Poetry Workshop, February 2011: Glosa

[GuiltyPleasure]

that's lovely ..... should that be 'hale and hearty'?

.....AND I forgot to mention the original. It's -

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand
And I half turn to go yet turning stay
Longfellow

 

[butters]

.....AND I forgot to mention the original. It's -

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land
When you can no more hold me by the hand
And I half turn to go yet turning stay
Longfellow

but it was sweetly done, T - like a sigh... that last line is a gift to work with, isn't it, and the others aren't too shabby either!

 

[butters]

*bangs head on desk*

bang it on the keyboard and you'll get a cute likkle qwerty pattern on your forehead

*giggles into my coffee*

 

[CharleyH]

It Could Be Worse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
..They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
..And add some extra, just for you.
—Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse"

It happens quite unconsciously;
..It's not because you've made them mad.
It's natural, how unctuously
..They fuck you up. Your mum and dad

Try to be kind (it never works)—
..They just end up indulging you
And raise a horde of spoiled jerks.
..They may not mean to, but they do.

It's why your brother's how he is,
..I mean, an asshole of a lad,
But you're one too. Your parents' kiss
..Has filled you with the faults they had.

Relax. We all are made this way
..Quite shortly after our debut.
Their flaws make up your dossier
..With some few extra, just for you.


.

I might take issue with the last line, but otherwise, WOW. Panties down! This is a fantastic add to the challenge, Tzara. Fabulous poem.

 

[Liar]

bang it on the keyboard and you'll get a cute likkle qwerty pattern on your forehead

I will also get a better poem than my glosa attempts so far.

adrhbn

See?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I will also get a better poem than my glosa attempts so far.

adrhbn

See?

never mind I'm sure chippy will be along soon to critique it

 

[butters]

never mind I'm sure chippy will be along soon to critique it

well, let me see....

it's certainly short, but i'm left a little puzzled. in this instance, perhaps less isn't more?


howzat?
*checks for googlies*

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I've been absent from the thread for longer than I had anticipated, but I am having a tremendous time reading all the participations. I will return shortly with my feedback.

 

[CharleyH]

Just a bump to the first page to better illustrate a thread a want to post.