Poll: Pre-Marital Sex

[BlackSnake]

You better fuck all you can now, else you end up like the skit of the two men sitting on the beach. "If I knew I was going to live this long...I would have taken better care of myself."

 

[Dirty Slut]

My father alwasy said...

If a marriage works, only 5% of the reason it works is because of sex. However, if a marriage doesn't work, it's because 95% of the problem is related to sex. LOL

DS

 

[BlackSnake]

Re: My father alwasy said...

If a marriage works, only 5% of the reason it works is because of sex. However, if a marriage doesn't work, it's because 95% of the problem is related to sex. LOL

DS

I think his statistics are correct.

 

[Linbido]

What destinie said

Post or pre? I'll take whichever gets me some tonight.

 

[Medieval-Man]

Would you really want to marry a woman that has never been touched? If she could hold out before marriage, think how long she could hold out after marriage.

'Never said I was sure I wanted to marry Rachel, I just said I wouldn't have sex with her unless we were married.

Mischeviously,
-Medi

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Seriously, Medi - WHY???

Since waiting won't make it better, only worse - WHY are you waiting? I'm not being sarcastic here, nor am I trying to talk down to you, I just don't understand your way of reasoning?

 

[Guest]

'Never said I was sure I wanted to marry Rachel, I just said I wouldn't have sex with her unless we were married.

Mischeviously,
-Medi

But what about other women? Is that allowed? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

Lou

 

[destinie21]

Despite my previous post, I have to say as a closet romantic I could understand why one would choose to wait for marriage to have sex. Assuming the marriage or any such union is based on love that is. Sometimes I wish that K was the only person I'd ever been with sexually just because in my own mind I can see the beauty of sharing myself only with her. However that is not to say I'd trade my experiences with past partners, they helped to shape me. For me love and lovemaking are intertwined while sex and love have no such ties

 

[Guest]

... Sometimes I wish that K was the only person I'd ever been with sexually just because in my own mind I can see the beauty of sharing myself only with her. ...

Dest, I understand your 'romantic idealism', but I have to say those notions were put out there, rather insidiously, some centuries ago with the institutionalization of marriage and Love. We might try to fix it for ourselves (I don't personally), but it's difficult to extract the possessiveness of marriage from what one does with one's own body.

Many men (and patriarchal institutions) still want an intact pussy and the owner's belief that only his dick has rights to it. That's what 'saving' one's self for marriage is based on, no matter how romantically or spiritually people make it out for themselves.

Chastity originally had more to do with one's character and grace than with sex or a carnal life; now it's been degraded to tightly locked thighs and a false sense of self and one's other.

bemusedly, Perdita

 

[destinie21]

Dest, I understand your 'romantic idealism', but I have to say those notions were put out there, rather insidiously, some centuries ago with the institutionalization of marriage and Love. We might try to fix it for ourselves (I don't personally), but it's difficult to extract the possessiveness of marriage from what one does with one's own body.


bemusedly, Perdita

Dita,
As always you make me smile. You pegged it right by calling what I stated romantic realism. I understand the roots of said chastity
"Who can find a virtuous woman" and so on. Like much of the idealism in my world it has little to do with who I actually am. whilst the sentiments are there I also know that is not the person I am, and while I'm inclined to romantic propaganda I am to much of a realist to actually accept this inclination for anymore than it is. Romance and love aren't really interconnected either. In my opinion love is not patient or kind or anything else synonoumous with those terms, love is a day to day struggle to submit without subjugating. Also the realization that submission and subjugation are entirely different. (at least to me)
That said I'm struggling to convince myself that there must be benedictions under the skin of the indictments, that not all of this is about what I have lost or have abandoned. I need to be able to quantify the cost of my freedom and love with absolute honesty.

Then I need to make damn sure it was worth what I paid for it.

 

[Dirty Slut]

Love is...

As hard as love is to explain, one thing is for sure. When you love someone, truly love them, you love them as they are. It's not something that you have any control over, it's just a fact.

DS

 

[destinie21]

Re: Love is...

As hard as love is to explain, one thing is for sure. When you love someone, truly love them, you love them as they are. It's not something that you have any control over, it's just a fact.

DS

I absolutely agree that love isn't something you can control or even rationalize. However being a rational type of person I can say that while love has now affected and touched every area of my life I'm not smitten with the idea of love as I once was (before I really knew what it was to be in love I had romanticized it.) Nor am I some empty bobble headed doll prancing along to the beat of love whilst the puppet master (my heart) yanks my strings to and fro taking me from on emotional tumult to another without rhyme or reason.

 

[Octavian]

Pre-marital sex is fine so long as it doesn't make you late for the wedding.


Octavian

My Stories

 

[SlickTony]

My first husband was also the first man I had sex with. If I'd had some previous experience to compare it with, I might not have married him, for all I know.

When it's getting to be where you can hardly afford to get married until you're pushing 30, I think it's just plain unrealistic to expect people to wait that long. Besides, when premarital chastity has been pushed the hardest, it's always been understood that it was pushed hardest for women (men were expected to get experience--from somewhere.)

That reminds me, my son has signed up for a church youth retreat that is supposed to involve some kind of seminar about premarital sex (since the church is sponsoring it, presumably it's against it. I think he is aware what the program will involve--he's already seen anti-sex films at school.

At this point he's too young to have sex anyway. He's 14. That might not be too young with some 14YOs but it is for him--he's a late-blooming boy who still likes SpongeBob, and is only just getting started with the puberty thing.

Now, I don't want him to get into sex before he's ready; I don't want him to become a dog; I don't want him to catch anything; I don't want to become a grandmother on his account for at least another ten years; and I don't want him to get hurt any sooner than he has to.

But based on the pro-chastity stuff I got when I was coming up, I have my misgivings--my impression is that it doesn't really prevent young people from doing it--it prevents them from enjoying it, or using sensible precautions, when they do.

 

[Medieval-Man]

But what about other women? Is that allowed? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

Lou

Lou, as much as I'd love to play, heh, I am fairly well behaved, 100% good behavious in person... 50% online, on the basis of online playing is much less serious than in person to me then again, some of my best relationships are online, so hehe, can't judge.

-Medi

 

[Medieval-Man]

Seriously, Medi - WHY???

Since waiting won't make it better, only worse - WHY are you waiting? I'm not being sarcastic here, nor am I trying to talk down to you, I just don't understand your way of reasoning?

She wants to wait, I agree with it, I won't force her into anything, I'm not that kind of guy.

Honorably,
Medi

 

[Icingsugar]

She wants to wait, I agree with it, I won't force her into anything, I'm not that kind of guy.

Well, if that's her wish and you're man enough to respect it, then more power to you, brother.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Then I'll re-phrase the question: why does SHE want to wait?

 

[Icingsugar]

Then I'll re-phrase the question: why does SHE want to wait?

Yes, that is the real question, I believe. Not that I'd ever question a lady's intentions and greater scheme on matters of this kind.

I don't even need to consult Og on that little piece of etiquette.

But as you are a lady yourself, I guess other rules apply. So I let you ask those questions.

 

[Dirty Slut]

Waiting is like following Alice down the hole...

The waiting becomes all the more anti-climatic when the event fails to produce the required relief.

DS

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Dest, I understand your 'romantic idealism', but I have to say those notions were put out there, rather insidiously, some centuries ago with the institutionalization of marriage and Love. We might try to fix it for ourselves (I don't personally), but it's difficult to extract the possessiveness of marriage from what one does with one's own body.

Many men (and patriarchal institutions) still want an intact pussy and the owner's belief that only his dick has rights to it. That's what 'saving' one's self for marriage is based on, no matter how romantically or spiritually people make it out for themselves.

Chastity originally had more to do with one's character and grace than with sex or a carnal life; now it's been degraded to tightly locked thighs and a false sense of self and one's other.

bemusedly, Perdita

I agree with the last paragraph...I think so, any way. The first two...

Basically, our society has given way to a total lack of ideals by having far too many ideals, when few of us truly believe in any of them. Any more, belief is like fashion and everything comes down to acceptance. It's trend to do what others will like us for, whether we like them or not, and we tend to convince ourselves that we agree with them, eventhough we don't really consider what they mean.
I've neverr heard--at least not believably heard--that saving one's self for marriage has anything to do with who has rights to whose pussy. I've heard the words, seen the written down, etc. but never was a convincing argument produced for why this is believed. The idea for chastity before marriage was based, to my understanding--and I might be wrong, I'll admit--more on the same ideals that monogamy after marriage is: The behavior is distinctive to one person, therefore displaying love for that person, defining thier place in your life.
The concept there, from my perspective, is actually displayed in many areas of our society (I'm American, but I think this applies to pretty much every somewhat "globalized society"). Marriage has gotten an extremely bad reputation as of late, mostly because it ends so often in divorce, and because we're going through five or six of them in our lifetimes instead of just one. We look at marriage now and shrug. And why not? It doesn't mean much when it's not a decision we respect, and we won't respect it when our society doesn't tell us we must. And it can't tell us that, because it's caught between too many of these ideals we're supposed to believe in. To quote perdita:

"...it's difficult to extract the possessiveness of marriage from what one does with one's own body."

Marriage is (tradiationally, that is) based on monogamy, an ideal. But personal freedom, another ideal, contradicts it by telling us that it restricts "what one does with one's own body."
So now what?
No one really knows, and which we believe in tends to change with our mood. There's nothign we can do but throw propaganda and contradictions and hypocracy at one another when we discuss this, and it is hypocracy, because we may not contradict ourselves in what we say, but we never menton everything we believe.
I'm not pointing fingers at any or everyone else, because I'm no different. I am saying that there's no answer to whether or not it's a good idea to wait. That's where that personal freedom comes in; you have to choose for yourself.
Sorry, guys. I turned this into another anti-societal rant...

I do that from time to time...

I guess my point was, if the two of you wait, go ahead and wait. It's that personal freedom again: The choice is yours.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Yes, that is the real question, I believe. Not that I'd ever question a lady's intentions and greater scheme on matters of this kind.

I don't even need to consult Og on that little piece of etiquette.

But as you are a lady yourself, I guess other rules apply. So I let you ask those questions.

The first time Hubby and I met in person (after having talked on the phone or over the net for 2-3 months), the first thing I did when I got him home to my place was to push him down on the bed, and jump him, roaring...

By the end of November, we'll have our 2 Years Anniversary!

 

[pop_54]

Now the wife and I were chatting about this very subject the other night in bed as I was combing the lice out of her fleece, we reminisced about the night we first enjoyed pre-marital sex.

It was a moon lit night on the slopes of Snowdonia as I gently eased her back legs into my wellington boots to prevent her from running off, oops sorry I mean prevent her slipping on the wet grass I always preferred to engage in pre-marital sex with her facing over the edge of a precipice because it made her push back harder for fear of falling.

No mate nothing wrong with a bit of nookie before you get hitched and she cuts the supply off completely after a few years I mean do you buy all of your clothes without trying them on first to see if they fit

On the other hand of course, if your lovely lady wishes to remain virgin and pure until some legal status is pronounced upon you both, that of course is up to her, and I admire you for your resolve to assist her with said continued virginity. Don't wear away your palm while waiting though

What the freek's pre-marital all about anyway, nothing about marriage in the real natural world is there, sheep don't get married really do they, no bloody holier than thou sheep priests are there.

Marriage is an invention of the bibal punching homosexual religious nuts over the years aint it, (nothing against gay folks of course, every red blooded man should have one in the closet).

Sorry just got a downer on the church at the moment, specially the choir boy shagging Catholic priests who comdemn millions in the third world to death by AIDS by preaching that condoms are evil and preventing the use of said rubber items to check the spread of the disease and another million unwanted kids.
Fucking wankers.

pops................. fuck it and

PS: Hey Lou darling, did you shag him after the meal by the way?

 

[Medieval-Man]

I just guess Rachel wants to be able to wear a white gown and not feel guilty in her marrige.... other than that, I have no clue...

 

[Guest]

I just guess Rachel wants to be able to wear a white gown and not feel guilty in her marrige.... other than that, I have no clue...

Bah, it's all a steaming pile of hypocrisy anyway.

Oh, hello Light, I didn't see you there. Love youuuuuuuu.

Lou

Ps Pops, you speak a lot of sense to me, but you're a very naughty boy, how could you suggest such a thing?