Order, Structure and Control

[lark sparrow]

Re: Lark Sparrow?

There have been a few posts that make me think of an article I once read

"Everything I Learned about Domination I Learned from my Dog" by Kemanorel 1997.

The essay is a terrific slant on training as written by a Domme. Here is a link that may or may not work!



http://www.castlerealm.com/library/keman.shtml

Thanks, Miss T. Enjoyable read, nods nods nods... Dogs do know a thing or two about D/s!

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Lark Sparrow?

There have been a few posts that make me think of an article I once read

"Everything I Learned about Domination I Learned from my Dog" by Kemanorel 1997.

The essay is a terrific slant on training as written by a Domme. Here is a link that may or may not work!



http://www.castlerealm.com/library/keman.shtml

I love Castlerealm. I read this once before, and I just had to read it again.

The analogy holds up after all this time. I especially agree with the first statement about knowing what you want.

I say it a lot but choosing a submissve carefully will save you lots of grief later on.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Back to the original post ....

R has just copied the ritual and printed it out.

I am to learn the positions. I have just under two weeks to master them. W/we are going away for a couple of days and I will be able to live 24/7 properly for that weekend!

I am sure you will enjoy the experience Willow.

Give my best to R.

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: Re: Back to the original post ....

I am sure you will enjoy the experience Willow.

Give my best to R.

I sure I will too

And thank-you Eb, I will pass on the message.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Back to the original post ....

I sure I will too

And thank-you Eb, I will pass on the message.

Maybe he will name a stroke after me. LOL

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Back to the original post ....

Maybe he will name a stroke after me. LOL

*passing messages on like a good submissive*


He would be honoured to name a stroke after You.
The Ebony stroke ...


Would You want the stroke to be soft and gentle?
Or otherwise?



(Now just almost dreading the reply ... though it is probably a win/win situations for me )

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Back to the original post ....

I will leave the stroke to R's discretion. I am sure he will fit the stroke to the occasion.

*passing messages on like a good submissive*


He would be honoured to name a stroke after You.
The Ebony stroke ...


Would You want the stroke to be soft and gentle?
Or otherwise?



(Now just almost dreading the reply ... though it is probably a win/win situations for me )

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Back to the original post ....

R has just copied the ritual and printed it out.

I am to learn the positions. I have just under two weeks to master them. W/we are going away for a couple of days and I will be able to live 24/7 properly for that weekend!

That sounds like great fun.



I am flattered that the post was relevant enough to be copied and even used in real time

Now, a few more thoughts for Him concerning structure.

Perhaps, you should not be allowed to cross your legs?
Perhaps, you should address Him as Sir for the entire weekend?
Perhaps, your demeanor should never show frustration, aggravation or annoyance...no matter how you feel.
Perhaps, you should always ask permission to cum and thank Him for every orgasm and every punishment inflicted. Even, one spank at a time?
Perhaps, your eyes should be lowered throughout the weekend, never meeting His, unless He has given you permission to speak freely?
Perhaps, you should not be allowed to begin eating a meal without his nod of consent?

These all sound like little things, but when thrown into the entire picture, they all contribute to structure.

Any other suggestions for willowpuss' weekend?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Back to the original post ....

Piggy backing...


Perhaps Willow should not eat anything that her Master does not feed her.

It is kind of a reinforcement of all that is good comes from Master.

That sounds like great fun.



I am flattered that the post was relevant enough to be copied and even used in real time

Now, a few more thoughts for Him concerning structure.

Perhaps, you should not be allowed to cross your legs?
Perhaps, you should address Him as Sir for the entire weekend?
Perhaps, your demeanor should never show frustration, aggravation or annoyance...no matter how you feel.
Perhaps, you should always ask permission to cum and thank Him for every orgasm and every punishment inflicted. Even, one spank at a time?
Perhaps, your eyes should be lowered throughout the weekend, never meeting His, unless He has given you permission to speak freely?
Perhaps, you should not be allowed to begin eating a meal without his nod of consent?

These all sound like little things, but when thrown into the entire picture, they all contribute to structure.

Any other suggestions for willowpuss' weekend?

 

[bunny bondage]

this might sound wierd but .....how about asking permission to go to the restroom? just a suggestion! ^_^

 

[MissTaken]

That's not weird, bunny.

In this context, a submissive must ask permission for most every little thing.

Oh, and I forgot, she should also always be sure to sit in a way that she is positioned lower than he.

 

[Shadowsdream]

this might sound wierd but .....how about asking permission to go to the restroom? just a suggestion! ^_^

Not weird at all...simply a given!

 

[WillowPuss]

Thank you all.

Funny thing - this was the first thread that He read this morning. Smiles were playing about his face at certain posts or comments, but as W/we read at different speeds, I have no idea which He was reading when!

Miss T - many of the things you suggested are already a given .


I never cross my legs. When we are alone, I have to sit with legs slightly parted ... just for ease of access if He so desires.

Again, when alone or cannot be overheard, I always call Him Master.

I have to ask for permission to cum now, but, I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be a fair bit of edge training over the time we are away. He does so enjoy hearing me gasp and pant and whimper - like yesterday (I will ask if I might share what happened yesterday).


Eb - I think the piggy-backing might be tried when we are not eating out. And as for the stroke ... well, I wish Your name didn't end in 'fire' He said that He was sure He would find something appropriate.

bb, Shadowsdream - I have a feeling this will happen; except that He commented that He had no wish to be woken at night if He was asleep.
(And, as last time we were away, alone, together, W/we attempted golden showers ... )


Ohhhhh goodness, another ten days to go.


Ohhhhhhhhh - waitasec!
Maybe some of these posts ought to be moved onto the Mind Games thread?
With Y/you all kindly making suggestions and Him making 'hmmmmmmm' type sounds and smiling .... *big sigh*

 

[Pleasurekitten]

As this is only the beginning for me in this type of relationship i have a need for structure and order in all things that he wants. Luckily he sees it the same way.

The excerpt in MissTaken's original post sounds exactly the type of behaviour i would like to learn and become accustomed to but would not be feasible in the presence of children. Have to wait some years for that *sigh* or just wait until we are in private.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Fire = Hot, hot, hot

Oh boy, a hot stroke named after Me! Enjoy, Willow!

Thank you all.

Funny thing - this was the first thread that He read this morning. Smiles were playing about his face at certain posts or comments, but as W/we read at different speeds, I have no idea which He was reading when!

Miss T - many of the things you suggested are already a given .


I never cross my legs. When we are alone, I have to sit with legs slightly parted ... just for ease of access if He so desires.

Again, when alone or cannot be overheard, I always call Him Master.

I have to ask for permission to cum now, but, I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be a fair bit of edge training over the time we are away. He does so enjoy hearing me gasp and pant and whimper - like yesterday (I will ask if I might share what happened yesterday).


Eb - I think the piggy-backing might be tried when we are not eating out. And as for the stroke ... well, I wish Your name didn't end in 'fire' He said that He was sure He would find something appropriate.

bb, Shadowsdream - I have a feeling this will happen; except that He commented that He had no wish to be woken at night if He was asleep.
(And, as last time we were away, alone, together, W/we attempted golden showers ... )


Ohhhhh goodness, another ten days to go.


Ohhhhhhhhh - waitasec!
Maybe some of these posts ought to be moved onto the Mind Games thread?
With Y/you all kindly making suggestions and Him making 'hmmmmmmm' type sounds and smiling .... *big sigh*

 

[Peter2002]

Rituals: the importance and nature of

As Miss T notes at the begining of this thread nothing helps define the nature of a relationship like a strong sense of ritual. While I've certainly employed more structured scenerios like the one described at the top, more "casual" and seemingly spontaneous ones can be quite effective. For example "S"knows that before we meet for lunch every week she'll be spanked. That way when we sit eating our lunch we have a secret to share. Over lunch I'll discuss my plans for her discipline that afternoon. It's open ended and creative, but nevertheless structured. Any thoughts or similar experiences from others?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Rituals: the importance and nature of

<snip> Any thoughts or similar experiences from others?

A few spring to mind. I make sure that my sub spends some quality time on his knees, it is simple, but they all seem to relish the opportunity to kneel at My feet.

 

[exiledmaster]

I think that there are two ways of seeing this kind of approach; do you impose a structure that defines the relationship, or do you have a whole set of structures for different types of occasions and places?
An example of the first type was a very jolly relationship i had withan older woman who simply could not come without being spanked, and wasn't interested in any power games or teasing; just a thorough, slightly brutal bare arsed spanking then my using her any way I wanted for straight forward, no holes barred sex. and afterwards one of us would make a meal, and we'dsmile, and we'd part as best firends with no suggestion of any change in the way we behaved.
An example of the second type of behaviour from a previous relationship; attending a particular swingers club that was mainly couples she wouldn't be allowed to have sex with me, only women, and then only as a domme; any penetration of her would result in a serious flogging. Or insisting that on certain days she could not wear underwear or cross her legs. Or, towards the end of the relationship, an insistence that she make herself come every hour on days when I was not with her, and keep a journal of the orgasms....
I suppose there was a difference in that once we'd established the parameters of the first relationship there was no negotiation, whereas in thes econd type there was a greater degree of negotiation and planning... probably explains why i prefer the second type; I love talking dirty!!!

Lots of fun both ways though...

 

[Ebonyfire]

<snip>I suppose there was a difference in that once we'd established the parameters of the first relationship there was no negotiation, whereas in thes econd type there was a greater degree of negotiation and planning... probably explains why i prefer the second type; I love talking dirty!!!

Lots of fun both ways though...

You have brought up a good point in that negotiation is an ongoing process, if the relationship is to grow and remain interesting to both parties.

I have rules, structure, rituals, and verbal or written contracts, and they are all subject to re-negotiation when necessary.

 

[Goddess Helena]

You have brought up a good point in that negotiation is an ongoing process, if the relationship is to grow and remain interesting to both parties.

I have rules, structure, rituals, and verbal or written contracts, and they are all subject to re-negotiation when necessary.

I think re-negotiation is very important as a relationship grows and changes with time.

I did not introduce real rituals with My former boy until he was trained enough to be pleasing without having to think about it. I allowed him to read some of Shadowsdream's thread about rules and rituals and he found them to be informative and arousing. They served U/us both well.


Helena

 

[Goddess Helena]

Re: Re: Rituals: the importance and nature of

A few spring to mind. I make sure that my sub spends some quality time on his knees, it is simple, but they all seem to relish the opportunity to kneel at My feet.

What boy would not beg for the honor of being allowed to kneel Your feet, Ebony?


Helena

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Rituals: the importance and nature of

What boy would not beg for the honor of being allowed to kneel Your feet, Ebony?


Helena

I am sure there are plenty, and that is alright with Me, cause I always manage to find the boys who suit Me. I should say they manage to find Me.

That is the beauty of this lifestyle. Magic will find you if you are open to it.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Rituals: the importance and nature of

That is the beauty of this lifestyle. Magic will find you if you are open to it.

Abbracadabbra!


I just had another thought on the importance of rituals. By having a ritual by which to transition from our everyday selves to our submissive selves, it assists me to clear my mind and get in touch with that soft inner core.

A few moments on my knees and I am ready!

 

[FungiUg]

I think I'm anti-ritual. I'd hate to think that a submissive I was teasing, er, playing with had any idea of what I plan to do next. (The secret, I've found, is not to plan.)

I guess I like to experiment and try new things, so a ritual would be "same ol', same ol'" material, rather than exciting and new.

However, I've not had a long term relationship as part of D/s, so that could well make a difference.

 

[MissTaken]

Ah, for me, the ritual is the "Time to get into role" cue.

The challenge is getting through inspection!