Poetry and Lyrics

[Bill Dada]

Violent Femmes

American Music

Do you like amercan music
I like american music
don't you like american music baby
I want you to hold me
I want your arms around me
I want you to hold me baby
did you do too many drugs
I did too many drugs
did you do too many drugs too baby
you were born too late
I was born too soon
but every time I look at that ugly moon
it reminds me of you
it reminds me of you ooh ooh ooh
I need a date to the prom
would you like to come along
but nobody would go to the prom with me baby
they didn't like american music
they never heard american music
they didn't know the music was in my soul baby
you were born too soon
I was born too late
but every time I look at that ugly lake
it reminds me of me
it reminds me of me
do you like american music
we like american music
I like american music baby
do you like american music
we like all kinds of music
but I like american music best
baby you were born too late
and i was born too late
but every time I look at that ugly lake
it reminds me of me
it reminds me of me
do you like american music
it reminds me of me
do you like american music...

 

[Bill Dada]

Procol Harum

Words by
Keith Reid
The Devil came from Kansas. Where he went to I can't say
Though I teach I'm not a preacher, and I aim to stay that way
There's a monkey riding on my back, been there for some time
He says he knows me very well but he's no friend of mine

I am not a humble pilgrim
there's no need to scrape and squeeze
and don't beg for silver paper
when I'm trying to sell you cheese

The Devil came from Kansas. Where he went to I can't say
If you really are my brother then you'd better start to pray
for the sins of those departed and the ones about to go
There's a dark cloud just above us, don't tell me 'cos I know

I am not a humble pilgrim
there's no need to scrape and squeeze
and don't beg for silver paper
when I'm trying to sell you cheese

No I never came from Kansas, don't forget to thank the cook
Which reminds me of my duty: I was lost and now I look
for the turning and the signpost and the road which takes you down
to that pool inside the forest in whose waters I shall drown

I am not a humble pilgrim
there's no need to scrape and squeeze
and don't beg for silver paper
when I'm trying to sell you cheese

 

[Bill Dada]

Honky Tonk Masquerade
© 1977 Joe Ely
ERE/EMI/April


You sure look fine tonight, in the beer sign light.
Why did you seem surprised when I saw through your disguise.
All your friends were there and no one had a care.
They all just looked away in this Honky Tonk Masquerade.

You should have known I knew all along.
That I could see through you right or wrong.
I didn't need a clue.
I didn't even have to ask,
You saw your own reflection in the glass.

I'd like to see you home, but I know you're not alone
You seem to fit right in, as you tell me where you've been
You say there's not that much to tell but I know you oh too well
Your eyes give you away in this Honky Tonk Masquerade.

You should have known I knew all along.
That I could see through you right or wrong.
I didn't need a clue.
I didn't even have to ask,
You saw your own reflection in the glass.

You sure look fine tonight, they're turning out the lights
Why did you hold my sleeve when I said I had to leave
I hoped it never showed, but that's the way it goes.
As the lights begin to fade on this Honky Tonk Masquerade.

 

[Bill Dada]

For Your Love


Music and Lyrics by Joe Ely


For your love I'd rope the moon
Put it in a blender
Mix up a concoction bound to make you surrender
I'd bite the brand off a buckin' Brahma Bull
I'd rob me a gin mill
Then I'd fill the ocean full

I'd take on the Army
And the Her Majesty's Marines
Your love ain't just the cover
It's the whole Magazine!


For your love I'd stop a freight train
Single-handed.
I would straighten out the bends in the Rio Grande
I'd climb up the tower at the T.V.station
Broadcast my affection to the United Nations

I'd take on the Government
In Washington D
Your love ain't just the en-jine
It's a rockin' machine!

For Your Love...I'd stop the hands of time
For Your Love...I'd dig a diamond mine
For Your Love...I'd do it all the time

For your love I'd walk a tight rope
Wrestle Anacondas
Jump a motorcyle over half-a-dozen Hondas
Carve your initials on a forest of bamboo
Paint the Brooklyn Bridge, baby, pink with a broom

I'd take on the press
From Tokyo to Pravda
Your love ain't just the hot sauce
It's the whole enchalada

For Your Love...I'd stop the hands of time
For Your Love...I'd dig a diamond mine
For Your Love...I'd do it all the time

 

[Bill Dada]

Whenever Kindness Fails

(Robert Earl Keen, Jr.)

Verse 1:


Crossed the desert in a dining car
In the spring of '91
Met some people drinkin' at the bar,
They were laughin', havin' fun

Told 'em that I hadn't heard the joke
That was so hilarious
They said that I was just a dumb cowpoke
I didn't want to make a fuss


Chorus:
So I shot them down, one by one
And left them 'long the rails
I only use my gun
Whenever kindness fails


Verse 2:

Moon was in the sign of Scorpio
The sun was at my back
I didn't know how far the train would go
Till the law would find my track

Saw the brakeman and the engineer
Drinking wine and eating brie
I asked them who would brake and who would steer
They started pointing back at me

Chorus
So I shot them down, one by one
And left them 'long the rails
I only use my gun
Whenever kindness fails



Verse 3:

I only have a momment to explain
Just a chance to let you know
When it's time to board that train
There are 2 ways you can go.

You can ride the wind into the sun
Feel a cool wind on your face
Or you can laugh into a loaded gun
And you'll likely lose your place

Chorus:
Yeah I shot them down, one by one
And left them 'long the rails
I only use my gun
Whenever kindness fails

I shot them down, one by one
And left them 'long the rails
When I use my gun
That lonesome whistle wails

 

[unapologetic]

Put Down The Duckie

Put Down The Duckie
Words by Norman Stiles
Music by Christopher Cerf
sung by Ernie (Jim Henson) and Hoots the Owl (Kevin Clash)

Ernie: Excuse me, Mr. Hoots
I hate to bug a busy bird
But I want to learn the sax
And I need a helpful word
I always get a silly squeak
When I play the blues

Hoots: Ernie, keep your cool
I'll teach ya how to blow the sax
I think I dig your problem
It's rubber, and it quacks
You'll never find the skill you seek
Till you pay your dues

You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!

You didn't hear a word I said
You gotta get it through your head
Don't be a stubborn cluck
Ernie, lay aside the duck!
I've learned a thing or two
From years of playing in a band
It's hard to play a saxophone
With something in your hand
To be a fine musician
You're gonna have to face the facts

Though you're blessed with flying fingers
When you wanna wail, you're stuck
What good are flying fingers
If they're wrapped around a duck?
Change the toy's position
If you wanna ace the sax!

You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!

Don't have to put it on a train
Don't have to wash it down the drain
Don't have to lock it in a drawer
Don't have to shove it out the door
Don't have to stuff it in your pocket
Or send it flyin' in a rocket!
Don't have to get it out of town!
Ernie, put the quacker down!

You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!

You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone
You gotta put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
Put down the duckie
If you wanna play the saxophone!

 

[RhymeFairy]

Artist : Kenny Chesney
sONG: Me and You


Ordinary no, really don't think so
Not a love this true
Common destiny
We were meant to be
Me and you

Like a perfect scene from a movie screen
Where every dream comes true
Suited perfectly for eternity
Me and you

Every day, i need you even more
At the nighttime too
There's no way
I could ever let you go
Even if i wanted to

Every day i live
I try my best to give
All i have to you
I thank the stars above
That we share this love me and you

Every day, i need you even more
At the nighttime too
There's no way
I could ever let you go
Even if i wanted to

Ordinary no, i really don't think so
Just a precious few
Ever make it last
Get as lucky as
Me and you
Me and you





a song from the heart, that speaks volumes.
I know not a lotta imagery in these words.
( sorry Boo, could not help myself. Please forgive )

BUT ... feel it and live ....





...

 

[MsBug]

The Killing Moon
Echo & The Bunnymen


Under blue moon I saw you
So soon you'll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

In starlit nights I saw you
So cruelly you kissed me
Your lips a magic world
Your sky all hung with jewels
The killing moon
Will come too soon

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

Under blue moon I saw you
So soon youll take me
Up in your arms
Too late to beg you or cancel it
Though I know it must be the killing time
Unwillingly mine

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him
You give yourself to him

La la la la la...

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

La la la la la...

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

Fate
Up against your will
Through the thick and thin
He will wait until
You give yourself to him

La la la la la...

 

[unapologetic]

Kathleen/Josh Ritter

all the other girls here are stars—you are the Northern Lights
they try to shine in through your curtains—you’re too close and too bright
they try and they try but everything that they do
is the ghost of a trace of a pale imitation of you
I’ll be the one to drive you back home Kathleen
this party is made with the night air and the chance that a smile
will wind its way from your face to one of the boys in your line
you act like you’re hip to their tricks and you’re strong
but a virgin Wurlitzer heart never once had a song
I’ll be the one to drive you back home Kathleen
and I’ll have you back by break of day
I’m going your way anyway
and if you’d like to come along
I’ll be yours for a song
I know you are waiting and I know that it is not for me
but I’m here and I’m ready and I’ve saved you the passenger seat
I won’t be your last dance just your last goodnight
every heart is a package tangled up in knots someone else tied
I’ll be the one to drive you back home Kathleen
so crawl up your trellis and quietly back into your room
and I’ll coast down the length of your drive by the light of the moon
and the next time I see you—a new kind of hello
both our hearts have a secret only both of us know
‘bout the night that I drove you back home Kathleen
_______________________________________________

The line that really gets me is the first one. Wow.

 

[RhymeFairy]

Artist/Band: Bentley Dierks
Lyrics for Song: Long Trip Alone
Lyrics for Album: Long Trip Alone


It's a long trip alone over sand and stone
That lie along the road that we all must travel down

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold
'Cause it's a long trip alone

It's a short piece of time but just enough to find
A little peace of mind under the sun somewhere

So maybe you could walk with me a while
And maybe I could rest beneath your smile
You know we can't afford to let one moment pass us by
'Cause it's a short piece of time

And I don't know where I'd be without you here
'Cause I'm not really me without you there

Yea Yeah
Hallelujah hallelujah oh

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold

So maybe you could walk with me a while
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile
Maybe I could feel right beside you 'til I'm home
'Cause it's a long trip alone

 

[RhymeFairy]

Macy Grey
I Try


Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together, babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
Deny

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (sick of love)
My world crumbles when you are not near (your love, kisses and)

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not there, yeah, yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah..

 

[TheRainMan]

Rain Street Shane MacGowan

The church bell rings,
an old drunk sings,
a young girl hocks her wedding rings
down on Rain Street.

Down the alley the icewagon flew,
picked up a stiff that was turning blue.
The local kids were sniffin' glue.
There ain’t much else for kids to do
down on Rain Street.

Father McGreer buys an ice cold beer
and a short for Father Loyola.
Father John's got the clap again,
he's drinking Coca-Cola
down on Rain Street.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I got pissed and I got pinned
and God can't help the state I'm in
down on Rain Street.

There's a Tesco on the sacred ground
where I pulled her knickers down
while Judas took his measly price
and St. Anthony gazed in awe at Christ
down on Rain Street.

I gave my love a goodnight kiss.
I tried to take a late night piss
but the toiled moved, so again I missed
down on Rain Street.

I sat on the floor and watched TV,
thanking Christ for the BBC.
A stupid, fucking place to be,
down on Rain Street.

I took my Eileen by the hand.
Walk with me was her command.
I dreamt we were walking on the strand
down on Rain Street.

That night, Rain Street went on for miles.
That night on Rain Street, somebody smiled.

 

[tungtied2u]

Comin' Round Again

Carly Simon

Baby sneezes
Mummy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
But so bewildering

(chorus)
I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart

You pay the grocer
Fix the toaster
Kiss the host Good-bye
Then you break a window
burn the Souffle?
Scream the lullaby

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart

And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I'm so in love with you

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It will be coming around again

 

[darkerdreamer]

I know a lot of people have a bias against rap and hip-hop, but this is pure street poetry to me.

Friend or Foe by (Multiple Bay Area Rappers) (edited for length)

I'm thinking about hard times,
Freein' my mind,
Who in the fuck
Gonna be my crutch?
Holding me up
Helping me out,
Making sure that I stay in touch.
Where do I sleep?
Who do I turn to
When I be low on my cash?
Who am I down with
When fifty niggers be talking about kickin' my ass?
Who is my friend?
Who is my foe?
Who do I ask,
When I want to know
Something about something
Where I don't know nothing,
My ignorance keeping me out in the cold.
Who do I call
When I'm in need of a ride
In somebody else's car?
How do I get from point A to B
If B is just too far?
Where can I get a loan?
Where can I use the phone?
Who's going to give me the permission
To make a decision
To come up within they house and live?
When will I drive a Beamer?
Take my clothes to the cleaner?
How can I know?
Will I forever be paying my dues?
Will I forever be singing the blues?
Where will I find a shoulder
When I be wanting to lean?
(know what I mean?)
When I be needing some justification
Stuck in the fucking same location.
Who is the friend that's helping me?
Who is the buster that's hurting me?
Who can I trust?
Will you be there when the going is tough?
Will I be hanging with Dick in the dust?

 

[RhymeFairy]

ya'll have to forgive me, I'm on Kavanaugh kick and lov'in it. An awesome, inspirational poet. If you have time, do a lil research. His words oft speek, as I feel and see. From wittty, charm to love, politics and ... well just everything.

just me ~

..

I Don't Know When

I don't know when it was
Your touch became like mine
To touch -to taste-to see,
And when I saw your face,
I somehow saw my own!
Nor do I know when it was
Your flesh became alien
To touch-to taste-to see,
And when I saw your face,
I somehow saw a stranger!


~~ James Kavanaugh

 

[darkerdreamer]

Ghetto World by Various (Rompilation) [edited for length]

'Cause in the 90s,
The ghetto, ain't changed.
Same dope, same folks
With different names.
Different gangs, different slang
New guns.
Ain't nothing new though
Under this old sun.
Same sad story, same sad villains.
Black on black theft, black on black killin'.
So and so and so, shot such and such,
Two can rest in peace,
But three can keep in touch.
'Cause summer after summer
They'll bring another number
I wonder,
When will all this drama end?
I can't tell,
Cuz in Vallejo, and all ov'
Niggers get smoked like dope.

A woman's about to have a little PSB,
Getting free money from the GOV.
Waiting on the Section 8 so we can vacate
Trying to figure out why these folks put me in jail
But they give me dope to sell.
It's capitalism,
And I'm stacking my isms,
And I'll just be another black in the prisons,
Cause I don't want little PSB to be a have-not
So I rob and mob with globs of this crack rock.

 

[Angeline]

Daddy, You've Been on My Mind
Joan Baez

Perhaps its the color of the sun cut flat
And covering the crossroad I'm standing at
Or maybe its the weather or something like that
But Daddy, you've been on my mind

I don't mean trouble, please don't put me down or get upset
I am not pleading or saying I can't forget
I do not walk the floor bowed down and bent, but yet
Daddy, you've been on my mind

Even though my mind is hazy and my thoughts they might be narrow
Where you been don't bother me or bring me down in sorrow
It don't even matter to me where you're waking up tomorrow
Daddy, you've just been on my mind

I am not asking you to say words like yes and no
Please understand me, I got no place for you to go
I'm just breathing to myself pretending not that I don't know
Daddy, you've been on my mind

When you wake up in the morning, baby, look inside your mirror
You know I won't be next to you, you know I won't be near
I'd just be curious to know If you can see yourself as clear
As someone who has had you on her mind

 

[tungtied2u]

Always on My Mind

Willie Nelson

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine

If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm so sorry I was blind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

 

[darkerdreamer]

The General by Dispatch

There was a decorated General with a heart of gold
That likened him to all the stories he told
Of past battles won and lost and legends of old,
A seasoned veteran in his own time.
On the battlefield he gained respectful fame
With many medals of bravery and stripes to his name.
He grew a beard as soon as he could to cover the scars on his face
And always urged his men on.
But on the eve of great battle with the infantry, a dream,
The old general tossed in his sleep and wrestled with its meaning.
He awoke from that night to tell what he had seen
And walked slowly out of his tent.
All the men held tall with their chests in the air
With the courage in their blood and a fire in their stare
And it was a gray morning
And they all wondered how they would fair

Till the old general told them to go home.

He said,
I have seen the others
And I have discovered
That this fight is not worth fighting.
And I've seen their mothers
And I will no others
To follow me where I'm going.

So, take your shower,
Shine your shoes.
You got no time to lose.
You are young men you
Must be living.
Go now you are forgiven.

But the men stood fast with their guns on their shoulders
Not knowing what to do with the contradicting orders.
The old general said he would do his own duty
But he would extend it no further,
The men could go as they pleased.
But not a man moved,
Their eyes gazed straight ahead
Till one by one they stepped back and not a word was said
And the old general was left with his own words echoing in his head

He then prepared to fight.

He said,
I have seen the others
And I have discovered
That this fight is not worth fighting.
And I've seen their mothers
And I will no other
To follow me where I'm going.

So, take your shower,
Shine your shoes.
You got no time to lose.
You are young men you must be living.

Go now you are forgiven.

 

[RhymeFairy]

DON WILLIAMS :

I Believe In Love


I don't believe in superstars
Organic food and foreign cars
I don't believe the price of gold
The certainty of growing old
That right is right and left is wrong
That north and south can't get along
That east is east and west is west
And bein' first is always best.

But I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you.

Well, I dont believe that heaven waits
For only those who congregate
I'd like to think of God as love
He's down below
He's up above
He's watchin' people everywhere
He knows who does and doesn't care
And I'm an ordinary man
Sometimes I wonder who I am.

But I believe in love
I believe in music
I believe in magic
And I believe in you.

I know with all my certainty
What's goin' on with you and me
Is a good thing
It's true
I believe in you.

I dont believe virginity
Is as common as it used be
In workin' days and sleepin' nights
That black is black and white is white
That Superman and Robinhood
Are still alive in Hollywood
That gasoline's in short supply
The risin' cost of gettin' by

But I believe in love
I believe in old folks
I believe in children
I believe in you.

I believe in love
I believe in babies
I believe in mom and dad
And I believe in you.

 

[unapologetic]

You Don't Know Me (most famously performed by Ray Charles)

You give your hand to me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)
No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know me.
(no you don't know me)
For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(For I never knew the art of making love, )
(Though my heart aches with love for you. )
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.
(love me too)
Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me
(you don't love me, you don't know me)

 

[annaswirls]

Kt Tunstall

okay maybe it is poppy but I love this song

[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

Suddenly I See
Kt Tunstall

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on a word


Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me x2

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower

She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see
Yea Yea
Suddenly I see x5

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

 

[Tathagata]

DROPKICK MURPHYS LYRICS

"Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced"

I play in a band, we're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see

[Chorus:]
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown
in the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid

[Chorus]

I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game

[Chorus x2]

Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting?

I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on, honey, let me take you home

[Chorus x4]

 

[unapologetic]

I'm an Asshole/Dennis Leary

Not the greatest of songs or poems, but in the spirit of the day, and as an answer to the Dropkick Murphys lyrics, here's another Irish Bostonian:

I'm an Asshole/Dennis Leary

Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
An all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to Texas
And-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

*dog barking noises*

I'm an asshole and proud of it!

 

[MsBug]

Coin-Operated Boy
by The Dresden Dolls


Coin operated boy
Sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
But I turn him on and he comes to life
Automatic joy
That is why I want a coin operated boy

Made of plastic and elastic
He is rugged and long-lasting
Who could ever ever ask for more
Love without complications galore
Many shapes and weights to choose from
I will never leave my bedroom
I will never cry at night again
Wrap my arms around him and pretend....

Coin operated boy
All the other real ones that I destroy
Cannot hold a candle to my new boy and I'll
Never let him go and I'll never be alone [x2]
Not with my coin operated boy......

This bridge was written to make you feel smittener
With my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
I didn't think so but I'm still convincible
Will you persist even after I bet you
A billion dollars that I'll never love you
Will you persist even after I kiss you
Goodbye for the last time
Will you keep on trying to prove it?
I'm dying to lose it...
I'm losing... my confidence
I want it
I want you
I want a coin operated boy.

And if I had a star to wish on
For my life I cant imagine
Any flesh and blood could be his match
I can even take him in the bath

Coin operated boy
He may not be real experienced with girls
But I know he feels like a boy should feel
Isn't that the point that is why I want a
Coin operated boy
With his pretty coin operated voice
Saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
Straight and to the point
That is why I want
A coin operated boy.