts pushed out. With his other hand he reaches down and feels how wet I am before tracing his fingers around my lips & then teasing me when he sees my tongue flick out hoping to catch a taste. Removing his hand back to between my legs he starts to rub me and my knees give way as I push my hips harder into his hand. He whispers in my ear that he owns me completely and that he controls everything, including my orgasm. Then my hands are tied behind my back & I am laid on the bed, my bound wrists under my hips, lifing myself and presenting myself to him. I am ashamed of how available I am to him, can't believe the way my legs seem to have opened wide of their own accord as he steps back & just looks over his pet as I am unable to stop the slow gentle thrusting of my hips as I try & entice him to use me. He then pulls me to the edge of the bed, my heels just perched on the side of the mattress, my hips scooted down as close as they can be, my knees in the air before he pust on hand on the inside of each & pushes them apart. Then he slides one finger into me, hooking it to rub me and looking down into my eyes when he reminds me that he controls my orgasm and I will not come without his permission. I can not ask to come. I must wait till it is granted. Slowly lowering his head to between my legs he traces his tongue along the inside of my thigh, his thumb gently rubbing my clit before his tongue finally replaces it. Then the dance of denial. He brings me to the brink more times that I can count till I can't help but beg to come,which I know will get me trouble. He removes his mouth from me & with his thumb back on my clit, knowing that I would prefer to come on his tongue, grants me the permission as he watches my face, my head thrown back & my neck exposed, my body is quivering. He knows that I am enjoying it and I can ride this orgasmic wave for a while, but gentely removes his hand before I have finished and watches the deapsir on my face, listening to the moan of denail. Waiting till he knows my body is no longer immediately orgasmic. Then he enters me, pulling my hips closer to the egde of the bed, using me for his pleasure. I am definately his submissive."

Wow!!

I love your story and your raising of this question!

I love to eat my girlfriend's cunt, and she loves it too. It didn't start out this way, however.

When we first got together, I wanted to eat her pussy and we tried it, but she was too uptight to allow herself to relax completely and get into it. For 5 or 6 months I struggled with what to do, since I really wanted to lick her and make her cum this way. She knew I wanted to do it, but it just took a good 5 or 6 months till she finally was relaxed enough. She took a shower one time and I went down on her without any prior discssion and I made her cum that way. We were both pleasantly surprised. I realized then, that although she was blowing me regularly (sometimes several times a day), and I was loving it, for her to sufficiently relax and 'let herself go" required me seizing the initiative, telling her I was going to to eat her, forcing her legs apart, and holding them apart while I ate her, and then as soon as she cums, i ram her hard from behind like a wild dog. After we finally did this for the first time, she realized she didn't have to be so uptight about being vulnerable. And i think this may be the nub of the matter, so to speak. When a man us licking a lady's cunt, she has to feel okay about him in her cunt, face to cunt, and she probably gets to this pont only after having a few relationships and getting comfortable with who she is sexually.

What do you think?

 

[TeachMeSir]

.....

 

[bustyblondebombshell]

.....Now the ones that obviously enjoyed it, those that incorporated technique, obvious appreciation for the taste as well as getting off on the power they had over my orgasm... they are the guys who I would willing submit to!

Amen.

 

[Marquis]

Don't take this the wrong way M, but isn't there a racial bias in the black community about eating pussy in general?

Oh gosh, am I a racial stereotype?

I would say that oral sex in general does seem to be more taboo in the black community, yes.

 

[petes478]

teachmesir thread

Teachmesir said " have friends who are worried about how they "smell" or "taste" or whatever & they can't relax enough to enjoy it, or they won't even entertain the idea. I personally don't let this bother me (unless I've been eating asparagus... then I worry).

I have had some guys who have done it, they did it well but I wasn't sure they REALLY enjoyed it. And others who seemed to enjoy it but had no technique. Now the ones that obviously enjoyed it, those that incorporated technique, obviouls appreciation for the taste as well as getting off on the power they had over my orgasm... they are the guys who I would willing submit to!"

I'm with you baby!

When I'm with my girlfriend, I'm so into her, making her cum, that I get off just by eating her. My dick grows harder and harder just by licking her, and so when she cums, and I know it's because of my tongue on her clit, its an incredible turn on. She told me that after she cums, she wants to be fucked really hard, rough, fast, etc, so I'll usually put her on all fours and fuck her hard that way. She told me she can feel me the best doggy-style. She grasps hold of the sheets and moans so loudly as I fuck her this way, it's a huge turn on to me. her whole hang up about me giving her oral in the first place was that she was afraid i wouldn't like her scent, or think she was dirty. It was a real obstacle for me. Cause i really wanted to do this for her. Sometimes when I start to makeout with her, she'll go for my dick and start to suck me off, and I'm always soo on the verge, that if i don't pull away immdeiately, then I'll come real quick. I like to wait and cum after I've made her cum first. But sometimes.....well, it feels so good to have her mouth on my head and saft, her perfumed hair all around by mid-section, well...its tempting to just shoot my first load in her mouth. But since i'm her master, I like to remain firmly in control. I'll hold her head sometimes, and keep her on my dick when she has my whole nine inches in her mouth, and I'll have to say, "baby, stop-I'm going to lick you and make you cum and then I'll ram you so hard it will hurt!".

Thursday night she climbed up on top of me and used my dick like a dildo, playing with the head of my dick on her lclit, moving up and down for 15 minutes, bringing herself close to orgasm, just by rubbing my monstrous purple mushroom head against her little clit, and this really turned me on to! I was dropping pre-cum droplets as she moved her clit on my head, and each time she moaned in ecstasy, it made me practically cum right then!

The girl drives me crazy!

 

[Inconsequential]

I dont think there is a racial stereotype at all. I've met lots of "brothas" that have gotten hardcore into oral, just to hear the woman get off.
And then there are those that of course get into oral on themselves just to see if a woman can take all their length and girth into their mouth. But that's different I think.
I haven't noticed any racial bias one way or the other.

 

[HottieMama]

When I was in my teens/early 20's I dated primarily black men. None of them ever went down on me. Then again, a lot of the white men I dated (back then) weren't too "into it" either, but they would at least try.

I have often said that you can tell alot about how good a man or woman is at eating pussy by how they kiss/make out. Anyone else agree? Disagree?

 

[WriterDom]

Found a poll. It is over 20 years old though.

Belcastro 1985; 565 undergrads, B and W

35% black men - cunnilingus in past year
72% white men "
48% black women - fellatio
82% white women "

 

[Caitlynne]

Found a poll. It is over 20 years old though.

Belcastro 1985; 565 undergrads, B and W

35% black men - cunnilingus in past year
72% white men "
48% black women - fellatio
82% white women "

Was there any other data along with those numbers? I ask, because I'm curious as to what kinds of cultural influences exist between the white community and the black community in this regard. Those are some big discrepancies even if the raw data is old.

Edited to add: My own opinion on this is that people confuse Top/bottom activities with D/s activities. I've known tops who would never give oral sex, but I know dozens of Dominants who if they are into it, don't give a rats ass if it's viewed by tops as a bottom only activity. They like it and they do it. In fact, I can do without it, and it's a bit of an edge scene if I have to do it [receive it]. That's not being on Top by any stretch of the imagination.

Additionally, I've never confused myself as being the Dominant or Top whenever I've been given oral. Hard to think of yourself as in control when your tied up and can't do anything to stop the oral. Or you're told to hold a position while you're shaved and then given oral. I can think of dozens of scenarios where, believe me, I knew I was on the bottom and had no control while oral was done upon my body. It's not the act per se, it's the way it's done or set up.

And truth be told, I feel more powerful when I'm the one giving the oral that more submissive. [but that can be a short lived notion as well] When I'm giving a man oral I'm in more control over his pleasure and orgasm. Or so the theory goes in my head when I think about it. LOL

I wonder sometimes if some of this doesn't go back to the original gay leather designations for top/bottom activities. Where whoever is giving oral is the bottom and whoever receives it is on Top.

 

[Marquis]

So 25% of us will be in the penal system at some point but only 35% of us give head.

This makes sense to me actually.